When was the last time you cried?
I will never forget the day when a gentleman in his mid 40s came to see me. Taking one look at him, without even uttering a word, I could sense the extreme tension in his body. He was so wound up, clearly carrying a very heavy weight on his shoulders. When we finally began to speak, he shared with me that throughout his entire life he was bullied, loathed, hated.. by his parents, siblings, friends and strangers, to the point that in time he began to hate himself.
I can’t describe how painful it was to witness this broken man telling his heartbreaking story. He sat there — pitiful, numb, frozen, all knotted up. So much sadness. So much sorrow. So much despair. How can anyone carry so much?! After a while, which seemed like an eternity, I turned to him and asked, “When was the last time you cried?” He looked at me in complete bewilderment and then responded, “The last time I cried was when I was 5 years old. My father looked at me with a stern eye and said, ‘Men don’t cry. I do not want to see you cry ever again.'”
“And I have never cried since. No matter how painful my life was, no matter how difficult my situation was, I never cried again. I feel like if I would now begin to cry I would never be able to stop.”
Tears are a critical part of our lives. We were given tears as a way of release, like the steam escaping from a kettle. Without the release, all our feelings and emotions, our joys and our sorrows, would just continue to build and bottle up inside of us with no outlet. The tension would overwhelm and implode within us. Tears allow the intense energy to escape. They soothe and bathe us in the release of feelings and emotions. Tears bathe your soul, say the mystics.
Please Join Rabbi Simon Jacobson for an important discussion on the role tears play in our lives. Discover the mystical and cosmic power of tears and the tools they provide us that help us express and balance our deepest feelings and emotions in a healthy and productive manner. And… learn the end of the story of the man that didn’t cry for 40 years.
