Six Ways to Gain Confidence


Some mistakenly think that confidence is something you either have or don’t have. That is not true. Every one of us can build and grow confidence. Even if you feel insecure and lack self-confidence, it is possible to work on yourself to acquire it. You are not damaged goods. In fact, you have unlimited and unknown potential deep inside yourself. Access your inner confidence with these six techniques.

1. Develop Awareness of Your Soul

Your soul is absolutely secure and brimming with self esteem. But life in this insecure world — experiences that hurt us — can conceal and disconnect you from your soul and its inherent confidence, and leave you feeling fearful and threatened in a hostile world. To access your secure soul you need to connect to the soul; to be aware of it. The deeper your awareness, the more profound your confidence will manifest. You must become confident with confidence, so to speak; confident with your own inner soul confidence. To achieve that you need to have a relationship with your soul. By communing with your soul – through study, prayer and good deeds – you can glean energy from the soul’s inherent confidence.

2. Shift Your Routines

Sometimes when we cannot access the inner resources that lay beneath the surface, we need to scrape away the outer crusts that conceal the energy within. Psychologically this is called behavioral change: external change brings internal change. Shift your routines and this will in turn shift your inner moorings. Shift breeds shift. Change your habits.

3. Fake It ‘Til You Make It

One way to create such a shift is to “fake” it — to project and believe in the possibility even when you are not in the mood. To act confident even when you may not feel that way. You’re not being a liar; you are transcending how you feel and transcending your limiting beliefs, which in turn free up your inner strengths.

4. Seek Support

Peer support is also an important factor in gaining confidence. Beginning from early childhood, the support we get from our parents (and also the lack of it) directly affects our level of self-confidence. When a child is acknowledged and encouraged, assured and complimented, the child builds courage and learns to trust him/herself. As a child explores it’s surroundingd, observe how s/he looks for affirmation from parents and adults. Even if your childhood resulted in a lack of confidence, there is always hope. Find supportive friends and mentors who can support you in making your unique contribution to the world.

5. Be Around Confident People

Another powerful way to behaviorally build self-confidence is to be around confident people. Confidence is contagious. Spending time with secure people will always nurture your soul’s inner confidence, just as hanging around insecure people will always feed your insecurities.

6. Make Other People Feel Confident

It’s a mirror image: Confidence breeds confidence; security feeds security. You usually make others feel as you are; you project what you are and you are what you project. Confident and secure people make others feel the same. Insecure people make others feel insecure. Help others feel confident, and it will come back and bring you confidence in return.

Exercise: Identify an area of your life where you lack confidence. Begin to implement the six methods described in this article. Reflect on it in your free MyMLC journal.

Go deeper into this subject: Confidence | The Antidote to Rage: Inner Security | Doubt: The Silent Killer | MyLife: Chassidus Applied Episode 111 | Whatever

Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Boost Your Confidence in 3 Easy Ways
Wednesday, October 13, 2021 @8:30pm
Live Stream | Podcast

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6 years ago

What should I do when I mess up and turn red

6 years ago

How do you imagine the audience are not there

Christina ann m david
5 years ago

First inhale …exhale…Just calm down and relax your self and just imagine in your mind you are the only one star in the sky that’s always sparkling in everyone’s eyes…

Seeker of the truth
4 years ago

This article recommends the “fake it ’til you make it.”

Here’s what I’ve observed in life: People in business, sales, and religion, who practice “fake it ’til you make it,” see how well it works, so they keep on being duplicitous after they make it (reach an initial level of success).

They never become real, honest, integrated, spiritual. They can never tell others what they are really thinking or feeling.

They learn to tell other people what they want to hear, and what will make the sale, close the deal, gain a customer or fan, or win the election.

They learn to tell themselves what makes them feel good.

I.e., they learn that lying to and misleading others, and oneself, if done carefully, works very well for success, fame, and wealth in the material world.

I’ve seen this play out in my life and in the lives of many others including many successful people that everyone reading this comment hears a lot about every day.

Anytime anyone advises you to be “fake,” for whatever reason, you should be very cautious about following such advice.

After all, as the great sages have always taught, success and fame in the material world is not the most important thing, or even really necessary.

The success of your soul is what is really essential.

Seeker of the truth
4 years ago

Rather than “fake it ’til you make it,” wouldn’t it be better to put one’s trust in sacred word, as this website recommends?

Isn’t trusting in divinity better than any sort of faking?

Doesn’t one sort of faking lead to other sorts of faking, and perhaps a whole lifetime of duplicity (to oneself and to others)?

4 years ago

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4 years ago

Hello. And Bye.

4 years ago


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