Some mistakenly think that confidence is something you either have or don’t have. That is not true. Every one of us can build and grow confidence. Even if you feel insecure and lack self-confidence, it is possible to work on yourself to acquire it. You are not damaged goods. In fact, you have unlimited and unknown potential deep inside yourself. Access your inner confidence with these six techniques.
1. Develop Awareness of Your Soul
Your soul is absolutely secure and brimming with self esteem. But life in this insecure world — experiences that hurt us — can conceal and disconnect you from your soul and its inherent confidence, and leave you feeling fearful and threatened in a hostile world. To access your secure soul you need to connect to the soul; to be aware of it. The deeper your awareness, the more profound your confidence will manifest. You must become confident with confidence, so to speak; confident with your own inner soul confidence. To achieve that you need to have a relationship with your soul. By communing with your soul – through study, prayer and good deeds – you can glean energy from the soul’s inherent confidence.
2. Shift Your Routines
Sometimes when we cannot access the inner resources that lay beneath the surface, we need to scrape away the outer crusts that conceal the energy within. Psychologically this is called behavioral change: external change brings internal change. Shift your routines and this will in turn shift your inner moorings. Shift breeds shift. Change your habits.
3. Fake It ‘Til You Make It
One way to create such a shift is to “fake” it — to project and believe in the possibility even when you are not in the mood. To act confident even when you may not feel that way. You’re not being a liar; you are transcending how you feel and transcending your limiting beliefs, which in turn free up your inner strengths.
4. Seek Support
Peer support is also an important factor in gaining confidence. Beginning from early childhood, the support we get from our parents (and also the lack of it) directly affects our level of self-confidence. When a child is acknowledged and encouraged, assured and complimented, the child builds courage and learns to trust him/herself. As a child explores it’s surroundingd, observe how s/he looks for affirmation from parents and adults. Even if your childhood resulted in a lack of confidence, there is always hope. Find supportive friends and mentors who can support you in making your unique contribution to the world.
5. Be Around Confident People
Another powerful way to behaviorally build self-confidence is to be around confident people. Confidence is contagious. Spending time with secure people will always nurture your soul’s inner confidence, just as hanging around insecure people will always feed your insecurities.
6. Make Other People Feel Confident
It’s a mirror image: Confidence breeds confidence; security feeds security. You usually make others feel as you are; you project what you are and you are what you project. Confident and secure people make others feel the same. Insecure people make others feel insecure. Help others feel confident, and it will come back and bring you confidence in return.
Exercise: Identify an area of your life where you lack confidence. Begin to implement the six methods described in this article. Reflect on it in your free MyMLC journal.