The question this week is about infertility: “I’ve always believed that the purpose of life is to raise children to contribute to society and its been my lifelong dream to be a mother. My husband and I have been married over a decade and we’ve never been able to conceive despite countless efforts and methods. Is there anything I can do on a spiritual level to remedy this? And how can I reconcile my life’s purpose if I indeed can’t have children?”
First, let’s rule out all the medical situations. Have you seen a second doctor? Have you seen a third doctor? Often it comes down to looking and keeping on looking and not just listening to one medical expert and not ruling out that there isn’t some physical or some psychological or other factor that may be involved. Second, going to the spiritual side of things: Sometimes the energy between husband and wife and how they interact with each other has an impact on the channels and blessings of having children. Are you and your husband on the same page? Do you both want children? Do you have arguments and conflicts? These are all factors that may in some way impede the channel that allows the blessing of children. If you deal with all these situations and you rule out all of these factors, then of course we have to address the actual issue. I want to believe that though a decade has passed you will be blessed with children. But should G-d forbid that be the case, always remember that G-d would not deprive you and your husband of the great blessing of children without giving you something that can compensate for it. And that’s why we have a beautiful statement in the Talmud that says: “One who teaches the child of another is as if they gave birth to them.” Again, I want to wish you will have your own biological children. But remember, by inspiring another person by educating another person you have the power to give birth to them intellectually, psychologically, emotionally. G-d should bless you and your husband and all people who need blessings for the channel to have children in this world that they should actually come parents, that channel should be open, and we should do our part in not allowing any of the impediments to block the flow.