Finding Balance in Feeling and Thinking: Lessons in Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence isn’t just about being in touch with your feelings—it’s the art of blending emotion with thoughtful response. This balance is a cornerstone of Jewish wisdom, brought to vibrant life through the teachings of Rabbi Simon Jacobson. In a world where heightened emotion can easily cloud judgment, mastering the ability to refine feelings and direct them purposefully offers a transformative key to better relationships and richer daily experience.
Bridging Emotion and Intellect
Imagine encountering a difficult conversation with a friend. The reflex might be to react from a place of hurt or defense. However, Rabbi Jacobson draws a compelling analogy: Think of your mind as a gardener and your emotions as flowers needing careful cultivation. Just as a gardener shapes and nurtures blossoms, our intellect can guide our feelings, ensuring emotion doesn’t run wild but blossoms into something beautiful and constructive.
Especially in close relationships—between family, partners, or friends—emotional intelligence is the litmus test of our growth. It’s not about suppressing feelings but refining them until they serve not only ourselves, but also those closest to us.
Practical Habits for Developing Emotional Intelligence
- Mindful Pause: The next time you feel a surge of strong emotion, take a moment before reacting. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and invite your intellect to the conversation. This brief pause helps you choose your response rather than be ruled by instinct.
- Daily Emotional Journaling: Keep a small notebook or use your phone to jot down moments during the day when a strong feeling arose. Later, revisit these notes, reflecting not just on what you felt, but what beliefs or stories shaped that emotion, and how you might guide it differently next time.
- Relationship Reflection: Identify one relationship where emotions often bubble up. Ask: How can you use your mental “gardener” to nurture healthier, more supportive exchanges? Set an intention for your next interaction, aiming to respond from a place of purpose rather than mere impulse.
Jewish Wisdom for Every Life
Jewish tradition offers a timeless message: our feelings are not obstacles, but opportunities. By consciously blending mind and heart, anyone can transform anger, frustration, or anxiety into deeper empathy, inner peace, or renewed connection. This approach empowers us to act with greater dignity and awareness thoughout all of life’s encounters, regardless of cultural or religious background.
Your Journey Forward
Start today by practicing a mindful pause or journaling one emotional trigger. Notice, over time, how your internal responses grow calmer and your interactions more meaningful. This is the heart of emotional intelligence—an ever-developing strength that brings harmony to both your inner world and your relationships with others.
For a deeper exploration, watch the full class on emotional intelligence: Watch here.
