February 8th, 2017
This one goes out to all the single and dating people out there, and to the married people too.
There is one thing that love is not, and that’s judgement. Growing up in the Western world, we’re given the message that we’re only worthy of love if we meet certain criteria. Conversely, the culture at large teaches us that we can only love someone or something that meets our expectations. Our children fail and we treat them like losers, our spouses don’t measure up so we look elsewhere. Our parents were the harbingers of our psychological problems, and our friends don’t show up the way we want them to. If only people were better — if only they would measure up — it would be so much easier to love.
Um, No
Love is experienced through being be able to hold simultaneous truths. The infinite wisdom of the intelligence of the universe created us as imperfect creatures with plenty of work to do on ourselves. Love, as an entity, is not dependent on perfection. If it were dependent on perfection, it would mean that only a perfect power way above reality is deserving of love, since every single human is created with problems to work out over time. Love is holding space for imperfections.
You Are Worthy of Love, and So is Everybody Else
Love is your birthright. It’s your birthright to receive it, and it’s your birthright to give it to other people. You can stop telling yourself that you’re only worthy of love if you are perfect and if you please other people. You, and everybody else, is worthy of love by virtue of the fact that you exist. Birth is G-d saying that you matter. Love is not a competition. It’s not an elimination battle. It’s something that we are born to receive and born to give, regardless of levels of perfection.
Exercise: Think of one person you have, or wish to have, a loving relationship with. Assess your level of judgment toward that person. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: Bamidbar: Unconditional Love, The Cosmic Marriage: All About Unconditional Love
Tags: love, judgment
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Love & Marriage | 10 Comments »
February 7th, 2017
Depending on the religious tradition that you grew up with, prayer might seem like any of these negative adjectives: Trite, fake, stiff, too organized, impersonal, boring. If you grew up in a tradition where the prayers were in another language, you can add “I didn’t even know what I was saying” to that list. And that’s not just a shame; it’s unfair to you. You were robbed of your own spiritual connection. It’s time for you to reclaim prayer.
Prayer is pouring your heart out to your Higher Power — however you understand it — and asking Him/Her/It to fulfill your needs. Your prayers do not have to come from a prayer book. By all means if the words of a prayer book feel like an expression of your core, then use them. But know that crying out to (or speaking quietly but sincerely to…it’s up to you) your Higher Power in your own words is the basis of prayer. It is very effective. It is free, and you can do it anytime and anywhere.
You might feel guilty about asking your Higher Power to provide for your material concerns. You might have been told that you are small and your Higher Power is big, and don’t bother Him/Her/It for the small things. Let go of that nonsense. The spiritual truth is that the basis of prayer is turning to your Higher Power, with all of your heart, and asking Him/Her/It to fulfill your needs. By doing so, you acknowledge that even the smallest of your material wants are provided by a source greater than yourself. Recognizing and expressing that every single thing that sustains you is a product and a gift from a higher source is one of the deepest spiritual actions you can take.
Exercise: Go into a private space. Put a timer on for five minutes. Begin speaking to a power greater than yourself. Journal about what the experience feels like. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this topic: Chana’s Prayer, Prayer Archives
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We Pray; But Is Anyone Listening?
February 23, 2022 @8:30pm
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Tags: prayer, Power of Prayer, connection with G-d
Posted in Anxiety and Depression, Soul Gym, Beliefs & Concepts, Prayer, Torah | 1 Comment »
February 6th, 2017
Having faith isn’t something you can convince yourself to do. If you’re scared, standing there repeating to yourself, “I’m not alone,” is not going to make you feel better. Saying it will become part of the fearful dialogue in your head. Any kind of mantra you repeat will fuel the fire of neurosis in your mind.
Having faith, and using it as an antidote to fear, is suspending the fearful talk in your head (i.e., “I’m going to die.”) and focusing completely on the here and now. You’ve probably done exactly what I’m talking about. Do you remember a time when you were forced to “bite the bullet” and do something you were afraid of? Do you remember the moment when realized that you had done the very thing you were afraid of?
The easiest examples to understand are the physical ones: SCUBA diving is scary to you. But you put on the SCUBA gear, fall into the water, and start swimming. At a certain point you forget that you’re scared of SCUBA diving; you’re not thinking about yourself because you are immersed (pun intended) in the experience of looking at schools of brightly-colored fish. You’re not thinking about the fact that your equipment could fail and you could die; you’re too busy exploring the sea anemones living on the coral reef. That’s what I mean by focusing completely on the here and now.
Why is focusing on the here and now synonymous with having faith? It’s because when you take your own ego out of the equation, you become a channel for the infinite energy of the universe. You know you’re not alone because you feel that you’re being carried through the experience by a force greater than yourself. It’s different from the isolation that you experience when you are afraid: When you are afraid, you feel alone. You only have yourself to rely on. But when you are channeling that infinite energy, you are completely secure.
The root of fear is isolation; it’s going through a difficult or painful experience without anyone else who can relate to what you’re going through. But you fundamentally won’t feel alone if you focus on the here and now, letting the energy of a higher power carry you through.
Exercise: List times in your life when you remember the feeling of being completely one with the universe. If you have never experienced it, imagine what it would be like. Record your answer in MyMLC.
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Fight or Flight? How to Free Yourself from Fear
Wednesday, January 4, 2022 @8:30pm
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Tags: fear, faith, loneliness
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 1 Comment »
February 5th, 2017
If you experience anxiety, this one insight could help you to overcome it: When you experience anxiety and cannot seem to settle your mind, it’s not because of the object of your fear. In moments of anxiety and panic, what you fear most is your own anxiety. President Roosevelt nailed it in his inaugural speech:
“So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
Like FDR said, fear is paralyzing. Here’s how: Picture yourself mid-anxiety attack. What are you most afraid of? You’re most afraid of your own anxiety — that it will never end, that it will kill you … whatever the trigger of the attack was stops mattering because you can’t even deal with it until you settle your mind. You get stuck in your own anxiety and can’t do anything at all.
But how to settle the mind when you are in the midst of an anxiety attack? These five tips point to how to settle the mind. Let’s explore the idea using the the example of a date who doesn’t call back.
1. Pre-empt anxiety by diversifying your options.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Options are the antidote to anxiety. If black choice and white choice provoke anxiety, look for the gray choice. Always look for the third option and beyond. You can preempt and prevent the attack of an unsettled mind by diversifying your options. For instance: You are dating someone and he doesn’t call when he says he will. Option one is to be distraught: If this guy doesn’t like you, nobody ever will, so you might as well crawl under your covers with a pint of ice cream. Option two is to be angry: Delete his number from your phone and block him on Facebook and plan your choice words for him should you ever run into him. What about option three? Option three is where you can preempt anxiety: Option three means that all your eggs aren’t in this guy’s basket. You have a good group of friends and many interests, and you’re trying to get a promotion at work. This guy is just one piece of your life. If he disappears, you’ll be sad for a minute but you’ll direct your attention to other things in your life.
2. Focus on something positive and upbeat.
Do not focus on your anxiety. After you have acknowledged it, focus on something else. Think of a funny joke. Plan a dinner party for all of the most positive people you know. For example: The man you’re dating is supposed to call, but he hasn’t called. You can become a nervous wreck and narrate all of the reasons why you think you’re not good enough for him; or you can think about something else. Treat yourself to a different emotional experience. Go see a horror movie. Read a funny book. Look at cute baby animals. Just give yourself the gift of an emotional experience other than nervous anxiety.
3. Call a friend.
Asking for help is a key piece of how to settle the mind. Get a perspective on the situation different from your own. It is crucial that you call a friend or mentor who has a broad view of life and who can help you to see the big picture. Don’t call someone who will condemn you or tell you pessimistic things. For instance: You’re waiting for the guy to call and he doesn’t call; so you call a friend. You tell the friend that’s you’re getting anxious because the guy hasn’t called. Your friend distracts you, helps you to find alternative emotional experiences to have at that moment, reminds you of your goodness and the scope of your wonderful life, and helps you to learn from the experience. You come away from the phone call with clarity. You’re still sad that he hasn’t called, but you’ve learned from the experience and are ready to move on.
4. Get some physical exercise.
Move some furniture. Scrub your floors. Go for a run. Exercise is effective at settling the mind. If you are not able to exercise, or just can’t bring yourself to, then have another immersive physical experience. Taking a hot shower works well. When the guy doesn’t call and you’re getting anxious, get outside and sweat and then take a hot shower. It will settle your mind.
5. Do something where you have to survive.
It is impossible to be anxious when you are focused on survival. This is why many people find outdoor adventure and adrenaline sports to be emotionally healing. If you cannot figure out how to settle your mind, switch from neurosis mode to survival mode. Not in the mood for deep sea diving? No problem. You can simulate the experience by taking an exhilarating cold shower, or standing on your hands, or going to a cultural event where you don’t speak the language.
Exercise: Recall a time when you were anxious. Review how you coud have used steps one through five to settle your mind. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: Shortcut to Overcome Anxiety
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How to Cope with Mental Health Challenges
Wednesday, May 10, 2023 @8:30pm
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Tags: fear, mental health, relationships, anxiety
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 4 Comments »
February 3rd, 2017
Here are four words to never say: “I am feeling uninspired.” Though they sound innocuous, like something you could just sigh and move on from, they are toxic words. Why? The words “I’m feeling uninspired” are noxious dead-end words because they steal your power from you, and they allow you to lie to yourself. Superficial inspiration comes from outside of yourself, but long-term, life-changing inspiration comes from you. Inspiration is not passive activity. Staying inspired is, in fact, the greatest work of your life.
You Are In Control of Your Inspiration
You are in control of your level of inspiration. It’s up to you to identify what inspires you, and to fan the flames of that inspiration. It is your responsibility to go beyond boredom, monotony, and routines. Nobody can do that for you. There are people in the world who have everything — all of the external stimulation available. They have money, fast cars, fancy clothes, mansions, high-profile careers…and they’re so empty inside that they feel compelled to shoot heroin. How could that be? External stimulation has its limits. Without generating inspiration within yourself, you can feel a buzz or a high but you can never feel fulfilled or purposeful.
Reconnect to Your Purpose
When you feel uninspired, it is time to work. The work consists of taking part in and serving a cause greater than yourself. In the material world, there is always more to want. But in the spiritual world, there is always more to give. Point blank: Feeling uninspired means that you’ve disconnected from your purpose in life. The only way to recognize those sparks of external inspiration is to force yourself to look for them. How open are your eyes (and other senses) to the magic and potential of the world around you?
Exercise: Inspire yourself by learning something new — even a single sentence. Look at the people, places, and events of your day through the lens of what you learned. What did you see? Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: Fanning the Flames
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The Never-Ending Flood in Gaza: Build Yourself an Ark
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Tags: inspiration, purpose in life
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February 2nd, 2017
What poses as one fear might not be your real fear at all. Most of us have superficial fears that cover over our true fears. They play a trick on us, but we can outsmart them. What we need is a plan to handle anxiety, which we will illustrate below.
Say you are afraid of walking across bridges. Remember the time your family was on vacation in New York City, and they all went to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, but you couldn’t get yourself to walk past the entrance to the pedestrian walkway? What were you really afraid of?
Logically, and superficially, you could say that you are afraid that the bridge would collapse, or that you’d be pushed off the bridge. But did you really believe that you were in mortal danger, or was it just anxiety? Fundamentally, is your fear of walking over a bridge just simple fear of death? Surely seeing the hundreds of people who were safely walking across the bridge should have assuaged those fears. But, anxiety isn’t logical. Fortunately, you can circumvent anxiety with a plan.
What you were afraid of is freaking out. You know how anxious you get when walking across a bridge, and you are anticipating a full-scale panic attack. If you don’t identify the real fear — your fear of having a panic attack on a bridge — you’ll never get past the fear. You’ll never address your fear of your own anxiety if you keep reasoning with your superficial fears. If you want to walk across the bridge, at a certain point you’ll have to accept that you might freak out. You’ll have to devise a plan for handing your anxiety. You’ll have to map out where the benches are, so that you know where you can sit down mid-panic attack. You’ll have to work out a plan with your family for getting you off of the bridge mid-panic attack. You’ll have to tell them how you need them to walk you off, and what does and does not assuage your panic. With your plan in place, you will probably walk over the bridge without having a full-scale panic attack. The human mind likes preparation.
Do not take your fears at face value. When you are afraid, dig deeper. Then plan to handle your root fear.
Exercise: Identify one fear that dogs you. What do you think is the root of that fear? Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: What Are You Afraid Of?, Overcoming Fear of Failure, Fear Is Really About Loneliness
Tags: Soul Gym: How Not to Be a Coward
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | No Comments »
February 1st, 2017
I know someone who moves from place to place a lot. Much of his life is spent packing up and moving from one coast to the other and from north to south. In each place he goes, some kind of drama ensues and he packs up and leaves town. He lives in chaos. How could he find balance in life?
In Jewish mystical terminology, he lives in a state of “rotzo” — running way. Rotzo is drama, anxiety, a high level of action. It is tension and contraction.
The opposite of rotzo is “shov” — returning. If rotzo is speaking, shov is listening. Shov is a state of peace. Shov is resolution and expansion. Shov is comfortable.
If your life involves too much rotzo, you will burn out. Like my friend, you will live in a wearisome world of tumult. If your life involves too much shov, you will be too passive. You will stay in your comfort zone and not grow to your true potential.
How to find balance in life: Balance your experiences of tension and resolution. Bring rotzo and shov into harmony with each other. Recognize the patterns of the wave of life — the patterns of rotzo and shov in your life. Rotzo and shov must work with each other, rather than against each other. Picture the waves of the ocean, receding and then splashing up on the shore. You must move forward in life with both passion and peace.
Exercise: Divide a piece of paper into two columns. In the first column, list examples of rotzo in your life. Remember, rotzo is anxiety-producing experiences. In the second column, list examples of shov in your life. Remember, shov is experiences that bring you to a peaceful state of being. Identify one area of your life where you can bring those two energies into balance with each other. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: The Sound of Light: Tension and Resolution
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How Do I Find Calm When the World Feels Out of Control?
December 7, 2026 @8:30pm
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Tags: anxiety, ratzo shov, inner peace
Posted in Soul Gym, Soul & Mystical, Spiritual | No Comments »
January 31st, 2017
Good morning, Sunshine! Are you ready for an exciting day at work? Are you ready to punch us in the face? We know — weekday mornings can be the beginning of a life-sucking slog. But they don’t have to be. These three inspirational thoughts can take your morning from “I’m sitting in traffic wanting to go back to bed and never get up” to “I love life!”
1. Manipulate The Situation In Your Favor With Stealth Soul Actions
Any job you do, even if it is a motivation-deadening cubicle hell job, can and should be a vehicle for who you are. The work itself might feel boring and meaningless, but you can manipulate the situation in your favor. Be a secret agent of yourself: Throughout the day, sneak in as many ways as possible to turn your work soulful. Your interactions with co-workers, clients, your boss, even the mindfulness that you practice while staring at the blue light of your computer monitor are all opportunities for stealth soul actions.
2. This One Simple Thing to Put On Your Desk Can Change Everything
Conventional wisdom says to put plants, photos of loved ones, small trinkets that remind you of good times on your desk to enliven your work environment. They can make your work space more pleasant, but they can’t shift your whole relationship to work. One simple item can change everything: Put a charity box on your desk. A charity box reminds you of the Divine purpose of your work. When your tasks seem banal, you can look at your charity box (or even put some coins into it) to affirm that you can literally transform your work into something that changes the world. A charity box also gives you an opportunity to talk to your coworkers about giving, good deeds, and spirituality — so it can help bring a greater sense of meaning to everybody on the job.
3. Your Obnoxious Coworkers and Boss Are A Laboratory for Your Self-Growth
Self-growth doesn’t happen on the meditation mat. It happens when you face painful and difficult situations with insight and in a better way than you did before. Obnoxious people are a gift — every annoying or insulting thing they say to you is an opportunity for you to work on yourself. Mindfulness, patience, communication skills, tolerance, assertiveness, preservation of dignity — these are all personality areas that most people need to work on. You can triumph over your personality problems by using your workplace interactions as a laboratory for self-growth. Come home from work every day knowing that you refined yourself and became a better person.
Exercise: Describe in detail as many things as possible that you could do to make your mornings more rewarding. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: Is There More to Life Than Your Job? All Articles About Business, Work & Money
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How to Find Meaning in Your Journey
Wednesday, July 27, 2022 @8:30pm
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Tags: work, career, money, charity
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Business, Work & Money | 2 Comments »
January 29th, 2017
Are you lonely? Misguided? Looking for love in all the wrong places? Depressed? Unmoored? Well then it could be time to find a spiritual guru. But don’t rush into it. Finding a spiritual guru takes a lot of due diligence. This is what you should look for in a spiritual guru:
1. Humility
A spiritual guru should be humble. Not fake humble, but truly in awe of the Creator. In all matters, a higher cause should come before his ego. Signs of humility are kindness to others, respect for himself and others, the ability to admit mistakes, the ability to listen, and being present rather than self-involved.
2. Depth and Breadth of Knowledge
If you’re thinking, “I need a spiritual guru,” it’s probably because you need some help connecting to a higher power. You’re probably looking for truth, and for a solid spiritual foundation for your own journey of personal growth. A spiritual guru should have a rock-solid foundation in his or her spiritual tradition’s doctrine and scripture. He or she should know it inside and out. He or she should never cover up a lack of knowledge with aggression or braggadocio. You should feel confident that your spiritual guru knows the heart of his or her religious tradition, as well as the details.
3. Integrity
A true spiritual guru walks the walk. He or she leads by example. His or her behavior should always be in accordance with his or her beliefs. When you need a spiritual guru, you need someone who can guide you in applying spiritual lessons to your life. You should see your spiritual guru always learning and teaching more, as well as doing his or her own personal growth work. A real spiritual guru will not claim to be perfect; what he or she will prove to be is very deeply knowledgeable of his or her spiritual tradition as well as a person of humility and integrity. He or she will always behave with dignity, and will always respect the dignity of other people.
Exercise: Consider what it would take for you to find a spiritual guru, and where you would benefit from help. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: How to Find a True Rabbi Part One; How to Find a True Rabbi Part Two
Tags: teachers, personalized spirituality
Posted in Soul Gym, Religion, Spiritual | No Comments »
January 27th, 2017
To be a good person, all you have to do is follow these nine daily steps!
- Wake up every day at 4 AM.
- Bathe in an antique tub with soap made from the milk of grass-fed goats.
- Dress in clothing that you knit yourself. Don’t make an exception for even your underpants.
- Meditate sitting in full lotus position for two hours. Do not move from full lotus!
- Eat a breakfast of oats that you grew and winnowed yourself. No coffee!
- Scrub your floors with baking soda and castile soap.
- Ride your vintage bicycle to work while planting flowers along the road.
- Sell products to the capitalist machine while you dream of living off the land in Hawaii.
- Spend an hour after work manifesting your dinner.
Just kidding! We had you there for a moment, didn’t we? Being a good person is quite simple, and requires no abstinence from gluten. The true key to being a good person is knowing that you, and everybody else, has a purpose in life.
What would your life be like if you went around fully aware that you matter, and that everybody else matters? Would you be able to be mean, be disrespectful, or be petty? What if you carried around the knowledge that whatever you do either supports your mission in life or detracts from it? What if you saw other people, and yourself, as souls rather than as bodies? Your behavior would probably be different.
If you want to be a good person, don’t do anything to others that you wouldn’t want done to yourself, and function from a place of security that you matter and that everybody else matters. Simply being alive is affirmation of that. Birth is a higher reality saying, “You matter.” If you truly knew that you mattered, it would be hard to waste time, to do petty crimes, to talk trash about people, to say nasty things to others, and to eat non-organic meat.
Gotcha again! Just kidding about the meat. When it comes to being a good person, it doesn’t matter if you eat meat or don’t eat meat. It especially doesn’t matter if the meat is organic. I’m sure you’ve met people who drink kale smoothies and act like egotistical monsters, and I’m sure you’ve met people who eat hot dogs and treat everybody (and themselves) like they are truly valuable — and the other way around.
Exercise: Identify the ways in which you matter. If you have trouble identifying them, list the steps you need to take to find them. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: Birth: The Mission Begins, All Excerpts from Toward a Meaningful Life
Tags: your mission, ego, humility, Divine purpose, purpose in life
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | No Comments »
