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Behaalotecha: Mitchum

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Bizarre Revelations

Want to hear a good detective story? Listen to this.

Several years ago we consulted an intellectual property attorney about a certain issue. She asked us to send her some documents. Before getting off the phone, she said “I’ll look at what you send me … tomorrow and I’ll get back to you.” Before the word “tomorrow” she muttered some phrase that I couldn’t quite make out, and at the time I paid no attention to it.

But then a few days later we followed up our discussion, and again she said, “Next week I am … – she threw in the word again – going on vacation, and we’ll speak when I return.”

This time I could make out a word that began with the letter “m” and it sounded something like “mitch.” Next week I am ‘mitch’ going on vacation, and we’ll speak when I return.”

Again I paid no serious heed and went on with my life.

However when the same thing happened a third time, it began to intrigue me. After our attorney returned from vacation, we scheduled a meeting, and as we confirmed the time she said yet again, “ok, see you mitch… on Wednesday.”

Was it “mitch” that she said? She knows my name isn’t Mitch, so why would she use that word.

But again I dismissed it. After all, there are more important things to think about. I said to myself, “people have their speaking mannerisms. Some pepper their conversations with  ‘you know,’ others use ‘whatever,’ and this attorney punctuates her conversations with this “mitch” word.”

As we concluded our meeting on Wednesday, the attorney said to me, “I now understand the situation clearly, and – there she goes again – mitchum tomorrow I will review it with colleagues and then advise you.”

This time we were speaking not on the phone but in person so I could make out the word distinctly.  “Mitchum” not “mitch” was the word she was using.

What the heck is “mitchum”? I didn’t feel comfortable or professional asking her, so I just swallowed it.

But now, I no longer could just ignore it. In every subsequent conversation I had with the attorney, I waited for the moment when she would use the “mitchum” word. And without fail, whenever she spoke about some future commitment the “mitchum” word was prominently planted in mid-sentence.

“Mitchum,” “mitchum” – I muttered to myself. What does “michum” mean? Maybe the attorney’s husband’s name is “Mitchell” and she lovingly calls him “Mitchum.” But why would she be mentioning her husband’s name in unrelated conversations?

This small mystery began to haunt me. Nothing very consequential – like one of the many insignificant things we obsess about in the shower and when we daydream, and we carry in the back of our minds the hope that some day we will discover the meaning of our particular puzzle.

As my office continued to work closely with our attorney, I got to know her better. Perhaps the answer to the “mitchum” riddle lies in her personal life experiences. But to no avail. She was a very intelligent and highly competent attorney. Jewish and unaffiliated, she was somewhat proud of her heritage, though she admittedly did not have a Jewish education, and was thoroughly secular in her lifestyle. I could not find any hint as to why she would use this word.

Time passed. Throughout all our interactions, the “mitchum” word would always crop up. I would smile to myself as the word would emerge. Whenever I expected the word to come out of her lips, I was never disappointed. – May all our wishes be as easily fulfilled…

I even began to silently mumble the word, as I anticipated its utterance.

Several years passed. Obviously, my life was not disrupted because of this conundrum. As I said, it’s one of many trivial details that we carry with us as we move along in life.

Then a thought struck me. I was reading an article about Hollywood star worship, and I said to myself, “Mitchum. Where did I hear that word before? Ahh! Robert Mitchum the actor. Perhaps our good attorney is a Robert Mitchum fan. And has therefore incorporated in her daily conversations the ‘mitchum’ factor.”

I was so proud of my theory, thinking of ways how to prove my case, until I was rudely disappointed. In a casual conversation, I somehow maneuvered our discussion to the subject of films and actors. And I asked her, nonchalantly, “so, who are your favorite actors and actresses.” I added “actresses” just to cover my tracks. You see, our small little obsessions become a source of fascinating intrigue that breaks the monotony that often paralyzes our lives.

Which may explain why I didn’t just ask her outright the meaning of her “mitchum” expression. At this point, I was practically regaling in the mystery and in its solution; I didn’t want to spoil it with merely asking her directly. It’s the strange “if you can climb in through the window or the roof, why use the front door” syndrome. It makes no sense, but it makes life a little more exciting.

I’m probably overanalyzing myself – which is one of my vices. The obvious reason I didn’t ask her was because I didn’t want to intrude or embarrass her. “Mitchum” may be a private matter or just a habit (like “you know”). Would you go ask someone why they keep using the “you know” word or what they say “aks” instead of “ask”?!

Well, among all her favorite actors the name Robert Mitchum never came up. “Maybe she just forgot to mention him,” I thought to myself in my obstinate pride. So I mentioned his name. “Robert Mitchum. Please, give me a break. I hate him as an actor!” she replied without the slightest hesitation.

So there went my theory down the drain. Back to square one.

More time elapsed, and the “mitchum” mystery continued.

One day, in a completely unrelated experience, a woman who worked at William Morrow (publisher of my book Toward A Meaningful Life), asked me a peculiar question. Her devout grandmother, she told me, had a strange custom. Whenever she discussed her plans, her grandmother would always preface it by saying… (you guessed it): “mitchum.” “Now what did grandma mean by that?” she inquired of me, “is it some old Yiddish expression?” (her grandmother’s native tongue was Yiddish).

I began to laugh. The woman had no idea why.

“Thank you,” I said to her. “You just solved a riddle that has been dogging me for years.”

“Mitchum” is sort of a ridiculous run-on abbreviation of the expression “im yirtzeh Hashem,” if G-d so wills. This is a traditional phrase that goes back many years, a tradition which continues to this very day. When you discuss any planned activity “(“next month I plan to travel,” “next week I plan to buy a new home”, “tomorrow I have a planned meeting”), Jews traditionally add “im yirtzeh Hashem,” acknowledging that beyond all our plans we need and want to have G-d’s cooperation and blessing that our plans come to fruition.

Though it may not be a mitzvah, this “im yirtzah Hashem” declaration – or when said quickly, the abbreviated “mitchum.” – carries a most eloquent message:

Despite all our logical plans, beyond all our strategies and tactics, we recognize that we need G-d’s cooperation, that G-d’s will be aligned with our plans (or our plans aligned with G-d’s will). Because after all is said and done, even when you have devised the best strategy you always know that things don’t always work as planned. True faith dictates that you do everything possible with the faculties that you have been Divinely blessed with, your mind, heart and intuition. Simultaneously, you invite G-d in as partner to your activities, by declaring “im yirtzeh Hashem.”

This is similar to another expression “boruch Hashem,” blessed be G-d. When you ask a Jew “how are you,” he often will answer “good, Boruch Hashem,” “good, thank G-d.”

Indeed, the Baal Shem Tov made it his custom to inspire Jews to say “Boruch Hashem” at every possible opportunity – to consciously, verbally and actively acknowledge G-d’s presence in their lives.

Why? Because we live in a dark world, a universe that on its own is consciously disconnected from its source. One of the most powerful things we humans can do to counteract the debilitating forces of a narcissistic and self-absorbed world (caused by the great tzimzum) is to actively introduce G-d wherever and whenever we can. To connect our consciousness to the Divine consciousness.

“Shem Shomayim shogur be’fi kol,” the name of Heaven [G-d] is on the lips of all. This is the ultimate expression of the all-pervasive Divine unity that permeates and imbues every fiber of existence.

I find it most amazing that our attorney, unknowingly, was revealing G-d into a secular world each time she said “mitchum.” Indeed, her “mitchums” had enormous power. I have heard the expression “im yirtzeh Hashem,” many times in my life, to the point that it has become so common that I don’t even notice it any more. But never did I appreciate it as much as when I heard the attorney’s repeated “mitchum” abbreviation.

Is this not contemporary revelation? Bizarre, yet still revelation.

So, next time you plan an activity – as we make our summer plans, or any other activities – remember that the pilot flame of your soul is always burning. It is our job to make it part of our consciousness and awareness, to the point that our soul-flame is rising on its own. [There’s your connection to this week’s Torah portion, Behaalotcho, which discusses the kindling of the menorah to the point that the flames had to rise on their own].

One powerful way of doing this is by introducing “im yirtzeh Hashem” into our daily activities.

Or if you insist… “mitchum.”

Have a good Shabbat, and see you “mitchum” next week.

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K. Rbogen

I enjoy your writings. This hit home.Too many times i make plans to find my day was planned out by another. Mitchum. If G-d so wills. I learn to look at my plans and watch the day unfold and how other things happen and my plans are distorted or pushed to another day. I learn to look with interest and wonderment as my day/ plans change. I try not to feel unrest and frustration. I trade it off for blessings for i feel someone up there is guiding for a reason. I pray to be still and listen for the… Read more »

Millie Jerushalmy

Many years ago, upon mentioning some plans to my father-in-law, alav hashalom, I said im yirtzeh Hashem. He then told me the following, which he himself had heard from the Vizshnitzer Rebbe in the old country:
If you say im yirtzeh Hashem, you remain totally passive and hope that it comes to pass; however, if you say beezrat Hashem, you take Hashem as your partner and, together you aspire and strive and, beezrat Hashem, it will indeed come together!

Millie Kashuk

My Great-Grand-Mother came to the US when I was 3 years old and used Mitchum speaking yiddish all the time……….It is a great word…
Many times when I am using a phrase in the future I think of the word Mitchum
(It should happen)

Seth Glass

Yasher Koach Rebbe Simon. You have given us the key to fix the broken door of Hisgalus Hadaas.
Very nice.
Pop goes the weasel.

Good Shabbes and Big Love from
Shemaryahu Melech ; }

zs

How Inspiring! I Respect her for sticking to her traditions in an untraditional world!

maurice egozi
Binah Bindell

You are very patient. I would have come right out and asked her. You waited years. Most interesting is the hashgucha protis of the word being used for that phrase by someone else, and then the inquiry directed to you!

ES

Love this story. How unique is Am Yisroel. We may not always understand what is on everyones lips, but we need to understand with certainty that Hashem is always in their hearts and minds.

In my pre-religious awareness life, my parents and grandparents were completely non-observant. As a pregnant young wife expecting twins, I became aware of my mother using the expression, meerchachim, whenever she spoke of the impending birth of the children.I just assumed it was an Irish, having to do with Meerschaum pipes, expression and never thought of it again until so many years later when I became observant and out togethet Im Yirtzeh Hashem with my mothers Irish incantation. It was too late to tell her. By the time the light bulb went on for me she had been gone many… Read more »

Jacquie Seemann Charak

Just last night, my daughter was commenting on the way we run words and phrases together, so much so that we lose sight or knowledge of what the original was. Then of course different Hebrew pronunciations get in the way as well. But its lovely to think that we can maintain the true meaning even as the form changes and obscures the origins.

A worthy point which was not enhanced by being encased in so much verbiage. In todays busy world with so much communication being thrown at us, it becomes a Mitzvah to employ brevity.
Respectfully,

Chaim

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