January 22nd, 2015
When Know is Yes
An illness occurs when there is a misalignment within us, when something is out of place or out of order. A cure is the process of realigning our natural selves so that everything is exactly as it should be. Therefore, Knowing the illness is half the cure
Habits: We all have them. Some are good (“I always brush my teeth before going to bed no matter how tired I am.”). Some are unhealthy (“I bite my toe nails.”). Some are downright annoying (“I like can’t like stop saying ‘like’ between like every word.”).
Have you ever tried to break a habit, only to do just the habit you were trying to break? We’ve all been there. Habits can seem unsurmountable. But, you should know that your habits are not who you are. Your seemingly involuntary actions are more voluntary than you think they are.
A habit develops when one’s brain becomes used to firing in a certain way. The way your neurons are fired is the way they are wired. When your brain fires towards a certain thing, before long the neurons become wired that way. When that happens, it becomes automatic for your brain to process in this way and thus the habit is born.
Negative habits rewire our natural selves in a misaligned and unhealthy way. Therefore, the cure would be to unravel this habit by dislodging the negative wires and realigning your being in healthy and positive ways.
The following eight steps, based on ancient knowledge of harnessing the true power of your mind, can help you to move beyond your bad habits. If you can pick up a habit, you can break it.
1 – KNOW THAT IT IS AN ILLNESS
Thinking your habit is healthy is like thinking pain is pleasure. Know that there is a problem.
2 – KNOW WHAT CAUSED THE ILLNESS
Was it boredom, loneliness, stress, thrill, or a specific event that caused you to establish a negative habit in the first place? Knowing why you developed the habit helps you to break it.
3 – KNOW WHAT THE ILLNESS IS–AND WHAT IT ISN’T
The illness is this bad habit. That’s it. You are not the illness. At your core is the cure to the illness. Know this and remember it.
4 – KNOW THAT IT IS A BATTLE
There is no magic potion. If there were, then that magic potion would become your habit. Know that it is going to be a battle, a hard-fought battle. But…
5 – KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOING TO WIN THIS BATTLE
Sing a victory march, even before you enter the battlefield. You have the confidence and certainty that you will win this war.
6 – KNOW THAT HABITS DESPISE KNOWING
Habits are automatic pilot; they are comfortably numb; they are preprogrammed templates followed effortlessly. Habits therefore cannot stand when someone asks them questions or puts them under the microscope. Therefore do both: ask your habits questions and examine them.
7 – ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU MUST NOW TAKE ACTION
Half the cure is not the whole cure. Thank heaven. If knowing an illness alone would rid you of your habits, then people would just spend their days dissecting illnesses. Just understanding the habit will not break the habit. The other half is to…
8 – KNOW THE CURE
Every moment of every day is a revolution in the making. Know that your soul thrives on movement. Breaking all of your habits, not just the bad ones, is the cure to overcoming bad habits.
When you feel yourself acting out that bad habit, stop right at that moment and choose to do something different. Refuse to live habitually.
For instance: If you are biting your nails, take your hands out of your mouth and do something unusual with them. You could sit on your hands, or you could tap your fingers together. Just do something different!
As a non-threatening exercise for yourself, practice breaking neutral habits just for the sake of learning to bring more consciousness to your actions. If your habit is to shampoo your hair before you wash your body, reverse the order of your cleansing in your morning shower. If you always drive to work the same route, try driving an alternate route one day, even for just part of the drive. If you’re accustomed to pouring milk into your coffee, try pouring coffee into milk.
Your brain is like a map. The more you walk down certain paths, the more beaten those paths become. The human being’s purpose is not to follow old maps but to write new ones. The human being’s purpose is not to live in habit, walking where walking is the norm. No, the human being is meant to run wherever it is habitual to walk; and where it is habitual to run, the human is meant to fly. Just knowing this is already half of a new map. You are here.
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
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How to Break Bad Habits and Build Good Ones
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January 22nd, 2015
5 Stations to Break Free from the Shackles
Addiction happens when a person becomes so committed to a certain object of desire that instead of controlling the object of desire, the object of desire controls the individual. The object of desire can be a substance (like alcohol or drugs), an activity (like eating), or a sensation (like the feeling of an adrenaline rush). There comes a point when an addict will do anything to feed the addiction, even defiling things the individual would normally hold sacred.
With such seemingly unbreakable bonds grabbing hold of a person, what possible steps can someone take to break this chokehold? There are legions of anti-addiction programs and therapies. The effectiveness of various therapies or programs depends on the unique makeup of the person, and on the program itself. This article is not meant to replace a program of recovery. If you are an addict, please seek help from an established recovery center, recovery group, or therapist. This article, rather, aims to demonstrate the role that the soul plays in recovery from addiction.
One must differentiate between an object of desire and the power of desire
– The Alter Rebbe
Picture your life as a train: A train rumbles down the tracks. Car after car, one hitched to another like letters in a word. There is a dining car, a sleeper car, a bar car, a baggage car; and an assortment of passenger cars, first-class, business, and coach. At the head of the train, churns the engine, chartering its course, pulling every single one of these cars along. Not one of the cars moves on its own.
Your life is like a train. Comprised of many cars, one hitched to the next like letters in a word. Your dining car is where you eat. Your sleeper car is where you repose. Your baggage car is where you store past experiences. Sometimes you reside in first-class; other times your life feels like coach, with very little legroom.
At the head of the train churns your engine, your Divine Spark, which powers the entire locomotive that is your life. Your soul is the engine of your life. Without the engine, nothing is mobile and all cars stand still.
Addiction is when a rickety, dangerous car gloms on to your train. No matter how hard you try – oh, and you do try hard – you cannot get rid of this poisonous car. The car sometimes totally derails the train, but sometimes fades into the line of cars so well that it appears to not even be a problem anymore. Yet sooner or later that rusty, ruinous addiction car will push the train of your life off the track again.
The following steps cannot be accomplished alone; addiction is a disease of isolation. Just as an actual train would need a whole train maintenance crew and some heavy machinery to take a defective car out of its line of cars, you need a recovery community in order to break your addiction. The following four steps are steps to strengthen your soul so that you are able to approach and sustain a recovery program.
1ST STATION – KNOW YOUR ENGINE
The first step in removing a poisonous car, to which you are addicted, is to differentiate between the cars of the train and its engine. Knowing the difference between the powerful force that pulls the train, and the immobile train cars that are being pulled by the engine is essential. Your objects of desire, whatever they may be, are the cars on the train; the power of desire, the ability to energize something, is the engine at the head of the train.
The first step is getting to know your engine – and its infinite power. Your soul is the engine and you must get acquainted with it. Your authentic self is not that dilapidated car that threatens to derail your life; the real you is your soul.
2NDSTATION – IDLE WORSHIP
An engine has to pull something – that’s what engines do. The more powerful the engine, the more powerful is its need to pull. Having an addiction does not mean that you are weak. Having an addiction means that you have all of the passion necessary to lead a healthy and fulfilling life, but that you are currently using all that energy to lug around a bad habit.
Therefore…
3RD STATION – ADD A CAR
Hitch a new car to the train, preferably between the engine at the head of the train and that poisonous addictive car at the back of the train. Call it a study car, where you go for an hour a day to learn something deep and meaningful; or call it the prayer car, where you go to pray as soon as you wake up in the morning and before you go to sleep at night.
This accomplishes two things: 1) it provides your engine with something meaningful to energize and empower; and 2) it pushes that addictive car further back from the engine, to the rear of the train.
The more positive cars you add, the better.
4TH – UNHITCH IT
Unscrew another bolt from the addiction car by thinking of your engine, how holy and divine and pure it is. “How could I ever allow such a beautiful engine – a pure piece of the Divine – to drive such an impure car? I cannot!” Spend time crying for your true self, which has been covered up by your addiction. Comfort your true self and apologize to it. Treat your true self as if it were a fragile baby.
5TH – FORWARD MOVEMENT
The beauty of life and trains is that they move quickly. Things that move quickly leave anything that is not wholly and securely connected to them in the dust. Beginning a program of recovery, one which very well might include relapsing, requires commitment to keep moving even when you feel like you have become totally stuck. You must remember that every step of your recovery from addiction might not look perfect, but every step will bring you closer to your true self. The operative thing is to persist. Move away from what harms you and toward what makes you feel whole and dignified.
DESTINATION
Keeping an eye on the destination is the key to keeping the train
of your life on track
We call it: Light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel vision. It is the vision that an addict must maintain in order to recover. There will be times when recovery feels smooth and easy, and there will be times when it is the hardest fight of your life. Keeping an eye on the destination is the key to keeping the train of your life on track.
For an active addict (versus an addict in recovery), the destination of any journey is the addiction itself. The addict will dedicate all of his resources, time, money, and energy to feeding his addiction. This destination is the addict’s sole focus. This goal becomes the addict’s purpose.
To counteract this, we must remember and realize that we as human beings have a very specific and meaningful mission on this earth, one that is much greater and more powerful than any object of addiction.
Ultimately, by doing everything in your power to reaching your goal of honoring and strengthening your true, whole, pure self, you divert your attention away from any other goal. By dedicating all of your resources, time, money, and energy to realizing your truepotential, you will give yourself the strength and commitment necessary to recover.
As with our analogy: Remember that your train’s goal and destination is one of purity and light; and darkness has no place here.
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Kabbalah and Addiction: A 12 Step Program
Wednesday, March 23, 2022 @8:30pm
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Tags: alcohol, drugs, healing, addiction, Living 101
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January 22nd, 2015
Is Leadership More About What You Have or What You Don’t?
The purpose and intent [of a true leader] shall be to elevate mankind’s faith, and to fill the world with justice – Maimonides, Laws of Kings, 4:10
Everyone must be a leader – The Rebbe
Are you a follower or a leader? Are you compelled to initiate a journey or would you rather follow a template?
There is, by and large, a general crisis in leadership. So dire is the situation that we don’t even have a clear definition of what exactly leadership consists of. What is a leader? Who is a leader? Why do we need leaders? It seems as if everyone has a different idea and we need a leader just to answer all of our leadership questions.
Is leadership a political position, or perhaps a charismatic presence? Might the ultimate leader be tall and good-looking, or maybe intelligent and well-financed?
The conventional approach to leadership has questionable results at best. Let us therefore take an entirely different approach, one that focuses less on what leadership is and more on what leadership is not. Perhaps by discovering what a leader is not we can come to understand what a leader is. By removing the rough we might just come to grasp the diamond. By removing the noise we might just hear the finest of songs.
A LEADER IS NOT…
…A SCARCITY
Every single human begin is a leader. Period. Simply knowing that leadership is not an exclusive club, but is at the core of every one of us, inspires us to lead. The challenge is not to become a leader. The challenge is to embrace the leader you already are, the aspect of leadership that is part of your inner self. For that, it is good to know that A LEADER IS NOT…
…ARROGANT
Your ability to lead is not of your own invention. Like your ability to see, your ability to lead is a gift you are born with. Does eyesight make a person arrogant every time he or she sees something? Neither shall leadership make a person arrogant every time he or she leads. If anything, the more he or she leads, the humbler a leader becomes. Because A LEADER IS NOT…
…SELF-INTERESTED
A leader is not served. A leader serves. A leader’s own interests are inconsequential. A leader serves a higher interest. A leader’s job is to demonstrate to everyone he meets or everything she touches that there is something more here than meets the eye, a higher vision and a deeper purpose. By drawing on a higher source, a leader represents not what the world is but what the world could be. And the leader is confident in this because A LEADER IS NOT…
…THE FIRST
A leader is a link in a chain of depth and reality. Every leader emulates the leaders that came before. Every one of us is another link in the chain of existence; and every link connects to the links before and the links after. Leadership is embracing your role in this cosmic progression and sublime symphony. Knowing that you are not the first but part of a greater chain, also teaches you that A LEADER IS NOT…
…FOLLOWED
A true leader does not desire followers. A true leader inspires others to find leadsership within themselves. Leaders are not worshipped. Leaders worship a higher power. By inspiring more leaders, A LEADER IS NOT…
…A MANAGER
Do not confuse the two. Managers — and most presidents and CEO fall into this category — are meant to ensure that massive enterprises, with many moving parts, work as efficiently and seamlessly as possible. Leaders are all about new possibilities. Pre-existing realities require management. Creating new realities requires leadership. Management is necessary, the same way traffic lights are necessary — they both facilitate efficient movement. But they are not movement itself. A leader moves with new perspective, inspiring the world to abandon a narrow field of vision. And yet, A LEADER IS NOT…
Leadership is a not a fantasy; rather, the leader turns
fantasy into reality
…ABSTRACT
Especially in spiritual or soulful contexts, utopian ideas can seem unrealistic. True leadership effects practical change in the real world. Leadership is a not a fantasy; rather, the leader turns fantasy into reality. To help concretize this, one should remember that A LEADER IS NOT…
…EVERYWHERE
As a leader, all that’s required of you is to begin leading in one thing. perhaps give a class, or say something nice to your coworker. And lest you think, I don’t know anything about leadership, remember this: A LEADER IS NOT…
…AN EXPERT
A person does not have to be a leadership expert to lead, just as a person does not have to be an optical expert to see. When someone is parched with thirst, you do not attend a workshop on the nuances of water — you simply give that person a drink. We live in a very parched world, thirsty for purpose and meaning. You simply have to share the water you have. And by ‘you’ we mean you, because A LEADER IS NOT…
…SOMEONE ELSE
A leader is not many things: A leader is not a scarcity, is not arrogant, is not self-interested, is not the first, is not followed, is not a manager, is not abstract, is not everywhere, is not an expert, and is certainly not someone else. A LEADER IS SIMPLY ONE THING:
…YOU!
A true leader shakes people from their reverie and tells them, “No, you don’t need to live a life of desperation and confusion. Yes, you do have the ability to find meaning in your life, and the unique skills to fulfill that meaning. You are an important link in a chain of generations past; you have a legacy worth preserving and a future worth fighting for.”
A true leader shows us that our world is indeed heading somewhere and that we control its movement. That we need not be at the mercy of personal prejudices or the prevailing political wind. That none of us are subservient to history or nature — that we are history and nature. That we can rid the world of war and hate and ignorance, and obliterate the borders separating race from race, rich from poor.
Leaders show us new ways and new perspectives. They teach and inspire us to lead in the same way, to show the world a new perspective and a sublime level.
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
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Are You a Leader or a Follower?
Wednesday, February 5, 2025 @8:30pm
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Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Social, Business, Work & Money, Government, Emotions & Psychology | 4 Comments »
January 22nd, 2015
How to Discover Your Unique Mission
A business cannot function without a mission statement. Neither can you.
Everything in existence has a reason for being, a raison d’etre, a central mission that it — and it alone — has to fulfill and around which all of its energies revolve: the sun’s mission is to shine; the water’s is to hydrate; and the bird’s is to fly. Every creation knows its mission and exists solely to fulfill it.
Every human being also has a mission. But the human is unique: whereas all creations except for humans have been told their specific mission, the human being has to figure it out. Indeed, the human even has the luxury of denying the idea of a mission altogether. It would have been nice if we came with an instruction manual stating our mission. But we weren’t! The fact that we don’t have that luxury tells us that part of the mission is to discover the mission on our own.
A mission statement is not generic but is one that is unique to YOU. Unearthing your own mission is no easy feat. Thankfully, we are given many signs and directions on how to do so.
POPP
POPP is an acronym for Personality, Opportunity, People, and Places. These four things are the POPP of your life—they can help you discover and implement your mission. These four dynamics contain a myriad of valuable information.
Therein lies the key to discovering your particular mission: Look closely at your life experiences and you will see patterns emerge that will direct you toward your calling.
PERSONALITY
You have an inimitable personality. Your characteristics—both innate and cultivated—define your unique nature. The way you think, the way you feel, the way you dress, the way you communicate, the way you look—these are all attributes exclusive to you.
All the details of your temperament and disposition—both the positive and the negative, both your qualities and your weaknesses—are all signposts leading you to your mission. You can bet that your mission includes utilizing your positive attributes while cultivating your negative attributes to refine yourself and the world.
Self-awareness is the first step in mission-awareness; self-discovery is the first step in mission-discovery. Know your own unique personality, and you are a step closer to understanding your mission.
Example: An artist could use his skill to open up people to new ways of looking at life. A sensitive soul must utilize her empathy to give people hope.
OPPORTUNITY
You were blessed with particular opportunities. Family and friends provide various connections, which can open up all sorts of opportunities. Education is another source of unique opportunity, as is also the resources you have earned or inherited. Different offers will come your way throughout your life. Your family’s business, a friend’s introduction, even a seemingly “random” encounter may bring you new opportunities.
You have many opportunities, be they professional or personal, earned or inherited. When recognized for what they truly are, these opportunities become fundamental markers to discovering and fulfilling your mission.
Example: A physician can illuminate the Divine Image of global human body by understanding the Divine Image of the individual human body.
If you have a trust fund, trust that it is there for you to change the world.
If you work in a cubicle, you spend a lot of your time at the water cooler. Share a meaningful tidbit at one of your many rehydration breaks and your mission might just bubble to the surface.
PEOPLE
The people you have met and will meet in your life—family, friends, co-workers, even so called “random” encounters with strangers—all carry sparks of ignition that can further direct you in discovering your mission.
These people have their strengths and weaknesses. The fact that they are part of your life means that your mission includes dealing with them, even if the relationship may be a challenging one. In addition, you learn lessons from these people, which teach you about your mission. Any one of these people can also be mentors, helping you discover yourself and your calling.
Example: Your mother-in-law may be there to keep you humble.
Your mailman may teach you that you too are delivering some sort of message to some specific address.
The trials of life that your best friend goes through might teach you about your own capacity to help others.
PLACES
The places you have been—where you live, where you travel to, are part of your POPP. The routes you take add another dimension to your mission’s mapmaking. Each place has its own character and offers unique possibilities. Even a seemingly inconsequential detour, even one that frustrates you, may be an integral part on the path to your mission. Wherever you are is where your mission is.
From the mission’s standpoint, when you find yourself in a certain place, you literally find yourself in that place. And finding yourself in a certain place is also discovering your mission in that place.
Example: If you live in a tiny apartment in an urban building, invite your floor to a monthly meaningful gathering. If you live in a big house in the suburbs, maybe that extra bedroom is waiting for a guest.
Traveling to a country in which the culture is totally different from your own can show you what you truly value and don’t value.
YOU ARE CO-MISSIONED
The first step in accomplishing your mission is to identify what your mission is. Finding your mission is a challenge because you were not born clutching a paper that says, “Your mission is this-and-this.” Animals have it easy—their missions are pre-programmed into them. Yet, you as a human are not just another creation. You were created with a human soul and with the capacity to reason. You maintain a special kind of dignity, the kind that comes with the ability to make choices, which is unique to humans. As a human, you have the unique ability to look at your POPP (your personality, opportunities, people and places) to find out your unique mission. The fact that humans do not come with instruction manuals is a sure sign that finding our missions is part of the journey.
It may take some work to review your POPP. It’s always a good idea to consult with an objective friend who can help you look at these four areas, and see how they define your mission. The more you invest in this discovery, the clearer your results will be.
Once you come to recognize your calling, all your tools and resources will take on a new and focused direction. May you be blessed to discover and embrace your mission and implement it in your daily routines.
In fact, you can say goodbye to your routines, for when you know your mission even the most basic activities are charged with meaning.
Tags: Living 101, purpose of life, meaning
Posted in Your Mission, Your Purpose, Soul & Mystical, Personal Life, Spiritual, Emotions & Psychology | 4 Comments »
January 22nd, 2015
How Questioning Unfathomable Suffering Can Help us Cope
He will call Me and I shall answer him; I am with him in distress; I shall rescue him and I shall honor him — Psalms 91:15
Where is G-d? Wherever you let Him in — Menachem Mendel of Kotzk
Holy Temples are destroyed; sacred sanctuaries are shattered; bodies of peace are desecrated, defiled, and dehumanized. There is such darkness in this world, such unbearable pain, such untold suffering.
Where is G-d in all of this? When the darkness enshrouds and the pain trembles, where is the Creator of these temples, these children, these lives?
“Where is G-d when I cry?” Perhaps we can say that G-D IS IN…
…THE QUESTION
Asking where G-d is in times of pain acknowledges the fundamental contradiction between G-d and pain. Pain is darkness and G-d is light. Asking, “Where is G-d when I cry?” is tantamount to asking, “How is it possible for pain to exist in such a Divine world?” The question is the dream and belief in the world’s potential; and the pain is in the realization that the world is not living up to it.
To ask is the ultimate act of faith. To ask is the first step in overcoming the pain, but we all want answers. However, know that G-D IS IN…
…THE SILENCE
There is no answer other than silence. To question the pain is essential. To answer it is impossible. To question the pain is an act of sensitivity. To answer it is an act of callousness. Pain reaches the unfathomable recesses of the soul; answers are mere intellectual exercises.
Sometimes we are silent because we have not found the right words. Other times we are silent because the right words do not exist.
In times of pain, G-d is silent. But G-d is silent not because G-d has nothing to say. G-d is silent because G-d is crying.
And G-d is crying because G-D IS IN…
…THE HEARTBREAK
How is it even possible for a heart to break? How is possible for human dignity to be destroyed? How is it possible for murder, for illness, for suffering to exist in this world? How can the world be so broken?
Every time a heart shatters, a piece of the Universal Heart shatters as well. Every time a mother feels pain for her child, the pain ripples across all the layers of existence. The grief is magnified and it is unbearable.
The pain is unbearable precisely because of the joy that could be in its stead. Death is so acrid precisely because of the vibrancy of the life it tries to replace. Heartbreak is so painful precisely because hearts are meant to be whole. Divisiveness and hate are so sorrowful precisely because G-d is complete.
But, just as a part of G-d is in the heartbreak, so too a part of G-D IS IN…
…THE LIGHT
Our hearts are broken; but our broken hearts inspire us to fix the world. When we see darkness, we demand more light. This part of us, this unbreakable spirit, this perpetual resolve, this eternal flame, is the most Divine part of who we are. This light, this light that illuminates darkness itself, is where G-d can really be found. When we demand joy, and create light, it is in this that G-d is found. ForG-D IS IN…
…THE BRIDGE
Pain is not rational. Body and soul are meant to be together as one; the division of body and soul is destruction. Pain is a result of the irrational division of body and soul. It does not have to be this way and when it is, it is a tragedy.
This is why G-d cries. And this is why we cry together with G-d.
Death itself is the greatest sin against G-d; it is the greatest antithesis to G-d. Death is an aberration. Why should a soul ever have to leave a body?
But then we begin to rebuild the bridge between body and soul, between matter and spirit, between heaven and earth. And it is in this bridge that G-d is most present.
The bridge may not be our answer to pain, but it is our unequivocal response. And, unquestionably, G-D IS IN…
…THE RESPONSE
There is no answer to the question. But there is a response—a very emphatic response. We respond to pain like never before, we respond with a light force greater than the dark force.
Answers are rationalizations. However, pain touches the very core of who we are, a place much deeper than rationalizations. Reponses too come from the very core.
An answer is philosophical. A response is personal. An answer attempts to cool your hot tears. A response turns your hot tears into hotter fires.
The response ensures that the acute pain does not destroy your life but that your acute life destroys the pain.
Know that G-d is in the response to pain. What is pain? Pain is a nerve telling you that something is terribly wrong. The response is fixing that wrong. And you fix that wrong by ultimately realizing that G-D IS IN…
…YOUR ACTION
Pain occurs when matter and spirit are divided. The antidote is to do everything in your power to unite that divide. For every loss of life, nurture new life. For every death, birth new positive actions. For every extinguished wick, help another person to find his or her own inner light.
Yes, G-d is with us in our pain. And the proof is in the action we take to eradicate the pain.
The question, “Where is G-d when I cry?” is the same question as, “Where is G-d?”
The answer is that G-D IS IN…
…EVERYTHING. (ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LET HIM IN.)
Exercise: List one situation where you want to have empathy. Explore how you can apply a higher level of empathy in this situation. Record your answer in MyMLC.
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Where is G-d When I Cry?
July 30, 2025 @8:30pm
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Tags: healing, Living 101, trauma
Posted in Tisha B'Av, Good & Evil, Faith, Months & Holidays, Soul Gym, Beliefs & Concepts, Personal Life, Torah, Emotions & Psychology, Pain & Suffering, Av | 4 Comments »
January 22nd, 2015
Dispelling 7 Myths about Reward and Punishment
The reward of a mitzvah is the mitzvah, and the reward of a sin is the sin
– Ethics of our Fathers 4:2
This means: through its reward – the light it generates – one can know a mitzvah’s essence and standing
– Tanya, Ch. 39
Only through corporeal action does the spiritual become the physical
– Tanya, Ch. 35
Everyone is a critic. Thank G-d.
Perhaps the number-one subject of critique is G-d. And it isn’t a great stretch to suppose that the number-one critique of G-d is this idea of reward and punishment.
Says the sanctimonious preacher: You know why this terrible thing happened to you? Because you were bad, because you sinned, because you have angered G-d.
This is probably the single most unG-dly thing a person can say.
But what then is reward and punishment?
Perhaps an analogy is in order: If one eats a pound of chopped liver, wrapped in a yard of salami, breaded in globs of challah, and deep-fried in duck fat, one will, in all likelihood, get very fat. Is this a punishment? Or a consequence of actions taken and decisions made?
The Creator instills into every sequence a consequence[1]. into every action a reaction (or many). If you flick on the light switch, the room will be illuminated; if you smash the light bulb, the room will get dark. When we love someone, a light flickers on. When we hate someone, a light bulb shatters.
The spiritual truth is that we do not usually experience the full consequences of our actions. This makes our decision-making process more challenging.
To illustrate what we mean about the dance of action and reaction existing rather than a push-pull between reward and punishment, we give you seven myths and facts about the ancient mystical Jewish view on the relationship between our choices and their outcomes:
MYTH 1: Reward and punishment is similar to that of an employer/employee relationship. When the employee does a good job, the employee gets paid; when the employee does a bad job, the employee gets fired. When we do good deeds, we get paid; when we sin, we get fired.
TRUTH: Reward and punishment is similar to an artist/art relationship. When the artist invests deep energy and hard work, the result will be beautiful art; when the artist gets lazy and does bad work (in spiritual terms, a sin) the results will be bad art.
When we live our lives righteously, fulfilling our true missions and doing good deeds, we create beautiful art. When we live our lives cynically, wastefully, the art is barbed in acid.
MYTH 2: If I am bad, God will strike me with lightning.
TRUTH: It’s like a car: If you drive a car without refilling the gas, the inevitable outcome will be that you will stall somewhere, usually unpleasant and far from a gas station.
The inevitable outcome of not filling up your gas tank, your soul, is more unpleasant than being struck by lightning. If you fill your life with negativity and materialism, the outcome is that your life will be full of negativity and materialism. The outcome would not be getting struck by lightning.
MYTH 3: I can say that a person suffers because that person has sinned.
TRUTH: Human beings cannot comprehend the why’s and how’s of Divine providence—it is true hubris for a person to try to get into the “head” of G-d.
Life is an ocean, and all of humanity travels it currents on one single boat. Perhaps another person on the other side of the boat is drowning because of the hole under your seat. Best ensure that you are perfect before you suggest another is not.
MYTH 4: If I do good deeds, and live righteously, I will know only joy and never know pain.
TRUTH: This is one myth we wish were true. Unfortunately, until the world is perfect we all suffer the consequences. How is it that an impure killer can murder a righteous person? Is this righteousness and is this it’s reward? This is a question that only G-d can answer.
But suffice it to say: Nothing, no evil at all, can kill righteousness; and nothing, nothing at all, is worse punishment than being evil.
MYTH 5: We must fear G-d.
TRUTH: We must be in awe of the wonderment of reality. A child fears something bad or scary, like a monster under his bed. Mature adults stand in awe of something greater than they are.
Knowing the awesome power of each and every one of our actions, how could we not stand in wonderment of the consequences built therein?
MYTH 6: We should do good in this world and fulfill our true missions in life in order to reap the rewards. Likewise, we should not do unwholesome things so as not to get punished.
TRUTH: We should do good things in the world because our positive actions reveal light in the darkest places. We have a choice between adding light or darkness to the world. At any time, the choice is yours. There is no neutral space. All things in life can be done with purpose, meaning, and positivity—or they can be done with resentment and negativity.
MYTH 7: The greatest reward of good deeds is eternal paradise.
TRUTH: The Sages said, “The reward of a mitzvah is the mitzvah.” (Ethics of the Fathers 4:2)
Eternal paradise, whatever that means, sounds great. But that is not why our souls left eternal paradise in the first place to come down into this physical world, a physical world that often resembles hell more than heaven.
The greatest reward a person can have is the good deed itself. Being a light unto the world is the greatest reward. And the greatest punishment that anyone can get for doing something negative is the fact that this negativity touches him or her.
CONSEQUENTIALLY
Understanding reward and punishment as action and reaction, sequence and consequence, lends humbling importance to every single one of our actions, every movement we make, and every deed we perform.
The importance of each deed is not only personal but it is also global. When we do a positive deed, it personally affects us positively, but it also positively affects someone across the globe. And the opposite is true is well.
ACTION
Before you do anything, before you say a word, before you touch someone, before you write an email or send a text, ask yourself, What will the consequences of my action be? Will my action light a candle or smash a light bulb?
This question can change the world, one action (with many reactions) at a time.
[1]. See Shalah, Beit Achron, 12:1-2.
This is an excerpt from: Deluge In Texas: Lessons for Us
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January 20th, 2015
Is the mystique and the romance, the music and the moonlight,
just nature’s way of hoodwinking males and females to reproduce?
What is the secret to love? So much has been written about love and relationships that one can wonder what more can be added that hasn’t been said before? Yet, as long as healthy love remains elusive and we continue to grapple with building and maintaining enduring relationships, clearly there are missing ingredients.
As we continue to search for the secret formula to finding love and not losing it, here are several love words to help us unlock the heart to the mystery of love.
LOVE HANDLES
The greatest distance in the world is from the heart to the mind.
Before love handles you, you had best get a handle on love. This is the trick: While you are in love, you can’t rationally understand love. Love communicates in the language of the heart; understanding is the language of the mind. This is why you will find so many incomprehensibly hurtful relationships. Once you are in your heart, you are out of your mind. The key is to understand love before love doesn’t allow you to. This is done through healthy education, starting at day one of your (and your children’s) existence.
LOVE GLOW
You first have to melt yourself before you shine as one with another. We live in a material world. A fundamental of matter is definition, where every element is specifically defined. One physical object is not another physical object. Love is the exact opposite of defined matter. Love is undefined spirit. Love is the spiritual process of two defined material objects becoming one indefinable spiritual core. Ever notice the glow of an old couple who are in love after many, many years of marriage? Long-term love is like two nuggets of gold melting together. The nuggets must melt before they fuse into one brilliant piece of polished gold.
LOVE TRIANGLE
Love consists of three points, which form a triangle: 1) you, 2) the person you love, and 3) the Creator of both of you; an element of spirituality, the quest for something divine. A line between two points is wonderful but it is not love. Love is a triangle, between man, woman, and a spiritual presence of the Creator. Spirituality is the element that takes two one-dimensional points and turns them into a tripod upon which the world can stand. The spiritual dimension of a relationship is what differentiates true love from other relationships.
LOVE BOAT
Love is a boat. And love is also an anchor. The world is a raging ocean. Love allows you to ride the waves with confidence and agility. And love also anchors you into the unwavering ocean bed of what really matters. It seems almost paradoxical: How can love make me more flexible while also making me more grounded? This is only because, like the greatest of truths, love is a bridge between opposites.
LOVE NEST
Falling in love is easy. Some people fall in love every hour on the hour. After all, with gravity and all, falling into anything isn’t exactly rocket science. The hard part is rising in love, ascending to new heights because of love, transcending predictable patterns because of love. Rising in love is done through nesting. The nest you and your spouse build is how we take the indefinable spirit that is love and concretize it in this here defined material world. It is called building an everlasting edifice in a very material way with a very eternal spirit.
LOVE BIRD
Birds are best known for their wings by which they fly. The bird is the symbol of freedom, the ability to soar to unfathomable heights. A love that puts you in a cage is not love. A love that allows you to walk is not love. A love that inspires you to run is not love. A love that makes you want to jump up and down is not love. But a love that inspires you to fly? Now that is a true love. Love takes you to a higher place.
While we can rely on these cute epitaphs to tune into the language of love, there is one — though not sole — thing to remember about love. Love is all about becoming greater than you are on your own. Such a process requires self-refinement and spiritual growth on the part of both people in the relationship. True love requires effort.
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January 20th, 2015
From where do we know money?
For it is written: “I am giving the money for the field; take it from me.”Â
— Talmud, Kiddushin 2a; Genesis 23:13
In this shopping season, the malls teem with rivers of coupon-wielding humanity, rushing through the aisles, washing up against the shelves, salivating for deals.
In this four-week period, between offline shopping (where you have to wait on line) and online shopping (where you don’t), hundreds of billions of dollars’ worth of sales are processed and transacted. In fact, the world’s largest retailer, Walmart, does more than a quarter of its annual business in this one-month shopping window alone.
What, if any, is the soulful component to the shopping craze?
As we look for that perfect Holiday gift, or just for a good deal in general, let’s bring along some of the following spiritual shopping tools in our totes.
SALESPERSON
A sale is a transaction between two parties. This is one of the greatest gifts the Creator of reality has bestowed upon us: the ability for two seemingly disconnected entities to interact. We could have been created as self-sufficient beings, independent islands within the vast ocean of existence. But we weren’t. Instead, we were created as interdependent entities, where I need you and you need me. This tells us that by interacting and transacting we are in fact enriching each others’ lives and fulfilling the very purpose of existence.
PRICE TAG
The reason things cost money is because we as consumers value them. The challenge is to translate that monetary worth into more transcendent worth. When we make a blessing before consuming a food item that we have purchased, we are stating that this item has an intrinsic value that transcends its price tag and surpasses the barcode scan. When we use an expensive purchase (for example, a computer) for divine ends (such as raising money for charity), we are essentially revealing how rich that product really is.
THE MALL ELEVATOR
The term “consumer” implies someone that consumes and devours, thereby making the consumed item less than it originally was. The Spiritual Shopper, however, does not consume, but rather elevates. Everything we purchase, in addition to being a wonderful material item, is a means to a spiritual achievement. As a Spiritual Shopper, one never makes an item less than it originally was, but elevates that item to the peaks of what it truly can be.
For example, a consumer buys a box of chocolates and devours them just for the enjoyment of eating. A Spiritual Shopper buys a box of chocolates, makes a blessing before and after eating the chocolates, eats the chocolates with gratitude to the Creator of chocolates, and then uses the energy he receives from the chocolates to do good deeds.
PURCHASING POWER
In the very physical, material, empirical world in which we live, a purchase is one of the most concrete ways to make a statement. Sure, words are nice, as are thoughts, and certainly feelings; but the way to really effect change in a tangible way is through our actions and transactions. When we purchase a home and turn it into a divine dwelling, it is a profound act; when we buy a car and use it to drive an elderly grandmother to the store, that is a revolutionary deed; when we get a good deal on a product and give the money saved to charity, we have changed the world.
CHECKOUT LINE
In general, we may look at everything we buy in one of two ways: 1) objects that fulfill our needs and desires; or 2) means for us to fulfill our purpose here on this earth.
The Physical Shopper buys things to fill a void in his/her life: I need a gift, I lack a shirt, I want that gadget.
The Spiritual Shopper buys things to fulfill a void in the world: how can this gift make the world more complete? How can I clothe the needy? How can this gadget convey a sublime message?
This holiday season, let your internal Spiritual Shopper take charge of your shopping cart.
Thank you and you’re welcome.
Tags: spiritual and material, Living 101, materialism
Posted in Soul & Mystical, Months & Holidays, Chanukah, Kislev, Personal Life, Spiritual, Torah, Business, Work & Money | 1 Comment »
January 20th, 2015
CHANUKAH: THE HUMAN MENORAH
And you shall make a menorah of pure gold
– Exodus 25:31
INTRODUCTION
When the nights get longer and the temperatures lower, the menorah exemplifies our ability to light up the night, to warm up the frost.
The menorah is a pretty basic object. A base with eight branches, cups to hold candles or oil, fuel, wicks, a match to ignite — and, viola, a ballet of brilliant flame!
Do-it-yourself menorahs are quite common this time of year. Take some sort of material, a little arts here, a little crafts there, and you have yourself a handcrafted, bespoke fixture of light.
Can we apply these basic elements to transform our personal lives into menorahs? Can we, as human beings, become fixtures of light in everything we do?
It is one thing to fashion a menorah out of gold or silver. Can we fashion a menorah out of our own flesh and blood?
Well, we can definitely try.
1. BASE LINES
All about that base, no treble.
For a menorah to be a viable luminary it must have a solid foundation. This baseline allows an instrument of light to flourish in all environments, no matter how cold or dark. For our menorahs to stand steadfast and proud, we should build them upon the unequivocal essence of who we are, the constant that is our soul.
2. BRANCH OUT
An embrace requires opening of arms.
Our lives consist of many facets: from family and community to work and entertainment, and everything in between. To turn our multidimensional lives into a menorah, it isn’t enough to be light in one area of life; as a menorah we strive to be lights in its branches.
3. WORLD CUP
Try drinking without a cup.
In every branch of life, we must make a receptacle by which to build our flames and receive our light. Branching out alone is not enough. Picture a vast pool of water, whose width and breadth and depth seem limitless. Do we not need to cup our hands to drink its refreshing delight? Every branch of life is a vast ocean of energy. We need to create the structure and definition — the cup that will contain and utilize its luminary potential.
4. FUEL EFFICIENT
If machines require it, how much more so do people?
Once we make a vessel, we have to fill it with the appropriate fuel. Fuel comes in many forms, ranging form the purest to the crudest. The purer the fuel the purer the light. Generally speaking, the deeper we have to dig to find the fuel, the better the quality of the fuel. Prayer is a great source of fuel, as is study, as is self-reflection.
5. WICK IT
Wick is to fuel what piano is to music.
Fuel alone does not create light. We need a wick, something dry and simple to imbed itself into the fuel so as to ignite it. The simpler and less sophisticated the wick, the better a conduit it will be. Matter at its most material is the best vehicle for the spiritual. Turning a wooden table into a Shabbat table is wicking our fuel; as is giving a material dollar to charity.
6. MATCH MAKER
Can one burn without igniting?
Fuel and wick still do not a flame make. We need to ignite, to get inspired, to spark ourselves with something meaningful. Sometimes it can be a simple conversation, sometimes it can be a profound experience, sometimes it can be through innocently surfing the World Wide Web and stumbling upon an article. They are called sparkplugs because they spark us up and plug us in. And once we are sparked…
7. FLAME BUOYANT
They don’t have to be told to reach upward.
Flames never stop dancing, and always burn upward. Even if we hold a candle down, the flame will gravitate upward. Transforming ourselves into menorahs is the process of always reaching higher, always striving for more, never ceasing to flicker and dance. Though at times life may knock us down, as flames we always reach upward. Though at times our legs may seem shackled, as menorah flames we never stop dancing.
8. SOCIAL LIGHT
The luminance is communal and communicable.
When all the previous seven elements are in place, the result is light. Light is a wonderful thing, unselfish in the extreme. Usually, two people cannot enjoy the same thing without compromise. If two people share a latke, the more one person eats the less is left over for the other. Light is the exact opposite: When one lights a menorah alone, in private, it is nice; but when one lights a menorah in public, with a group of people, the light seems to miraculously multiply.
A drop of oily donut can feed one person; but a drop of pure oil can illuminate the whole world.
RISE AND SHINE
The menorah is an instrument of light. And so are we.
Chanukah, the Festival of Lights, is a celebration of a historical miracle. But no less significantly, Chanukah is the celebration of a present-day miracle: the miracle of you and I lighting up the world.
Some menorahs are made of gold, some of silver, some of plastic. The most profound menorahs are fashioned of flesh and blood, of tears and sweat, of you and I.
We are menorahs. It is time to rise and shine.
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January 20th, 2015
EIGHT FINANCIAL SECRETS WALL STREET WISHES IT KNEW
The lover of silver will not be sated with silver – Ecclesiastes 5:9
Money is one loaded word.
Our approach to money very much reflects our approach to life. Money can be a catalyst for sublime change, but money can also be a catalyst for extreme dysfunction.
When they become adults, children often fashion their monetary mentalities after the monetary mentalities they grew up with. If the stresses of money were always at the familial forefront, then children may grow up to have an unhealthy take on money.
But what if money is seen as a means for us to exchange with one another and change the world?
There is a beautiful custom in this holiday season to hand out Chanukah gelt, ‘Hanukkah money,’ to children. The logic is simple, but the psychological implications are profound: Chanukah gelt says that instead of being synonymous with selfishness, corruption, and greed, money is synonymous with light, joy, and miracles.
Here are eight monetary terms that, when redefined, can help us see money as a means for changing, never short-changing, the world into a state of e pluribus unum, where out of the many there becomes one, and where “In God We Trust.”
HARD CASH
It can mean one of two things: 1) cash is hard because it makes us hard; or 2) cash is hard because it is hard to come by. But money is meant to make us soft, to make the world more pliable, to ease burdens rather than increase them. It is much harder for money to make us soft than to make us hard. This ideal is indeed hard to come by. But it is well worth it.
LOOSE CHANGE
Change is what we get back after we make a purchase, the difference between the cost of the item and how much we gave for it. Change is what we get back after we invest in the world; the difference between the item as it was when we found it and the beauty it became after we touched it.
INFLATION RATE
Inflation could be a good thing or a bad thing. If money inflates us, we had best beware; but if money is used to build up others and to build up the world, then it is humbling.
INVEST MEANT
We like quick returns, instant gratification, fast money. It took the Creator six days to create the market that is the world. Why not create it in one day, or one moment? Creation of the lasting sort takes time, investment, and maturation. We should not be deterred if at first we do not see the fruits of our labor. It takes a minute to buy one apple; but it takes a little longer to cultivate an apple orchard. We are in the orchard business.
HIGH INTEREST
When we are not interested in something, we approach it with indifference. By showing interest in money, studying not only how it is but also why it is, we begin to understand the divine purpose behind its creation. Sure, money earns interest. But even more: interest earns us the inner, soulful dimension of money.
GOING BROKE
We can go broke while still remaining whole, just as we can make it rich while still being completely broken. Losing money is not fun, but it is a whole lot better than losing sight of our selves and our purpose. The formula goes like this: the more fixed and wholesome we are in the things that truly matter (soul, purpose, meaning) the less likely it is for us to be broke.
CAPITAL & DIVIDENDS
The fact that we exist means that we have some major capital. We are here because the Creator of the market made an initial investment in us. It is our job to make that investment pay big dividends. The Creator of this global enterprise invests in us because the Creator believes in us. We create an astronomical return on this investment by believing in the Cosmic CEO, in the CEO’s Divine business plan and, of course, by implementing it.
BOTTOM LINE
Everybody makes money: only some make more, some make less. Making money is easy; making a difference is not.
The Creator of the market did not create us to make money. The Creator of the market created us to make a difference.
Money is a bankable way to do that.
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February 16, 2022 @8:30pm
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