How to Loosen Up


The key to loosening up and to being less uptight is to drink three glasses of whiskey in quick succession. Just kidding! It’s also not: deep breathing, smoking pot, repeating affirmations, or punching pillows. The aforementioned activities might give you a temporary sense of relief from stress, but they do not shift your mindset in the long term. If you want to know how to loosen up, what you really need to know is how to release your inner child. The phrase “inner child” is dismissed and mocked gets made fun of a lot because of its insipid use in pop psychology, but hear us out please. Spiritually, Kabbalistically, your inner child is your soul — your true self. Being uptight is a result of ego and fear getting in the way of your soul’s natural expression. If you want to experience permanent changes in your life, you’ve got to let your inner child out to play.

Your Inner Child Is Not a Buffoon

Children are loose and free. They are silly and love to play. Children are easily delighted by the smallest wonders; they are enchanted by life. The natural happiness of a child is not foolishness; it is innocence and purity. Children are not born angry, sad, or jaded — these are coping mechanisms that we learn from the adults around us. Being jaded is not at all a sign of maturity; it is defensiveness. In fact, immature adults are often the most cynical and irritable people. A sign of emotional maturity is leading with your soul, rather than with your ego. The soul (AKA the inner child) is infinitely intelligent. It is also infinitely happy.

Your Inner Child Is the Gateway to Transcendence

Picture yourself after a tense work day, sitting in traffic and late to your next engagement. Your shoulders are hunched, your jaw is locked, you’re ready to get out of the car and punch someone. Where is your inner child? He or she is buried deep inside you, covered up by layers of your adult stress. When stressed your best move it to step back and find your soul — you inner child. Your soul is reality, whereas your neuroses are a concoction of your intellect. Your innocent inner child is the natural you; anxiety is an acquired state. Your true, innocent self is the gateway to transcending life’s material difficulties.

The following exercise will reintroduce you to your inner child. Repeating the exercise on a daily basis (at least once a day, but ideally twice a day) will gradually rewire your brain and emotions to default to your inner child rather than to your adult stress.

Exercise: Get your phone out, set a timer for five minutes, and look around you as if you are a child. Instead of analyzing what you see, explore it with curiosity. Allow yourself to be exhilarated by the moment. For these five minutes, just exist. Just be. Don’t worry — when the timer rings, you can put the weight of the world back on your shoulders. Who are you when your superimposed narrative is turned off? What does it feel like not to be fired up by the same old toxic thoughts and angry or depressed feelings? Journal about it in MyMLC.

Sign up now for your FREE MyMLC account and get access to a variety of resources, including a daily journal, to record the growth and progress of your daily soul workouts and meaningful journey.


Go deeper into this subject: Your Inner Child, I Am a Child and I Believe, My Dear Child

Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
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Wednesday, July 7, 2021 @8:30pm
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