What to Do When Things Fall Apart


The severity of the situation doesn’t matter; when things fall apart there are three initial steps you can take to start restoring security and order to your life. Conventional wisdom says, “Pick up the pieces of your life.” That approach is reactive and negative and can compound feelings of hopelessness. Try this instead when things fall apart.

Remember Who You Are

Your strength comes from a firm foundation. Your foundation is knowing who you are at the soul level. Before you look for solutions to your problems, affirm who you are. Think about it. Journal about it. Talk to a trusted friend or mentor about it. A tree cannot withstand heavy wind and rain without strong roots. Your roots — your foundation — is your true self at the soul level.

Think Optimistically

Think good and it will be good. When things fall apart, it can be hard to see a way out from under the rubble. “Think good” isn’t just about sunshiny optimism. It means having faith in your Creator, knowing that you are never alone. “Think good” means looking at all of your internal and external resources and finding ways to use them. Your thoughts, if they’re good, will propel you to take action.

Ask for Help

Asking for help has two benefits: One is that you might get not only the help that you need, but that new doors, doors that you didn’t even know about, could open. The other is that you will not feel alone. Isolation is the most devastating part of times when things fall apart. But just knowing that you are not alone can give you hope.

Exercise: Remember a time in your life when things fell apart and you put them back together. Examine the process that you used to put things back together. Record your answer in MyMLC.


Go deeper into this subject: Rebuilding Life After Trauma

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Is Trauma the New Scapegoat?
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Mike Fishbain
7 years ago

Your advice is sound, however; when life’s events which are beyond one’s control but life threatening, I don’t see how positive thoughts and a solid foundation can help.

Cancer is insidious, and the mental effects are often as devastating as the physical.

Anxiety and it’s attendant physical manifestations are just about impossible to overcome when one is staring death in the face.

Reuben Green
2 years ago
Reply to  Mike Fishbain

I know what you are talking about. And yet, the worse the situation is, the more relevant is what Rabbi Jacobson is saying.
At least in my way of understanding cancer -or any other form of suffering.
A book you might want to read is “Healing Words” by Larry Dosey M.D.

Last edited 2 years ago by Reuben Green
Leah Sarno
7 years ago

To the previous commentor, there is in fact evidence that positive thinking does help with recovery in the face of life-threatening situations. There have been numerous studies to determine just how much of an impact the power of positive thinking can have on a person’s physical health. Whether that person is perfectly healthy or fighting a deadly disease, the general correlation between being “upbeat” and a person’s ability to get and stay healthy have been proven consistent.

kaddu ninah
5 years ago

i like it, think i gat to try it out

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