Your Soul Workout Journal
1. How are your emotional boundaries?
What would you consider to be off limits in a casual conversation with an acquaintance?
The limit of the person of my own limits. If I or she tell me: I don’t feel comfortable to talk about that with you.
I can ask for some help or give a professional reference to help if the person/me are a danger for me/ herself or for someone else.
I don’t feel comfortable to talk about my private sexuality, my family, my family’s history or to durst the reputation to someone else when is not there to tell his own version.
Can you identify the difference between doing what you feel is right and what others expect from you?
What I think others expect from me: I’m outside the society & I’m under the protection of a Chretien institution work for homeless people.
I can stay in that situation the consequence can be; I can become crazy or decide to look crazy; because the dangerous environment & because of a lake of purpose & intimate.
A way I can choose:
Stay in that situation; Take a chance to become crazy or look crazy. Take medication/ test the side effect. Stop to do my training and eat the food the cook did without questions. Respect the rules in the place. Work 20h00 a week for 50$, a bed and food. Become Chretien in that institution, if I want.
A way I can choose:
Rise-up every morning, clean my body, clean my clothes. Respect the rules in the place. Respect each other, talk when someone don’t respect me or if someone don’t respect someone else; but don’t expect necessary a result immediate. Believe what I want, do my appeal, work 30 min the morning 5 time by weeks & found a way to do money if I want to be able to pay for some precise items they can’t give me.
A way I can choose:
Go back to my country with a criminal files or found another institution can give me a bed & food free.
Show to the team where I want to work what I can offer and why I’m the better candidate for the post.
Respect my engagement, arrive at the right time, adapt my performance to the need of the company and take care to my body.
What I feel is right:
Work on my dream, work/clean my reputation and resolve the “Channing Tatum mystery’ because I live ln a doubt and that kept a part of my Joy.
Weak-up every morning, clean my body, clean my clothes, do my makeup, respect each other, talk when someone don’t respect me or if someone don’t respect someone else; don’t expect necessary a result immediate. Respect the rules in the place. Respect my alimentation discipline & beliefs but understand if they can’t give me some precise items. Think about the possibility to move, look for other place and maybe move when I will know the date of my appeal.
To be able to obtain my consummator independence; Apply for job at Universal studio and sale portrait with the Frozen costume on Hollywood Boulevard &/or Santa Monica. Come back on a stage, determine clearly my life mission.
Me & Goal
I create for G.D but also for love; man love. I included this man in my production before he confirm he want to be inside; I need to be able to keep my focus on my dream and mission and don’t be destroy if the man who inspire a part of my work don’t recognize me. Otherwise; I will need to replace him inside the production and do like signer who song love song with actor? Do you know better solution? That a major risk I decide to took.
Talk about my beliefs Kosher food
I don’t talk about that because I practice with meaningful center alone and I have a Chretien education I don’t want to reject. I don’t know if a Jewish institution could recognize me like a Jew.
I can look for bank vegetarian food.
I can ask for Jew help center at the woman center & do my own recherche.
Respect my body:
Refuse to take medication who will give me some bad side effect if I’m not a danger for the society or myself; Be able to express myself and ask about that!
Do my volunteering with the time limit I’m able to give for don’t stop professional work’s dreams. I Talk about that with the volunteering’s manager. Now, I need to know how much will be my rent if I work 30 min the morning 5 time by week. My travel to go to do my training to Santa Monica take 2h hours by day and sometime I can’t eat the food where I live.
Now; I’m close to be able to fix the mistakes the therapists do on my body few years ago: I want to train in good financial condition & professional studio. Kept a good medical team. Choose a company respect my values limits. Be able to express my physical & psychological limits before an emotional crash or an injury. Respect my religion will be a good way to impose a rest.
Jew reality versus Business obligation?!
How to deal with the reality of the market, competition, schedule world versus Shabat & Festival Jew? It’s holy to practice alone? G.d will see a difference if I take my rest the Monday. That look important to respect a commune convention to protect the religion.
Respect my budget
When I look for employee; Take reference, compare different services and prices, be able to express my needs and my budget. Be careful to recognize honest worker.
Take a day to think before to buy some product. Don’t look for the love of people, look for what I can afford who respect a close budget my G.D and values. Forgive my mistakes.
How much of a divide is there between what you deem public and what you deem private?
I have no private life. I show outside the shelter a picture of someone clean & traveler. That not false but an the same time I have no more private “home”
When looking to rise in your career, what lines would you not cross?
I don’t want to be completely nude on the stage (bathing south is my limit) to do pornography or to do prostitution. I don’t want to perform with a broken body, I don’t want to perform in a dangerous conditions (Train to Santa Monica is not the better way), I look for good condition money & security.
What would you do if someone powerful would behave inappropriately with you?
I kept on silence some name but I usually finish to talk about that inside poems or painting and found some way to publish the poems and painting.
I try the police without great result.
I began 2 years ago to talk with a rabbi.
2. Rate your inner dignity:
Do you know what you stand for, and what your values are?
I was thinking yes but now I learn about my own religion because I didn’t know about the Jew religion but Jesus was Jew. I was a Chretien education with an interest for the environment and humanitarian cause.
I want to respect the rules of the society and to be consummator.
Do you think poorly of yourself, or are you comfortable with who you are?
Now my physical condition look better I want to perform again. I did money with portraits with Frozen costume and I felt JOY. That look better.
Does your desire to be liked compromise your boundaries?
YES, because now I have a criminal file because the man (the music) I loved didn’t recognize me.
Yes because I bought products to fast.
3. Do you believe that relationships are sacred? Not just convenient or for pleasure?
How important of a role does commitment play in your relationships?
It have no commitment in our relationships.
Is there a higher purpose in your relationship?
My purpose was to create painting, song talk about love of man/G.d & man/woman man/human. I was the impression he support me but without commitment, physical presence & public reconnaissance. I include this man in my production before he confirm he want to be inside.
Are you building something together?
Yes & No because: He don’t give me commitment, physical presence & public reconnaissance. His advice (musique, cars klaxons) can be misinterpreted & he denied know me.
Do you believe in finding and marrying your soul mate?
That was my first impression but how I can write that: He don’t give me commitment, physical presence & public reconnaissance & he denied know me and because I was handicap to work, I was not ready, My purpose was confuse ( or maybe because something else) and he had another relationship.
How much do you honor the inner dignity of the person you’re in a relationship with?
I was think he wanted I will know about is private life because I was thinking the camera was open. I did a mistake. The time past and because he doesn’t recognize me, because I don’t feel respect for what I asked for; unity between body &soul, because that misunderstanding communication cause me trouble in my purpose ; I began to had a lack of interest for the “special” attention he give me.
I can understand he’s a busy person.
I need to fix that situation, do the appeal, try to clean my file and give my work to G.D if I don’t want to stop everything because he decide to change idea. Need to work on my Joy.