Tag: destiny

  • The 42 Journeys of Your Life

    The 42 Journeys of Your Life

    Is your life made up of a many disjointed pieces, or is there a continuum to it all? Are your choices being made by other people’s expectations of you and the circumstances around you, or do you feel that there is an underlying script beneath the surface of your life? Are you being torn in different directions by all types of forces demanding your time and attention, or do you determine what direction your life takes? Is your life a journey from one point to the next, leading to a destination, or is it a bunch of disconnected fragments?

    Do you ever feel that your life is like a roller-coaster? With unexpected twists and turns, highs and lows? Sometimes you feel all motivated and enthusiastic; a moment later the inspiration dissipates. What is going on? Why can’t we find an equilibrium?

    This week’s Torah portion – which closes book four of the Bible — consists of a combination of two chapters, Matos and Massei, Journeys. This chapter reviews in detail the forty two journeys that the Jewish people traveled on, from the moment they left Egypt, until they arrived (40 years later) to the Promised Land.

    The Baal Shem Tov teaches that these forty-two journeys in the wilderness reflect the forty-two psycho-spiritual phases that each person experiences throughout life. “These are the journeys of the Israelites, who had left Egypt” on the way to the Promised Land: All the 42 journeys are about freeing ourselves and transcending the constraints and limitations (Mitzrayim) of our material existence which conceals the Divine, subduing and sublimating the harsh “wilderness” of selfish existence, and discovering the “Promised Land” – a life of harmony between body and soul.

    This idea – that your life is a journey consisting of 42 steps – can literally transform your entire life. By examining the cycles of your life you can discover the 42 different phases you have experienced and will experience. Imagine being able to trace the steps of your life and connect the otherwise random dots – seeing how they all are part of one journey leading you to your promised land?

    The definition of a journey is: Movement with direction. Like the captain of a ship, each of us needs a compass that allows us to navigate the twists and turns, the ups and downs, the swells and storms of our lives. By studying the 42 journeys in this week’s chapter, you can learn how to align your life, with all its ups and downs, to the compass of a higher rhythm, and create a strategy that rides and taps into these rhythms. It allows you to discover how to synchronize your life journeys to the Divine coordinates that “lead the footsteps of man.” It’s like having an inner compass that senses life’s internal tempo, being able to pace your outer movements by your inner rhythms.

    When we feel that every detail of our lives – both the highs and the lows, both the trivial and the important experience – are part of a larger journey, it infuses life with a new exhilarating feeling; you wake up each day knowing that you are on another leg of your journey and that you can determine the trajectory of your own destiny.

    Go here for a detailed breakdown of the 42 journeys, and see how they reflect in your life.

  • Elitism: Are We All Created Equal?

    Elitism: Are We All Created Equal?

    Is there such a thing as objective elitism or is it only an illusion of the elite? Are all people equal or are some more equal than others? Is enlightenment exclusive only to a select few?

    Think of all the strangers you have encountered along your life’s journey. Isn’t it fascinating to study the faces of thousands of random people? What are the ultimate aspirations of all these people? (Are they thinking the same thing about me?). Are they independent thinkers, following their own paths? Or are they all being manipulated by the few people with power and wealth?

    This week’s Torah portion provide some interesting insights.

    *****

    One of the themes in this week’s Torah portion is yichus.

    You don’t know what yichus is? Let me tell you. Yichus is what Tevye the milkman could have complained about to G-d. As in:

    “Dear G-d, you made many, many poor people. I realize, of course, that it’s no shame to be poor. But it’s no great honor either! So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?” Tevye could have added: “Ok, so if you didn’t bless me with wealth, why didn’t you at least give me yichus?”

    Literally, yichus means lineage, distinguished birth, pedigree. But it means much more in Yiddish culture, as a proud Yiddishe grandmother exclaiming at the wedding of her grandchild: “oy! You should see how handsome is the choson of my einekel (the groom of my granddaughter)! And yichus—gevald, such yichus; don’t ask…”

    Or when someone proposes a shidduch (match), and the question is asked: “And what about her yichus?”… “Is she tall?” to which the matchmaker replies: “She has money.” “Is she beautiful?” “She has yichus.”

    You get the idea.

    Yichus is that intangible which many people value for no other reason than image, often used to evaluate the merit of a potential matrimonial candidate. Yet, on a serious note, yichus also demonstrates “good blood,” cherished genes.

    But what exactly is this yichus thing. On one hand, the Torah values yichus. At the same time, the controversy remains how much significance should yichus bear when we live in a world where some of the most unrefined people have great yichus and some the most refined people may not have the greatest yichus. After all, even Abraham was not blessed with great yichus.

    This week’s Torah portion can help us unravel the yichus dilemma.

    The great Torah commentator Rashi explains why the verse emphasizes the lineage of Pinchas in the opening of this week’s portion:

    “Because the tribes would humiliate Pinchas by saying that he stems (on his mother’s side) from an idol worshiper and he murdered a Jewish leader. The verse therefore comes to establish his yichus (on his father’s side) to Aaron the High Priest, brother of Moses.”

    However this Rashi requires explanation. Is yichus a game of “eenie meenie mini moe”—randomly choosing the positive pedigree? Either or: If Pinchas’ lineage stemmed from an idol worshipper (as the tribes argued), how does it help us to emphasize that Pinchas also had good genes?

    Rashi teaches us the dual nature of yichus. As one humble grandson of a great Rebbe once told me, in response to my asking him why he doesn’t live up to his great yichus:

    “I heard from my father that yichus is like a bunch of zeroes.  If they follow a number then each 0 multiplies the number by ten. If no number precedes them, a bunch of 0’s add up to one big zero.”

    In other words yichus does not compensate for one’s deficiencies. Great yichus without one’s own virtues and efforts can be quite empty.

    True, that good lineage can often “carry” or “redeem” a person in difficult situations – hence the concept of “zechut avot,” the merit of our ancestors, which is never eradicated – yet, that merit is a blessing from above. We on our part cannot simply depend on yichus; we must do our part in living up to our lineage.

    Like Pinchas, each of us has two sides. We have great lineage traced directly to our ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.  Yet, we also have other “blood.” It is our choice to determine which one will control our lives; what direction our actions will take.

    Free will remains the unwavering foundation of life. Nothing—neither good nor bad pedigree—impedes our free choice. True, yichus can help a person, just as other personality traits may create more conducive conditions; but we all have our strengths and our challenges to overcome.

    After all, a person may have excellent yichus, even have grown up in a home that provided a strong education, yet still make terrible choices that hardly reflect his yichus. Conversely there are those that have reached great spiritual heights through their efforts, without any obvious and immediate positive pedigree.

    Because, every person has great yichus, even if it may stem from many generations back; and every person has unique challenges.

    So though it was true, as the tribes claimed, that Pinchas descended from an idol worshipper, yet through his selfless and courageous actions in taking the initiative, Pinchas earned his right to be identified with his distinguished grandfather Aaron the High Priest.

    The mistake of the tribes was the sin of elitism: They felt that lineage alone determines one’s destiny. Pinchas, originating from a pagan was doomed to an inferior position, regardless of his behavior; Zimri, leader of the Tribe of Shimeon, was blessed with leadership, regardless of his disgusting actions.

    The Torah tells us that it does not work that way. Take the great Moses: Notwithstanding their great pedigree, it was not Moses’ children but Joshua who succeeded him.

    Which really brings us to the topic of elitism. The debate continues to rage whether all people are actually equal, or are some more equal than others. The argument goes that the “masses are…,” most people are followers, interested primarily in their own survival and pleasures, and are in need of the few gifted individuals that are blessed with the vision and wisdom of leadership (“yodei makirei” in the language of Tanya).

    Even America, which cherishes the freedom of the individual and declares, “all men are created equal,” established the Electoral College, feeling that individuals would be too partisan and limited to directly elect the President. Instead, Electors, who are the most knowledgeable and informed individuals from each State, represent the general population and they select the president based solely on merit and without regard to State of origin or political party.

    Throughout history this debate has manifested itself in many shapes and forms.

    In the 60’s there was a debate amongst two enlightened individuals, whether a certain substance that induced a psychedelic state should be distributed to the masses or is it just for the elite, who will appreciate and not abuse it.

    Monarchs and clergy through the centuries claimed that they were blessed with being chosen by G-d to lead—that they were more equal than others.

    Even Maimonides wonders (introduction to the Mishne) what is the role of the masses who pursue their personal comforts and pleasures instead of an enlightened life of wisdom and virtue—the purpose for which man was created, but remains the path of the few. Maimonides goes on to explain that the role of the masses is to repair and civilize the world and thus serve the few enlightened people of wisdom and virtue, and to also serve as their company so the world not be desolate. Yet, clearly this is not the end of the discussion, especially taking into consideration that every human being has a Divine calling in the world.

    Some argue that this was also the dispute (l’havdil) between the Chassidim and the Misnagdim back when Chassidus was first introduced by the Baal Shem Tov. The non-Chassidic leaders felt that mysticism was to be studied only by the elite few. Whereas the Chassidic masters felt that it is relevant and should be taught to the masses, to all people.

    This debate around elitism has never been completely resolved. This week’s Pinchas story can help resolve the question by illuminating for us the delicate balance between the sanctity of the individual, the recognition of the limitations of the masses and the necessity for responsible leadership.

    The first thing we must know is that every person was created in the Divine image, and thus has a unique and indispensable role to play. Even if one is not the “enlightened type,” his or her Divine contribution can manifest itself in other ways. All people are expected to live up to their destiny—to the utmost of their ability and opportunity—to live a life of wisdom and virtue.

    In addition, each of us has been blessed with a powerful heritage and excellent pedigree. [Even if one cannot trace a lineage to special ancestors, Maimonides writes to Ovadiah the Ger, that his lineage goes directly to G-d, far superior to a lineage that stems from human beings, even great ones].

    At the same time, we also face the challenges of survival, and the inclination to protect our own immediate interests—laced with narcissism and self-preservation, with the temptation to overlook our higher calling.

    While it may be true that some people lean more toward the former and others toward the latter, yet all of us have elements of both: Enlightened leaders can be often quite selfish, and the simple masses can be often quite noble.

    Indeed, the paradox is apparent in the following verse in Jeremiah regarding the Messianic age:

    “I shall put my teaching in their inward parts and write it in their heart…They shall no longer teach one another… saying ‘know G-d,’ for they shall all know Me—from the least of them to the greatest of them” (Jeremiah 31:32-33).

    If  “they shall no longer teach one another… for they shall all know me” why does the verse say that there will be a distinction between “the least of them” (“ketanom”) and the “greatest of them” (“gedolom”)? Because diversity will remain, there will be both young and old, smaller and greater, yet each will know Me; G-d’s Essence will permeate each according to his/her level.

    We see here both elements: Equality yet distinction.

    Given, that we are not yet in Messianic times and we still are challenged by our own narcissism, hence, a greater need for leadership today. However, individual responsibility—and human diversity—is still part of pour present reality.

    So, despite the dual forces tugging at us in two opposite directions, the most important message of all is this:

    The choice is yours.

  • Unplugged

    Unplugged

    How We Define Our Own Destinies

    Dear Rabbi Jacobson,

    In many of your writings I have read that each of us is responsible to be happy. Indeed, it is a mitzvah to have simcha (joy). You have eloquently explained that each of us is indispensable and worthy of being joyful. However I would like to ask you, especially now that we enter the month of Adar, a month of joy: Is it possible that some of us are just wired to be happier than others? It often appears that way. Some people seem to simply have a happy disposition while others just don’t.

    The real question is this: Does our wiring define our attitudes and personalities or do our attitudes define our wiring?

    Broader yet: Can our thoughts change reality? Do our feelings shape our destiny?

    The possibility may sound preposterous, but the truth is that science now is embracing precisely this idea: That our reality is shaped by our thoughts. Or as it has recently been coined: Neurons get wired by the way they are fired. By repeatedly thinking about something a certain way, our minds actually get (re)wired to follow that thought pattern.

    If, for instance, you think negatively about yourself, your neurons get hardwired with a negative self-perception, to the point that the negative self-image becomes a self-fulfilling reality, in which you can no longer distinguish between the initial thought and the reality it has created.

    And once the neurons get wired into place, through habitual thinking, it becomes increasingly difficult to unwire yourself.

    Yet, just as we have become wired a certain way, we can also become unwired, through persistent effort we can refire our neurons and rewire them with new attitudes.

    Quantum physics takes this to a further extreme: We have the power to impact not just our neurons and self-perception but also the reality of existence around us. Indeed, many scientists argue that there really is no distinction between our thoughts and the reality around us. If, for example, a certain event has never entered the realm of possibility in your consciousness, then you will not be able to see the event even if actually is in your sight of vision!

    Our entire concept of reality is actually turned inside out: We always thought that there is an objective reality “out there” which we then experience and try to comprehend. The truth is that it’s not reality that shapes our perception; our perception shapes our reality.

    A Japanese researcher, Dr. Masaru Emoto, has demonstrated that human thought has the power to change the shape and expression of water crystals. Using powerful microscopes he showed that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed toward them. In his new book, The Hidden Messages in Water, he describes his findings, that water from clear springs and water that has been exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns. In contrast, polluted water, or water exposed to negative thoughts, forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors.

    A recent documentary called What The Bleep Do We Know? explores this issue, presenting extensive interviews with prominent physicists and thinkers.

    In some mysterious way, on a quantum level, sub-atomic particles sense that they are being observed, and they are affected by the observer.

    As the physicist John Wheeler explains: “Nothing is more important about the quantum principle than this, that it destroys the concept of the world as ‘sitting out there,’ with the observer safely separated from it by a 20-centimeter slab of plate glass. Even to observe so minuscule an object as an electron, he must shatter the glass. He must reach in. He must install his chosen measuring equipment. It is up to him to decide whether he shall measure position or momentum. To install the equipment to measure the one prevents and excludes his installing the equipment to measure the other. Moreover, the measurement changes the state of the electron. The universe will never afterward be the same. To describe what has happened, one has to cross out that old word ‘observer’ and put in its place the new word ‘participator.’ In some strange sense, the universe is a participatory universe.”

    What’s fascinating about this is not the actual concept.

    Mystics have always understood the universe as a participatory one. Indeed, the opening verses of the Bible make it very clear that the human being created in the Divine Image has the power—and the responsibility—to shape and transform the universe.

    The amazing thing is that this so-called mystical idea—which seems so counter-intuitive to linear logic—is being recognized by science as an empirical fact. This only reinforces the mystical teachings (namely in the Zohar) that at the dawn of Messianic times there will be an explosion of wisdom – both above and below, Divine wisdom as well as scientific wisdom. And a wisdom that will reflect the utter unity between matter and spirit.

    So now, are we wired to be happy or to be sad? Or do we control our wiring?

    No doubt that many people seem to have a despondent predisposition, and others a cheerful one. Add into the equation the hurt and deprivation many have suffered in their childhoods it can almost appear impossible to overcome the dysfunctionality wired into our psyches. And any attempt to change things would seem futile.

    All that is true, if we are bound to our wiring, like a computer dependent on its circuitry. However, we are not mere machines. We have the power to rewire ourselves, and to reshape even a daunting reality. Besides the fact that many of our demons are our own self-destructive illusions, even the ones that have some objective reality are also in our control.

    Someone once came to the Tzemech Tzedek imploring that he pray on behalf of a certain individual who was seriously ill. The Tzemech Tzedek replied: “Tracht gut vet zayn gut,” think good and it will be good. Positive thinking can actually change the situation for the better.

    Once upon a time this could have been taken as a religious statement, driven primarily by faith. Today it is becoming scientific fact that our thoughts define our realities.

    As one great master once said: Some people think “why am I so sad because things aren’t working in my life.” The truth is that things aren’t working because you are so sad. People often believe that they are not happy because they have no joy in their lives. The truth is the other way around: By being joyous you become happy.

    Which comes to explain the ultimate question: Will this world ever change and actually realize the purpose of its being – a world filled with virtue and love, with no more injustice and pain?

    It almost seems like an impossible dream. When we witness the selfishness around and within us – with some researchers arguing that “the average human being is about 95 percent selfish in the narrow sense of the term” – you have to wonder how human inclinations will ever change? Of course, Divine intervention can achieve anything. However, we are told to not depend on miracles. How will things change naturally?

    Robert H. Frank wrote in a recent article in the New York Times (Business, February 17), that we are influenced by our own theories. Our personal attitudes and beliefs about selfishness and giving directly impact and define our own behavior.

    He cites an experimental study of private contributions to a common project, which “found that first-year graduate students in economics contributed an average of less than half the amount contributed by students from other disciplines.”

    “Other studies have found that repeated exposure to the self-interest model makes selfish behavior more likely. In one experiment, for example, the cooperation rates of economics majors fell short of those of nonmajors, and the difference grew the longer the students had been in their respective majors.”

    Frank concludes, that what is particularly troubling is that “the narrow self-interest model, which encourages us to expect the worst in others, often brings out the worst in us as well.”

    Everyone is affected by the attitudes and expectations of those around us, and ultimately by the expectations we have of ourselves. If you have been inundated with a message that you are a lowly creature, or that we are all not much more than selfish beasts, especially if this position helped shaped you in your formative years, inevitably your “script” has been written.

    I’ll never forger my shock when I heard for the first time someone tell me, in response to my question what he looks forward to in life, “I would be happy if I just did not get hurt in life. When a day passes and I come out intact, I breathe a sigh of relief and feel accomplished.” This individual was hurt so many times, that his threshold for “normal” and his expectation for happiness was: No damage.

    Well, the good news is that within the disease lies the cure: Our attitudes and beliefs have the power to rewire ourselves and the universe—to higher the standard that we expect of ourselves.

    We are not doomed and we are not static. Each of us has a vibrant spirit, and with will power, persistence and good support, we can unplug, refire and rewire our systems.

    We have the power to not relegate our lives to watching others watch others watch others watching us – in one vicious cycle of “the blind leading the blind” spiraling downward, with producers accusing consumers of lowering the standards and vice versa; punctuated by the prerequisite hand-wringing “oh my, look how things have deteriorated,” with everyone winking at each other while scowling at Janet Jackson. How often do we hear producers arguing that the low standard of TV broadcasting is due to the demand of the consumers, and the consumers arguing, that “we watch what they show us,” and advertisers salivating either way as long as they get their product planted into our hearts.

    Yes, we have the power to rewire ourselves—to rewire the very consciousness of existence.

    The world will change when we change our attitudes. Expect more of yourself and you will become more. Expect more of others and they will become more.

    All it takes are a few individuals who will stand up to the prevalent status quo. Instead of going with the flow and following the current, they will be truly “independent” and lift the expectations that we have of each other to its deserved place: That we live up to the Divine image within ourselves.

    All it takes is you and I and a few other individuals. If ten of us can do, ten thousand can. If then thousand can, ten million can. After all, the six billion of us are merely six billion individuals like you and me.

  • How to Rise to the Occasion

    How to Rise to the Occasion

    Do you underestimate your strengths and capabilities? How often are you truly able to handle a situation even when you ostensibly claim that it’s too much for you? Are you undermining your own potential success? “Conventional wisdom” today often programs us into fatalistic thinking that we are either cut out or not cut out to achieve certain things. While that may be true regarding particular skills and strengths (for example, some of us have nicer voices than others), more often than not we simply avoid from challenges that we can perfectly face due to our own falsely perceived limitations. Let us learn how to rise to the occasion instead.

    Define the Enemy

    The secret to access inner strength and resolve is by looking at our own doubts and procrastination as an “enemy.” Define the enemy and then gather all your inner strengths to go into battle. Allow your enemy to empower you. When the challenge seems particularly formidable, act counter-intuitively: Instead of retreating, obstinately commit to taking on the challenge with supra-rational tenacity. Relish the obstacle and make an active decision to do whatever it takes to move forward in fulfilling your mission to refine your corner of the world. Embrace what you believe in and don’t allow anything to stop you from living up to it.

    Where Your Strength Comes From

    The way to triumph in this battle is to muster the deepest resources of the soul – the enormous, unwavering power of your soul’s natural confident nature – which emerges only in the face of adversity. Rooted in the core of the soul (beyond all other revealed faculties), is sheer determination – total and absolute commitment to forge ahead despite any challenge, unknown issue, or doubt.

    The energy of your soul’s natural resolute and triumphant nature comes from a deep-rooted belief and connection to who you are and what you need to accomplish; you access this power precisely when you are under assault. When you fight for your values, to live a virtuous life in a corrupt world, when you stand up firmly for justice and morality, when you combat selfishness, your own or others’, your conviction evokes the deepest spiritual resources. As demonstrated with the example of an actual war: When a leader is threatened and goes to battle, the drive to win causes him to unlock his most precious treasures and resources, ones that have never before been seen. The challenges of life, thus, become catalysts that ignite your deepest strengths. The greater the adversary and resistance, the more powerful are the forces of certainty you awaken and the more determined you are to succeed.

    Kick Complacency to the Curb

    Complacency is the root of weak resolve. By contrast, when you feel that your spiritual identity is threatened and you fear betraying your own highest aspirations, this danger stimulates new energies and will power, which draws out the unshakable core of the soul rooted in the unshakable essence of all essences.

    This is the secret of transcendence: the ability to not be defined by the events and circumstances around you; the recognition that you are a product of your own attitudes and perceptions. You, and you alone write the script of your own destiny and control the course of your life. If you worship man-made devices, your life will be defined by these very devices. Connect to the sublime above, and you will be able to rise above the immediate events and move forward with fortitude and optimism.

    If you feel that mortals – or money – control your life, then you have delivered your own verdict: You will be subject to these forces, with all their unpredictability and impermanence. If however, you recognize that the circumstances of your life are driven by a higher hand, and absolutely nothing that humans do can control your destiny, then you have freed yourself from the behavior of others and can ride through the challenges and even discover how they have empowered you.

    Exercise: Look at your current challenges and identify one where you could rise to the occasion. Do it.  Journal about it in MyMLC.


    Go deeper into this subject: Sheer Determination | 2009 | Why You Should Never Say, “Why Me?” | How to Access Your Inner Genius | Why It Is Good That Life Is a Struggle |


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  • How Much Does Your Lineage Matter?

    How Much Does Your Lineage Matter?

    Is there such a thing as objective elitism or is it only an illusion of the elite? Are all people equal or are some more equal than others? Is enlightenment exclusive only to a select few?

    This week’s Torah portion – and a recent ride in the subway – provide some interesting insights.

    Isn’t it fascinating to study the faces of thousands of commuters packed in a subway? Their blank stares—an art we have mastered in our mass consumer culture—hide their thoughts and feelings. One person is playing a videogame; another is exercising control by releasing his rage at new passengers forcing their way through the doors (a form of “road rage,” or in this case: “subway rage”).

    What are the ultimate aspirations of all these people? (Are they thinking the same thing about me?). Are they being manipulated by the few people with power and wealth?

    This innocuous experience became a catalyst for the following thoughts on the role of the masses in the world in which we live—a theme touched upon in the opening of this week’s Torah reading.

    *****

    One of the themes in this week’s Torah portion is yichus.

    You don’t know what yichus is? Let me tell you. Yichus is what Tevye the milkman could have complained about to G-d. As in:

    “Dear G-d, you made many, many poor people. I realize, of course, that it’s no shame to be poor. But it’s no great honor either! So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?” Tevye could have added: “Ok, so if you didn’t bless me with wealth, why didn’t you at least give me yichus?”

    Literally, yichus means lineage, distinguished birth, pedigree. But it means much more in Yiddish culture, as a proud Yiddishe grandmother exclaiming at the wedding of her grandchild: “oy! You should see how handsome is the choson of my einekel (the groom of my granddaughter)! And yichus—gevald, such yichus; don’t ask…”

    Or when someone proposes a shidduch (match), and the question is asked: “And what about her yichus?”… “Is she tall?” to which the matchmaker replies: “She has money.” “Is she beautiful?” “She has yichus.”

    You get the idea.

    Yichus is that intangible which many people value for no other reason than image, often used to evaluate the merit of a potential matrimonial candidate. Yet, on a serious note, yichus also demonstrates “good blood,” cherished genes.

    But what exactly is this yichus thing. On one hand, the Torah values yichus. At the same time, the controversy remains how much significance should yichus bear when we live in a world where some of the most unrefined people have great yichus and some the most refined people may not have the greatest yichus. After all, even Abraham was not blessed with great yichus.

    This week’s Torah portion can help us unravel the yichus dilemma.

    The great Torah commentator Rashi explains why the verse emphasizes the lineage of Pinchas in the opening of this week’s portion:

    “Because the tribes would humiliate Pinchas by saying that he stems (on his mother’s side) from an idol worshiper and he murdered a Jewish leader. The verse therefore comes to establish his yichus (on his father’s side) to Aaron the High Priest, brother of Moses.”

    However this Rashi requires explanation. Is yichus a game of “eenie meenie mini moe”—randomly choosing the positive pedigree? Either or: If Pinchas’ lineage stemmed from an idol worshipper (as the tribes argued), how does it help us to emphasize that Pinchas also had good genes?

    Rashi teaches us the dual nature of yichus. As one humble grandson of a great Rebbe once told me, in response to my asking him why he doesn’t live up to his great yichus:

    “I heard from my father that yichus is like a bunch of zeroes.  If they follow a number then each 0 multiplies the number by ten. If no number precedes them, a bunch of 0’s add up to one big zero.”

    In other words yichus does not compensate for one’s deficiencies. Great yichus without one’s own virtues and efforts can be quite empty.

    True, that good lineage can often “carry” or “redeem” a person in difficult situations – hence the concept of “zechut avot,” the merit of our ancestors, which is never eradicated – yet, that merit is a blessing from above. We on our part cannot simply depend on yichus; we must do our part in living up to our lineage.

    Like Pinchas, each of us has two sides. We have great lineage traced directly to our ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.  Yet, we also have other “blood.” It is our choice to determine which one will control our lives; what direction our actions will take.

    Free will remains the unwavering foundation of life. Nothing—neither good nor bad pedigree—impedes our free choice. True, yichus can help a person, just as other personality traits may create more conducive conditions; but we all have our strengths and our challenges to overcome.

    After all, a person may have excellent yichus, even have grown up in a home that provided a strong education, yet still make terrible choices that hardly reflect his yichus. Conversely there are those that have reached great spiritual heights through their efforts, without any obvious and immediate positive pedigree.

    Because, every person has great yichus, even if it may stem from many generations back; and every person has unique challenges.

    So though it was true, as the tribes claimed, that Pinchas descended from an idol worshipper, yet through his selfless and courageous actions in taking the initiative, Pinchas earned his right to be identified with his distinguished grandfather Aaron the High Priest.

    The mistake of the tribes was the sin of elitism: They felt that lineage alone determines one’s destiny. Pinchas, originating from a pagan was doomed to an inferior position, regardless of his behavior; Zimri, leader of the Tribe of Shimeon, was blessed with leadership, regardless of his disgusting actions.

    The Torah tells us that it does not work that way. Take the great Moses: Notwithstanding their great pedigree, it was not Moses’ children but Joshua who succeeded him.

    Which really brings us to the topic of elitism. The debate continues to rage whether all people are actually equal, or are some more equal than others. The argument goes that the “masses are…,” most people are followers, interested primarily in their own survival and pleasures, and are in need of the few gifted individuals that are blessed with the vision and wisdom of leadership (“yodei makirei” in the language of Tanya).

    Even America, which cherishes the freedom of the individual and declares, “all men are created equal,” established the Electoral College, feeling that individuals would be too partisan and limited to directly elect the President. Instead, Electors, who are the most knowledgeable and informed individuals from each State, represent the general population and they select the president based solely on merit and without regard to State of origin or political party.

    Throughout history this debate has manifested itself in many shapes and forms.

    In the 60’s there was a debate amongst two enlightened individuals, whether a certain substance that induced a psychedelic state should be distributed to the masses or is it just for the elite, who will appreciate and not abuse it.

    Monarchs and clergy through the centuries claimed that they were blessed with being chosen by G-d to lead—that they were more equal than others.

    Even Maimonides wonders (introduction to the Mishne) what is the role of the masses who pursue their personal comforts and pleasures instead of an enlightened life of wisdom and virtue—the purpose for which man was created, but remains the path of the few. Maimonides goes on to explain that the role of the masses is to repair and civilize the world and thus serve the few enlightened people of wisdom and virtue, and to also serve as their company so the world not be desolate. Yet, clearly this is not the end of the discussion, especially taking into consideration that every human being has a Divine calling in the world.

    Some argue that this was also the dispute (l’havdil) between the Chassidim and the Misnagdim back when Chassidus was first introduced by the Baal Shem Tov. The non-Chassidic leaders felt that mysticism was to be studied only by the elite few. Whereas the Chassidic masters felt that it is relevant and should be taught to the masses, to all people.

    This debate around elitism has never been completely resolved. This week’s Pinchas story can help resolve the question by illuminating for us the delicate balance between the sanctity of the individual, the recognition of the limitations of the masses and the necessity for responsible leadership.

    The first thing we must know is that every person was created in the Divine image, and thus has a unique and indispensable role to play. Even if one is not the “enlightened type,” his or her Divine contribution can manifest itself in other ways. All people are expected to live up to their destiny—to the utmost of their ability and opportunity—to live a life of wisdom and virtue.

    In addition, each of us has been blessed with a powerful heritage and excellent pedigree. [Even if one cannot trace a lineage to special ancestors, Maimonides writes to Ovadiah the Ger, that his lineage goes directly to G-d, far superior to a lineage that stems from human beings, even great ones].

    At the same time, we also face the challenges of survival, and the inclination to protect our own immediate interests—laced with narcissism and self-preservation, with the temptation to overlook our higher calling.

    While it may be true that some people lean more toward the former and others toward the latter, yet all of us have elements of both: Enlightened leaders can be often quite selfish, and the simple masses can be often quite noble.

    Indeed, the paradox is apparent in the following verse in Jeremiah regarding the Messianic age:

    “I shall put my teaching in their inward parts and write it in their heart…They shall no longer teach one another… saying ‘know G-d,’ for they shall all know Me—from the least of them to the greatest of them” (Jeremiah 31:32-33).

    If  “they shall no longer teach one another… for they shall all know me” why does the verse say that there will be a distinction between “the least of them” (“ketanom”) and the “greatest of them” (“gedolom”)? Because diversity will remain, there will be both young and old, smaller and greater, yet each will know Me; G-d’s Essence will permeate each according to his/her level.

    We see here both elements: Equality yet distinction.

    Given, that we are not yet in Messianic times and we still are challenged by our own narcissism, hence, a greater need for leadership today. However, individual responsibility—and human diversity—is still part of pour present reality.

    So, despite the dual forces tugging at us in two opposite directions, the most important message of all is this:

    The choice is yours.

  • Beyond Structure

    Beyond Structure

    We must believe in free will; we have no choice – an old saying

    Is the universe indeterministic or deterministic? Random or designed? Are our lives predestined or not?

    At first glance, one would assume that the answer to these questions is dependent on belief in G-d. Acceptance of G-d as Creator of the universe would seem to imply that the universe was created with design and purpose. If however, one does not accept that premise, than existence could very well be a result of a random set of circumstances, with no particular plan and direction.

    Religion too would appear to be predicated on a clearly defined and even absolute structure: Immutable laws that define and regulate human behavior. By contrast, many secular schools of thought embrace a more relativistic approach, e.g. moral relativism, which rejects rigid guidelines.

    Yet, upon further thought the lines are not that clearly drawn; both approaches overlap. Even according to the circumstantial argument, the universe is clearly driven by an extraordinary inflexible order. From the physiological to the cosmological, we live in a world of fundamental systems ruled by defined and unwavering laws (the so called “laws of nature”). Conversely, belief in G-d and religion dictates the concept of free will, that our choices are not predestined, allowing for surprises and an unexpected future.

    Indeed, a strong argument could be made that a world controlled by “natural law” is airtight with no room for spontaneity. As French philosopher Laplace and others have written in advancing the probability theory, if we were to know all the data about any phenomenon we could accurately predict all the events that were yet to come. Since we live in a causal world, defined by cause and effect, there is no room for true randomness. In other words, randomness and probabilities are not an objectively measurable phenomenon but rather just a measure of our lack of knowledge. A coin toss, for example, is not necessarily characterized by randomness: if we knew the shape and weight of the coin, the strength of the tosser, the atmospheric conditions of the room in which the coin is tossed, the distance of the coin-tosser’s hand from the ground, etc., we could predict with certainty whether it would be heads or tails. However, as this information is not available to us, it is convenient to assume it is a random event and ascribe probabilities to heads or tails.

    Yet, paradoxically there are those that use this same scientific approach to see all of existence as random. It would seem logical that thinkers who leave no room for randomness in existence should also embrace the fact that existence itself was put in place by a Grand Designer…

    Ironically, a G-d based approach to life allows for indeterminism based on free will more than a scientific approach does.

    So how do we make sense of these contradictory approaches? What part of our lives is predetermined and what part is determined by our choices?

    The question most relevant to us, of course, is whether we are victims of circumstances or whether we can control the destiny of our lives.

    Purim provides us with the fascinating answer. Purim – the name of the holiday – is so called because Haman cast lots to determine the date to kill the Jews. “Pur” in Persian means “lot.”

    Strange name to call a holiday: Lots. Is there anything more random than a lottery? Why would we give such a name to a holiday that commemorates the salvation of an entire people from genocide?

    It is because Purim teaches us a radical message. Not order but indeterminism is the essence of existence. G-d, Creator of the cosmic order and of all rules of nature, is not bound by these or any laws and structures. On His essential level, G-d transcends any form of structure and definition. Yet, this same G-d and His inherent indeterminism chose to create and manifest in a highly deterministic universe. Indeterminism chose a very determined set of laws. The essence of G-d is beyond determinism and indeterminism, and therefore can combine both.

    There is randomness and there is randomness. There is a randomness that is beneath structure and laws – when things get out of control and result in an arbitrary type of existence, directionless. This is what we call being a victim of circumstances – circumstances have taken control of your life and you are left lost and aimless. But then there is a randomness that comes from a “place” that is not bound by laws, a place that transcends and is beyond structures.

    The structure of existence, the mystics tell us, originates from the Essence of Reality that is beyond any structure. Sometimes our own structures block us from seeing that essence. Our plans, schedules, organized systems can get in the way of experiencing the core. Our challenge is to discover the transcendent within the systems.

    Purim embodies this power. Purim reaches a place that is “beyond our structured perception” (“ad d’lo yoda”). Logic and the rules of existence should have dictated a tragic end for the Jews in Persia. After all Haman was in power and he had persuaded the King Achashveirosh to annihilate the Jewish people. Yet, it doesn’t work out that way. Despite all odds, defying all logic, the tables are turned and instead of tragedy the day becomes one of great celebration, with Haman hung on the gallows he built for Mordechai. Suddenly, unexpected, darkness is transformed to light.

    Purim is the true story of life – as it is behind the scenes. Not man-made plans but a Divine hand is at work. Amidst the seemingly random events of life, underlying forces are the true shapers of destiny.

    The same Purim force has been working throughout history. Many great nations have come and gone. They had great plans, powerful armies, super wealthy coffers, breathtaking culture – each empire in its heyday thought that it had it made. Yet, not one has survived. Not the Egyptians, not the Assyrians, not the Babylonians, not the Persians, not the Greeks, not the Romans, not the Byzantines, not the Spanish, not the Portuguese. What happened with all their structures, systems and plans for permanent world dominance? Man-made mortal plans can only create mortal, impermanent structures. Survival, eternal survival is dependent on a force that originates from a place that is beyond logic, beyond the odds, beyond defined structures.

    The consequences of this idea are far reaching. No matter how your life has been shaped, no matter how you may have been scarred by parents, peers and social attitudes, no matter what experiences have defined you – you are never a victim of circumstances; you always have a window to a place that defies structures. With all the determinism of life, with all its causes and effects, there is no conclusive, airtight determinism that controls your life. You always have an opening to an indeterministic place that opens you up to new possibilities.

    Purim tells us that it is not our logic and plans that runs the world. It is a higher force that may manifest in random experiences, but within the randomness lies the greatest power of all.

    Yes, we live in a world of structure. Yes, we are bound by its rules. But, at the same time when we learn to navigate we can use the structure to transcend structure. We must do everything we can within the laws of nature, within our parameters. Yet, simultaneously we must remember that the essence within is beyond our plans. When we do everything in our natural power, the deeper essence emerges.

    That’s what Purim is all about: Take your structures, take your defined reality and turn it inside out and upside down, and see new things emerge.

    Your life is dark, truly dark. Purim teaches us that in one moment darkness can be transformed to light.

    You feel limited, locked. Purim opens up new opportunities.

    You feel hopeless. Purim suddenly give you hope.

    You have a great life, but you wonder how high can you reach? Can we mortals touch the sky? Can we achieve immortality, create eternity? Purim tells us we can.

    All this – because within the inflexible structure lies a fundamental indeterministic freedom, that is not bound by any structures, laws and definitions.

    This paradox has now become recognized in modern physics. According to quantum mechanics a fundamental indeterminism exists on the microscopic level. On that level entities don’t have shape or form, they are in a “state of probability,” with the potential to go different ways. This probability or uncertainty is not a result of lack of knowledge, but it has been proven to be an inherent probability.

    What makes this even more fascinating and strange is the fact that, while the basic, subatomic structure that comprises all of existence is fundamentally indeterministic, simultaneously macroscopic existence is fundamentally structured and deterministic! How is it possible that an indeterministic core should produce such deterministic results? A key component, for instance, of computer chips is driven by the uncertainty principle of subatomic indeterminism. Yet, the computer chip produces absolutely deterministic results that we depend on daily.

    Where do the two worlds of determinism and indeterminism meet? Science has yet to find out.

    What science does not yet know, Purim has always known.

    So where does indeterminism meet determinism? At your doorstep. And on Purim the door opens between these two realities.

  • Vayeitzei: Marriage: Destiny or Chance?

    Vayeitzei: Marriage: Destiny or Chance?

    Who is the Ultimate Matchmaker?

    Is marriage predestined or dependent on your efforts?

    On one hand, we hear of the idea that a person’s spouse is bashert, meaning preordained by the guiding hand of G-d. But this belief raises many questions. Does everyone have a bashert? If yes, why is it so difficult to find one’s mate, and why do many never succeed? Is bashert an inevitable absolute, or are there exceptions? We also hear about the need to exert efforts (hishtadlut) in finding a soul mate: If a match is predetermined by Divine decree, to what extent a role does human effort and decision making play in the process?

    Who is the ultimate matchmaker – G-d or man?

    Marriage is a primary theme in the current Torah portions. First – Isaac’s marriage, described in elaborate detail, how Abraham sent his servant to find a bride for Isaac, concluding with Rebecca meeting and marrying Isaac. Then, last week’s portion, which closes with Isaac and Rebecca instructing Jacob to go search for his bride. And this week’s portion elaborates on Jacob’s journey, search and painstaking process of discovering his soul mate, and finally building his family in Charan.

    From these episodes we derive many important lessons about love and marriage – relevant today more than ever.

    One of the lessons discussions revolves around the nature of love and the mystery of matching couples.

    In context of Jacob leaving Beersheba (the opening of this week’s portion) in order to find a wife – the Midrash states (1): “A person’s marriage partner originates from no one else but G-d,” and cites sources in all three section of Tanach. “Sometimes a man goes to his designated mate (as it was with Jacob); sometimes his designated mate comes to him (as it was with Isaac).”

    The Midrash then continues (2):

    Rabbi Yehudah bar Simon opened [with the verse] “G-d sets the solitary into a family” (3).

    A Roman matron asked Rabbi Yosei bar Chalafta: “In how many days did G-d create His world?”

    “In six days,” he replied.

    “And what has He been doing ever since?” she asked.

    “G-d sits and matches couples,” Rabbi Yosei told her.

    “Is this G-d’s occupation?” she asked derisively, “I could do that too! I possess a great number of men servants and maid servants and would be able to pair all of them off in one hour!”

    “You may think it is easy, but for G-d, it is as difficult as parting the Red Sea,” he said.

    “You may think it is easy, but for G-d, it is as difficult as parting the Red Sea,” he said

    After Rabbi Yosei left, the matron formed rows of her men servants and maid servants, a thousand in each row, and said to them, “This man shall marry this woman,” pairing them off as she walked down the line for the night.

    But when they returned to work the next morning, one had an injured head, one was missing an eye and one had a broken foot.

    “What is going on here?” the matron asked.

    “I don’t want this one [for a partner],” they all said. She saying “I will not take him,” he saying “I will not take her.”

    She sent for Rabbi Yosei and told him, “There is no G-d like your G-d. When you explained to me that G-d is busy making matches, you spoke wisely.”

    The Talmud echoes this belief by stating that before a person is born G-d designates his and her mate: “A heavenly voice emerges and calls out ‘this woman to this man.’”

    On the other hand, the Talmud states that “a man and woman are paired to each other based on their merits” (4).

    How do we reconcile these two positions: Is marriage designated by Divine decree or is it based on a person’s deeds and merits? Two answers are offered: One particular Talmud explains that the “first pairing” is by divine decree while the “second pairing” is based on a person’s merits (5). And this is why “their pairing is difficult like the parting of the sea,” because a match based on merits requires special effort to unite two people who were initially not naturally compatible (6). Another Talmud suggests a different answer: Though a natural match is initially made in heaven, human intervention – prayer – can override and change the Divine decree (even regarding the “first pairing”). Thus, “It is permitted to betroth a woman on Chol Hamoed because perhaps someone else will take her before him” due to his prayer’s overriding the divine decree (7).

    However, these Talmudic statements require explanation. Indeed, opinions differ in the meaning of our Sages’ approach to the matchmaking process. Even the phrase “first pairing” and “second pairing” is subject to several interpretations: Does it mean first and second marriage, or as others argue, “first pairing” is the Divine pre-ordained match and “second pairing” is the one determined by merits.

    Here is a summary of the various perspectives and opinions how much human intervention plays a role in match making, ranging from one extreme to the next. (8)

    1)      The Divine decree pre-designates who will marry whom. Human prayer and merit can only help expedite and ease the process (and another’s prayer can delay it for a while). (9) When the time to marry arrives, the soul mates will meet without undue strain or difficulty.

    2)      Prayer can nullify the edict entirely, and the person will find a new soul mate (one that was not decreed before birth). (10)

    3)      Every one has the free will whether to marry or not, but once the choice is made to marry, the mate will be the one designated in heaven (through supplications for mercy, another person may marry her first, but their marriage will be temporary). (11)

    4)      The Heavenly voice is not a decree, but merely reflects the soulmates natural compatibility. Their inherent nature predisposes them – and makes it easier – to choose each other. But they do so out of free choice; they are guided by G-d to meet each other based on their merits, not by pre-ordained decree. (12)

    All marriages are dependent on a person’s deeds.

    5)      All marriages are dependent on a person’s deeds. The Divine voice refers to the power to unite matter and form, the soul and the body. (13)

    6)      According (14) to the writings of the AriZal (15), the first time a soul descends to the world, “a Heavenly voice emerges and decrees: “The daughter of so-and-so for so-and-so.” When the time for marriage arrives, the opportunity is immediately granted without strain or difficulty. [Until that time, it is possible that she will be the wife of another man, as was the case with Uriah and Batsheva (16)]. Sometimes, however, one does not merit and fails to marry his intended. [In that instance, another who does not have a mate designated for him may supersede him through his appeals for mercy (17)]. Nevertheless, he is granted a spouse appropriate to his deeds.

    At times, the soul will undergo a transformation (from bad to good or the opposite) and will forfeit the intended mate and marry another spouse, for he is no longer the same soul. At times, the soul will reincarnate so that he can marry his intended. At times, he will reincarnate for other reasons, but because he possesses many merits, his intended is also made to reincarnate with him. Nevertheless, since he sinned and was forced to reincarnate, there are forces that oppose him and prevent him from bringing about that marriage. This is implied by the statement: “Bringing [marriage partners] together is as difficult as parting the Red Sea” (18).

    If a person’s intended does not reincarnate, he is coupled with a female reincarnated soul that also does not have a partner in this incarnation. Therefore it is very difficult to bring them together since they have a different nature (19). The woman must, however, be compatible with him at their source (20). There are some opinions which maintain that if the intended is not forced to reincarnate, the man takes a wife according to his efforts (21).

    So, are matches made in heaven or on earth? The answer is both. Like everything in life, we are partners with G-d in creation. The Divine sends each soul off on its’ unique journey through life, and designates which soul belong with another. But we humans, through our choices and actions, can change the course for the better (and also, sadly, for the worse).

    G-d created His world in six days. “And what has He been doing ever since? G-d sits and matches couples.” Couples both in the literal sense: creating partners in marriage, and also couples in the broader sense: creating fusion and unity in a pluralistic, fragmented, universe.

    Today we do not need to be reminded how difficult it is to create and maintain healthy marriages. Some feel that it is even more difficult than parting the sea. Yet, we have in Jacob’s hard earned search for a spouse a formidable lesson in overcoming the challenge of building lasting relationships

    History is the best teacher: Despite Jacob’s harsh challenges – laboring twenty years (!) for his corrupt and cruel uncle and father-in-law, Laban; “by day I was consumed by the scorching heat, and at night by the frost, when sleep was snatched from my eyes” (22) – Jacob succeeded in building the best family that ever existed: The twelve tribes which would give birth to the Jewish nation, and perpetuate the most noble civilization that would forever change history, till this very day!

    Jacob’s journey, directed by G-d, to find his wife and build a family teaches, inspires and empowers each of us in our own journey to find our soul mate. As difficult as your search for a soulmate may be, know and know well that G-d’s primary involvement is in “making matches.” And just as He orchestrated and guided Jacob (and earlier, Isaac and Rebecca’s marriage) and the millions of marriages that followed – without which we would not exist today – G-d continues to busy Himself with making matches today.

    But G-d’s efforts require our partnership. Through our virtue and prayer, by being better people, we engage G-d in the mysterious – and arduous – process of joining souls together, in one beautiful dance that ripples through the cosmos and transforms the world and all those around us.

    ——–
    1) Bereishis Rabba 68:3.
    2) 68:4. For an eloquent explanation of this Midrash – see Sefer HaLikkutim (Arizal) in this week’s portion.
    3) Pslams 68:7.
    4) Sotah 2a.
    5) Sotah ibid. Sanhedrin 22a.
    6) Rashi Sotah ibid. Sefer HaLikkutim ibid.
    7) Moed Kattan 18b.
    8) The following is adapted from the Rebbe’s letter 23 Shvat 5707 (Igros Kodesh vol. 2 pp. 193). Here is an English translation.
    9) See Sefer Chassidim sec. 383.
    10) Rashi’s commentary to Rabbeinu Yitzchak Alfasi’s gloss to Moed Katan ibid. This is evident from the fact that he does not explicitly state that the nullification is only temporary. This is also reflected by the statement of Tosafos, Sanhedrin 22a, who draw a parallel to prayer that has the power to transform a fetus from a male to a female. It is also apparent that this is the approach of the Tzemach Tzedek in his Chiddushim to the Talmud, Moed Katan.
    11) Tashbetz, Vol. II, responsum 1.
    12) Rambam, ch. 8, of his Shemoneh Perakim. See also his responsa, responsum 159.
    13) Akeidah, Shaar 8 and Shaar 22.
    14) Translated from the letter in the previous footnote.
    15) A portion of them are cited by the Yaavetz in his gloss to Sotah 2a.
    16) Zohar I, 73b.
    17) Zohar I, 91b, 229a, quoted in Midrash Talpios, anaf zivug.
    18) Shaar HaGilgulim, Hakdamah 8 and Hakdamah 20; Sefer HaGilgulim, ch. 13; Likkutei Torah and Sefer HaLikkutim, Tehillim, ch. 48.
    19) Sefer HaLikkutim in footnote 5. This is the meaning that “G-d sits and makes matches:” G-d “sitting” is a metaphor for the Divine “descent,” a “difficult” process, to create matches even amongst (initially) incompatible individuals, using the tools of nature, without disrupting the natural balance of existence.
    20) Sefer HaGilgulim, loc. cit.
    21) The gloss of B’nei Aharon to Shaar HaGilgulim, Hakdamah 8, in the name of the elder Rabbis who cited the teaching in the name of the AriZal.
    22) This week’s portion – Genesis 31:40.

  • Vayigash: WYSINWYG

    Vayigash: WYSINWYG

    The Story Behind the Story

    WYSINWYG??!! Is that a typo? No it’s not. Read on.

    Take this quick questionnaire:

    Do you think you know where your life is headed?

    Do you feel that your losses and disappointments in life give you good reason to be resigned?

    Do you feel that the hurt in your life has dampened (or killed) your trust and hope in a brighter future?

    Do you feel your childhood scars have left you for damaged goods?

    Does fear and insecurity drive many of your decisions?

    Do you feel that you will never find true love in your life?

    If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this week’s Torah portion has an indispensable lesson for you that can change your entire perspective on your life. In truth, the lesson is equally relevant even if you answered no to these questions.

    Item: A 17 year old boy is sold into slavery by his brothers.

    Item: 13 years later he rises from slavery and prison to become viceroy of Egypt.

    Item: Some 7 years later he turns Egypt into a superpower.

    Item: 22 years from the time he was sold, he controls the destiny of his brothers and father, and for that matter, of the entire populated world!

    From the brink of disaster Joseph emerges a king:

    “From out of prison he comes to reign, for even in his kingdom he was born poor.” (Ecclesiastes 4:14)

    From a tragedy of epic proportions salvation is born. Joseph being sold into slavery ends up saving lives – as Joseph tells his brothers: You sold me to Egypt. But don’t worry or feel guilty…for G-d has sent me ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the area… G-d sent me ahead of you to insure that you survive in the land and to sustain you through great deliverance. It is not you who sent me here, but G-d. He has made me Pharaoh’s vizier, master of his entire government and ruler of all Egypt.

    Not only this, but Joseph’s descent into the abyss lead Jacob and his entire family to Egypt (see Midrash Tanchuma Vayeishev 4. Midrash Rabbah, Bereishit 86:1. Cited and discussed in a previous article) where their children would be enslaved, then freed in the Exodus, only to receive the Torah at Sinai, followed by their journey into the Promised Land, building of the Holy Temples and all the rest of history.

    Essentially, Joseph’s initial tragedy was the catalyst that brought the birth of the Jewish people, the giving of the Torah – and all that follows Sinai: the birth of civilization as we know it today, which is based on the principles of the Ten Commandments and the Bible in general (as scholars have noted, see here and here), and ultimately the transformation of the entire universe in the days of Moshiach.

    Who would have thought? Who would have known? When Joseph was brutally attacked by his brothers and almost killed, then sold to the Ishmaelite nomads — who would have thought that it would lead to such great events? Who would have known that it would change the world forever for the better?

    The lesson for us is both simple and profound: You and I do not know the script of our lives. Sometimes what appears as bad news for the moment (or more than a moment) can turn into the greatest blessing. And sometimes it’s the other way around.

    How many opportunities have we missed in our lives because we are still salving basking in (licking) the wounds of our past loss or disappointment?

    I recall an e-mail that was circulating a while ago. It went like this:

    TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS.

    Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

    Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.

    Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.

    Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

    Candidate A – Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He’s had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

    Candidate B – He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

    Candidate C – He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

    Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.

    Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

    And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

    Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before jumping to conclusions.

    Never be convinced that we know the destiny of events. Remember: Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

    In the same spirit, here’s an excerpt from an off-line blog I wrote in the pre-blog era.

    THE OJ FACTOR

    Sometimes When You Win You Lose

    They call it the OJ factor. That is: OJ as in OJ Simpson. Remember him? He clearly murdered his wife, yet he won his case and was acquitted on technicalities. Remember the jury jingle: “If the glove don’t fit, you gotta acquit.” Wonder why they didn’t turn it into a rap song…

    He won, but… he lost. He isn’t sitting in a physical prison, yet he is locked in a psychological jail. A social pariah, OJ will never be trusted. He can play as many tennis games as he likes, but everyone knows that he is a cold-blooded murderer.

    I haven’t followed his daily schedule. I don’t have a desire to. But I do not envy his haunted life. Wherever he goes, whomever he meets, every interaction must be affected by his ‘innocent’ guilt (or is it ‘guilty’ innocence). Perhaps that is what the Talmud means when it says that the wicked “even when they are alive they are dead.” The living dead.

    Yes, he won. Legally, technically – and for some that may be all that matters. But… he lost. Big time. What will always be remembered for posterity? What will go down in the annals of history? Not his acquittal; his evasion of justice. How a guilty man got away with murder (literally).

    A similar thing happens to many of us. We dedicate our lives to a just cause. We go through many battles fighting for our cause. And then a tyrant obsessed with conquest and control takes it all away. With his eye on the prize, he forgets about the lives he is trampling on, and is consumed with winning at all costs.

    How many innocent people have suffered on way or another from this type of brutality? How many of us have had to encounter a person who knows how to manipulate the system, does not take no for an answer, fights to the bitter end, with a ‘no prisoners taken’ attitude, with sheer, unrelenting force and intimidation?

    But… Even when it appears that the tyrant has won, in truth he lost. He may not know it yet consciously, thinking that all things will pass, and people will soon come to accept his travesty (as they usually accept everything and anything). But he will always be remembered – and feared – as someone who mugged an innocent family.

    Yes, he may have won. But… he lost.

    I always wondered what lesson we derive from the mockery of justice that we all witnessed just a few years ago in Brentwood, California. I was incensed as were so many others how someone so guilty could get away so clean. And I was ready to chalk it up to yet another ‘no justice in the world’ scenario.

    But today, in retrospect, much can be learned from OJ about winning and losing. Perhaps there is justice after all, yet not always in the way we expect it.

    Maybe that should give us some hope.

    So many of us are consumed with winning. And if we are relentless enough we may even get what we want. We win. Yes, we win, we get what we want, but we may not get what we need.

    What may be even worse is that some people first have to win to even discover that they really lost. They simply could not be humbled with a loss; their egos and self-righteous bravado attitude could not take losing. Their humility will come from victory. They first have to win (win in their eyes that is) to be able to become open and realize the truth, that they really lost.

    Always remember, sometimes when you win you really lose.

    And sometimes when you lose you really win.

    So, next time you feel resigned that all seems is lost, if you are haunted by your scars, wounds and previous disappointments in life, and feel that you don’t have much hope – remember the story of Joseph. A boy at the brink of death, sold into slavery, imprisoned in a depraved land – rises suddenly from the ashes, becomes king, sustains his family and the world, and changes the universe forever…

    Indeed Joseph’s life captures the history of the Jewish people as a whole and of countless individual lives – the story of the moon: Just as it is about to disappear, it is reborn anew. Throughout the millennia the Jewish people faced the abyss time after time, Obituaries were written, and their extinction seemed inevitable. Yet, out of the darkness, unexpected, they experienced renewal.

    History is our witness. But today we don’t need to rely only on past history. We have living witnesses, burning embers, of Holocaust survivors who rebuilt their lives from the ashes of the unprecedented genocide 60-70 years ago. These wretched souls, from destroyed families, are presiding over the great renaissance of Jewish life today – with unprecedented freedom and prosperity.

    Who could have known? Who could have written such a bizarre script?

    Now ask yourself: After hearing the story of Joseph – can any one of us claim that we know the true story of our lives? Can you argue that your life, no matter how much you suffered, offers no hope? Are you going to insists that you have it all figured out, ready to write off new possibilities that you may have not expected?

    How much energy are we expending in fear, insecurity and all our haunted nightmares based on our limited perceptions of our life experiences?

    Even if bad things may have happened to you, you don’t want to perpetuate its effects by living up to your own self-fulfilling doomed prophesy. None of us can afford to.

    To get Jacob and his family to Egypt why did G-d create such a convoluted series of events, pitting brother against brother, causing so much anguish to Joseph, Jacob and all the family?

    Perhaps to teach us the lesson of the mystery of life: Even when things seem all lost, greatness emerges.

    Our responsibility is to take the lesson to heart and see it through.

    Now decode the title of this article:

    WYSINWYG = What you see is never what you get.

  • The Fiasco

    The Fiasco

    The Particle that Became a Wave

    A mentsch tracht un G-t lacht – old Yiddish saying
    (Loose translation: Man plans, G-d laughs)

    Did you ever make a plan that totally didn’t work out as you thought it would? Did you ever host an event and felt that you had all the bases covered only to discover that you just didn’t?

    How did you react to your plan being thwarted? How did you feel when you realized that you’re not in control?

    Last night I had an embarrassing experience that I would sooner forget were it not for the fact that many others shared the same experience with me. So, instead of escaping into denial, I will face it head on with complete accountability.

    Let me put it this way. I planned one thing and G-d had other plans. We planned an evening called Quantum Chanukah, to probe the quantum mysteries of waves and particles, the paradoxical properties of light and energy — all part of our five part series The Sound of Light. Instead, we went off on an entire different journey.

    [aside] What does one do when things don’t go according to your plan? [/aside]

    So what does one do when things don’t go according to your plan, and one that you promised to many others? Initially, I attempted to put things back on course without being disrespectful. Try as I did I was unsuccessful. Frustration then turned into fury. Finally, I decided to just lean back and let go. I took a deep breath, smiled inside and allowed destiny take its course.

    What I heard was a distinguished professor, a Jew, humbly sharing his personal life story. Professor Branover shared with us how he traveled from absolute atheism to absolute faith; from being a member of the Communist youth party to becoming a full-fledged Chabad Chassid. He described the horrors of growing up under Stalin who killed over 40 million of his own people; the relentless war that the Soviet Union fought against Jews. Being completely assimilated, the professor had no idea why he was being targeted as a Jew, though he had reached great heights as a scientist.

    Finally, what touched him most was when he saw Jews, Chassidim, going on with their lives, caring for their families and friends, helping those in need, building underground Jewish networks, relentlessly living Jewish lives with complete disregard of the enemy surrounding them. “Insane, irrational,” he thought, “these Chassidic Jews were living in a reality that was completely different than their surroundings!” A handful of Jews who would not go down, and were determined to fight the great Soviet regime.

    Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn, when he was arrested by the Communists in 1927, refused to cooperate with the authorities. They threatened the Rebbe and then proceeded to beat him. One of his Communist captors was a Jew, who told the Rebbe in Yiddish: “Mir velen aych oislernen,” “we will teach you [who is boss].” The Rebbe replied: “Mir velen zehn ver vemen,” “we will see who [will teach] whom.”

    Prof. Branover shared the deep pride that he and the other Russian Jews felt in realizing that they were fighting a meaningful war – a terrible war, but one that they were convinced they would win. They were making history – they were standing at the front, and every move they mad was infused with profound confidence that we will ultimately show you who will win in the end.

    And then things began easing up in the former Soviet Union. Finally, after over 70 years of the most oppressive rule, the Soviet Union crumbled, and today – many decades later – the Rebbe’s words  “mir velen zehn ver vemen” were fulfilled…

    Prof. Branover stood for over two hours sharing with us a different, higher reality. One that can only be seen through the lens of oppression, when your innermost beliefs are challenged and must therefore become crystallized.

    As I listened to him I realized that this was his quantum state of consciousness – now just as it was back when he was struggling in the former Soviet Union.

    [aside] Sometimes you think you’re looking for one thing, and when you let go, you actually discover something more important. [/aside]

    Completely not according to plan. The topic was meant to be about quantum mechanics, light, physics and mysticism. We were supposed to discuss “waves and particles and beyond.” Instead we only heard about the beyond.

    And then it dawned upon me that though the words never came out, this was indeed about waves and particles, just in a different language – the language called emotions and personal experience.

    The physicists tell us that light behaves both like a wave and a particle. Once someone observes the light, then the light takes on one of the two properties. So we observers actually change the course of events happening around us.

    The Russian Jews were changing the course of history with every breath they took, with every step they made.

    Yes, it’s true many of us are intrigued by the dual properties of light, their psychological parallels and practical applications. But there were people before us that did not have the luxury to analyze, discuss, debate these issues and then go.. to sleep. They were changing particles into waves and waves into particles just by living their daily lives.

    The Chassidic masters tell us that the wave and particle properties in light are about integrating matter and spirit, the details and the big picture (see Chanukah Lite). Fascinating indeed. Yet, there were those before us that fused waves and particles with their simple actions and profound faith.

    Perhaps, I thought to myself, someone that has actually experienced with his blood and tears the transition between wave and particle cannot really find the words to talk about it.

    So, on one hand I am still second guessing myself, and feel indebted to deliver what we promised to the people who attended: A discussion on quantum waves and particles. But on the other hand, perhaps we delivered much more than was expected: A living model of the quantum experience, a place far beyond waves and particles, which has the power to turn a wave into a particle and a particle a wave.

    Personally I learned something about making plans. Sometimes you think you’re looking for one thing, and when you let go, you actually discover something more important.

    Fiascos, waves, particles, tension, resolution, rotzo, shuv, quarks, leptons, chaos, order – “sounds like one big fiasco to me,” as someone told me. So, next time things don’t work out as planned, remember: Life is complex. The deeper you dig, the more complex it gets. But deep beneath/beyond it all – if you dig deep enough, or perhaps, if you stop digging at all and just let go – the deepest truth that emerges is the most complex thing of all: simple innocence.

    Sometimes you start out looking for a specific particle and instead you end up with a wave.

  • Vayera: Religious Selfishness

    Vayera: Religious Selfishness

    A Visit to Abraham: How to Speak with G-d

    As America gets more entangled in the bottomless quagmire called the Middle East, perhaps it’s time to revisit Abraham, father of Ishmael and father of nations, for some wise counsel.

    No matter how we try to analyze world events, particularly as they have rocked America since September 11, they remain a total mystery. What is the purpose and nature of our involvement and interests in Iraq? How and what will it take to get out of this chaos? Whether you agree or disagree with the administration’s Iraq policy, no one argues the fact that we are engaged in a formidable confrontation with the Arab/Muslim world.

    And lest we forget: What about Israel – when and how will it ever end?…

    What connection does Abraham have to all of this? Well, you can say that he got us into this mess in the first place. Had Abraham not taken his now famous trek (“lech lecho”) to Israel 3741 years ago, the entire modern landscape of the Middle East would have never taken shape.

    Abraham is also the father of Ishmael and Isaac, the ancestors of the Arab and Jewish worlds respectively, and grandfather of Esau, forbearer of the Western/Roman/Christian world.

    If nothing else, to spend some time with Abraham is simply refreshing for his profound courage, his fierce independence and his deeply personal relationship with G-d.

    In this week’s Torah portion in particular we find some fascinating interactions between Abraham and G-d that have much to teach us today, with powerful contemporary applications.

    Religious Arrogance/Selfishness

    At the outset of this week’s story, G-d appears to Abraham as he his healing from his circumcision. [We derive from this the mitzvah of visiting the sick, “bikkur cholim”]. This is the first time in history that G-d makes such an appearance, so you can imagine that it is quite a momentous occasion.

    [For the record, G-d’s appearance – as all such references in the Torah – should not be understood in anthropomorphic terms. Divine revelation is an experience from within. G-d is the essence of Reality, and as such G-d exists within all. “G-d appeared” means that this Essence expressed itself in some way that Abraham experienced it just as we would experience someone appearing before us].

    What does Abraham do? He turns away from G-d to greet and welcome these men as guests in his home.

    But something strange happens during this Divine “visit.” Abraham lifts his eyes and sees three strangers. They appear to him as nomads traveling in the desert. What does Abraham do? He turns away from G-d to greet and welcome these men as guests in his home.

    The Talmud derives from this that “welcoming guests is greater than welcoming G-d,” because Abraham turned away from G-d to greet the guests (Shabbat 127a).

    Beautiful lesson. But the question is this: We derive the power of greeting guests from Abraham’s behavior. But how did Abraham know? How did he have the right, even the chutzpah, to turn away from G-d to greet guests?! Even if a plain mortal were to come visit you when you were ill, it would be quite rude to turn away from your visitor to greet other guests! Let alone when the “visitor” is G-d, making a rare, first-time appearance!

    And in general: Why is greeting guests “greater than greeting G-d”?

    Clearly, Abraham the man of G-d, understood something deeper. What he understood was that ignoring wandering strangers is in effect ignoring G-d in the deepest way. Because if you love G-d then you must love what G-d loves, namely His creatures. Had Abraham ignored the nomads, one could argue that it was due not to Abraham’s respect for G-d, but perhaps to “religious selfishness.”

    As a young man the Rebbe Dovber was once so immersed in his studies that he did not hear a crying child in the other room. He was later rebuked by his father, Rabbi Schneur Zalman (the author of the Tanya and Shulchan Aruch) for not hearing the child’s cry. As immersed as someone may be in Torah study or prayer, one has to never ignore the cry of a child, and has to turn away from his religious activity to help another person.

    In other words: “Welcoming guests” is welcoming G-d in a greater way than welcoming G-d directly. Any religious or spiritual experience has to always make a person more refined and sensitive to other people.

    Imagine if we would all apply this to our lives today, how different the world would be.

    I once had a discussion with a “charedi” friend of mine (“charedi” is a Hebrew word used to describe ultra-observant Jews in Israel) about the deep rift between “charedim” and “chilonim” (secular). I suggested to him to encourage each of his colleagues to invite a “chiloni” to his Shabbat table as a guest. He laughed and told me: “It will never happen. Too much distrust; too much divisiveness.” How sad, how pathetic. 60 years ago we would have all been lying in the same bunkers… G-d forbid.

    Imagine if every “devout” Jew would invite to his/her Shabbat table a secular neighbor, instead of deriding him, how our landscape would be different…

    Nu, a sheine machshoveh, as they say in Yiddish (a nice thought)…

    No enemy can attack a house united.

    Divisiveness in general, especially Jewish divisiveness is the root of all problems. No enemy can attack a house united.

    Divine Secrets/Mysteries

    A bit later in this week’s portion, in the story of Sodom’s destruction, we find two amazing statements from G-d, that teach us much about the mystery of G-d’s relationship with us.

    G-d said: “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am going to do [destroy Sodom]?”

    G-d [then] said: “The outcry against Sodom is so great, and their sin is so very grave. I will descend and see if they have done everything implied by the outcry that is coming before Me. If not, I will know.”

    I always marvel at the first verse. Rarely do we find G-d speaking in such “vulnerable” terms. G-d is being apologetic and wondering whether He can hide from Abraham His plan to destroy Sodom!

    First of all, even if G-d thought so, why are we told about it, especially considering the fact that G-d does reveal His plan to Abraham. So what’s the point of telling us about G-d’s “personal” deliberations?

    Secondly, what is the substance of G-d’s doubt and deliberation? Why should He not share His plan with Abraham in the first place? And why did He choose to then tell him?

    I once heard that the reason some great Rebbes did not warn the Jews before the Holocaust was because G-d did not reveal to them what would happen. Had He revealed it to them, they could have intervened and not allowed it to happen.

    I know that this will surely provoke controversy. Nevertheless, I must share with you a story regarding this issue. Several years ago I traveled to Australia on a speaking tour. I spent two weeks lecturing in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane and Surfers Paradise [sic]. Upon my arrival, my host Rabbi Reisenberg, shared with me the following story:

    He knew a prominent journalist in Australia, a self-proclaimed atheist. The rabbi gave him a copy of my book, Toward A Meaningful Life. To Rabbi Reisenberg’s surprise, the journalist tells him a while later that he loves the book. He actually holds it at his bedside and reads from it nightly. The rabbi asked him: “So now, do you believe in G-d?” The journalist replied: “Let me put it this way. If G-d was like the Rebbe I would believe in Him!”

    I happened to meet the journalist in Sydney, when he attended a Friday brunch at which I spoke. From our conversation I realized who he was. So I asked him: “So, how do you know that G-d is not like the Rebbe?” His reply took my breath away: “Believe me, I know.” After a short, painful pause, he continued: “I know because the Rebbe would never have allowed the Holocaust”…

    I gulped…

    Oh yes, the Holocaust is a formidable challenge to our generation. Perhaps like no other. And I don’t mean in academic terms, but in stark emotional ones.

    — I remember a young smart aleck arrogantly arguing how the Holocaust does not allow us to believe in G-d. A Holocaust survivor stood up and looked keenly at the young man and said: “Well, I do believe in G-d even after the Holocaust. Indeed, if the Holocaust teaches us anything is that we cannot believe in man; we have no one else to trust except G-d.

    It is always repulsive to hear someone who just “came out of his diapers” (or should I say, designer pampers) use human tragedy as an excuse or an explanation for his/her beliefs and behavior. Holocaust survivors, and for that matter survivors of any loss, are in a class of their own. Whether their experience brings them to doubt or to belief is their sacred right between them and G-d. It is simple arrogance and outright abuse to enter that sacred space and judge people like that, no matter their position. They stand before G-d like no others have a right to.

    Perhaps this is what G-d was debating with Himself – and chose to share it with us – when He considered whether He should hide from Abraham what he was going to do.

    G-d has a personal relationship, a partnership with the human race. As difficult as it is for G-d to witness human atrocity, it must be even more difficult for Him to take away our free will, for if He did, all of existence may as well come to a stop.

    Yes, G-d has bound Himself to us in some mysterious, inexplicable way. We can change the course of destiny, even for G-d.

    This is the essence of prayer: We pray to G-d to change destiny. A person may be lying ill (G-d forbid), and we pray that G-d heal the person. Isn’t that chutzpah? Shouldn’t faith dictate that we accept G-d’s plan, whether we like it or not? No, that is not faith. Faith is the belief in G-d and, as such, the partnership between G-d and the human race. When we see pain we must cry out, not because we are weak, but because we are dynamic partners in the drama of life. We must pray and do everything possible to remedy the situation. “Yehi rotzon” we say – may it be Your will, we have the power to create/elicit a “new” Divine will and decree.

    How much more so a tzaddik, who has the power of “tzaddik gozer Haokodesh Boruch Hu Mikayem,” G-d fulfills the decree of a tzaddik, and beyond that: “Hakodesh Boruch Hu gozer, tzaddik mevatel,” a tzaddik can abolish G-d’s decree!

    Fully knowing that, G-d wonders whether He should reveal to Abraham His plan for Sodom. G-d knows that Abraham will challenge the decree and has the power to stop it. Abraham indeed challenges G-d, as the chapter continues in one of the most dramatic dialogues in history between a man of faith and G-d.

    Yet, G-d decides that He will reveal it to Abraham, and let the drama begin…

    This is also the meaning of the second verse: “The outcry against Sodom is so great, and their sin is so very grave. I will descend and see if they have done everything implied by the outcry that is coming before Me. If not, I will know.”

    This verse is the basis of one of the most fundamental theological concepts in understanding the nature of G-d (as discussed in the most complex Chassidic discourses on this verse). The question is asked: Why does an omnipresent G-d have to “descend” to see whether Sodom has sinned?

    Which leads us to the real question: Does G-d exist within our pain and suffering, or does He remain aloof, beyond it all?

    Does G-d exist within our pain and suffering, or does He remain aloof, beyond it all?

    The complex answer in brief: As transcendent as G-d inherently is of all experience, G-d chose to “descend” and engage Himself with existence as we know it, He chose to relate to and “enter within” our human experience. He does so by means of the spiritual spheres (“sefirot”) and the spiritual worlds of the cosmic order.

    But tension remains. Tension between the “two” realities: the perspective from above (“daas elyon”), seeing things from the transcendent dimension, and the perspective from below, from the “inside (of experience) out” (“daas tachton”). Resolving this tension – integrating both perspectives – is the true story of life, the ultimate purpose of existence.

    We are thus told of G-d’s “dilemma:” “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am going to do.” Both attitudes are legitimate. From the perspective above, perhaps Abraham does not need to be privy to G-d’s plans. But then G-d chooses to not hide them from him, and reveal them to the perspective below, and engage Abraham in a Divine/human dialogue.

    [Indeed, this may also be the choice that Abraham had to make when he saw the nomads in the hot desert: To remain with G-d, in G-d’s “world,” or to enter into the world below and greet the guests. He chooses the latter, welcoming guests, which is greater than greeting G-d].

    So, the challenge of pain and loss – and our endless debate on the topic – is actually meant to provoke a dialogue with G-d about our partnership. This is our right, indeed our responsibility – not to remain silent, but to engage G-d in the process.

    This also sets the stage for the next dramatic event – the Akeidah, the binding of Isaac, in which we witness again the tension between heaven and earth, and Abraham is faced with the choice between Divine love and human love. But we are left with no time and space to continue. But I can refer you to my article of last year, Kill Me A Son.

    We owe Abraham many tributes, not least among them the tribute of providing us with language to speak to G-d. If we ever have to challenge G-d we don’t need to create our own words; just use the words of Abraham, and you’ll have all the words you need.

    Most of us read daily newspapers and weekly magazines. We follow current events in the news. We have many sources of information today.

    By contrast, the story of Abraham took place 3766 years ago.

    Tell me which is more relevant today?