Your Guide to Personal
Counting the Omer: Week Six
During the sixth week of counting the Omer, we examine and
refine the emotional attribute of Yesod or bonding. Bonding
means connecting; not only feeling for another, but being
attached to him. Not just a token commitment, but total devotion.
It creates a channel between giver and receiver. Bonding is
eternal. It develops an everlasting union that lives on forever
through the perpetual fruit it bears.
Bonding is the foundation of life. The emotional spine of
the human psyche. Every person needs bonding to flourish and
grow. The bonding between mother and child; between husband
and wife; between brothers and sisters; between close friends.
Bonding is affirmation; it gives one the sense of belonging;
that "I matter", "I am significant and important".
It establishes trust - trust in yourself and trust in others.
It instills confidence. Without bonding and nurturing we cannot
realize and be ourselves.
Day 36 - Chesed of Yesod: Lovingkindness of Bonding
Love is the heart of bonding. You cannot bond without
love. Love establishes a reliable base on which bonding can
build. If you have a problem bonding, examine how much you
love the one (or the experience) with which you wish to bond.
Do I try to bond without first fostering a loving attitude?
Is my bonding expressed in a loving manner?
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the bond you have with
your child or friend through an act of love.
Day 37 - Gevurah of Yesod: Discipline of Bonding
Bonding must be done with discretion and careful consideration
with whom and with what you bond. Even the healthiest and
closest bonding needs "time out", a respect for
each individual's space. Do I overbond? Am I too dependent
on the one I bond with? Is he too dependent on me? Do I bond
out of desperation? Do I bond with healthy, wholesome people?
Exercise for the day: Review the discipline in your bonding
experiences to see if it needs adjustment.
Day 38 - Tiferet of Yesod: Compassion in Bonding
Bonding needs to be not only loving but also compassionate,
feeling your friend's pain and empathizing with him. Is my
bonding conditional? Do I withdraw when I am uncomfortable
with my friend's troubles?
Exercise for the day: Offer help and support in dealing
with an ordeal of someone with whom you have bonded.
Day 39 - Netzach of Yesod: Endurance in Bonding
An essential component of bonding is its endurance; its
ability to withstand challenges and setbacks. Without endurance
there is no chance to develop true bonding. Am I totally committed
to the one with whom I bond? How much will I endure and how
ready am I to fight to maintain this bond? Is the person I
bond with aware of my devotion?
Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the endurance level of
your bonding by confronting a challenge that obstructs the
Day 40 - Hod of Yesod: Humility of Bonding
Humility is crucial in healthy bonding. Arrogance divides
people. Preoccupation with your own desires and needs separates
you from others. Humility allows you to appreciate another
person and bond with him. Healthy bonding is the union of
two distinct people, with independent personalities, who join
for a higher purpose than satisfying their own needs. True
humility comes from recognizing and acknowledging G-d in your
life. Am I aware of the third partner - G-d - in bonding?
And that this partner gives me the capacity to unite with
another, despite our distinctions.
Exercise for the day: When praying acknowledge G-d specifically
for helping you bond with others.
Day 41 - Yesod of Yesod: Bonding in Bonding
Every person needs and has the capacity to bond with other
people, with significant undertakings and with meaningful
experiences. Do I have difficulty bonding? Is the difficulty
in all areas or only in certain ones? Do I bond easily with
my job, but have trouble bonding with people? Or vice versa?
Examine the reasons for not bonding. Is it because I am too
critical and find fault in everything as an excuse for not
bonding? Am I too locked in my own ways?
Is my not bonding a result of discomfort with vulnerability?
Have I been hurt in my past bonding experiences? Has my trust
been abused? Is my fear of bonding a result of the deficient
bonding I experienced as a child?
To cultivate your capacity to bond, even if you have valid
reasons to distrust, you must remember that G-d gave you a
Divine soul that is nurturing and loving and you must learn
to recognize the voice within, which will allow you to experience
other people's souls and hearts. Then you can slowly drop
your defenses when you recognize someone or something you
can truly trust.
One additional point: Bonding breeds bonding. When you bond
in one area of your life, it helps you bond in other areas.
Exercise for the day: Begin bonding with a new person or
experience you love by committing designated time each day
or week to spend together constructively.
Day 42 - Malchut of Yesod: Nobility in Bonding
Bonding must enhance a person's sovereignty. It should
nurture and strengthen your own dignity and the dignity of
the one you bond with. Does my bonding inhibit the expression
of my personality and qualities? Does it overwhelm the one
I bond with?
Exercise for the day: Emphasize and highlight the strengths
of the one with whom you bond.
This is an excerpt from Counting the Omer
A Spiritual Guide by Rabbi Simon Jacobson. This unique
book is now available at our online