One of the gratifying and beautiful benefits of our work is the feedback we receive from you, our readers. As fascinating as they are diverse your comments, critique, questions, arguments and counterarguments reflect the rich multi-dimensional tapestry of our human race.
Powerful insights emerge from the opinions of large, diverse groups of people. “The wisdom of crowds” is how it has been coined today in a book by the same name (authored by New Yorker columnist James Surowiecki), exploring the idea that large groups of people are smarter than an elite few, no matter how brilliant; they are better at solving problems, fostering innovation, coming to wise decisions, even predicting the future.
The aggregative synergy of independent, decentralized opinions has the ability to reveal deeper truths about many issues. Even at its least optimal, the opinions of the masses on the ground definitely expose the state of the human condition, better than any analyst could ever predict from a pedestal (or ivory tower). Analysts, therapists and even marketers and advertisers – and for that matter, educators, clergies and leaders – would do well listening closely to the voice of the people.
Students of human nature are actually students of G-d. There are ways to know the Divine through revelation and holy books. But there is a profound and intimate Divine wisdom that comes from studying our own “flesh” (“from my flesh I behold G-d”) and the natural universe (“how great” and “how many” are Your works).
In this spirit, we are launching a new feature: The Meaningful Question of the Week. Its objective: To pose a timely question – addressing a relevant issue – in order to elicit your responses and comments and those of anyone you pass this question on to. The questions will be culled either from your correspondence with us or from current news and other sources.
Our goal is to create a platform of dialogue for the widest possible audience, to address the most important challenges facing us today.
We therefore invite both your responses as well as suggested questions for future postings. We also encourage you to welcome your friends, associates and anyone you see fit into this ever-widening loop. The more people responding – the greater the synergy and wisdom of the crowds.
As a follow-up to the many responses we received to last week’s article on Givers and Takers, addressing Warren Buffett’s unprecedented charitable commitment, the question for this week is this:
“What does wealth do to families?”
Here are some opinions out there.
The great philanthropist Andrew Carnegie felt that wealth should not be passed on to families. In his 1889 essay “Wealth” (later named “The Gospel of Wealth”) Carnegie wrote:
“The most injudicious” method of disposing of wealth is leaving it to the families of the descendents. “In monarchical countries, the estates and the greatest portion of the wealth are left to the first son, that the vanity of the parent may be gratified by the thought that his name and title are to descend unimpaired to succeeding generations. The condition of this class in Europe today teaches the failure of such hopes or ambitions. The successors have become impoverished through their follies, or from the fall in the value of land. Even in Great Britain the strict law of entail has been found inadequate to maintain an hereditary class. Its soil is rapidly passing into the hands of the stranger. Under republican institutions the division of property among the children is much fairer; but the question which forces itself upon thoughtful men in all lands is, Why should men leave great fortunes to their children. If this is done from affection, is it not misguided affection. Observation teaches that, generally speaking, it is not well for the children that they should be so burdened. Neither is it well for the State. Beyond providing for the wife and daughters moderate sources of income, and very moderate allowances indeed, if any, for the sons, men may well hesitate; for it is no longer questionable that great sums bequeathed often work more for the injury than for the good of the recipients. Wise men will soon conclude that, for the best interests of the members of their families, and of the State, such bequests are an improper use of their means.
“It is not suggested that men who have failed to educate their sons to earn a livelihood shall cast them adrift in poverty. If any man has seen fit to rear his sons with a view to their living idle lives, or, what is highly commendable, has instilled in them the sentiment that they are in a position to labor for public ends without reference to pecuniary considerations, then, of course, the duty of the parent is to see that such are provided for in moderation. There are instances of millionaires’ sons unspoiled by wealth, who, being rich, still perform great services to the community. Such are the very salt of the earth, as valuable as, unfortunately, they are rare. It is not the exception however, but the rule, that men must regard; and, looking at the usual result of enormous sums conferred upon legatees, the thoughtful man must shortly say, “I would as soon leave to my son a curse as the almighty dollar,” and admit to himself that it is not the welfare of the children, but family pride, which inspires these legacies.”
In our own time, Warren Buffett, who just declared the largest charitable pledge ever made, argues that estate taxes should be increased, not eliminated. Mr. Buffett says the estate tax helps build a vibrant economy of innovators and strivers — a true meritocracy — and that repealing it would risk a stunted economy controlled by aristocratic inheritors. Repealing the estate tax, he has said, would be the economic equivalent of “choosing the 2020 Olympic team by picking the eldest sons of the gold-medal winners in the 2000 Olympics.”
Bill Gates, a founder of Microsoft and close friend of Mr. Buffett, has not taken a public position on the estate tax, but his father leads the movement to keep it. Few ultrarich families agree, and 18 have spent $500 million since 1994 lobbying for estate tax repeal, according to disclosure records examined by Public Citizen and United for a Fair Economy, which want to keep the tax.
Almost alone among rich Americans, Mr. Buffett and Mr. Gates position echoes Carnegies’ philosophy in the abovementioned essay.
What is the Torah opinion?
The Torah specifically states that children inherit the wealth of parents. What would the Torah answer to Carnegie’s arguments, and the facts on the ground, that inherited wealth in most cases does not serve the children well? Clearly, the Torah is speaking about healthy situations in which the bearers of wealth understand that their blessing carries responsibility; they know that it is meant to be shared and they fulfill their charitable obligations of distributing 10% or 20% of their wealth to tzedakah.
But the question is what would the Torah say about wealth that is being hoarded, squandered and/or corrupting and tearing apart families? What about children who do not understand the great responsibility that comes with wealth, and instead become spoiled by their gift?
What do you think?
The Masses Are Asses– letting them determine their own fate surely will lead them to ruin. We need leaders with vision to go beyond comfort and safety to move us forward.
So says God = me! (And you are too!!)
I think that if parents have a large financial estatel, there is nothing wrong with leaving the heirs with a gift. However, a large gift, one that could potentially change a lifestyle can be a larger burden that leaving no gift. With wealth comes responsibility. When you have earned you money you know how precious it is and that the ability to earn it yourself increases your awareness of its true value. Lets say you leave each child one million dollars – do you know how it would effect them? Would they quit their jobs and loaf around? Would they hord it themselves? Would they give a portion of it wisely? These are burdens that might lead to a negative outcome. The joy of spending money you have earned is something parents should be mindful of when planning their estate.
Wealth provides an additional opportunity to bring out the very best or worst in its recipient.
The Gemara in Brochos talks about a son who upon inheriting a field from his father did not appropriate the correct amounts of Tzedakah from its produce. The field declined each year, as the Tzedakah did. We see that inheritance is, indeed, the way Torah wants things to happen, coupled, though, with the appropriate behavior.
The question is too narrow if we describe wealth as just money. It is really what a family trains children to bond in. My family was not of a wealthy nature monetarily, but they thought they were wealthy because they believed in ethics and ideas. However, we were not given wealth about dignity in ourselves for just this sake. This resulted in always an insecurity about my true meaning/mission in life. Wealth whether monetary or any other ways that is in anyway subjective forces one to bond to something other than their true self. The sad part about this type of non monetary wealth is that though it is not external is and probably more insidious than currency. It effects the internal mechanism of a person and makes it harder to see and deal wtih as just another form of idol worship.
My Dear Brother Simon,
I awake on Fridays, and think, Today is erev Shabbat, and I will hear from Simon, and a smile crosses my face. What is it that I receive from Simon that brings a light to my soul? It is the deep sense of humility that is within this mans heart, which I so desperately lack. His essence shines on me and I know immediately where I need to repent. Thank you for having a soul that refuses to leave mine in darkness without saying a word, just by BEING.
Bracha Ahuva Judith
I think as with most social questions a balance should be achieved. I concur that education and meritocracy must be the root of society – not inherited wealth – and an estate tax serves as a good leveler. But surely a motivation to make money is to provide for your family for the long run – eliminating this through a giant tax would hurt the animal spirits which drive economic achievement. If Gates, Buffet and Carnegie dont want to give money to their children – that is their option – but they dont have the right to impose that on all of us.
A government should NEVER be allowed to determine how ones earnings/possessions should be divided. In a perfect world an honest, objective, and responsible parent would make a correct determination. Being that this is not a perfect world, and many parents really do not care enough to make the right decision we must live with the consequences. There are going to be some horror stories. But PLEASE!!!… Giving a government the right to tax away, arbitrarily, an inheritance based on a nanny… I know better whats good for you attitude is an infinitly worse evil. If we prayerfully strive to instill the right values in our children they will grow to properly manage their inheritance. If they dont a responcible parent should do the same as did Gates and Buffett (and many others on a smaller scale). Both parties MUST do the righteous thing.
i believe that wealth should be passed down at the parents descretion. if they feel that their children understand the obligations and commitments that come with having great wealth, then the money should be passed down. but if the parents feel that the childrens humanity would be crushed by the weight of the money, then the children should not receive all of the money. if the parents g-d forbid die very early in the childs life (befor being able to observe their childrens traits) then the bulk of the money should be given away to charity, a place where youre sure the money will be handled properly.
I think that this dilemma is yet another classic example / mistake about religious ideas. Again, we need to divide the religion, per se, from those that observe (or dont observe) it.
Clearly, Torahs model for the laws of inheritance is fascinating, enhancing a myriad of good things.
How much more can the family grow without all the financial worries? How much more charity can be shared with this inherited wealth? How generous the family can be to their relatives, and friends, in need? How much will the local religious institutions gain by their new philanthropist?
So, it seems quite non-sensical to deny the remaining family of the wealth. And if you will ask: What if…? Then I will ask back: What if our children struggle in the secular world because of their insular community? What if our leaders fail, and fall into the trap that so many other leaders fell into?
Enough What ifs! Or just one final one: What if we left religion alone, the way it was designed to be, and preached more about correcting ourselves and drawing closer to its model, rather than the reverse?
One out of six elderly people will become victims of financial exploitation.
One out of six.
That is the consensus estimate by the top experts in the United States in the field of elder financial abuse as stated during a 2005 policy planning meeting for the White House Conference on Aging. I had the privilege of being one of those invited. Based upon 12 years of experience in this field, I agreed – one out of six, more than 15%, will be victimized.
Most of the identified perpetrators are family members (yes, even in frum families) or friends. Families are torn apart and personal relationships are destroyed. Many times, the exploitation takes the form of manipulating the elder into changing his/her estate plans (Wills, Trusts, insurance beneficiaries, etc.). Other times, the exploitation involves obtaining funds or other assets from the elder while he/she is still alive. If the elder is still alive, financial abuse may become the point-of-entry for any of the other forms of elder abuse – neglect, or physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Even if these additioanl tragedies do not occur, victims of financial abuse are more likely to become ill (or have marked worsening of pre-existing illnesses) and/or die.
The perpetrators are not necessarily evil people. Although some are criminals who seek out vulnerable elderly people as prey, many are opportunists – people who may have deservedly outstanding reputations and personalities. In the usual sequence of events, such a person begins caring for an elder out of truly altruistic motives. But chronic caregiving can be like the infamous water torture. The never-ending strain takes its emotional, physical, and financial toll on the caregiver. Being a decent person he seeks out, and eventually exhausts, all the available forms of assistance. One type of assistance involves help with the existential questions: Why is this evil happening to my (mother, father, sibling, friend, etc.? Why is this (increasingly lonely experience) happening to me? Where is G-d, and why doesnt the Holy One help?
Normal questions – but the response is inadequate. Many rabbis would like to help, but they either do not have the time or no longer have the pertinent knowledge available in our long history of rabbinic writings. The caregiver leaves, feeling even more isolated. At some point, the caregiver beings rationalizing infractions. These start off often as minor events – e.g. using the elders money to purchase small amounts of gasoline or groceries for the caregiver – but gradually grow. The caregiver may begin to insist upon ever-increasing payment for his services. He may also truly believe that he is the only person caring for the elder (this may be true), and therefore deserves to inherit a greater percentage – even all – of the elders estate.
Once this stage is reached, both the opportunists and the criminal predator begin to behave similarly. The process is called undue influence. This is a process of manipulation that goes beyond acceptable behavior. Victims who are cognitively impaired are easier to manipulate, but the process works as well against people who are strong-willed and/or intellectually superior. More about the undue influence process – and how to stop it – is available at:
Degree of religious practice does not prevent this tragedy from happening. It is not unusual to hear of situations involving knowledgeable and observant Jews. What is necessary is a restructuring of community resources and a sense of communal responsibility. Recognizing the problem is the first step.
If you have questions, please feel free to contact me.
Bennett Blum, MD
Mental Capacity and Undue Influence Evaluations
Tel: (520) 750-8868
I suspect that the mass media has very little sympathy toward wealthy people and their spoiled children…Rightfully so.The wealthiest of men and their children should busy themselves with worthy causes…I cant help but being intolerent of homelesness for example…Any very wealthy person could take a city to start with, and make it a model for other cities, states and the world at large by declaring it a zone where homelessness is abolished. We live in a world where the pets of rich people go to psychiatrist and dentist, and the children of Hashem still starve from anger and die in poverty. That should be unacceptable to ANY very wealthy people. They should be in the news busy making real changes and repairing the world once for all. They have the money, they have the smart, they have the opportunity. They lack the heart and soul for making the world a decent and dignify world for all. The homeless people are the sons and daughters of mothers. The money should be inherited by the mothers who have the wisdom and disire to take care of the world. Women like me. Tell any of those men to put me to work. I am for Hire!
What a Nation hands down to its people: Is it wealth or poverty, it must be one or the other.
Torah and the best case scenario for handing down wealth points out the ability to know where it came from and where it should go.
Our Nations Forfathers seem to have surely given that some thought. Today we have lost the vision of what good and noble thing we must hand down to the the emerging people of the Land that will invoke the that things might go well with you clause in G-ds contract for true wealth.
The Bohemian Hebrew Prophet wrote in 1979 these words
Sometimes I feel so low-down and disgusted
Cant help but wonder whats happening to my companions
Are they lost or are they found, have they counted the cost itll take to bring down
All their earthly principles theyre gonna have to abandon ?
Theres slow, slow train coming up around the bend.
I had a woman down in Alabama
She was a backwoods girl, but she sure was realistic
She said, Boy, without a doubt, have to quit your mess and straighten out
You could die down here, be just another accident statistic
Theres slow, slow train coming up around the bend.
All that foreign oil controlling American soil
Look around you, its just bound to make you embarrassed
Sheiks walking around like kings, wearing fancy jewels and nose rings
Deciding Americas future from Amsterdam and to Paris
And theres slow, slow train coming up around the bend.
Mans ego is inflated, his laws are outdated, they dont apply no more
You cant rely no more to be standing around waiting
In the home of the brave, Jefferson turning over in his grave
Fools glorifying themselves, trying to manipulate Satan
And theres slow, slow train coming up around the bend.
Big-time negotiators, false healers and woman haters
Masters of the bluff and masters of the proposition
But the enemy I see wears a cloak of decency
All non-believers and men stealers talking in the name of religion
And theres slow, theres slow train coming up around the bend.
People starving and thirsting, grain elevators are bursting
Oh, you know it costs more to store the food than it do to give it
They say loose your inhibitions, follow your own ambitions
They talk about a life of brotherly love, show me someone who knows how to live it
Theres slow, slow train coming up around the bend.
Well, my baby went to Illinois with some bad-talking boy she could destroy
A real suicide case, but there was nothing I could do to stop it
I dont care about economy, I dont care about astronomy
But its sure do bother me to see my loved ones turning into puppets
Theres slow, slow train coming up around the bend.
Charity or inheritance should be studied and decided once you offer an ethical basis of how money should be created. (Blotte=gelt).
Percentages indicated in the Torah should be adapated to modern times and realities.*(even the concept should be restudied)Giving or asking an opinion on money or its distribution in a separate context of the society, where money relationships are created conducts everybody to an obscure path,full of unfair and cynical concepts.
Unearned wealth can hurt governments just as much as individuals. Maybe more.
Any person who truly lives the Commandment to LOVE THY GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND SOUL & LOVE THEY NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF and who lives THE GOLDEN RULE 24/7 in every thought, intention or action will have no difficuty in handling his/her wealth in the appropriate and most beneficial manner.
There is no other, meaningful answer to this strictly, left brained, intellectual question. The only answer can come from the 99% REALM, so well explained in THE POWER of KABBALAH.
The question then is: What must we do to remain consciously aware that all our thoughts, intentions and plans follow the the LOVE command and the GOLDEN RULE.
Write any scenario you can think of; allow all the persons involved in this imaginary scenario consciously handle everything from this LOVE SPACE and following THE GOLDEN RULE. You will end up with a LOVE STORY.
And in reral life, the person truly living in the 99% realm, will handle his/her inheritance exactly as it is meant to be handled.
This is my sincere belief after studying what I have learned about Kabbalah from the Kabbalah Centre.
As a recently divorced woman who has been deserted by her ex husband and is being given no child support, I do not really have to grapple with the dilemma of what to do with my wealth. I have no wealth. What I do possess is the wherewithal to share whatever I have with whoever needs it. Children should be brought up to recognize the value of work and its fulfillment. To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield. Money is worth only as much as what you use it for. Use money for beneficial enterprises such as purchasing books, the pursuit of knowledge, helping others, rather than enhancing ones ego, making ostentatious statements and creating jealousy. If children are taught the value of money, leaving them large inheritances will not impede their spiritual growth. On the contrary, it will enable them to help others in their quest to live meaningul lives!