Abandonment

January 10th, 2016

Who has not experienced this harrowingly helpless feeling in the course of his life? Who has not felt abandoned by G-d, cut loose from his protector and source, aimlessly adrift in a hostile world?

Do you remember your first steps? At first, your father would hold your hands in his and walk you across the room. Then, one day, father squatted before you, still holding your hands; suddenly, he took a half-step back, let go, and you were on your shaky own. You rushed into your father’s arms, rushed to the security of his embrace. You probably did not notice that you had never truly left his embrace, that all along his arms encircled you but inches from your body, lest you stumble and fall–how could you notice, when your every iota of concentration was focused on the task of putting one little foot before the other and reaching your father?

Based on a saying by Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov.

Adapted from the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe by Yanki Tauber.

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Tags: G-d's love, Yanki Tauber, story, help, children, Rebbe, fatherhood, insecurity
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January 7th, 2016

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End of Book One – Jacob Never Dies

December 24th, 2015

The Seeds of Today’s World have been Sown; The Stage Set

Jacob called for his sons and he said to them: Come together and I will tell what will happen at the end of days
– This week’s Torah portion – Genesis 49:1

Don’t be afraid, said Joseph to them [his brothers], shall I then take G-d’s place? You might have meant to do me harm, but G-d made it come out good. [As a result of my ending up in Egypt] I am enabled today to preserve the life of a great nation. Don’t worry, I will fully provide for you and your children. He thus comforted them as he spoke to their hearts
– 50:19-21

Joseph remained in Egypt… Joseph said to his family: I am dying. G-d is sure to fulfill his promise and bring you out of this land, to the land that he promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Joseph then bound the Israelites by an oath: When G-d fulfills this promise, you must bring [elevate] my remains [bones] out of this place. Joseph died at the age of 110 years. He was embalmed and placed in a casket in Egypt
– Conclusion of the book one, Genesis 50:22-26

As the solar year comes to a close with terrorism on the rise and an uncertain future looming ahead of us, we read the concluding chapter of the first book of the Torah. Endings require summations – sort of an accounting of where we stand and where we are headed.

Almost twenty years have passed since the dawn of the 21st Century. Just as we entered the new century, our comfort zones were rattled by the attacks of September 11, 2001, serving as an unwelcome precursor of events to come; a rude awakening to the world in which we now live.

To understand and make some sense of these turbulent times – both the physical times and the spiritual ones – we must look behind the scenes, into the historical forces which have led to and shaped our current universe. We need to travel beyond these world shaking events and study the spiritual events of these times, as related in the weekly Torah portions that we have been reading these last months.

During these last fifteen weeks we have traveled through Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Sukkot, we have read the first eleven portions of the book of Genesis (Bereishis), and are now reading the twelfth and final chapter: Vayechi, which begins “and Jacob Lived.”

Jacob, his twelve sons and Joseph are now all living in Egypt. Pharaoh has provided them with the best of the land. Indeed, Jacob’s last seventeen years in Egypt are his best years. The theme of this week’s Torah chapter is about Jacob’s last days and his burial. Jacob gives his final instructions to his children, he blesses each of the tribes, and finally asks that they bury him not in Egypt, but in Israel, together with his parents (Isaac and Rebecca) and grandparents (Abraham and Sarah) in the Cave of Machpela burial plot in Chebron.

Our weekly portion seems to be overly preoccupied with death and burial. Besides the detailed narrative of Jacob’s burial, we also learn about Rachel’s burial as Jacob explains to Joseph the reason he buried Rachel on the roadside. And finally we read at the end of the chapter how also Joseph is consumed with the plans for his burial.

Another unusual twist to this is that the word ‘death’ is never mentioned in regard to Jacob. The Talmud points this out and explains that “Jacob our father never died.” The Talmud continues and asks: “But didn’t they eulogize and bury him?!” And answers: “Just as his children are alive, so too is he alive.”

What is the story and what is its relevance today?

As we conclude the first book of Torah, a chapter – the first chapter – in history comes to a close. The book of Bereishis – aka Genesis – is exactly that: A book that lays out the genesis and the framework for all of existence. It is a blueprint for life that sets the stage for all the events to come. The chapters in the Book of Genesis – from Bereishis to Vayechi – tell a sequential story that spans a period of 24 generations:

Chapter one – the story of creation and of Adam and Eve.
Chapter two – the story of Noah and the flood 10 generations later.
Chapters three, four and five – the story of Abraham, ten generations after Noah.
Chapter six – the story of Isaac.
Chapters seven through nine – the story of Jacob
Chapters ten through the end and twelfth chapter – the story of Joseph and his brothers.

As we discussed in our previous articles, Abraham, Sarah, Ishmael, Isaac, Esau, Jacob, Joseph – are all the pivotal characters that will shape history to come.

Eating from the Tree of Knowledge creates the first distortion: The universe and its higher purpose separate. The dichotomy between spirit and matter begins. The Tree of Knowledge experience creates the split between fruit and peel, light and vessel, energy and container, spirit and matter – between the inner soul and the outer shell. Life is aligned as long as the shell is aware of its role as protector of the fruit within. But when the shell perceives itself as an end in itself – that I am it – then all problems begin.

A confusion of roles begins to emerge. This first identity crisis is the root of all role confusions throughout history: Who am I?

This alienation process deteriorates from generation to generation. Abraham is the first to reverse the dissonance and disorientation; he reintroduces G-d into life. Yet he is faced with a daunting challenge, to refine a world that is unreceptive and even antagonistic to anything divine.

Once the balance has been upset, it takes an extraordinary amount of effort and clarity to reclaim balance. After the balance has been lost it takes more effort to recreate harmony within chaos than it does to create harmony in the first place. Once the shell (kelipah) has taken control, it does not easily relinquish it. Once the cat has been let out of the bag and the universe feels that it is independent, it no longer wants to dance with G-d.

Abraham passes on his faith to his children. But living in an unbalanced world, this faith is difficult to integrate into regular daily life. Each progressive generation of Abraham’s children continues the work of integrating spirit and matter, and each respective generation is faced with its unique challenges in achieving these goals.

Here’s a brief map of the Book of Genesis – the building blocks of existence.

Abraham is chesed – the right flank.
Ishmael is chesed to its extreme, unharnessed energy.
Isaac – gevurah – the left flank.
Esau – gevurah to its extreme, unseasoned aggression.
Jacob – tiferet – the spine in the middle, balancing the previous two.

These elements define the world of vision – the vision of how life is to be lived and how we fulfill the purpose of existence.

Joseph and his brothers actualize the vision in the material world. They enter into Egypt and begin the process of refining the land. Joseph, as leader of Egypt, turns the country into a wealthy superpower.

Now the nation is ready for its first great challenge: Overcoming slavery to barbaric Egypt and thereby elevating and refining the sparks within. Egypt (Mitzrayim) is the archetype of the ‘shell’ existence, where the material dominates and enslaves the spiritual.

As difficult as the task may be, the people are well armed. They come with an arsenal consisting of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; they are equipped with the seasoning of the forefathers, who pass on their battle experiences to their children. They have seen the traps of faith, the extremes of Ishmael and Esau; and now they are ready to face materialistic Egypt.

What gives humans the power to overcome formidable challenges that defy mortal strength? The answer is one word: Hope. Faith in the process, trust in G-d and His promises, gives us superhuman hope and confidence that we will prevail. Our connection to the past is our guarantee for the future.

Hence, the strong emphasis on the burial of Jacob, Rachel and Joseph. Honoring and remembering the lives of our patriarchs and matriarchs and the promises told to them, give their children the power to endure all. Furthermore, our connection to the pioneers that came before us and paved the way bring them alive. They live on through their children.

Thus the word ‘death’ is never associated with Jacob. “As his children live so too he is alive.” When children perpetuate the spirit of their parents they show how their parent, whose inspiration lives in them, is truly alive. Hence the name of this week’s portion: Vayechi Yaakov – Jacob lives. Though the chapter discusses his death and preparations beforehand, the entire chapter is named and epitomizes that Jacob lives.

Yet, Jacob is still part of a higher world. He was a shepherd like his father and grandfather, insulated from the harsh business world out there. Joseph is the one that bridges the two worlds of sanctity and secularism, of spirituality and the material world. Thus, Joseph insists on being buried not in Israel, but in Egypt.

Joseph wants to serve as a reminder to the people during their long hard labor years in Egypt, that they should always remember via his remains, the promise that they will leave this place, and their oath that they would leave together with Joseph’s bones.

Like his mother Rachel, who is buried at the roadside to console the Jewish people as they leave Israel in exile (“Rachel cries for her children”), Joseph too ensures that he remain with the people.

The lesson of hope is relevant today more than ever. As civilizations wage war it would be wise to remember that these battles began many years ago. They were foretold together with the promise that we will prevail. The Egyptian exile is the archetype of all the battles to come. Jacob and Joseph always remind us that we can overcome any challenge and they give us the power of eternity – through them we never die and through us they never die. When we connect and hold onto our faith in G-d and His promises, then we will win any war and always prevail.

A chapter ends. A new and very difficult chapter is about to begin. But the seed of redemption has been planted. In the throes of the Egyptian exile and persecution Joseph remains as a defiant declaration that we will leave this place. Abraham’s vision and G-d’s promise will be fulfilled. We will prevail and we will leave with great wealth. Richer and greater than we were before we arrived.

And we will leave with the power to bring freedom to the entire world.

The book of Genesis concludes with Vayechi Yaakov and Joseph’s casket being placed in Egypt. Never have deaths been more alive.

Vayechi Yaakov – Jacob lives. The promise lives. The vision lives. Joseph reminds us throughout the harshest periods that it all continues to live.

Hold on to the vision. Hold on to the generations past that have been there. Hold on and see it through – we will be free. That is a promise.

Tags: faith, Joseph, self-discovery, living, hope, redemption, purpose of life, life, purpose of existence, Jacob, Life's Challenges
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Biblical, Personal Life, Torah Personalities, Torah, Jacob, Vayechi | 4 Comments »

A Tailor in a Stitch: A Rebbe Rashab Story

December 19th, 2015

The village tailor of Lubavitch had sewn a dress for Rebbetzin Rivkah Schneersohn, wife of Rabbi Shmuel of Lubavitch. The Rebbe’s young child, Sholom Ber, was present when the tailor brought the new garment to his mother. Displaying a child’s natural curiosity, the four-year-old reached into the visitor’s pocket and pulled out a sizable bolt of cloth – the remains of the Rebbetzin’s dress.

The tailor reddened and stammered an explanation: he had simply forgotten about the leftover cloth, he certainly had no intention of withholding from the Rebbetzin what was rightfully hers, etc.

After the tailor shamefacedly left, Rebbetzin Rivkah said to her son: “See what you did!  See how you embarrassed the poor man…”

Later, the child came to his father in tears and asked him how he can rectify the fact that he had shamed someone. But when the Rebbe asked his son to tell him what exactly happened, the child refused. “Is it not enough that I embarrassed a fellow Jew?” exclaimed little Sholom Ber. “Must I also commit the sin of gossip and speaking ill of one’s fellow?”

This Rebbe Rashab story was told by the Rebbe, Cheshvan 20 5737, November 13 1976.

Tags: Rebbe, love your neighbor, Chassidic stories, gossip
Posted in Torah Personalities, Modern, Personal Life, Rebbe Rashab, Torah, Emotions & Psychology | No Comments »

Hope Amid Cancer & Divorce

December 9th, 2015

The following letter is a message that we received from a member of the Meaningful Life Center Facebook community: 

I would like to share something as briefly as possible:

I was very ill for a long time, only to be diagnosed with ovarian cancer July of this year. I had several blood transfusions (severe anemia) and then surgery to remove a massive tumor/other organs. In the midst of that, my husband of 16 years told me he never loved me and wanted a divorce. Truly — I did not know how to come out of that. The cancer was scary enough — then my marriage ending? And to find he had been unfaithful? Too much. BUT!!! (Hang on — it’s a happy story!)

Your site helped me to keep my focus on gratitude and the goodness of our Creator and my purpose in this life. You helped me to pull myself together — for the sake of my merciful Lord, my sweet little boy and so that I can fulfill my purpose in this earth without bitterness and self pity crippling my journey. I’m here to gather Sparks and help brighten this world! Hallelujah!

I want to thank you, with all my heart, for the Hope you have sown into my life. I’m not even Jewish. I’m Christian. Although — in soooooo many ways, I wish I was Jewish; I feel like I must have Jewish ancestors or something. I have always connected so deeply with Jewish teachings — as though I knew the teachings intimately at one time and only needed a reminder to jog a sluggish memory. Silly, right? My son calls me “His Jewish mum”. I hope that isn’t offensive. I don’t mean it that way.

I’m rambling. I’m sorry. To the point!

I just felt the need to express my gratitude for the uplifting posts that have literally been a life saver to me. I’m forever grateful to you. Because of you and G-d’s help, I have true hope and sincere joy! G-d bless you tremendously!

Tags: Divine purpose, transforming darkness, cancer, faith, hope, purpose of life, divorce
Posted in My Story About The Book, Personal Life, The Book: Toward a Meaningful Life, Pain & Suffering, Personal Stories | 1 Comment »

Massacre in San Bernardino

December 3rd, 2015

Peace at Home: The Key to World Peace

Just as Jacob desired to settle in tranquility, the agony of Joseph pounced upon him
– Rashi in the opening of this week’s Torah portion

Just as we are about to settle down, another tragedy strikes. As things seem to be getting ‘back to normal’ (whatever normal is), 14 more innocent lives have been viciously torn from us, and 21 wounded, this time in a… social services center in San Bernardino, California. The attackers were Muslim, with ties to Middle Eastern extremists. Is that a coincidence? With daily assaults in Israel and the recent slaughters in Europe –  among the many thwarted attempts – what more do we need to see that we are in midst of a world war being waged by radical Islamists against the West?

And yet again, to find clarity and direction in the throes of today’s confusion, we turn to the weekly Bible chapter, relating events that took place thousands of years ago, but are as relevant today more than ever.

How eerily reminiscent is this rude awakening of our weekly Torah portion: Just as Jacob returns to Israel and is ready to settle down, a new tragedy strikes. In their envy, Jacob’s sons sell their brother Joseph, telling Jacob that he was killed. Joseph ends up in prison in Egypt. Jacob believes his son is dead.

Jacob has struggled all his life. Even prior to birth he and his twin brother Esau clashed – two nations locked in perpetual battle. After taking Esau’s birthright and blessings, he escapes Esau’s wrath, only to go from the frying pan into the fire, spending twenty miserable years with his corrupt uncle and father-in-law Laban. However Jacob comes out a stronger and greater man, and finally confronts Esau. They reconcile for the moment, but then part ways, as they recognize how much more work needs to be done before the two Jacob/Esau forces of spirit and matter can achieve peace (see previous weeks’ articles).

Finally, after all his hardships and struggles the 100 year old Jacob comes back home and wants to settle down in peace. But that is not to be. As Rashi cites the Midrash:

“Jacob desired to settle in tranquility, but the agony of Joseph pounced upon him. For when the righteous wish to settle in tranquility, G-d says: ‘Is it not enough for the righteous what is prepared for them in the World to Come, that they also ask for a tranquil life in this world?’”

Jacob the tzaddik (righteous person) will not have peace in this world.

Why not? Because a tzaddik – a real person – is never an island unto himself. The destiny of an individual is intertwined with the destiny of the world. If the world is suffering so is he. He cannot be at peace when there is no peace around him.

And the world was not yet at peace. As Jacob tells Esau in last week’s portion, “you know that the children are weak and I have responsibility for the nursing sheep and cattle. If they are driven hard for even one day, they will die… Please go ahead of me… I will lead my group slowly, following the pace of the work ahead of me, and the pace of the children. I will eventually come to you, my lord, in Seir.”

Jacob is telling us that there is much work to be done to resolve the inherent tension between the material and the spiritual. Before it is resolved, this tension will only escalate in the generations to come. This historical evolution of the wars between Jacob and Esau’s (and Ishmael’s) descendants is documented at the end of last week’s Torah portion.

Now, a chapter later, following these chronicles of Esau – which consists of a detailed list of the nations that would descend from him, concluding with Magdiel, father of Rome – come the chronicles of Jacob in this week’s portion. The tension between the two cosmic forces of Jacob and Esau is reflected and plays itself out in microcosm in Jacob’s home and family. If the world is not at peace than our homes will inevitable be affected in kind. And vice versa: Divisiveness in the family brings divisiveness around us. The way to repair the world is to repair the rift at home. How we build our home will affect how we build our world. Peace at home brings peace in the world.

The lesson today is clear:

Just as we are about to settle down, another tragedy strikes, teaching us that there is no room for complacency; important work needs to be done, both in our personal lives and homes and in the world at large. And as long as we don’t do it, trouble looms. No enemy from without can attack you if there is no enemy within.

Before the attacks of September 11 – and its latest resurgence in these last months – we may have thought that terrorist murders were isolated events in the Middle East – that they were “Israel’s problem.” Today however, we know better. Killing innocent people – whenever and wherever – is an assault, an atrocity against all innocent people. Many excuses can be proffered for killing innocent civilians. It infuriates me to no end when I hear people protest terrorist attacks, and then add: “but…”  “But we need to review the causes that would bring them to do this;” “But we need to understand their frustration.” Every crime has a root no doubt: childhood abuse, mental illness, rage, grievances, legitimate or not. Yet murder is murder, crime is crime. As such it can never be tolerated in a civilized society.

The attack on any person, on any nation, of any persuasion – Jew, Christian, Muslim or atheist – is an attack on all of humanity. Period. If you cannot control yourself due to your ‘grievances’ than lock yourself up or have yourself locked up in an institution for people who are out of control. Period.

So, just as we were about to settle down, we grieve again. We must remember that evil that attacks ‘other’ innocent people even if they are abroad is an attack on all of us, on our homes and families. Does anyone doubt that at any moment America can be attacked – G-d forbid – by the same lurking evil?! We must not become apathetic again; we must always remember that problems outside always are connected with problems within. All these experiences teach and drive us to do what we must on the home front and abroad and not wait for more innocent people to suffer. As long as we do not awake we will be held hostage by the uncertainty ahead of us and we will be controlled by circumstances instead of taking control of them.

The question is: What are we to do? How do we take control? What peace do we need to build at home that will help bring world peace?

The answer lies in a deeper analysis of the rift between Joseph and his brothers. Why were Joseph’s brothers so angry with him to the point that they wanted to kill him?

Jacob’s eleven sons saw Joseph as a formidable threat to G-d and to fulfilling the Divine purpose of life. Each of the twelve tribes has a unique personality reflecting twelve vital aspects in life. Judah was designated to be the leader. His descendants – the House of David – were given kingship. When the brothers heard that Joseph dreamt that he would be their leader they saw this as mutiny against the Divinely ordained leadership of Judah. They foresaw the split that the children of Joseph would create in their mutiny against the house of David, the Kingdom of Israel that would break away from the Kingdom of Judah. To preempt this tragedy they felt that Joseph’s mutiny deserved death.

Why is Judah the appropriate leader and not Joseph? Judah (from the word ‘hodaah,’ “acknowledgment”) embodies faith and humility: the single most important ingredient in a true leader. He does not see himself as great, only as transparent channel of a Higher Will completely dedicated to serving his people. His ego and personality do not stand in the way between the people and G-d. Without absolute faith, humility and selflessness, leadership and the power that it wields is just plain dangerous.

Chassidic thought applies this to our personal lives: Judah is action and implementation (maaseh), Joseph is scholarship and knowledge (Talmud). Joseph’s great virtue, as his name implies, is the power of growth through wisdom and scholarship. For all its strengths scholarship without humility, knowledge without action, reason without faith, leads to arrogance and ultimately can become destructive. An absolute commitment to truth is built upon the unwavering foundation of faith.

The brothers however were mistaken in one critical regard: Timing. True, a perfect world would have Judah as its leader (Moshiach son of David), but while we still live in an imperfect world, where there is a dichotomy between matter and spirit (Esau and Jacob), ignorant faith can be even more dangerous. The passion of absolute faith without knowledge, humility without the direction of wisdom, action without first studying, can become misguided and misdirected, to the point of harming others in the name of ignorant faith. Thus, the need for Joseph’s leadership, to temper and balance the passion of Judah – wisdom to direct and guide one’s actions, knowledge to channel the power of faith. Joseph’s leadership (Moshiach son of Joseph) prepares and refines the world for the ultimate leadership of Judah (as related in the haftorah of the Vayigash portion).

This is the inside story and deeper significance of Jacob’s heartbreaking loss of Joseph and his inability to live in peace:

Jacob’s encounter and reconciliation with Esau makes him aware of the hard work to come in refining the world. Jacob recognizes that we must go “slowly, following the pace of the work ahead of me.” After the Torah lists the chronicles of Esau – which testify to the nations that would confront each other confirming Jacob’s fears – Jacob finally returns to Israel (Canaan), the land and home of his parents. He wants to live in peace, but he is quickly reminded with the tragedy of Joseph that as long as the world is not at peace he will not be at peace.

What the … is going on? Didn’t Jacob suffer enough? He had to escape Esau, live by his corrupt uncle Laban, returns and confronts Esau – by now Jacob is worn down and wants to live in peace. What does G-d do, he sends him yet another trauma!

Because the refinement of Esau is far from complete, the world is not yet ready to be at peace with G-d. So neither is Jacob. The selling of Joseph is a result and symptom of the pre-existing problems.

At the same time, the remedy lies within the illness. Joseph’s clash with his brothers teaches us how the repair and healing begins. We must begin by repairing the rifts in our homes – the rift between faith and reason, knowledge and action, humility and scholarship. We must teach ourselves and our children that it is not just enough to know what is right, but to do what is right. On the other hand: faith and belief need to be internalized through study and education. The fusion of Joseph and Judah must be complete.

When we achieve the union in our personal lives and within our families, then we have the power to refine the world, and unite Jacob and Esau.

So when we see more violence around us, we need to remember that it is telling us that we must do something. The world will not be at peace until we finish the work we need to do. Death, violence, terrorism continues to haunt us as long as we do not repair the problems at the root.

It tells us that in order to heal the world we must first ensure that it does not contaminate our family. The divisiveness outside of your home, between Esau and Jacob, Ishmael and Isaac, and Esau and Ishmael must not be allowed to infect peace in your home. As Esau goes to war with Ishmael and Ishmael is attacking Israel, we must not allow this attack to cause hostility between Jacob’s children, to begin fighting with each other. No enemy from without can attack you if you stand unified as a family. “Our father [G-d] blesses us when we are united as one.” Indeed, divisiveness within allows attacks from without. We must stand strong and united together with one voice of determination against your enemies.

You cannot negotiate with people that call for your destruction. In last week’s Torah portion Jacob rejects Esau’s offer to live side by side with him, as does Sarah regarding Isaac and Ishmael. They clearly understood that until the world is perfected in the time of Moshiach, separation is necessary for peace.

But people are not always wise. They begin to bicker with each other, until they can end up selling their own brother into slavery…

The unity that must be achieved is between our understanding and our action. When under attack people must unite and act accordingly with decisive resolution and with no ambiguity. They must declare for all to hear: We are a land with laws. If you want to live in this land you must abide by them or leave. This is the way any normal civilized country behaves – its first and primary priority is to protect its citizens.

After the Torah portions discuss the struggles of Ishmael and Isaac, and then Esau and Jacob, this week the war stage moves from the global to the local, from the street to the home, from Ishmael, Esau and Jacob, to Jacob’s family. To repair the world we must begin by repairing ourselves and our relationships. We must integrate our beliefs and our actions, our faith and wisdom. We must make peace with our brothers and sisters.

When we achieve harmony at home – shalom bayit – and end the divisiveness between each other, we are then empowered to go out and bring harmony to the world at large. To integrate matter and spirit, and make peace between Ishmael, Esau and Jacob – all children of the one Abraham, under one G-d.

Tags: Judah, Jacob and Esau, matter and spirit, commitment, peace, Jacob, Joseph, divisiveness, Ishmael, humility, san bernardino, selflessness, faith, tranquility, leadership
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Biblical, Torah Personalities, Personal Life, Social, Home & Family, Torah, Esau, Jacob, Terrorism, Vayeishev, Joseph, The Twelve Tribes, Current Events | 2 Comments »

The Big Confrontation – Jacob & Esau Meet

November 26th, 2015

Esau & Jacob Meet after 20 Years

Jacob remained alone. A man wrestled with him until dawn
– This week’s Torah portion, Genesis 32:25

During the night of Exile, the nations of the world and the kingdom of Edom (Esau) wrestle with Jacob, until the dawn of redemption
– Midrash Lekach Tov on the verse

Esau told Jacob: I will travel alongside you. My lord you know that the children are weak and I have responsibility for the nursing sheep and cattle. If they are driven hard for even one day, they will die…Please go ahead of me… I will lead my group slowly, following the pace of the work ahead of me, and the pace of the children. I will eventually come to you, my lord, in Seir [Edom]
– Genesis 33:12-13

And when will he [Jacob] go [to Seir]? In the days of Moshiach, as it says (Ovadiah 1:21) Redeemers will ascend Mount Zion to judge the Mount of Esau, and the kingdom will be G-d’s
– Rashi

The stage is set. Jacob is returning to Israel after 20 years of exile. Twenty years previously he fled from his brother Esau who, furious at the fact that Jacob “stole” his birthright and blessings from him, wanted to kill him. During his years in exile, Jacob built a strong home and large family. He matured extensively during his twenty year tenure under his complex and cunning uncle and father-in-law, Laban.

The big day has come. What will happen when Jacob meets Esau after all these years? Has Esau’s anger waned? Has he forgiven what Jacob did to him?

Jacob and Esau represent “two nations” in a perpetual struggle (see previous weeks’ articles) – the battle between matter and spirit, between body and soul, between the G-dly and the mundane, between religion and science, between the religious and the secular. In personal terms – the battle between selfishness and dedication to a higher calling.

What happens when Esau and Jacob finally confront each other? What does it teach us about dealing with our own challenges, our own version of the Jacob/Esau confrontation? Can peace be achieved between matter and spirit, body and soul – G-d and the universe?

So, this week’s parsha is a critical one being that in it we learn about this momentous/archetypal confrontation, which teaches us about all confrontations to come – up to and including the confrontations of our present today.

Many lessons can be derived from this week’s story in dealing with and conquering adversity. Here are some of them.

ASSESS THE SITUATION

Before confronting Esau, Jacob first sends messengers to scout out what lies ahead and to meet Esau. The first step in facing an adversary is to understand their intentions, assess their strengths and review all your options.

SPIRITUAL PREPARATION

You must be well prepared. Jacob’s message to Esau was: “I have lived with Laban, and have delayed my return until now.” Even while living with the corrupt Laban “I remained committed to the 613 mitzvahs,” and maintained my relationship with G-d. Jacob’s words teach us that before facing the harsh realities of life we must build a secure home base, firmly standing on the pillars and foundations of faith, spirit and a strong value system and ideals.

INFLUENCE PEOPLE

The only way to complete the transformation of the material world is by imbuing others with energy to carry the spirit further. Our work in refining the “Esau’s” and “Edom’s” of our life includes inspiring others to become ‘messengers’ that carry the power. It is not enough to do the work alone; the barometer of our own success is our ability to affect and influence others in the same spirit. We are social creatures; our lives affect and are affected by other people. In life you have two and only two choices: Either you influence others or they influence you.

COVER ALL BASES

Jacob prepares to face Esau by covering all his bases: He prays to G-d; he prepares gifts to appease him; and he prepares for battle.

Prayer: Speak to G-d and implore Him to help you. Faith and prayer connect you to your higher purpose. This connection to above gives you the fortitude and persistence to face any challenge, the confidence to face any adversary.

Appeasement: When confronting any challenge in the material world around us, it is critical to study and analyze the ‘enemy’ and learn what ‘speaks’ to it, what can reach and perhaps change his mind.

War: As a last resort you must prepare to fight the enemy.

The ultimate objective is not to destroy but to transform the enemy. Not to annihilate the material world but to shape it into a channel for the spiritual. To do so effectively, you need to begin with prayer, to access G-d’s strength to succeed in facing your challenges. Then you need to assess the challenge and find a way to win it over, to speak to and persuade it on its own terms to reconcile with you. Finally, if all else fails you must be ready to go to war and confront your enemy.

NOTHING IS TOO SMALL

In preparation for encountering Esau the following day, Jacob ferries his family across the Yabbok stream, but he remains behind “alone,” to retrieve some “small jars” of his that were left behind. There, “a man wrestled with him until dawn.”

The “small jars” represent the last ‘containers’ that we need to elevate and refine in fulfilling our Divine mission in spiritualizing the material world. Each person is allocated an allotment of ‘Divine ‘sparks’ (spiritual energy) that is embedded – as energy in ‘containers’ – in our material possessions and property. Everything that comes your way in life contains these ‘sparks’ – your home, relationships, furniture, work, car, food, entertainment, activities, travel destinations. You are charged with the responsibility to discover and reveal these sparks by directing all your activities to a higher, spiritual purpose.

Jacob teaches us that our work must not only consist of the ‘big things’ in life, it must include all aspects, even the ‘small jars.’ Nothing should remain neglected. Every part of our lives can and needs to be redeemed.

“Jacob remained alone.” – The spiritual journey is often a lonely one.

At times you may feel that you are all alone in your work of redeeming the ‘small jars.’ People around you may be involved in all types of glamorous pursuits, and you could feel isolated in your spiritual search. Your search may pale in comparison to what’s ‘happening’ out there. Even then you must remain steadfast in your mission. Your integrity is at stake even when its unpopular.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

The spiritual journey is often a lonely one. It includes many challenges and battles. Standing alone you will encounter forces with which you must wrestle. And this wrestling will occur during the night, when it is dark and desolate, as Jacob wrestles with Esau’s angel. This “wrestling” represents the cosmic struggle between matter and spirit, and Jacob’s victory empowers us to prevail over any adversary we face.

In truth, you are never really alone. It only appears that way especially in the cover of night. When you wrestle with an adversary and don’t run away, you realize that you have power. Sometimes that power is just enough to make it through the night, to see it through difficult times. But then when dawn breaks, you see that you have prevailed.

RECONCILIATION

Indeed, the next day when Jacob finally meets Esau, Esau’s heart opens to his brother.

“Esau ran to meet him. He hugged [Jacob] and throwing himself on his shoulders, kissed him. They [both] wept.”

After all Jacob’s work and preparation for this encounter with Esau – his 20 years with Laban, building his home and family, his prayer and gifts, his angel wrestling – he is able to face him and reconcile. The two nations and worlds, the two cosmic forces that are Esau and Jacob, have both matured to the point where they can begin to coexist with each other.

The sages argue whether or not this was a complete and sincere reconciliation. The argument reflects the difficulty of integrating the two. Either way the process of resolution between matter and spirit has begun.

THE WORK AHEAD

Witnessing their reunion, Esau suggests to Jacob that they come together and join forces. However Jacob wisely recognizes that their reunion was only a good beginning.

“My lord you know that the children are weak and I have responsibility for the nursing sheep and cattle. If they are driven hard for even one day, they will die… Please go ahead of me… I will lead my group slowly, following the pace of the work ahead of me, and the pace of the children. I will eventually come to you, my lord, in Seir.”

Jacob is telling Esau and all of us that there is much work to be done in resolving the inherent tension between the material and the spiritual. And this work must be done with complete focus. Jacob rejects even Esau’s offer to help by putting “some of my people at your disposal,” even that poses too great of a risk. “Just let me remain on friendly terms with you,” Jacob tells Esau.

Today, after 3571 years of work, the world has become refined and the reconciliation can be completed. Jacob can finally fulfill his promise to Esau, “I will eventually come to you,” and the world can be united under one G-d, with each nation serving in its own unique way.

Each of us must ask ourselves the question: Is my ‘Jacob’ ready to meet and make peace with my ‘Esau’? Is my material life aligned with my spiritual one? Have I integrated what I do with who I am?

The final frontier is upon us. As Esau, Jacob, Ishmael confront each other, they are challenged to embrace the G-d of their father Abraham – a G-d who wants to be at peace with the universe. A peace that can only be achieved when we do our part in revealing the G-dliness in everything we do.

And so this week’s Torah portion closes the chapter of Esau. Just as the portion of Chayei Sarah concludes with the chronicles of Ishmael, and the portion of Toldot concludes with Esau’s marriage to Ishmael’s daughter, this week’s portion concludes with the chronicles of Esau. It details Esau’s family line and the leaders and nations that would descend from him, concluding with Magdiel, founder of Rome.

The seeds have been planted for the confrontations to come. The question today is: Do we understand the message?

Tags: spiritual and material, sparks, self-development, life tools, Jacob, self-improvement, Esau, purpose of life, confrontation
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Good & Evil, Biblical, Soul & Mystical, Beliefs & Concepts, Torah Personalities, Personal Life, Spiritual, Torah, Esau, Vayishlach, Emotions & Psychology, Jacob | 2 Comments »

Why is Paris Burning?

November 19th, 2015

France, Napoleon, Islam and the Alter Rebbe

In the aftermath of the Paris attacks last weekend — followed, earlier this year, by the Charlie Hebdo killings and the murders latest murders of Jews in the kosher supermarket — the obvious question arises: Why France? the wake the As the world reels from the Paris burning dominate headlines and our consciousness, some coinciding events were too glaring to ignore: The first documented story of institutionalized subjugation and genocide of Jews in these week’s Torah chapters; a prescient Zohar at the end of this week’s portion foretelling Ishmael (ancestor of the Arab/Muslim world) attacking Esau (forbearer of the Western world); and the 202nd yahrzeit of Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, as he was fleeing the advance of the French army on Russia.

The answer, as usual, lays in connecting the dots of history, tracing back to Biblical times. Upon connecting these dots a stunning relevant image emerges, shedding a revolutionary new light on the current unfolding drama.

Beyond the immediate tragic events happening in Paris — and the imminent threats around the world to all good citizens and especially Jews — is there something bigger transpiring here?

The best way to understand the here and now is to step back, lift ourselves above the fray, and take a birds’ eye view of the unfolding drama. As always, placing things in the sweep of historical context, looking at the big picture, provides us with critical insight into the current frame and chapter, allowing us to forge a strategy and chart a direction going forward.

France and the Jewish people have a long, complicated and tenuous relationship.

Some of the greatest Middle Age Jewish massacres took place in France. In the 13th century King Louis IX expelled the Jews. And then, the 19th century scarred by the infamous Dreyfus Affair in the 19th century, which exposed the deep-seated French anti-Semitism — a scar that continues to haunt, only to be overshadowed by French complicity with the Nazis.

No wonder the shock elicited in January of this year by the murders of Jews in the kosher supermarket, in the wake the Charlie Hebdo massacre — following the 2006 torturous murder of Ilan Halimi in 2006, and the 2012 slaughter of three children and a rabbi outside a Jewish school in Toulouse in 2012, and other subsequent attacks — exposing the open, raw and long-standing wound which marks the extended history of French prejudice.

To better understand France’s complex history with the Jews, let us travel back to the Franco-Russian War of 1812.

During that war, after Napoleon invaded Russia, Jewish leaders in Russia broke into two camps, one supporting the victory of French Emperor Napoleon, the other Russian Czar Alexander I. The former felt that if Napoleon won the war material life would become much easier for Jews. Napoleon, after all, is credited with being a major force in effecting Jewish emancipation, to the point that, by contrast, Alexander vehemently denounced the liberties given to the Jews by the French and demanded that the Orthodox Church protest against Napoleon’s tolerant religious policy. He referred to the Emperor in a proclamation as “the Anti-Christ” and the “Enemy of God.”

The latter group of Jewish leaders, however, argued that though Napoleon’s victory offered physical emancipation of the oppressed, it would compromise Jewish spiritual life. Napoleon, after all, represented an atheistic, self-glorifying, G-dless enlightenment, which threatened to assimilate and all but destroy the soul of the Jews unready for the challenges of the modern world. Russia’s victory, on the other hand, would assure that the spiritual integrity of Jewish life would be preserved.

Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, known as the Alter Rebbe, was a major voice in the Jewish opposition to Napoleon. His position was the one that ultimately prevailed. (for the detailed story click here). Rabbi Schneur Zalman was obviously not opposed to freedom from material oppression. What he wisely recognized was that this freedom has to be attained gradually, so as not to overwhelm the tenuous nature of spiritual life in a material world. And his fears were confirmed in the events that took place in Europe during the 19th century: Modern assimilation was birthed as a result of a people unprepared for the challenges of accelerated emancipation.

The Alter Rebbe was actually taking a cue from the Biblical Jacob, who made a similar statement to his twin brother Esau 3572 years ago:

In Biblical terms the battle between matter and spirit is the struggle between Esau and Jacob. After Esau and Jacob reconcile, Esau invites Jacob to become his neighbor.

Jacob replies, “My lord you know that the children are tender and I have responsibility for the nursing sheep and cattle. If they are driven hard for even one day, they will die… Please go ahead of me… I will lead my group slowly, following the pace of the work ahead of me, and the pace of the children. I will eventually come to you, my lord, in Seir.”

As the great commentator Rashi explains, that Jacob was referring to the end of times, about which the prophet Ovadiah propehsizes:

He told him of a longer journey… So when will he go? In the days of the Messiah, as it is said (Obadiah 1:21): “And saviors shall ascend Mt. Zion to judge the mountain of Esau.”

Jacob is telling Esau and all of us that there is much work to be done in resolving the inherent tension between the material and the spiritual. And this work must be done with complete focus. Jacob rejects even Esau’s offer to help by putting “some of my people at your disposal,” even that poses too great of a risk.

“Just let me remain on friendly terms with you,” Jacob tells Esau.

Similarly, the Alter Rebbe sensed that Jacob (the Jewish people) were not yet ready to accept the offer of freedom coming from the French modern face of Esau.

That was then.

But with time things began to change.

History is a process – the process of refining the material world and slowly acclimating it to its inner soul. As the river of time flowed forward, each generation carried the baton of its leg of the great marathon of history – each progressive generation building upon its predecessor, slowly refining the mundane world.

Today, after 3572 years of work from the time of Jacob and Esau, the accumulative energy of countless generations has so refined the world that it is ready for reconciliation. Jacob can finally fulfill his promise to Esau, “I will eventually come to you,” and the world can be united under one G-d, with a complete fusion of matter and spirit and each nation serving in its own unique manner (see The Big Confrontation – Jacob & Esau Meet).

Similarly, with the Alter Rebbe’s opposition to France. At the onset of emancipation, when the people — the “children” — were too tender, the leader’s responsibility is to ensure that that they be able and mature enough to engage with a new world.

But today, 200 years later, as France and the West became more refined and we have achieved a deeper state of maturity, the Rebbe made it clear (in a talk delivered at the end of 1991), that we now have the ability and opportunity to integrate both freedoms: material and spiritual.

The Alter Rebbe paid a heavy price for his war and opposition to France and Napoleon. Ostensibly, the French advance is what led to his untimely passing. Yet, in the big scheme of things the Alter Rebbe left us armed with unprecedented resources: the teachings of Chassidus. Chassidus, contemporary Jewish mysticism, renders and channels this ancient wisdom into an accessible blueprint for life that teaches us how to integrate our material lives with a higher, spiritual purpose.

Until the Alter Rebbe, cosmic secrets were in the exclusive domain of sacred few Tzaddikim. The Alter Rebbe’s liberation on Yud Tes (19) Kislev was a Divine signal and declaration that a new phase in history had arrived – the time had come to empower the masses with the ability to transform their material lives and the physical world into a home for the sublime.

This was always the purpose of existence, but in earlier generations global transformation would have not have been possible without overt Divine intervention. In natural terms, it did not seem possible that human efforts could achieve worldwide change. Yud Tes Kislev opened up a new channel – which would lead in subsequent years to the Industrial revolution, the emergence of democracy, the atomic and nuclear age, the information revolution – enormous changes that continue to grow at an accelerated pace.

Armed with these tools, and with the refinment and maturity that came with time, today we can harness our prosperity and comforts to advance a spiritual revolution. Yet, the challenge still remains not to take our freedoms for granted. Our greatest enemy today is within: our enemy is complacency – the one borne out of prosperity. When we don’t have to fight for our ideals, they tend to stagnate.

As time passed, emancipation was finally achieved to the point that today we are virtually free of any institutionalized oppression. And now, two centuries since the French Revolution and Napoleon’s defeat, we can now indeed engage, benefit from — and transform — the freedoms of modern society and thrive as Jews.

And thrive we did. France has, in the last few decades, proudly experienced a unparalleled renaissance of Jewish traditional life.

Yet, the tenuous relationship remains. And now comes the latest Muslim insurgence into France and Europe, with the most recent attacks against French Jews and French citizens. What are we to make of all this? And what happens in France, history shows, affects the world. France clearly plays a central role and reflects the overall European Western world.

So listen to this next fascinating piece of the puzzle:

In the very same verses where Ovadiah foresees Jacob returning to meet Esau, (and saviors shall ascend Mt. Zion to judge the mountain of Esau, fulfilling Jacob’s words I will eventually come to you), Ovadiah describes how .the Jews exiled in “Tzorfas” (France) will, at the end of days, prevail over their enemies and the ones that remained silent in face of their suffering, and how they will return to Zion!

This is the one and only time France is mentioned in the Torah.

This adds an entirely new dimension in our appreciation of the events in 1812 and today: The Alter Rebbe was certainly aware of this prophecy declaring Jacob’s return to Esau. But he also knew that this vision was meant to happen once the “children” had matured. Jacob in his time, and the Jewish people in the Alter Rebbe’s time, were not yet ready to engage with France and Seir. France was still the enemy that needed to be avoided and defeated.

The Alter Rebbe, however, also knew, that the time was coming — and indeed, today the time has come — when we can transform France, which epitomized the self-worship of man (as reflected so aptly in the French Enlightenment), into a Divine home.

But the story is not over. France (Esau) is still struggling with its destiny and relationship with Jacob (Jews), as demonstrated in the latest tragic events.

Yet this time, the attackers are Muslims.

So now, for the final piece of this emerging portrait, let us turn to the words of the Zohar (II 32a), that at the end of days, the children of Ishmael will wage wars on Esau (the Western world). Edom (Esau) will respond and battle with them. Ultimately G-d will intervene and the Jewish people will rise.

The plot thus thickens. Though we have matured to the point that we can now take on and transform France (Esau), after first needing to be insulated (in the time of the Alter Rebbe), the ride is not easy. We still need to contend with Esau and his many transmutations and incarnations.

Including, the one in which he weds the daughter of Ishmael (Genesis 28:3), with its own major drama (see The Plot Thickens), resulting in a new series of conflicts that includes not just battles with Jews but also battles between Ishmael and Esau (as reflected in the Muslim attack on French citizens). Because, as Esau’s infamous wedding attests, Esau and Ishmael had their own share of differences, besides their commonalities. Both their mutuality and their conflicts would affect their future progeny and the wars they would wage with and against each other, as explained by the Abarbanel (Mayonei Yeshua (intro to Daniel), 2:3).

You see, Esau (France) has two faces: One as son of Abraham and brother to Jacob; the second, as warrior and arch-enemy to Jacob. The former is perhaps how Esau has evolved into the American Revolution, which also brought freedom to the world, but as opposed to the G-dless French Revolution, the American one was built on “In God We Trust,” the inalienable rights endowed equally to all people by their One Creator (see Two Faces of Esau).

Though we can indeed engage with France, the battle is not over until France makes its choice which face it will embrace.

The final frontier is clearly upon us. And France stands at the center of events — as it does in Ovadiah’s vision, and as it has played itself out in its long history, leading to our present day. The challenge is both with Esau and Ishmael, as the Zohar tells us.

We are far ahead of how things were in 1812 and certainly how they were 3371 years ago, but we still have a few steps to make. We stand at the threshold of returning to Zion from France and the rest of the world. Yet, we are faced with finishing the job of refining Esau and Ishmael.

History is a continuum. Peace in our lifetime will only be possible if we make peace with the rifts of our past. Today, we are confronted with forces that have been unleashed thousands of years ago.

Events are sometimes separated by 200 or 3000 years. But when you connect the dots, a bigger picture emerges that helps explain the world altering changes that we have experienced in the last two centuries.

And perhaps, it can help us understand what lies ahead.

Studying all these texts and reviewing the historical roots of today’s challenges provides us with that birds’ eye view, uncovering for us the hidden choreography behind today’s events.

These inside “secrets” provide perspective to current events in France — and the world — illuminating for us: why is Paris burning? Why is France, of all places, at the forefront of today’s upheavals?

And above all: After a long history of tension with its Jewish citizens, which of the two options will France — and Europe — choose: To make its peace with G-d and the Jews or to capitulate to the forces of Ishmael? The end, as Ovadiah assures us, will be victory. The only question is this: how will we get there and who will be on board?

Tags: Islam, Islamism, anti-semitism
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Religion, Social, Spiritual, Torah, Vayeitzei, Terrorism, Racism, Current Events | 1 Comment »

The Plot Thickens – Jacob & Esau: Two Nations

November 13th, 2015

Ishmael Won’t Go Away

What an absolute outrage! It’s open season on attacking Jews. Who would have believed that in the year 2015 — after what the entire world witnessed (mostly in silence) just 75 years ago — Jews would become target practice.

But now the attacks are being perpetrated exclusively by Muslims, and of all ages. And not just in Israel, which is bad enough, but throughout Europe (in case anyone was still trying to distinguish between anti-Israel and anti-Jew).

What are we to think when we see Muslim children as little as 13 year old knifing innocent men, women and children? When you witness that — amidst a climate of jungle-like lawlessness, in the form of random stabbings, the latest one happening in Milan, Italy — you know that there is something seriously wrong with that part of the world. What kind of life is it when Jews feel they need to remove their skullcaps in Paris to conceal their Jewish identities from would-be assailants?

Whether we like it or not, whether true or not, any prudent person is beginning to look at every Muslim as a potential danger.

The Bible tells us that Ishmael “will be a wild man. His hand will be against everyone, and everyone’s hand will be against him” (Genesis 16:12). But to this extent? And still today — over 3500 years since that statement was made?!

So… let us return to the Bible and see what this week’s chapter has in store for us.

*

Just when you thought that the story of Ishmael is over…

He returns for a curtain call.

This week’s Torah portion concludes with Esau, elder son of Isaac, marrying the daughter of Ishmael, Machlat.

Hmmm, what does that do to the gene pool, and what are its effects today?

But let’s not jump ahead of ourselves.

Following the chronicles of Ishmael’s life at the end of last week’s portion, today’s Torah portion begins with the chronicles of Isaac: “And these are the chronicles of Isaac son of Abraham…” the story of Esau and Jacob, children of Isaac and Rebecca.

“And (these are the chronicles)” emphasizes that the chronicles of Isaac are not a separate story but an extension and continuation of Ishmael’s chronicles. In other words, the story of Ishmael and his children continues with Esau and Jacob.

What is the story of Esau and Jacob?

The Torah tells us, that Rebecca’s pregnancy was a difficult one. “The children clashed inside her.” Confused she asks of G-d: “Why is this happening to me?” G-d’s reply: “Two nations are in your womb. Two governments will separate from inside you. The upper hand will go from one nation to the other. The greater one will serve the younger.”

The twins Esau and Jacob are born – the father of these two nations. Esau is the elder of the two. The brothers are diametrically different characters. Esau is a “skilled hunter, a man of the field.” “Jacob was a wholesome man, who sat in the tents” – a scholar who dwelled in the tents of study.

The story continues: One day Esau comes home exhausted from hunting in the field. Jacob is simmering a stew, and famished Esau asks for a swallow of the ‘red stuff’ (he is therefore called ‘Edom,’ which means red).

“First sell me your birthright [first born rights]” and then I will give you to eat. Esau agrees. “Here I’m about to die, what good is a birthright to me?”

He sells his birthright to Jacob and in return gets his meal.

Strange story. How could honest Jacob, Jacob the scholar, manipulate his brother for the birthright? G-d decided that Esau be the first-born! Additionally, the birthright is a spiritual right; can it be sold for… a stew?!

But the story gets stranger yet.

Rebecca overhears Isaac telling Esau that he wants to bless him. When Esau goes out to the field to bring back a meal for Isaac before blessing him, Rebecca tells her son Jacob what she overheard, and she says to him that he should go to his father Isaac and pretend that he is Esau and receive the blessings. Rebecca prepares a tasty meal and dresses Jacob in Esau’s garments. She places animal skins on his arms and neck, so that when Isaac (who was blind at the time) would touch him, he would think that Jacob is Esau.

Jacob approaches his father. “Father” he says. “Yes, who are you, my son?” Isaac asks. Jacob replies: “It is I, Esau your first born. I have done as you asked. Sit up and eat the game I trapped, so that your soul will bless me.” Isaac asks Jacob to approach him. “Let me touch you, my son. Are you really Esau or not?” When Isaac touches him he says: “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.” Isaac then proceeds to bless him with the most powerful blessings, “May G-d grant you the dew of heaven…”

Just when Isaac finishes blessing Jacob and Jacob leaves him, Esau returns only to discover that Jacob had “stolen” his blessings. “Your brother,” Isaac tells him, “came with deceit and he already took your blessing.” Esau lets out a very loud and bitter scream. “Isn’t he truly named Jacob (Yaakov). He went behind my back (akav) twice. First he took my birthright and now he took my blessing.”

This incident, documented in such detail, is absolutely bizarre. How could Rebecca and Jacob so blatantly deceive husband and father Isaac?! Can blessings be won through deceit? Even if Rebecca was convinced that Jacob deserved the blessings, why did she not attempt to communicate that to Isaac? And what was Isaac thinking; is he not a tzaddik who knew what he was doing? The questions go on and on.

The Torah portion continues with Rebecca sending Jacob away out of fear that Esau will kill him. At Rebecca and Isaac’s bidding, Jacob leaves and goes to Charan to find a wife.

Finally this week’s portion concludes with Esau following suit. Hearing that Isaac is displeased with the Canaanite girls – and therefore sent Jacob to find a wife among Abraham’s family – Esau goes to Ishmael and “marries Machlat daughter of Abraham’s son Ishmael, a sister of Nebayoth” [Ishmael’s eldest son].

So what is the story?

Recall, that this entire account of Esau and Jacob are the “chronicles of Isaac son of Abraham” which is a continuation of the chronicles of Ishmael and his children.

The story begins with Abraham, man of passionate faith. He sets the tone and establishes a relationship with G-d. He educates his children Ishmael and Isaac in this spirit, and they carry on the faith that Abraham taught them, each in their own way. Ishmael is excessive and untempered chesed (passion and love). Isaac is gevurah (discipline), the antithesis of chesed, that balances and channels the love of Abraham.

Ishmael in his “wildness” wanders away, only to return years later when he does teshuvah. “On the face of all his brethren he fell” (end of last week’s portion, Chayei Sarah) – Ishmael’s excessive faith must be tempered with the appropriate measure of discipline. When Ishmael did teshuvah and was humbled (‘fell’), he is elevated (tikkun).[1] (see at length last week’s article).

So, if Ishmael does teshuvah, why are we still having problems?

Because the forces unleashed have affected the universe and we still need to refine the world. Even after Abraham began the process of transforming the material world into a G-dly home, but that was just the beginning; even after all Abraham accomplished, the world is far from its intended purpose.

And so the story continues – ‘and these are the chronicles of Isaac.’ The next generation continues the process began by Abraham.

Following the struggles between chesed and gevurah in Abraham’s times, the new chapter carries this over to the next level. Just like Abraham’s chesed becomes excessive in Ishmael, the gevurah (severity, discipline) of Isaac becomes excessive in Esau. Esau is a warrior, a man of the field. As Isaac tells him: “You shall live by your sword.”[2] Jacob, on the other hand is a man of “peace,” a wholesome scholar dwelling in the tents of study.

The stage is set for another confrontation. Esau and Jacob are “two nations” that initially cannot co-exist in peace. They represent two forces in each of our lives and in the world as a whole. Esau symbolizes the body, the material world, whose untamed elements need to be conquered. Jacob symbolizes the soul, the spiritual world. Initially these two worlds do not co-exist. Matter and spirit are at war with each other. “When one rises the other falls.” Yet they need each other – they are ‘twins.’ The vulnerable soul without an aggressive body would not be able to survive in this harsh world. Each of us needs to have a “warrior” dimension to protect and defend against the difficult forces of material existence. But the body must have a soul within, and the soul must be the directing force in life. “The greater one – the powerful body – will serve the younger [gentler] soul.” Your body has to be a vehicle for your soul not the other way around. If the body and material drives are in control then the gevurah of the “warrior” becomes excessive.

How do you reconcile and integrate body and soul, matter and spirit – G-d and the universe? The soul must train and teach the body to sublimate itself so that together they can both serve and fulfill their purpose on Earth. The only way to relieve the tension between them, without compromising either, is to spiritualize the material.

But the body has its own agenda; it is not ready to ‘listen’ to the soul’s wisdom. It’s busy hunting, surviving in the best way it knows how. The solution is that the soul must satisfy and nourish the body on its (the body’s) terms and slowly direct and align it to a higher goal. The soul feeds the body with “stew” and gratifies the body’s immediate needs, with the intention to harness and channel the body’s powerful spirit (birthright) toward its Divine calling.

The soul must dress itself up in the “garments” of the material world in order to refine the world and channel the hidden blessings and strengths of the material world. Thus Jacob dresses in Esau’s garments to receive the blessings. The soul is not taking the blessings away from the body; it only protects them so that the body not destroy them, and the soul uses them to help train and refine the body until the time when the body can co-exist peacefully with the soul, as one seamless harmony[3] – “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.”

Isaac looking into the depths of Esau’s soul, felt that Esau might be ready. But Rebecca, his mother, saw that the time had not yet arrived. The world (Esau) was not yet refined, and she realized that Jacob would have to harness these blessings.

 Jacob introduces the third dimension called Tiferet, beauty, compassion. Following the chesed (love) of Abraham and Ishmael’s excess of chesed, and Isaac’s gevurah and Esau’s excess of gevurah, comes Jacob – the third and central pillar, that synthesizes and fuses the two in a healthy balance.

Esau in his own way tries to balance his excessive aggression (gevurah) by marrying the daughter of Ishmael (chesed). Machlat is her name, which means forgiveness, signifying the forgiving of sins upon marriage.[4]

The implications of these chronicles today are quite evident.

Following the confrontations between Ishmael and Isaac, Ishmael’s banishment and ultimately his teshuvah, the next stage begins with Esau and Jacob joining the scene. We now have before us Abraham, father of all nations, Ishmael father of the Arab/Muslim world, Esau, father of the Roman/Christian/Western world and Jacob, father of the Jewish world.

Though Ishmael does teshuvah, the world is not yet refined. Thus we need to go through the Esau-Jacob battle – the war of two nations – to achieve balance and harmony between G-d and the universe. The Romans destroying the Holy Temple, and then the wars of Christianity against Judaism – imposing their religion ‘by the sword’ – are all manifestations of Esau’s gevurah approach in his battles with the world.

While this battle gets under way, Esau attempts to join forces with Ishmael, only to backfire. The Midrash tells us that Esau’s intentions in marrying Ishmael’s daughter was to then to ensnare Ishmael in the following plot:

“You – Esau said to Ishmael – kill your brother Isaac. I will kill my brother Jacob. Then we will become one nation, remaining sole heirs to all of Abraham’s legacy and property! Ishmael refused: ‘Am I then like Cain who killed his brother?! No, I will not do as you suggest.” Esau’s intention was to then kill Ishmael, and he would be left the sole heir.[5]

What a wedding it must have been!

Though Esau and Ishmael join hands,[6] this marriage is far from simple. Ishmael refuses to participate in Esau’s plot against Isaac and Jacob. This sets the stage for later wars to come between Ishmael and Esau.

Ultimately the only healthy way to refine Ishmael and Esau (excessive chesed and gevurah) is through the balance of Jacob’s tiferet, which is driven by humility and selflessness. Chesed and gevurah as great as they can be, are driven by their own particular personality features. Tiferet is connected to bittul. Tiferet is the middle pillar, that runs up and down from ketter to malchut, and thus, like the spine holds up the entire structure. Tiferet is dedication and commitment to G-d and His will, and that is what allows it to transcend and unite the opposing personalities of love and aggression (chesed and gevurah).

So just when you thought that it was safe to go back into the water… Ishmael returns for a curtain call.

Abraham, Sarah, Ishmael, Isaac, Esau and Jacob – all the players and characters are in place. The question is: Are we?

*

Our hearts, condolences and prayers go out to all those that have suffered recent losses, and to all our brethren in Israel.

WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL THING YOU CAN DO TO HELP THE SITUATION IN ISRAEL?

Create a passionate spiritual revolution for the good.

As passions of violence have been released on us, against humanity, our most powerful response is to counter with a passionate revolution of purpose, with no less passion and drive than the evil being waged against us.

Please see War in Israel: What We Must Do for a list of practical suggestions.

For an elaborate related discussion on this topic, please go here to view Rabbi Jacobson’s latest class: Two Conflicting Voices: The Battle of the Twins.

Tags: matter and spirit, Islamism, chesed, gevurah, body and soul, Edom
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Biblical, Torah Personalities, Social, Ishmael, Isaac, Toldot, Torah, Rebecca, Esau, Terrorism, Jacob, Current Events | 30 Comments »

Helping a Drug Addicted Relative

November 9th, 2015

Shalom, I need some help. How can I help a relative who is dear to my heart recover from drug addiction, and what can I do when the drugs have mentally handicapped this person?

I hope you can help me,

[name redacted]

Dear [name redacted],

Drug addiction is a delicate issue that really needs to be addressed individually on a case-by-case basis making it difficult to address by email.  No two people are alike, nor are their circumstances.

In a drug addiction like that which you have described, there are two issues which really need to be addressed: the addiction itself, and the resulting “mental handicap”.  There needs to be an assessment of the various possible causes for the addiction, and of how far the person is mentally incapacitated—including professional medical and psychological diagnoses.

Another crucial factor in determining the appropriate course of action, is whether this drug addicted relative acknowledges the problem and is willing to pursue treatment, or is this person in denial with family and friends trying to intervene?

These are some of the issues that need to be considered, and there are more.  What I can say very generally, is that in dealing with problems such as this there are both short-term and long-term interventions.  The short-term issues tend to be primarily medical in nature and must be addressed by experts in the medical field, while the long-term “treatment” is usually deeper and requires analysis of the roots of the addiction.  Was the addicted person left vulnerable by some form of trauma?  In some cases, a drug habit started out as a fad or the result of peer-pressure and escalated into full-scale addiction, while in others it may have been started by a feeling of resignation, or the lack of a healthy outlet for a passion.

In helping a person overcome the grip of their addiction, it is often helpful to find healthy alternatives that can fill the void and help them channel their energies toward attaining healthy “highs.”

If you wish to share more details, I will be happy to address them accordingly.

Best,

Simon Jacobson

 Shalom again.

The original case I wrote to you about has gone through treatment and is doing much better, thank G-d.  I think G-d gave him the wake-up call we have been praying for.

But there is another situation. My cousin is addicted to cocaine, and he has really caused a lot of pain to his mother, and is about to lose his wife.

It is so frustrating, because he is the kind of guy who had all kinds of things going for him. He is messing everything up. In his eyes, he knows everything and there is nothing we can tell him that he doesn’t already know. He blames his mother and his wife for getting in his way, and says he had everything under control before they got involved. How can we find out what the root is? What can we do? His mother and wife tried putting him in rehab, but he just turned around and said that them getting involved  was the cause of all the trouble.

What advice can be given to his wife and mother?

Thanks for the advice, and please pray for him. (and also pray for the continual recovery of the first mentioned).

G-d bless,

[name redacted]

Dear [name redacted],

Unfortunately, in cases like the one you describe, often nothing can be done (except pray) until the individual himself gets to a point (often it comes after hitting “rock bottom”—G-d forbid) where he recognizes himself that his life has gotten out of control.

In this particular case, I would suggest that the wife and mother not openly intervene, but find a friend or a co-workers who he respects, or perhaps even his employer (I’m sure his work is also being affected by his addiction) to intervene in some way. Every person has a soft spot that is the opening to their heart, sometimes we really have to search and search until we find it.

Meanwhile, I will pray for those you’ve mentioned. Do you know their Hebrew names as well as their mothers’ Hebrew names?

Best,

Simon Jacobson

Tags: addiction, intervention, denial, relative, peer pressure, vulnerability, drugs
Posted in Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology, Pain & Suffering | 1 Comment »