January 29th, 2020
Exile & Redemption in Light of Today’s Events
The detailed story of the exile and exodus – the enslavement and freedom – from Egypt tells the story of our traps and our search for true freedom today.
Each of us has mitzrayim constraints in our lives – our physical, psychological, emotional, intellectual and spiritual inhibitions and blocks.
Real freedom can be achieved only when we transcend our confines and limitations. Yet, the constraints themselves are part of the freedom process: We cannot achieve freedom unless we undergo the limitation experience. Therein lies the paradox: To truly get out of mitzrayim you need to first be in mitzrayim.
Thus the Talmud states: In each generation [and each day] a person must see himself as if he left mitzrayim.
Each moment in time is filled with possibilities. In each moment we have the power to create real change. Yet, there are distinct moments in history when a window of opportunity opens up – a crack that can catapult us to a new place.
These cracks are rare. And even when they open, they quickly close, precipitated by the complacency that quickly returns. Change, you will always find, is in direct disproportion to the reverie of apathy.
When an opportunity comes your way, grab it. Because once the moment passes and life returns ‘to normal,’ you will surely forget.
The Egyptian exile was the first such crack. With all its pain and misery, it strengthened the Israelites and transformed them into a free people – free forever. When all else fails, it is the struggle itself that forces you to connect to your deepest strength, to the essence of your being and to G-d. Mitzrayim is compared to a furnace in which gold is purified, separating the pure gold from the dross. The Jews in Egypt elevated and purified the negativity and darkness of Mitzrayim, and they in turn were purified by the encounter. Once you have experienced the furnace, you can never be truly hurt by it again.
Today’s upheavals — in the form of rising public acts of antisemitism — is another such crack. One could have detected signs of things to come before the recent wave of events — in Pittsburgh, Poway, Jersey City and most recently in Monsey, NY. Indeed, there were the rare visionaries that foresaw the unfolding events. But it is now becoming obvious to the masses.
But cracks are strange creatures. Though they open up new possibilities and allow in new light, by their very nature cracks demoralize and frighten us. After all, who wants to leave the comfortable embrace of the womb? Cracks shake up our comfort zones, exposing our vulnerability and fragility. Thus, when we have been spoiled long enough and are so attached to old paradigms, even the turbulence of our times, which has unfortunately become a “norm,” don’t change us so quickly. It only wakes us up, and even then many of us are desperately hoping that the nightmare will end and we can go back to the past. We always gravitate back to our ‘natural’ states, and resist change.
The question we must ask ourselves, even as we drift back to old but comfortable reference points, is: “What exactly is normal anyway?” “Is it possible – even remotely – possible – that I may be mistaken, that my life and all that I believed is perhaps a Matrix, a pattern that I’ve gotten used to? Am I willing to consider that a new paradigm, a new world is possible?”
Are you willing to bet that new possibilities are impossible? And if it happens to turn out that things do really change – am I prepared?
People are always asking: “how can I change things in my life?” “I am stuck in old patterns; every time I try to change things, I end up back in the same old place.” “What will it take to chart and maintain a new course?”
Well, my friends: Change requires change. Change cannot be affected if you do not change things. If you think what you thought, say what you said, do what you did, what will you have? You will have what you had…
When we read about the challenge of mitzrayim in a time when we are squeezed between a weakened confidence in our former structures and an uncertain future, we must see this as a unique opportunity to wake up: perhaps this is our time to affect real change. Time to start thinking differently, speaking differently, acting differently.
After all: if nothing changes, nothing changes.
Tags: change, action, paradigm shift, freedom, anti-semitism, Egypt, transcendence, self-development
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Beliefs & Concepts, Vayeira, Free Choice, Personal Life, Social, Torah, Emotions & Psychology | 1 Comment »
January 28th, 2020
We tend to think of failure as negative, and as a reflection of the skills, value, and potential of a person. That outlook unfortunately keeps people from progressing in life and fulfilling their dreams. What if you could change your view of failure, so that you embrace it rather than fear it? These three ideas will disrupt your perception of failure. Try them out to help overcome your fear of failure.
You Are Not Isolated in Your Fear of Failure
The loneliness of fear is its most toxic element. Fear convinces us that we are alone in our suffering. Fear would have you believe that you are the only person who has ever failed, or that all people who fail are losers. You must absolutely trust that even the most talented among us fail, and even experience fear of failure. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is not that one failed and the other didn’t. A universal characteristic of successful people is that they overcome their fears by taking risks and learning from mistakes. It is a universal human experience. You are far from isolated in your experience of fear of failure, and you are far from isolated in your experience of failure itself.
Stop Predicting the Future
Even when you are doing things “perfectly”, failure is a possibility. Consider decisions that you have made that seemed flawless at the time, but led to unforeseen consequences. Perhaps you invested in a commercial real estate venture that everyone considered to be a sure bet, and its value tanked. Or perhaps you played a statistically perfect hand on one of the best online poker sites, only to lose your chips to a highly improbable river card. In either case, you chose the most logical way of doing something, only to find that the outcome was ultimately out of your hands. You can’t predict the future. You can only make the best decision you can given the information you have at the time. You can’t control the future, and you can’t predict it, so don’t let it stop you from trying. You can say, “What if I fail?” But you could also say, “What if I succeed?”
Overcome Fear of Failure By Becoming An Expert
If you experience fear of failure, replace fear of failure with this understanding: If you have done something one way and it hasn’t worked, then try another way. If that way doesn’t work, try another way. Try a hundred different ways. Try two hundred different ways. Through doing things differently, you’ll learn — in depth — about whatever it is you are trying to do. Instead of fearing it, you’ll become an expert on it. Failure is an opportunity to become an expert, rather than a victim. After all, experiencing cause and effect is normal; sitting around paralyzed by fear of failure is not. Don’t let your fear get the best of you — just try something different.
Exercise: Of the events of the past day, select one thing you didn’t do because of fear of failure. Identify an alternative course of action. Record your answer in MyMLC.
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Fear is the Enemy of Success
Wednesday, January 29, 2020 @8:30pm
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Go deeper into this subject: Overcoming Fear, Fear Is Really About Loneliness
Tags: family, fear, faith
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 3 Comments »
January 27th, 2020
Joseph could not control his emotions… [He asked everyone to leave his presence]. No one else was with him when Joseph revealed himself to his brothers. He began to weep with such loud sobs that the Egyptians could hear it…
His brothers were so startled, they could not respond. ‘Please come close to me,’ said Joseph to his brothers. When they came closer he said: ‘I am Joseph your brother. You sold me to Egypt. But don’t worry or feel guilty because you sold me, for G-d has sent me ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the area… G-d sent me ahead of you to insure that you survive in the land and to sustain you through great deliverance. It is not you who sent me here, but G-d. He has made me Pharaoh’s vizier, master of his entire government and ruler of all Egypt – Genesis 45:1-11
Jacob might have had to be brought down to Egypt in chains, but he merited that [it should come about as described by the prophet:] ‘I shall draw them with human cords, with ropes of love.…’”(Talmud, Shabbat 89b). There was a cow that needed to be placed in a yoke that did not allow herself to be yoked. What did they do? They took her calf from her and led it to the place that they wanted her to plow. The calf began to bleat. When the cow heard her calf bleating, she went, in spite of herself, for the sake of her calf. In the same way, G-d wanted to fulfill the decree [of the Egyptian exile], so He contrived all these things so that [Jacob and his family] should come down to Egypt. (Midrash Tanchuma, Vayeishev 4). G-d said: ‘My firstborn child I shall take down [to Egypt] in disgrace? … I shall lead his son before him, and he will follow, in spite of himself.’ (Midrash Rabbah, Bereishit 86:1)
Hemingway wrote: Life breaks all people, but some are stronger in the broken places.
What type of world do we live in? So many bad things happen around us that one cannot help but ask whether we live, after all, in a cruel world, with little hope for improvement?
Is Hemingway right: Does life break all people? What hope can we then look forward to? Are we just victims of circumstances with no real control of our destiny: If we’re lucky we’ll make it through, and if not, G-d forbid, then tough luck?!
In a fascinating and twisted sense of cosmic irony, the Biblical Joseph’s suffering illuminates for us one of the most powerful messages we will ever hear: By facing the true nature of our dark existence, we access the deepest form of light.
~~~~
Twenty-two years passed from the time that Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery until the moment when they reunited. 22 years!
One could have expected that Joseph would have been so angry that he would never forgive his brothers. Think what you would do if your siblings tried to kill you and then sold you into captivity as a pitiful slave, abandoning you for the rest of your life! I could only imagine the hours of therapy any one of us would be going to, and the enormous anger that we would be venting the rest of our lives.
What did Joseph do?
When Joseph finally reveals himself to his brothers, instead of fury and revenge, Joseph ends up calming his mortified brothers: “Do not feel guilty,” he tells them, “for it is not you who sent me here, but G-d,” in order to save lives!
I mean, Joseph should have been livid and his brothers should have been soothing him. Instead, it is Joseph who is the calming voice!
Was Joseph so detached that he forgot all the pain that his brothers caused him? Hardly. Joseph was anything but detached. It was Joseph that “could not control his emotions;” it was Joseph that had dedicated his life to managing Egypt’s crops in the seven years of plenty, directing the sale of grain that served as the region’s food supply in the years of hunger that followed; and finally, it was Joseph who saved the life of his father and family. One could hardly call this detached. Joseph was quite invested in what he saw as his Divine mission: To use his position of power to save lives, the lives of his family.
What was unique about Joseph that allowed him to transcend all the anguish that his brothers caused him?
The fascinating question is this: What was unique about Joseph that allowed him to transcend all the anguish that his brothers caused him, and have the presence of mind and heart to recognize that “it is not you who sent me here [to Egypt], but G-d”?! How did Joseph have such power and clarity? Above all, how can we access this power?
Ostensibly we can explain that Joseph’s descent into Egypt (V’Yosf hurod mitzraymoh’ – Genesis 39:1) heralded the beginning of Jacob and his family’s descent, which ultimately led to the entire Egyptian exile. This descent was foretold to Abraham (Genesis 15:13-14), and was surely known to Joseph, as being part of the Divine plan.
As such, Joseph clearly understood that his descent into Egypt was destined by G-d, not by his brothers. Had his brothers not sold him into slavery, G-d would have found another, perhaps a more painful way, to get him and his family into Egypt.
What was the significance of the descent into Egypt? Mitzrayim (Hebrew for Egypt) means constraints. The descent into Mitzrayim represents the spiritual plunge each of us takes when we enter into this material world, with all the limits and inhibitions that life on earth imposes upon us. On a cosmic scale it reflects the very nature of our existence – which is a result of a quantum leap from the Higher Reality of Divine Unity into the confines of a dualistic and pluralistic world.
Joseph understood the big picture, that his predicament reflects the challenge of life itself – the radical descent into a material world.
Yet, we still need to understand how this knowledge and awareness helped Joseph get beyond the pain of his brother’s atrocity toward him. How was he able to so calmly declare that they should not feel guilty, for it was G-d and not them that sent him to Egypt?
Joseph understood the process intellectually. And perhaps each of us can glean a lesson from Joseph how we must deal with our own challenges, not to blame others, even the perpetrators, but to recognize the reasons G-d may have placed us in a particular situation.
But how did Joseph deal with it emotionally – how was he able to get beyond the fact that his brothers perpetrated his sale into slavery, and they did so out of their own free will, for which they were unquestionably responsible? And how are we to deal with our challenges emotionally: Even when our minds know that our predicament is meant to be, how do we get beyond our feelings of rage and unfairness at those that may have hurt us?
To answer this question, we need to probe into Joseph’s mind and try to figure out his perception of life and existence as a whole, and especially of darkness and difficult life experiences, reflected in his descent into Egypt.
There are essentially two ways one can tackle a problem: 1/ Deal with the symptoms, 2/ Deal with the roots.
By nature, most of us gravitate to symptomatic solutions. First of all, we don’t usually deal with a problem until it hits us in the face. Secondly, even when we do seek out a cure, we look for band-aids and painkillers to rid ourselves of the immediate and presenting symptom.
There may be nothing wrong with this approach when dealing with short term and immediate problems. The trouble begins when dealing with a long-term problem, one that has deep roots, and cannot be remedied with a quick fix. Of course, any long-term challenge requires short-term intervention, but that’s just for the moment; it can never replace the need to get to the root cause of the disease.
Similarly and much more so is this true about the dark areas of our lives – our so-called shadows. Darkness by definition is shrouded in obscurity. When we have a dark experience – something that causes us pain, grief or the likes – we can tackle it in two ways: 1/ We look at the immediate cause and try to eliminate it, 2/ We search for the root cause that allowed the darkness in the first place.
Joseph understood that for him to make any sense of his predicament he must search not for the symptoms of his problems, but for their roots. He must understand the very nature of existence that allows for people, even brothers, to hurt each other in awful ways.
True, each person is responsible for his or her behavior. But the real question is what kind of world did G-d create allowing the possibility that people can harm each other? If the underlying truth is that all people are but different parts of an integral unity, how is it that one part can intentionally hurt another? Is it possible that one hand would attack another on the same body?
The answer lies in understanding the very nature of existence as we know it, the nature of the descent into the confines of mitzrayim. What is the essential nature of existence: Darkness or light?
On a personal and psychological level, most people would say that life is darker rather than lighter.
In the Talmudic words of the School of Shammai: “It is more pleasant for a person to not be created than to be created” (Talmud Eiruvin 13b).
According to Science magazine, the greatest scientific breakthrough of the year 2003 was the confirmation that “dark energy” and “dark matter” is the stuff that makes up the overwhelming majority of our universe. This is a major development in physics, and quite a surprising one at that. Because until this discovery, all the objects scientists knew about shared one attribute – they gave off light. Now we know that the particles that we’re all familiar with (like electrons and protons) make up only 4 percent of known matter. The rest is either “dark matter” or “dark energy,” called by that name because it represents the bulk of the universe that cannot be seen.
The universe is first and foremost a dark place.
Fascinatingly, this confirms what every mystic, and for that matter, any Bible reader, always knew: The universe is first and foremost a dark place. The first description of the universe in the opening verses of the Bible states that “the earth was empty (or chaotic) and void and darkness prevailed over existence.” Only afterwards does G-d say, “There shall be light,” and light came into existence.
On its own this Biblical opening is cryptic.
The opening line of the Zohar (Genesis) begins: “In the beginning of the King’s authority, the Lamp of Darkness engraved a hollow in the Supernal Luminescence.”
This too however is quite cryptic. The great 16th century mystic, Rabbi Isaac Luria (the Arizal), in the opening of his classic work the Etz Chaim (Tree of Life), explains this primal darkness with what is called the Great Primordial Tzimtzum: In the beginning (conceptually, not in time) the light of the Ein Sof (the infinite light) filled all of existence; G-d then concealed His omnipresent light (energy) in order to allow “room” for the consciousness of an independent existence.
In other words there are two types of consciousness, or two dimensions of reality: Pre-Tzimtzum and Post-Tzimtzum. The Higher reality (Daas Elyon) is a Divine consciousness that is all encompassing. The lower reality (Daas tachton) is an existential consciousness that sees its own existence as primary and can barely sense a reality outside of its own.
The tzimtzum is “dark energy” – a type of negative energy or negative light, void of matter. The letters of the “reshimu” (a type of “residue” that remains after the tzimtzum) is “dark matter,” which would “later” evolve into the containers (“keilim”) of existence. (More on this in a future column).
The fact that these classic works – the Bible, the Zohar and the Etz Chaim – all open up with a description of the nature of existence as a dark place, tells us that this information is critical and fundamental to understanding the nature of existence. We cannot understand our universe and our lives if we don’t know that the beginning of the universe is rooted in a state of primordial darkness.
Furthermore: Ironically, we can never overcome the darkness and difficulties of our lives if we don’t face and respect the fact that the essential stuff of our existence is rooted in darkness.
However, with one critical qualification: Darkness alone is not the goal nor the ultimate essence of existence. It is only a means to allow existence to come into being. Beneath – or within – the darkness lies light, indeed, the deepest light of all. In other words: Darkness is just another form of light/energy, and its purpose is to reveal light. But in order to uncover the light we must first recognize the darkness for what it is. This then allows us to illuminate the darkness with light, “let there be light.”
During his 22 years in Egypt Joseph came to understand this essential truth – the fundamental nature of the existential confines of Mitzrayim. Joseph learned that life does not become cruel because people do bad things to you. Life is cruel because G-d created a universe that shrouds its true purpose and feels disconnected from its source. A world in which people do not sense their inherent unity allows the potential for people to hurt each other. Darkness is not just about having a bad experience (the symptoms), but about a dark world that allows us to have bad experiences (the root cause). Negative life experiences are symptoms of a dark world that does not feel connected to its source.
A simple example: You buy a computer and you don’t follow the manufacturers instructions. A year passes without incident. One day your entire computer crashes, with no reversible way for you to retrieve all your valuable information. When did the problem begin: When the computer crashed, or on day one, when you didn’t follow the instructions?
The Bible, as explained by the Zohar and the Arizal tells us that the world is a dark place from the very outset, even if its symptoms manifest at a later stage.
To master this secret, we ought not wait until something bad happens to us. Rather, we need to confront the root cause of what makes it possible for humans to hurt one another.
That’s what Joseph figured out. And this vital point gave him the power to transcend that darkest chapter of his life. Joseph learned to focus on the root of the problem, not its symptoms. His brothers did sell him into slavery unjustifiably; they did deserve to be punished for their behavior. But, at the same time Joseph appreciated a deeper fact: Life itself – existence by its very nature – is a dark place. Dark – as in having no idea which is the right path to happiness, to the extent that we can spend a lifetime traveling on a wrong and even self-destructive course; dark – as in the fact that our existence is disconnected from its source, that we don’t feel rooted in our mission, that we can live our lives and convince ourselves that we are happy even when we have no idea what the purpose of our life is and that we even have a purpose.
22 years in Mitzrayim gave Joseph enough time to discover that darkness didn’t begin and end with his brothers’ actions. Joseph knew that his being in Mitzrayim came from G-d; that his suffering had purpose and meaning, and was not just a random result of other people’s crimes. He did not blame his problems on his brothers, on himself or on any other scapegoat; he understood that the true challenge of life is about the darkness of existence, regardless whether your life is working out or not, regardless whether you feel the darkness or not. And he knew that G-d created the dark world in order for him, and for us, to illuminate it, to use our opportunities to sustain life and save life, to transform Mitzrayim into a source of sustenance and life for the entire world – a fertile ground that brings “great deliverance.”
This was the only way for Joseph to redeem his being sold into slavery, to redeem the 22 years of hardship and being so brutally severed from his beloved father – that the purpose of the darkness itself is that Joseph discover the deeper light within, and bring it to the surface.
That is why Joseph didn’t get angry with his brothers. On the contrary, he had the unique opportunity to teach them – and all of us – that the darkness of life that we all experience is not just on the surface, symptomatic level of grief we feel at the moment, but the darkness of life itself, of existence itself – the darkness that G-d Himself created. Once we know that, we can begin to free ourselves of its traps and shadowy dark tentacles.
People may have hurt you, situations may have disappointed you, circumstances may have been unfair.
But remember, Joseph said, “it is not you who sent me here but G-d.”
It is not people, events and circumstances that create a dark world where there is always potential danger, but it is G-d who created it.
To hear the sound of darkness, we need to first recognize the true darkness of our lives. That darkness is not the immediate pain and despair we may be experiencing at the moment; those are only symptoms. It is the state of affairs – the state of being – of existence that ALLOWS such pain to exist in the first place.
In other words the nature of existence as we know it – even if your life is going perfectly – is a natural state of darkness: Disconnected from its source.
The darkness of your immediate pain can perhaps not have a sound; but the larger backdrop of darkness that frames all our life experiences definitely has a sound.
But to hear this sound of (dark) silence we need to first hear the silence of sound – to recognize and be fully cognizant of the fact that the sounds of our lives, even the most pleasant ones, are all but part of the cosmic “matrix” that encases us in a glass box with a glass ceiling. It may be fancy and expensive glass, or even stained glass, but it’s still a box.
Once we are aware of the walls that confine us, and we hear the resounding silence of these loud but hollow walls, how insignificantly quiet it is in contrast to the higher reality, we then can begin to perceive what lies beyond the glass doors, and sense the sound within the silence of the tzimtzum and beyond.
This is turn allows us into the pre-tzimtzum “universe” (reality and consciousness), which is beyond silence and beyond sound, beyond darkness and beyond light – a place where it all makes sense, because it doesn’t have to make sense. A place where all our experiences meld into one seamless whole – everything as an extension of the ultimate Unity and its infinite manifestations.
But these are just words. It’s easier said than done. Yet the words are necessary in order to provide us with a point of reference. We MUST know that our perceived reality is not the entire picture. We MUST know that this box in which we live is precisely that: A confined box, shrouded in layers upon layers, concealing anything beyond or within. The mystics call it a kelipah – a shell, that protects but also conceals the fruit within.
Once we know that, we have the power to puncture the invisible curtain that doesn’t allow us to experience all of reality.
Astounding! G-d’s mysterious infinite power created silence; we have the power to pierce the Divine silence. But only after we recognize the reality of this silence, and that requires that we first realize that the sounds we hear and think are so loud and powerful are truly very silent and concealing.
The sound of the tzimtzum echoes throughout history. Its reverberations felt in every loss, in every tragedy, in every injustice. But even without tragedy, the tzimtzum is the force that allows us to exist but also locks us into a steel trap where we think that this is where it’s at. It would be comical if it weren’t so tragic to one day realize that you have been living a lie. You thought you were where it’s at, and then you discover that this is not where it’s at. Our reality is a limited box that cannot see out of its own window. Cannot even see that there is a window, that there is a curtain, a door, an opening. And doesn’t even feel the need for an opening – we are self-sufficient and have everything we need. With three cars, four homes, 8 tv sets, two dogs, three cats and some fish, throw in a spouse or two – what else do we need?
So, after all is said and done, what is the root of all our problems? The root is the existential detachment created by the tzimtzum.
Yet, as powerful as this cosmic “black hole” may be, it is not airtight. If you look closely, you can discern subtle particles within “dark energy.” If you listen intently you can detect faint sounds within the “dark matter.”
Can you hear them?
Tags: Joseph, kabbalah, exile, darkness, purpose of life, mysticism, tzimtzum, higher reality
Posted in Biblical, Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Soul & Mystical, Beliefs & Concepts, Personal Life, Torah Personalities, Exile, Spiritual, Torah, Pain & Suffering, Joseph, Vayigash | 10 Comments »
January 26th, 2020
“Men darf zich tzuheren vos di lichtelech dertzeilen” – we need to listen to what the Chanukah flames tell us – says the Rebbe Yosef Yitzchak.
But how do we listen to flames? We can see them; we can study and meditate on them. But light is a visual, not an audible, experience. A pure flame does not give off a sound. So how do we listen to the Chanukah flames?
The answer lies in understanding the nature of the flames and in their message to us. Why do we light Chanukah candles in the first place? The historical/technical reason is to commemorate the miracle of discovering and lighting the oil of the Menorah in the time of the second Temple, after the Greco-Syrians defiled it. However, the question remains: Why is the light of the Menorah so important in the first place that we should care about its desecration and reconsecration? What power do these flames contain that till this very day we continue to kindle them every year on Chanukah?
“The flame of G-d is the human soul.” The light of the Menorah is the light of your soul, and the story of the flame is the story of your life. Look closely at a flame and you can see yourself in its flicker. The flame licking the air reflects your soul’s transcendent yearnings. The restless flame tells the story of our restless lives, as we fluctuate between tension and resolution. The light generated from the burning fuel mirrors the work we do in transforming matter into spirit (energy). The light and warmth of the flame is the way we should be illuminating and warming every person we meet.
To appreciate the Chanukah flames we need to not just look and see them; we need to listen to them – listen to the flames as they manifest in our souls, and its dignified journey on this earth.
And this is no small feat. Most of our time and energy is immersed and invested in our needs to survive and function in the material world. We have little time and strength for our souls. Comes Chanukah and compels us to stop. To slow down our outward drives that so consume us, and travel inward. Light a flame each night, and then listen to its story. Look deep into the flame and you will see… yourself. This restless, rising, illuminating, warming flame is YOU. The real you. Not the one that wears many different masks to suit different occasions. Not the “outer you” submerged in your material struggles. The flame is the real you – your soul waiting to be released.
Last night I had the privilege to experience the release of many good souls, at our Chanukah celebration in our new home in the East Village. With drums, light, melodies and just plain warmth and tenderness – a few hundred souls came alive. Above all: We listened. We listened to the flames, to each other, to voices within and above ourselves; we listened to our souls instead of our bodies. For those few hours at least, we freed ourselves from the narrow confines of our daily routines, which hold us hostage in its tentacles, and allowed our souls to take over.
The result: Pure magic. Unbelievable energy. That is the power released when matter converts into energy.
I have been blessed with the opportunity to bring souls together; to bridge people from diverse backgrounds and create new connections of networking souls intersecting and intertwining with each other. Is there a greater pleasure in life than to see souls breathing, connecting, creating music together?
And when matter converts into energy – voila! Magic happens.
Try it out. Gather family and friends, and for that matter, strangers as well. Gather in a Chanukah celebration or any get-together that lifts people from their immediate, materialistic concerns to a sublime environment. And watch those flames rise; witness the power and energy that rises when souls come alive.
Listen to the flames. Listen to your soul. Listen to your children. Listen to others.
Speak less. Listen more.
Listen.
Happy Chanukah.
Tags: Chanukah, light and darkness, inner self, Divine energy, energy
Posted in Biblical, Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Soul & Mystical, Months & Holidays, Chanukah, Kislev, Modern, Torah Personalities, Spiritual, Torah, Rebbe Rayatz, Mikeitz | 1 Comment »
January 25th, 2020
Do you ever feel stuck in your life? Unable to get out of a rut?
In this week’s Torah portion, Joseph is far more than stuck. Almost killed by his brothers, he is thrown into a pit, then sold into slavery, ends up in Egypt, then thrown into prison. For 13 years Joseph suffered until things miraculously turned around.
What was Joseph’s attitude all this time? He had every excuse to play the victim and feel sorry for himself. Wasn’t he, after all, trapped in a hopeless predicament? He had every reason to be furious and vengeful. Instead, Joseph, with his head high, takes it all and never forgets G-d and his father, Jacob. And when he finally reunites with his brothers 22 years later, he tells his shocked siblings:
You sold me to Egypt. But don’t worry or feel guilty…for G-d has sent me ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the area… G-d sent me ahead of you to insure that you survive in the land and to sustain you through great deliverance. It is not you who sent me here, but G-d. He has made me Pharaoh’s vizier, master of his entire government and ruler of all Egypt.
Joseph did not feel stuck. He always knew, though he may not have seen it with his eyes, that “it is not you who sent me here, but G-d.”
Imagine: A 17-year old boy sold into slavery. 13 years later he rises from captivity to become viceroy of Egypt. Some 7 years later he turns Egypt into a superpower. 22 years from the time he was sold, he controls the destiny of his brothers and father, and for that matter, of the entire populated world!
Are you still feeling stuck?
* * *
I spent a weekend at a retreat in Running Springs, California. Nestled in the serene San Bernardino Mountains, with 200 beautiful people, we celebrated life together and its endless possibilities.
Mrs. Miriam Swerdlov, a compelling and engaging educator, with a good dash of humor, shared with me the following story: She once traveled with a group to a mid-winter convention in Detroit. Their return flight was delayed due to a snow storm. They called and notified the Rebbe that they were “stuck at the airport” waiting for the snow to subside. The Rebbe told his secretary to ask them what the word “stuck” means. No, not the literal translation; rather, the Rebbe had never heard that a person was stuck in any situation. We are never stuck in a place. There is a reason for being wherever we are.
As Divine providence would have it, in the same week I was privileged to meet first hand a person who, by all accounts would be considered “stuck,” and he found a “way” out.
A certain Rabbi bumps into me in a store, and asks if he recognizes me from somewhere. (If one can’t be “stuck” I guess “bump” is also not the right word). I didn’t recall, but he did. “I once came to consult with you about publishing my commentary on the Talmud in English,” he tells me. A 25-volume commentary at that. It’s not every day that you meet someone who has authored 25 volumes on the Talmud.
If that’s not enough, listen to this. “And what do you today,” I ask. “I head a school for young adults suffering from mental disorders, such as autism, schizophrenia, bi-polar, Down syndrome and Asperger syndrome.”
I gulp.
The rabbi tells me that he himself has four mentally challenged children, and what motivated him to establish this special school was the Rebbe. Years ago the Rebbe had told him, “through ‘v’shenantem l’vonecho” you will merit ‘v’debarto bom.’” By educating your children in Torah you will be blessed that you and they will communicate – and connect – with each other.
The rabbi thus started the school, which now educates, according to the rabbi, 28 special students. In the twelve years since its founding, the school has produced eight students who have integrated into mainstream educational institutions, and four who have graduated and hold steady jobs.
“Were the Rebbe’s words fulfilled? Has the children’s education visibly improved their communication skills?”
“Let me share with you the following episode,” he tells me, “and you will judge for yourself whether there was a visible improvement in the children.”
“At the conclusion of one semester we celebrated the graduation of some of our students. Since some of our financial support comes from the USA, we felt it appropriate to organize a similar event in New York, for the supporters to witness with their own eyes the progress of the children they are helping educate.
“At the event, we made a Siyum haShas (conclusion of the Talmud), and I told my autistic son that he would be the next speaker. My son, for the record, had never spoken before in public. I introduced him, and here is what he said:
“Do you know what it says in the last Rashi of the entire Talmud? The Talmud concludes with the statement ‘whoever studies Torah laws every day is assured of life in the World to Come, for it says Halichos (the ways of the world) are his (Chabakuk 3:6). Do not read halichos but halachos (Torah laws).’ Explains Rashi that ‘halochos’ means ’mishne u’breisah, halocho l’moshe m’sinai” (different bodies of law).
“But there is another ‘halocho-halicho,’ another form of movement, which Rashi does not mention: The strides that my father took in establishing our school, and the great progress that the students have made from being locked in their ‘shells’ to reaching unimaginable heights…”
This is the triumph of the human spirit. Never stuck, never trapped, never hopeless. Always brimming with hope, enthusiasm and the belief in endless possibilities.
Based on the above, it seems appropriate that the description of the rabbi’s school should not be “for students with mental disorders,” but rather “special children,” not as euphemism, but to recognize the special strengths that their souls contain.
* * *
I wrote these words on Yud Tes Kislev, another great day of triumph – when one man, imprisoned by the Czar’s regime, was released from prison. The Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, recognized, just as Joseph did so many years earlier, that he was not “stuck;” his captivity was part of G-d’s higher plan. And indeed, his imprisonment and subsequent freedom – just as Joseph’s – became a permanent holiday, celebrating the advent of unprecedented revelations of spiritual wisdom, known as Chassidus, empowering us with the ability to transform our contemporary lives.
Tags: Life's Challenges, Joseph, Chassidus, Spirituality
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Biblical, Torah Personalities, Torah, Vayeishev, Joseph | 11 Comments »
January 20th, 2020
Rachel Weeps for Her Children
Dear Rabbi,
…I am one of those unfortunate souls who never had a nurturing mother. I often stroll in the park just to watch a mother adoringly walk her young child, holding her hand, with endless love and care. Oh, how I long so for such love – for the love that only a mother can give.
I know, I know and have been told countless times to grow up and begin to accept that life is not fair; “learn to love yourself,” I have been told. I have heard it all. God knows the hours I have spent with therapists, gurus, soothsayers and healers – some better than others. But I still seek that motherly love. Call me a coward, call me immature. I want to be adored. Is it too much to ask for?
Please tell me something – anything – that can soothe my weary soul.
Tired and forlorn,
B.
The story of Rachel our mother, who dies at a the young age of 36 in this week’s Torah portion, is one of the most moving accounts you will ever read, and one that nurtures us till this very day.
Rachel began to give birth. Her labor was extremely difficult… She was dying, and as she breathed her last breath, she named the child Ben-oni (My Sorrow’s Son). His father called him Benjamin. Rachel died and was buried on the road to Ephrath, now known as Bethlehem. Jacob set up a monument on her grave. This is the monument that is on Rachel’s grave to this very day (Genesis 35:16-20).
Rachel’s sad death in childbirth, giving her life for her newborn child, would personify Rachel’s historical role as the quintessential mother who would sacrifice herself for her children, throughout the ages, until the end of time.
Why was our mother Rachel buried on the road and not in the Machpelah Cave in Chevron where the “founding” four couples (Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, and later Jacob and Leah) were laid to rest? Chevron is not that far from Bethlehem. Why did Jacob not make the extra effort to honor his beloved wife and accord her the dignity of a proper burial in a respectable resting place, beside all the Patriarchs and Matriarchs?!
Jacob himself, lying on his own deathbed, answered this question, when he made Joseph swear to bury him in Chevron together with his fathers: And I, when I came from Paddan, Rachel died by me in the Land of Canaan, on the road, a short distance from Efrat; and I buried her there on the road to Efrat, which is Bethlehem (Genesis 48:7). I am asking you to trouble yourself to take me to be buried in the [Holy] Land… even though I did not do the same for your mother. She died near Bethlehem … and I did not even take her to Bethlehem to bring her to [a settled place in] the Land. I know that there is resentment in your heart toward me [over this]. But know that it was by Divine command that I buried her there, so that she should be a help for her children when Nevuzaradan [of Babylon] will exile them and they will pass by there. Then Rachel will come out upon her grave and weep and plead for mercy for them, as it is written: “A voice is heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping; Rachel is weeping for her children and refuses to be comforted for her children, because they are away. And G-d will answer her: Restrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work will be rewarded, says G-d; and they will return from the land of the enemy. There is hope for your future… that your children will return to their own borders (Jeremiah 31:14-16).
Indeed, Rachel’s motherly tears were recognized by Jacob when he first met her: When Rachel the shepherdess appeared with her father’s sheep, “Jacob kissed Rachel and lifted up his voice and wept” (Genesis 29:9-11). Why did he weep? Because he foresaw that Rachel would not be buried at his side (Rashi), so that she could cry and plead for her suffering children (Shaloh). In other words, upon setting his eyes on Rachel for the very first time Jacob wept for all the tears that Rachel would shed for her children.
Every detail in Torah is both precise and relevant to our lives. What is the deeper significance of all these tears – both Rachel’s and Jacob’s? Practically speaking, how is the location of Rachel’s burial place on the road “a help for her children?” True, her exiled children were surely consoled as they passed by her grave on their way out of Jerusalem. But why are Rachel’s tears more effective in her grave on the road than had she been weeping from the Machpelah burial place?
Above all, how does it help us today to know that Rachel lays buried on the road and weeps for her children, and that Jacob wept thinking about it?
The answer can be found in the book of Tanya (chapter 45), where he presents a powerful meditation on achieving spiritual awareness based on the psycho-spiritual application of Rachel and Jacob: Rachel is the supernal attribute of Malchut – the power of dignity – the source of all souls. Jacob is the dimension of Tiferet – compassion – arousing empathy for the soul’s traumatic descent into the material universe.
Every soul on earth, the Tanya explains, begins its journey in the spiritual realms and from there it is thrust into “exile” in a physical body and universe that conceals the soul’s presence and all things spiritual.
The Divine spark of the soul is in effect trapped in the narrow confines of our mundane existence even if one never transgresses, causing a profound state of spiritual and existential dissonance. How much more so is the spiritual exile when we become enmeshed in our narcissistic behavior, unrefined thoughts, speech or deeds, which further displaces the Divine soul, and, by extension, the soul’s Divine source, causing, what is called, the esoteric doctrine of the “Exile of the Shechinah.”
Rachel manifests and identifies with this spiritual exile of Malchut. She therefore paid the price by dying in childbirth, and then dwelling in a lonely wayside grave in order to bear witness to the suffering of her children. As long as her children are wandering and oppressed Rachel cannot find any final rest and remains with them “on the road”. “Rachel weeps for her children and refuses to be comforted.”
And what is Jacob’s role in this process? Tanya explains that Jacob represents compassion – a potent method to awaken the exiled soul (and Shechinah) from its displacement.
This continues Tanya, is the meaning of the verse “And Jacob kissed Rachel and lifted up his voice and wept:”
“Jacob — with his supernal attribute of Divine mercy (of Atzilut) — arouses great compassion for Rachel, the source of all souls. “And he lifted up his voice” — upwards, to the fount of the Higher Mercies, to the source of the Thirteen Divine Attributes of Mercy. “And he wept” — in order to awaken and draw from there, from the boundless Divine Mercies, abundant compassion upon all the souls and upon their source, to raise them from their exile and to unite them in the Higher Unity of the Divine infinite light, at the level of “kisses”, which is “the attachment of spirit with spirit,” as it is written, “Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His mouth,” which means the union of the word of man who studies Torah with “the word of G-d, namely, the Halacha.” So too, through thinking Torah thoughts, mortal thought is united with divine thought, and so too, mortal action is united with Divine action, through active observance of the commandments, and, in particular, the practice of charity and loving-kindness.”
Simply put, Jacob’s cry and kiss is a method that we can all employ to awake ourselves from spiritual slumber: By pondering on the radical descent of the soul into a body we can arouse a profound sense of compassion for the trapped soul. How sad it is to see a gentle soul, descend from its loftiest heights, to the nethermost depths of selfish existence. This compassion (of Jacob) empowers Rachel to stand strong with her exiled children. And ultimately Rachel’s tears prevail: Your work will be rewarded, and they will return from the land of the enemy. There is hope for your future. Your children will return to their own borders.
In psychological terms, Malchut (Rachel) is dignity. Dignity is the feeling of confidence and security that comes from knowing that you have inherent value and are indispensable, by virtue of the fact that you were created in the Divine Image. The antithesis to dignity is a sense of worthlessness, shame, insecurity, low self-esteem, sometimes to the point of self-loathing.
A nurturing mother instills in her child this feeling of Malchut. More accurately: She doesn’t instill it; a healthy mother cultivates and nourishes the dignity that is the birthright of every soul. When there is a lack of nurturing, dignity is not annihilated, it goes under cover.
In our materialistic world we often can get distracted by our temporary pleasures and forget that the single most important responsibility is the nurturing of our children’s majesty.
This is truer today more than ever. With our ever-accelerating technologies and comforts, an unprecedented standard of living, ironically and paradoxically, our level of self-esteem continues to erode. The busier we are with outer stimulation and the acquisition of wealth, the more we neglect our children. The more functional our external lives, the less functional our inner ones.
Of all the attributes, perhaps the one most severely compromised today is Malchut, dignity. We can find much wisdom, understanding, knowledge, love, discipline, compassion, ambition, (even) humility and bonding; but personal dignity is profoundly displaced in our dysfunctional world.
This is the psychological “exile of malchut” and the “shechinah.”
Enter Rachel: Rachel, the quintessential mother of Israel, resides “on the road” and always remains with us, through our wandering and confusion.
We all hope and pray for a biological mother (in addition to Rachel) that will protect and nurture us. Everyone deserves as much. But even when blessed with a healthy mother, we must always remember that all of us live in a form of “spiritual exile,” in need of our mother Rachel. And even when we are deprived of a nurturing mother, we are never deprived of Rachel, who always stands vigil, adoring us unconditionally, then and now – to this very day.
To this very day Rachel weeps for her children. As the mother of all children, she watches over us and weeps with and for us. She sheds a tear for every lonely child, for every suffering youngster or adult.
And these are not mere tears; they are the tears of a loving mother; tears that water the seeds of our parched souls, allowing them to bear fruit: Their souls will be like a watered garden; and they will sorrow no more (Jeremiah 31:11).
All of us must know, that regardless of our biological mother’s efforts on our behalf, regardless of the way out dignity is nourished or abused, Rachel always remains on watch, and does not rest. When trouble brews she intercedes on our behalf.
We can only wonder whether it was Rachel’s tears that have kept us alive for all those years, allowing us to survive despite all odds.
How do we activate Rachel’s maternal love? We ponder on our predicament, not to bring on feelings on depression or self pity, but to evoke compassion: Have some mercy – hob rachmonos – on yourself. Your beautiful soul, a lofty and delicate creature, lays trapped in your callous body and heartless world. She waits for you to acknowledge her. Embrace her, kiss her, cry for and with her – commit to activities (in thought, speech and action) that caress your soul an allow her to actualize in this world.
Your compassion – on yourself and on others – helps our mother Rachel within each of us to do her work.
Until we arrive at our destination, when “Your work will be rewarded, and they will return from the land of the enemy. There is hope for your future. Your children will return to their own borders.”
Tags: dignity, Torah, compassion, Rachel, love
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Biblical, Personal Life, Torah Personalities, Home & Family, Torah, Vayishlach, Jacob, Pain & Suffering | 1 Comment »
January 19th, 2020
Akudim, Nekudim, Verudim
An entire section of this week’s Torah portion is dedicated to… sheep. In the poetic words of my dear friend and colleague, Yanki Tauber, adapted from the Rebbe’s teachings: This week’s Torah reading, Vayeitzei (Genesis 28:10–32:3), is veritably glutted with sheep: Laban’s sheep and Jacob’s sheep; white sheep, dark sheep, spotted sheep, speckled sheep, sheep with rings around their ankles. Jacob arrives in Charan, and the first sight to greet him is that of several flocks of sheep congregated around a sealed well; the second is his future wife, Rachel (the name is Hebrew for “sheep”), shepherd her father’s sheep. Soon Jacob is a shepherd himself, caring for sheep, receiving his wages in sheep, breeding sheep with special markings, dreaming of sheep, amassing a fortune in sheep, and finally leading his flocks back to the Holy Land where he will present his brother Esau with a huge gift comprised largely of… sheep.
In the continuing essay, the Rebbe explains the significance of sheep in our relationship with G-d. But what is the meaning behind the different type of sheep that Jacob breeded: Akudim, nekudim, verudim, ringed, spotted and speckled sheep? Why did Jacob invest so much of his time in producing these sheep, and he insists that they become his reward in return for all his labor for his cunning, swindling father-in-law, Laban?
Clearly there is more than meets the eye in this sheep episode. Especially when we read the vision of Jacob – which he shares with Rachel and Leah – of ringed, spotted and speckled animals. And this vision is repeated twice (31:10; 12), and it becomes a sign that G-d “has seen all that Laban is doing to you.” What is the deeper meaning of Jacob’s vision, and why is it that these different types of sheep become the source for “tremendous wealth,” as well as the sign of G-d protecting Jacob?
All things physical are actually reflections or manifestations of their spiritual counterparts.
The Holy Arizal explains in his revolutionary teachings (Etz Chaim, beginning of Shaar (gate) Ha’Akudim) that these three patterned sheep reflect three fundamental worlds in the cosmic order.
Akudim: The rings are bound forms of energy (‘akud’ in Hebrew means bound). The world of akudim is a very early stage in the cosmic order where the ten sefirot – the building blocks of existence – are “ten energies (orot) bound in one container (keli).” The ten emanations are so intense that they cannot yet be distinguished as ten individual forces, and the ‘container’ is just beginning to emerge. Like a seed in its earliest budding stage, the container is tiny, but within it lies concentrated all the energy and details which will in time emerge.
Nekudim: The spots (or dots) are isolated points (nekudah in Hebrew means ‘point’). The world of nekudim is the next stage in the cosmic order, in which the ten sefirot exist as isolated, uncoordinated points of energy. As this stage the energy (light) has become
somewhat diminished and is not as intense as in akudim, hence, ten distinct points; the containers have now matured and are no longer just one single container, but they have developed personality. Yet, in this world – also called the world of tohu (chaos) – the energy is still too intense for the containers, and being that they are uncoordinated energies the containers are unable to contain the intensity of the energy and they shatter (shevirat ha’keilim).
Verudim: The speckles are combined colors (see Zechariah 6:3. Ohr HaTorah Beshalach p. 395) or interconnecting stripes. As Rashi explains verudim: “A white thread encircles his body all around, and its stripes are open and penetrating from one to the other.” At this third stage in the cosmic order the world of verudim – also called ‘tikkun’ and ‘atzilut’ – the energies and containers mature to the point of harmony and coordination. They are no longer ten isolated points, but are one interconnected ‘network’ of sefirot, all working together. Hence, the name ‘tikkun’ they have the power to repair the ‘shattered containers’ of nekudim. The energies in verudim are weaker per se than those in nekudim, and the containers are stronger, yet this is what allows them to fuse with each other. Instead of only two opposing forces in nekudim, the third dimension is introduced, that like a spine, supports and unites the entire structure. (This is also the essence of beauty, see last week’s article).
The Arizal explains, that these three worlds are a result of what “Laban is doing to you,” because “Laban is the secret (‘sod’) of the supernal whiteness (‘loven ha’elyon,’ loven in Hebrew means white) that preceded all these emanations, and he (this level of Laban) is the ‘doer’ of (i.e. the source that made) all these levels, akudim, nekudim, verudim necessary for Atzilut which emanates after them and is called by the name Jacob.” Jacob is the one that reveals the “supernal whiteness” into the three worlds of akudim, nekudim, verudim.
This is why Jacob invested so much of his time and energy in mastering these three stages of psycho-spiritual development. He understood very clearly that the true reason for leaving his parents in Israel (Beersheba, the fountain of seven) and coming to Charan and building a family there – to enter the inferno of Laban’s home in a city called “wrath of G-d” (Charan) – was not to just leave unscathed. The only redemption in enduring all the pain and humiliation was that he would build more than just a physical family; he would come away armed with the secret of eternity: How to master living in a difficult, corrupt material world and transform it. Not only how to survive and remain uncompromised, but how to integrate the universe with higher purpose – with G-dliness. How to fuse the containers and the energies.
This was the great wealth that Jacob amassed in Charan, and this was the promise he received from G-d that He sees “all that Laban is doing to you.” Jacob learned the secret and even more importantly, he shared it with Rachel and Leah and passed it on to all of us.
And what is the secret?
The secret is understanding – even seeing, as in Jacob’s vision – the genesis of it all. All wisdom is about getting to the root of any given phenomenon. Jacob saw how it all comes to be. To defang the perceived adversary we must learn its source of power.
Akudim, nekudim, verudim is the inside story of all that exists. When something comes to be, first it begins as an intense form of energy, not yet shaped, defined. Like a seed just fertilized, like a fetus in its first moment of conception, like the spark of an idea just spawned. Concentrated energy, including all the details to come, held in a miniscule container.
Then, the entity begins to grow, but will always go through an awkwardness, a tension that can even lead to chaos and upheaval, to the point of shattering. Too much energy, too little seasoning. Many drives, little focus. Passion without direction, intensity without grounding and coordination.
This stage is necessary, it is a form of adjustment – a so called “market correction” – necessary to realign and readjust material reality with Divine reality. When seen in its full light, the destruction of tohu is in order to build something greater. Like the razing of a building in order to build a greater one in its place. Like the deteriorating seed that allows the fruit to bloom. Or the death of the cocoon so that the butterfly can emerge. We need to shed one layer of skin in order to assume a new one.
Then we come to the third stage where we achieve balance and integration. The energies learn to coexist and complement each other. The containers and the energies become acclimated to one another. One union is forged out of the many diverse forces. Hiskalilut (coordination) as opposed to hischalkut (division).
Just as the large universe came into being through these three stages, so too is it with the small universe, the human being, a small universe in microcosm (olam koton zeh ha’adam). Each of us needs to go through all three stages and master all three of them. The objective is verudim, but for verudim to be healthy we need the first two stages as well.
So, after all is said and done, there is much that we can learn from Jacob’s tending the sheep. Jacob spent his days in the fields learning the mysteries of existence from simple sheep. We, his children, are given these mysteries as a gift – tools that help us live our lives.
There are so many ways that Jacob’s sheep can be used in dealing with life’s challenges. We can apply them to the way we love each other and our children, and the way we intervene in confrontational situations, even the way we analyze the global clashes taking place today.
When faced with a challenge, quantify it in the three akudim /nekudim/ verudim stages. Figure out which stage any given event or experience is up to. Is it at the budding, intense akudim stage, or at the scattered and fragmented nekudim stage, or ready for the networking verudim stage? This can help define the issue and the problem, which will allow you to find a solution.
How many more messages can we derive from these three stages? If you have any, please share them with me. Meanwhile, have a very good week. One that births many beautiful fruit…
Tags: Jacob, light and containers, kabbalah
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Great Mystics, Spiritual, Torah, Vayeitzei | 1 Comment »
January 10th, 2020
This new moon (Ha’chodesh Hazeh) shall be to you the head of months (This week’s Torah portion – 12:2).
Moses found difficulty with the renewal of the moon…G-d therefore showed him with His finger the moon in the sky and said to him, “You will see a moon like this and you will then sanctify [the month].” Now how did G-d show it to Moses? Did He not speak to him only by day? …Rather, this chapter was said to Moses just before sunset, and He showed him [the moon] when it became dark (Rashi, from Midrash Mechilta. Talmud Menachot 29a)
Why did Moses have a problem with the moon’s renewal?
And what did G-d show him? If there was a moon in the sky, Moses could have looked up and seen it on his own. And if there was no moon yet – which is more likely because the new moon was just being born – what exactly did G-d show him? How can a new moon be seen with the naked eye?
Various reasons for Moses’ difficulty are posited by the sages. Some explain that Moses was unclear as to the exact criteria necessary to determine when we must sanctify the new moon. Others suggest that Moses was unsure how to determine whether he was actually seeing the new moon or perhaps the final stages of the old moon. But all these explanations seem inadequate for several reasons: Moses, who was quite an educated man, could have figured out, like any astronomer, the factors that constitute a new moon. Why did he need G-d to show it to him? Clearly, Moses was disturbed by something that only G-d could resolve. Additionally, as mentioned, the new moon does not yet have any shape and form, so what exactly did Moses see?
The mystics explain that Moses was struggling with some of the fundamental dilemmas of existence as they are reflected in the birth of the new moon (see Ohr HaTorah on this chapter, vol. 8 pp. 2902). Here we will focus on the psychological and personal application of this strange episode – which illuminates one of the most profound challenges in life: How to deal with pain and loss.
But first, another practical question. Why is the mitzvah of sanctifying the new moon told to Moses as a prelude to the redemption of the Jews from Egyptian bondage? What connection is there between the moon’s renewal and the Egyptian Exodus?
The waxing and waning moon reflects the ups and downs of life and history. The waning moon represents difficult times; periods that get darker and darker, like the fading moon. But just as the moon disappears, when all seems bleak and lost, we experience rebirth, newfound life – a new moon has been born.
The long Egyptian exile was the first documented instance of institutionalized oppression perpetrated by one nation against another. Multitudes of Jews were killed, tortured or worked to death in forced labor. The moon was dark indeed.
By commanding Moses to sanctify the new moon G-d was in effect imparting to Moses the power of renewal: Just as the moon is reborn right after its disappears, so too will the Jewish people experience a renaissance following their darkest moments.
Moses, however, was disturbed. He was happy to hear that the time of redemption – the birth of the new moon – had arrived. But he was bothered by the fact that when things get so dark, to the point that the moon emits no light at all, how can mortal man hold on? How do we gather strength when we don’t see any glimmer of hope? If we don’t have the energy to see it through, we can be consumed and destroyed by the darkness, and then never reach the new light…
Philosophically, Moses understood that a mortal human being will never fully fathom the mystery of pain and suffering. He also understood and believed that the “end story” was that we will endure and prevail over all our adversaries. Indeed, the Egyptian oppression forged a nation with enormous power, an eternal nation. The more they were oppressed, the more they proliferated and grew.
But Moses was disturbed because he knew that this was not enough. Moses in effect was saying: “If you want man to grow through the dark challenges, You, G-d, must give us the power of hope – the strength to see it through and forge ahead despite the inability to see the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’.”
G-d agreed. In response, G-d “pointed His finger” and showed Moses something that is otherwise impossible to see: The birthing itself. The point when the darkness turns into light, the exact moment when the seeds of suffering yield the fruits of greatness
When we cry over a disappointment or loss we feel pain and sorrow. We (and others) may understand that “those that sow in tears will reap in joy” (Psalms 126:5). But while we weep and taste our bitter tears, we cannot at the same time see the joy that will come. The seed by its very nature conceals its future fruit.
G-d therefore divulged to Moses the mystery of transformation, how darkness turns into light. And He revealed it as the sun was setting. Usually G-d spoke to Moses during the day. But in this instance G-d wanted to show Moses that even darkness yields light. He therefore spoke to him just before sunset, and He showed him the moon as darkness was falling.
This vision of Moses has a perpetual effect for all generations to come – to give us the power to make it through any challenge, no matter how difficult.
All birth in this world comes only after a moment of darkness. Growth is always preceded by a void. Creativity is a child of frustration. But when things seem bleak we get demoralized, and that in turn makes things far worse. If only we were able to see the birthing to come we would be able to endure the hardest times. The problem is that we cannot see from beneath the rubble the light ahead.
So once in history a man was shown the moment of rebirth. Once in history the invisible became visible.
That one vision has given us strength throughout history, as our lives have waxed and waned like the moon, to see it through. Even as we have stood at the abyss, at the brink of extinction, something deep inside us reminded us that all is not lost.
Where does such conviction come from? How does a mother have strength to fight for her child even when all doctors have given up hope? What power did the Jews have when they were herded into the gas chambers to sing “Ani Maamin” (“I believe”)? How is it possible that against all odds, in situations that were absolutely hopeless, a nation has not just survived but thrived?
This enormous, superhuman, power is rooted in Moses’ vision one lonely night in Egypt. As he looked up into the skies Moses saw nothing. The moon had completely disappeared. But then G-d pointed his finger and directed Moses to look closer: Hachodesh hazeh – here, look at the secret of rebirth, here I show you the moment that no man has ever seen and no man will ever see – the moment of transition, when one state is about to end only to open up a new state. Here is the invisible intersection where dark meets light, pain meets joy and exile meets redemption.
Birth means something new. We therefore can never actually see the exact moment when the old becomes new. But Moses did see – once for all times. G-d showed Moses the new moon at its moment of rebirth, and said to him: “When the moon is reborn, mark the beginning of a new month.”
As we now read the story of Exodus, the “book in which Israel goes from darkness to light” – the story of process, the process of loss and renewal, of suffering and growth, the process of death and birth – we can gather in our own lives much fortitude from the events that took place over 3300 years ago.
When the next new moon arrives, go outside and look up into the sky. If we look hard enough perhaps we may get a glimpse of what Moses saw. But even if we can’t, our very gaze into the dark heavens, looking, searching, yearning, for the sliver of the new moon’s birthing, carries immense power – strength that can help us though any challenge.
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Question for the Week: What does the moon mean for you?
Tags: Moses, suffering, birth, new moon, Light and Dark, Calendar
Posted in Biblical, Weekly Parsha, Shmot, Bo, Personal Life, Torah Personalities, Nature, Spiritual, Pain & Suffering, Moses | 20 Comments »
January 10th, 2020
Two Secrets to a Balanced Life
Is there a person on Earth that does not, at times, experience tension? Yet, we are always in search for calm and peace.
Excellence in everything we do, whether it is personal, social, political, scientific, romantic or professional, is always defined by finding the right balance and harmony, the right symmetry between diverse forces.
Yet, try as we might, tranquility defies us. Who does not struggle, for instance, from the conflict between home life and career? Between your personal standards and the demands of the marketplace? Between the need to survive and the yearning for transcendence? Who has not in some ways compromised their idealism due to the peer and social pressure? In one way or another, we all suffer from various conflicts in our lives. Often these struggles lead to anxiety and other forms of emotional debilitation.
What would we do to eliminate anxiety in our lives, let alone discover the secret to finding balance in all our endeavors?
All tension results from the friction of dual forces rubbing against each other. If there were only one force in our lives there would be no possibility for anxiety. Imbalance by definition means two things that are in a state of disparity with each other. Agitation is a result of being in one place when you aspire to be in another.
Seemingly only two solutions are possible to resolve the tension of life: Either you cease aspiring, hence no more anxiety. Or you resign yourself to the fact that you will also be anxious about things that you cannot acquire.
There is however a third solution. And this lies in understanding that the conflicts in our lives are rooted in forces that are inherently in harmony with each other, yet at some point and for some reason their fusion was ruptured, and they turned against each other.
The secret of balance is, then, about discovering the rhythm that lies within the different forces in our lives. Like a dance, life is about cadence – learning how to navigate the vicissitudes, the rise and fall of the waves.
The ancient mystics teach it to us this way.
All of existence vibrates with pulsating energy. When we learn to recognize it, this energy manifests itself all around us – in light and sound, in your heartbeat and your breath, in your dreams and in your realism, in your tension and your resolve.
The secret of this balance is called “ROTZO AND SHUV”: Tension and resolution, yearning and returning, speaking and listening, exhaling and inhaling, contraction and expansion, action and reaction.
In order to create balance between two states of being – the present state and the one you aspire to – rotzo and shuv serve as a dual, to an fro movement: First you reach and yearn to something greater, then you return and internalize it.
All energy is generated through this dual movement: Like a pumping heart, the contraction is then followed by an expansion that propels the blood to flow through the body. Like an archer drawing back his bow in order to thrust the arrow forward.
The tension in our lives is, then, really a necessary step that propels us to reach a greater place. Our challenge in this process is twofold: 1) To ensure that the tension is healthy, one that is part of a growing process rather than obsessive and demoralizing. 2) To ensure that the tension is measured, tempered and followed by resolution. Once we internalize, we then experience a new rotzo, a yearning to reach yet a higher level, with the inevitable amount of tension this yearning will cause, and then to internalize this new level as well.
And so we climb from one state to a higher one. Rotzo and shuv are the two steps – the dual movement – that allows us to aspire and integrate.
Manifestations of this dual movement abound everywhere. Light, for instance, is an energy that consists of both wave and particle. Modern physics is just beginning to discover that which mystics were always aware of: All of existence consists of a pulsating dance of energy.
Please refer to the articles I wrote last year, The Physics of Chanukah and Chanukah Lite, which explore the dual nature of sound and light, the parallels between physics, psychology and mysticism – all applied in our personal relationships.
The first step in achieving balance is by beginning to recognize and identify the dual forces of particle and wave, rotzo and shuv, in everything around and within us.
The second step is to begin aligning ourselves to the inner rhythm of life.
At birth our bodies and souls are aligned. Like a hand in a glove, a newborn child, like untouched snow, reflects a seamless flow between matter and spirit (body and soul). Witness the symmetric breath of a young child, the perfect heaves of his/her chest as s/he inhales and exhales. But as we grow older and toxins fill our lives (and our lungs), the balance begins to waver, until they reach a state of utter dissonance.
This conflict manifests itself in the perpetual struggle of our lives between spirit and matter – between self-preservation and transcendence, selfishness and selflessness, between the animal soul and the Divine soul.
Indeed, the Kabbalah teaches us that the cosmic order of creation and existence parallels that of a child’s development, in which the first stages maintain a “smooth” balance between “light” and “container,” between energy and matter, wave and particle, rotzo and shuv. As the process evolves, the two forces begin to experience tension and dissonance, until they “explode” in what is known as “shevirat hakeilim” (breaking of the containers). The work that follows is called “tikkun” – the essential mission of our lives: to repair the rift between matter and spirit, and realign them into the seamless whole that they truly are.
This is also the central theme of the story of the twin brothers, Jacob and Esau, in this week’s Torah portion. The twins represent the two forces of matter (body) and energy (spirit), particle and wave, rotzo and shuv. The battle between them reflects the existing tension between these two poles. But inherently they are twins – in need of and complementing each other. And ultimately, they will reconcile and achieve complete integration (see The Plot Thickens).
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As an exercise, create two columns on a piece of paper. In the first column list examples of “rotzo” in you life – experiences that cause you anxiety and tension. In the second, list experiences that bring you peace. What aspects of your life are “particle-like” in nature, limited to a specific time and space, and which ones are “wave-like” and all encompassing.
Next, identify an area (or areas) in your life where these two forces act in harmony with each other. Not as two entities, but as one continuous flow, like the throb of the heart, the rhythm of the breath, where the heart’s contraction and expansion and the lung’s exhale and inhale are but two steps of one movement, two notes in one musical composition.
It’s always easier to begin with examples of this rhythm in our professional lives – in music or the arts, in business or science, or in any other of our systems that be. The reason for this is because we are more detached and objective about these areas in our lives then the more personal and psychological ones, where we will encounter emotional resistance to getting beyond our anxieties and fears.
Once we begin to recognize patterns of the pulsating dance within life around us, we can then recognize by contrast the areas in our lives where the imbalance still prevails. This helps us apply the same principle of rhythm and symmetry to the more tenuous areas in which we encounter emotional resistance.
For next week’s workshop, try the following: Choose an area or system in which you have expertise and identify how its success is dependent on the dual movement of rotzo and shuv. Define how this dual “wave” movement creates balance. Identify its parallels with the dual movement in other systems. It may help to review the articles I mentioned earlier, The Physics of Chanukah and Chanukah Lite for a breakdown on some of the parallels.
Tags: Chassidus, harmony, balance, emotional dissonance, tension, resistance, psychology
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Soul & Mystical, Months & Holidays, Chanukah, Kislev, Spiritual, Toldot, Torah | No Comments »
November 7th, 2019
As the old expression goes, practice makes perfect. Changing our longtime attitudes and behaviors can be quite a challenge, but with repetition and consistency – it is possible to make a true change. And by changing our attitude and behavior, we change ourselves.
Say these three life-changing declarations every morning and be confident that slowly, but surely, you too can change.
1. “I Have the Strength to Take On Any Challenge!”
As humans, we naturally do not like being uncomfortable. Many of us will avoid discomfort at any cost. But by avoiding uncomfortable situations, we are doing a great disservice to ourselves. When we forfeit our comfort and break free from our comfort zones, we are then ready to tackle any challenge in front of us. It is by taking on challenges that we grow as people in unparalleled ways.
It is often the most inspirational and successful role-models who have gone through the most trying and challenging of situations. Why is this? It is because those individuals who are ready to take on any challenge, and have confidence that they will find the strength needed are the ones who become what seem like super-human. But here is the secret: we all have a super-human strength that is part of us. Hidden inside of every individual is a super-man or super-woman waiting to be released. It takes only our will and unwavering adamancy to come out from beneath the surface.
Say to yourself every morning: “I have the strength to take on any challenge!” Say it throughout your day when uncomfortable situations that you really want to avoid arise. You are guaranteed to become a truly different and stronger person.
2. “I Have the Power to Tackle Any Negative Temptation!”
The word temptation itself sounds scary, so let’s put it into perspective. Temptations can be our old habits, flaming desires, quick thrills and speedy passions that distract us from moving in a productive direction. Whether it is pressing the snooze button on the alarm clock, or fighting the urge to be dishonest, even the most seemingly minute temptations seem to take over our minds and hearts.
The mystics teach us this: a moment of temptation is a moment of insanity. It is a moment in which logic and reason has abandoned you, and the only thing controlling your actions seems to be the temptation itself. What are you to do? Are you truly powerless?
Of course not! Tap into your super-human and physically take your hands and make a thrust in the air to PUSH AWAY! The mystics also teach us that every negative temptation that lies before us comes with the power to overcome it. Just as the temptation is real – your power to overcome it is real, and this is where you have all the power in your hands to choose.
Say to yourself every morning and anytime a temptation tries to cripple you: “I Have the Power to Tackle Any Negative Temptation!” Do not give up if you fail – keep trying and you will surely defeat your negative temptations.
3. “I am Going to Take a Deep Breath and Rein In My Emotions.”
Your children’s schools are shut down. You now have to rearrange your morning meetings and your stress level is going up. One of your children reaches across the breakfast table and spills a full container of milk. Everywhere. Your stress level has skyrocketed; there is anger in your veins and tears in your eyes.
Pause. Are you actually crying over spilled milk?
Little annoyances that build up during the day are often out of our control. What is in our control is how we react to them. When we are already frustrated it is easy to see how a person could actually cry over spilled milk. But do you want to be that person?
Emotions are part of us and like to creep up at the most inconvenient of times. But we have the power to rein them in. We can listen to them – but they should always be taken with a grain of salt, as the expression goes. Next time you find yourself about to explode or even cry over spilled milk, say this to yourself: “I am going to take a deep breath and rein in my emotions.” Tap into your self-awareness. Where are you at right now? Now pull yourself into a higher state of awareness, a place where you look at your current situation and emotions from the outside. If this were someone else, what advice would you give to them? How do you think someone else should react? How would like to see yourself react? Now do it. Take a deep breath and always remember what is important in your life.
Adapted by Seymour Dorfman based on the teachings of Rabbi Simon Jacobson.
Exercise: Note an event in your day that you reacted to differently after having made one of the daily declarations. How was it different than your typical reaction/routine?
Posted in Sy Dorfman, Soul Gym, Voices, Personal Life, Daily Life | 3 Comments »
