Is It Okay To Be Sad?
Hello everyone, Simon Jacobson here for another episode of Meaningful Life. Today’s topic, dedicated by Vanessa Dorenfont in honor of Amalia Mala Bas Vardy, asks a simple yet profound question: Is it okay to be sad?
The truth is, my friends, a healthy human being, no matter who we are, goes through challenges. Life is a tapestry of cycles, a beautiful symphony of experiences – some joyous, others painful. Just like a cardiogram with its peaks and valleys, our lives are meant to ebb and flow. We don’t strive for perpetual euphoria or bottomless despair, but rather a healthy balance, a graceful dance between the highs and lows.
Sadness, in its purest form, is not inherently negative. It is a natural part of the human experience, a testament to our capacity to feel deeply and connect with the world around us. The key is to recognize that we are navigating life’s waves, not drowning in them.
Our Sages teach us that tears have the power to bathe the soul. Imagine a kettle boiling over without a spout – the pressure builds until it can no longer be contained. Tears, my friends, act as that release valve, an outlet for emotional expression, a way to prevent our inner world from imploding.
I vividly recall an experience, years ago, that deeply impacted me. A man walked into my office, his body language screaming of fear and pain. His words came out in choked whispers as he shared stories of a lifetime of bullying and abuse, first within his family and then in the world. He carried himself like a human punching bag, braced for the next blow. My heart ached for him.
I asked him, “When was the last time you cried?”
His response sent chills down my spine. “I can’t remember,” he said. “Perhaps when I was a young boy, five or six, my father was hitting me, and when I cried, he yelled, ‘Men don’t cry! Stop crying!’ I never cried again. I was afraid to.”
My own eyes welled up as I listened to his story. I could see the years of unexpressed emotion, the tears trapped within him, hardening his heart. I stood up and asked him to do the same. As I embraced him in a hug, I felt his body stiffen. It was as though I were holding a metal pillar, his muscles rigid with discomfort. He had become so accustomed to pain, so used to suppressing his emotions, that even a hug felt foreign and threatening.
We spoke for a long time that day, and in the weeks that followed, a glimmer of hope emerged. I taught him the importance of releasing his pain, of allowing himself to feel the full spectrum of human emotion.
This experience taught me a profound lesson: We need outlets for our pain, healthy ways to express our sadness. Silence, as they say, can be deafening. When we bury our emotions, when we pretend we weren’t hurt, we invalidate our own experiences and rob ourselves of the opportunity to heal.
The Jewish calendar, in its wisdom, understands this inherent need for balance. We have periods of intense joy, like the holiday of Purim, and periods of profound sadness, like the nine days leading up to Tisha B’Av, the saddest day in the Jewish year.
Why, you might ask, would we designate a time for sadness? The answer lies in recognizing the cyclical nature of life. Just as there are times for unbridled joy, there are times for mourning and reflection.
During a Jewish wedding ceremony, at the height of celebration, a glass is broken. Why would we introduce such a stark reminder of loss and destruction at a moment of such happiness? Because it is precisely in these moments of joy that we must acknowledge the fragility of life, the reality that pain and heartbreak are also part of the human experience. By acknowledging the brokenness in the world, we cultivate humility and empathy, and we deepen our capacity for joy.
Life is not a static destination but a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns. Embracing the full spectrum of human emotion, the joy and the sorrow, the laughter and the tears, is essential for living a meaningful and fulfilling life.
So yes, my friends, it is more than okay to be sad. Allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, to cry when you need to, to seek solace in loved ones. Remember, tears are not a sign of weakness, but a testament to the depth of your humanity. They are the raindrops that nourish the soul, allowing us to grow and blossom even in the face of adversity.
May we all have minimal reasons to cry, but when we do, may we find solace in the knowledge that we are not alone. May we learn to embrace the full spectrum of human emotion, knowing that even in our darkest moments, there is always hope, always healing, and always the promise of a brighter tomorrow.
This has been Simon Jacobson. Please visit us at MeaningfulLife.com, subscribe to our YouTube channel, and share your thoughts and comments. Be blessed and be well.