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Esau married.... Basmat, the daughter of Ishmael and sister of Nevayot

Genesis 36:2-3

Elsewhere (in the account of her marriage, Genesis 28:9) the Torah calls her “Machalat.” We find in the Midrash ... that three people are forgiven their sins: a convert who converts [to Judaism], one who is elevated to a position of authority, and one who marries. This is derived from here—she was called Machalat (“forgiven one”) because her sins were forgiven.

Rashi, ibid.

The essence of marriage is regeneration—to “be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and conquer it.”[1] Hence the parallel between “one who marries” and “one who is elevated to a position of authority”—that is, empowered to “be fruitful and multiply” in the spiritual sense, to influence the lives of others and make them more righteous and productive. In the words of our sages, “Whoever teaches Torah to the child of his fellow, it is considered as if he had fathered him.”[2] Father and mother generate the physical existence of the child; teachers and role models are the progenitors of his spiritual self.[3]

One often hears the argument, “How can I influence others, when my own spiritual state leaves much to be desired?” or, in the words of the Talmud, “Improve yourself before you improve others.”[4] Indeed, the same argument could be presented against physical regeneration—“How can I, with all my faults, presume to bring children into the world?” It is for this reason that when a man and woman make the commitment to build a home, G-d cleanses their souls of all past iniquities and failings. A person’s marriage day is a personal Yom Kippur,[5] on which he is granted a new self with which to achieve the most significant turning point in his life: the point at which the focus of his existence shifts from self-development to productivity.

The same applies to “one who is elevated to a position of authority”—the spiritual equivalent of “one who marries.” When a person makes the commitment to devote his life to the improvement of others, G-d presents him with a new, pristine self with which to embark on his sacred task.

Today, the spiritual state of our generation demands that each and every one of us make this commitment. And the Torah guarantees that whoever makes this commitment can proceed to exercise it, uninhibited by any thoughts of unworthiness or inadequacy.

Based on the Rebbe’s talks, Shabbat Vayishlach 5727 (November 26, 1966) and on other occasions[6]

Adapted from the teachings of the Rebbe by Yanki Tauber
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