A successful marriage must have vitality. A union between two living people must constantly be nurtured and encouraged to grow. A marriage must also abound in trust. Trust does not come overnight; it takes years to build and needs to continuously be maintained. Trust serves as a solid foundation that will support a marriage through crisis. One way to (re)vitalize your marriage and build trust through positive experiences is to do what you did when you first met — to spend quality time together. Never take your relationship for granted; designate time and go out on dates with your spouse.
What to Do On a Date With Your Spouse
Put away your phones and laptops. Find something new to do with your partner. Take on a a new joint activity. Travel to a new place. Begin going to a class together. Study a new text together, particularly in the spiritual genre, insights that you both find inspiring and warming. Try reading together rather than watching a movie. Even if you haven’t done that in years, maybe it’s time to begin by designating a half hour or an hour a week. The benefits will far surpass the investment.
Summer is here, when people think about their travel plans. Use this opportunity to take a romantic journey like never before. Don’t just plan a physically relaxing getaway, to a beautiful or exotic location, but infuse it with a spiritual dimension — using the time to explore your souls, through meaningful conversations, sharing your values and transcendent dreams. Plan trips and evening dinners enriched with music and soulful experiences, that are beyond the here and now.
Build Positive Experiences to Bond
Building a foundation and feeding your relationship with a steady diet of positive experiences together nurtures and nourishes your connection, continuously intensifying your bond, like glue that attaches two distinct entities. What is a glue? Since two hard surfaces do not bond easily, we introduce a drop or two, or a thin veneer, of a fluid and flexible substance, by which the two hard surfaces are fused together. Employing this analogy, every person is a self-contained individual with his or her distinct personality, not always amenable to bonding with another. However, when they find a common denominator of shared values, which transcend their differences, that serves as a “glue” to fuse them in one seamless union.
This transcendent dimension also serves to reconcile differences and disagreements between spouses, and can help soften the inflexibility two people may exhibit when they dig in to their respective, hardened positions. When they identify the unifying forces in their lives they can rise above their differences and move toward reconciliation without feeling that they have compromised their dignity and pride.
Exercise: Plan a date with your spouse. Go out and enjoy each other’s company. How did you feel after the date compared to before? Journal about it in your MyMLC journal.