Raising Resilient Souls: Rabbi Simon Jacobson’s Practical Strategies for Supporting Youth Through Challenge
In an unpredictable world, resilience is more valuable than ever for our children and teens. But how do we help them build true inner strength—the kind that weathers emotional storms, embraces setbacks, and turns them into springboards for growth?
Jewish wisdom has always focused on cultivating personal resilience. Rabbi Simon Jacobson, a renowned teacher of Chassidic thought, emphasizes that resilience is not about avoiding struggle, but learning how to transform every challenge into a source of wisdom and character. His approach blends deep spiritual insight with hands-on guidance that any parent, educator, or mentor can apply.
The Heart of Resilience: Relevance and Meaning
Children and teenagers crave meaning and relevance. Rabbi Jacobson teaches that the key to nurturing resilience is connecting spiritual insights to real-life experiences. For instance, instead of instructing children on what they must do (“keep Shabbat” or “study more”), he encourages adults to ask: What does this moment mean to you? How can you make it truly yours?
Consider turning ordinary rituals into personalized experiences. When a family gathers for Shabbat, invite every child to create their own way of participating—be it choosing a song, sharing a reflection, or helping design the table. This intentional engagement encourages ownership, fosters confidence, and reveals that even routine moments can nourish the soul.
Creative Engagement: Turning Routine into Renewal
Rabbi Jacobson suggests finding creative and relevant ways to make spiritual values come alive for young people. One method is the use of project-based challenges. For example, he describes encouraging students to make Shabbat “Shabbos-dik”—not just following procedures, but designing a unique experience, from preparing a special dish to spearheading a family game night inspired by Jewish values.
This approach can extend beyond religious practice. Whenever your child is facing a struggle—whether a tough test, a friendship issue, or a setback in sports—invite them to look at the challenge as a chance to grow. Turn the problem into a project: brainstorm ideas together, create small achievable goals, and celebrate effort just as much as achievement.
Supporting Growth as a Family and Community
Building resilience works best in partnership. Rabbi Jacobson recommends that families plan specific projects and deliberate goals for each child outside of school—something with a purpose, a deadline, and a tangible outcome. For instance, work with your teen on a community service initiative or a creative arts project, and be sure to recognize the unique contributions they bring.
Don’t limit this process to the home. Enlist mentors, friends, and trusted adults to broaden the support system. Share stories of adversity and recovery from your family history or Jewish tradition to show that overcoming obstacles is part of every meaningful journey. When setbacks happen, focus on lessons learned and the possibilities for new growth, rather than just the pain or failure.
Actionable Steps to Cultivate Resilience in Youth
- Make Meaning Personal: Ask your child how to make rituals—Shabbat, holidays, daily routines—relevant and engaging for them. Let their ideas lead the way.
- Foster Creative Problem-Solving: When faced with a difficulty, help turn it into a creative project with clear, achievable goals.
- Engage Together: Tackle challenges not as a burden, but as family adventures. Plan projects together and make effort and growth the focus, not just results.
- Highlight Stories of Strength: Share real stories of resilience from family or tradition, showing that setbacks can be seeds for greatness.
- Expand the Circle of Support: Encourage your child to reach out to trusted adults, mentors, and friends for fresh ideas and encouragement.
Lasting Takeaway
Resilience is not just built by enduring hardship, but by finding meaning, support, and creative energy within every trial. By transforming routine into relevance and setbacks into projects for growth, we help our youth forge the skills—and the soul-strength—to thrive no matter what challenges come their way.
For deeper guidance and inspiration, watch the full class: Coping with Mental Health Challenges Through the Lens of Chassidic Philosophy.
