January 17th, 2018
The Communication Revolution
Why is it that in our age of state-of-the-art communications – smartphones and social media, e-mails and texting – we have hardly made any progress in personal communications? On an intrapersonal or interpersonal level, in families and communities, from cultures to nations, strife and discord dominate our lives and our world. With all our connections, we have never been so disconnected.
An underlying theme in the Exodus narrative – related in these weekly Torah portions – is the power of speech. Moses, the “man of no words,” is chosen by G-d to be His communicator to Pharaoh, and then later the conveyor of Torah to the Jewish people. “And G-d spoke to Moses, speak to the people…” is a phrase used hundreds of times throughout the Torah. Indeed, an entire book of Torah (the fifth book) is called “Words” – “These are the words that Moses spoke” – the words of the “man of no words”…
Pharaoh in Hebrew consists of the two words “peh rah,” evil mouth. By contrast, Passover, Pesach, is comprised of the two words “peh soch,” speaking mouth. Indeed, the Pesach Haggadah recreates the Exodus in the form of a relating a story. “Haggadah” means just that: Telling the story, from the verse “v’higadito l’vincho,” and you shall relate to your children. The Passover Seder is meant to serve as the ideal model of dialogue and communication.
We thus bring you a relevant correspondence with Rabbi Jacobson about the nature of communication that opportunely took place this week.
Dear Rabbi Jacobson,
In your exceptional article (Your Life: The Ultimate Journey) I was taken by your use of a powerful analogy (of the roadmap and tools one acquires to survive on the dark lonely island), which intrigued me and pulled me further in, until I realized – too late for me to escape – that you were talking about God, Torah and mitzvoth.
I was wondering about your style, which one encounters in many of your classes and writings. I am a marketing and communications consultant and am fascinated by the way you convey ideas, that on their own could appear alien to some of us, and yet you turn them into profound insights into the human condition and highly attractive and relevant sources of inspiration.
Michael
Dear Michael,
Let me share with you an experience. When I first began teaching my weekly class, the core group attending consisted of people from the arts and entertainment industry. They were spiritual seekers, yet many of them did not identify with any religious affiliation. In fact, quite a few – reflecting a proportionate cross-section of society – were actually turned off by established institutions of faith.
Recognizing this fact I felt a keen disadvantage trying to communicate to this group. I remember thinking: Here I am sitting with a bear and yarmulke – hardly projecting a neutral image. Before even before uttering a word some of the audience will inevitably be stereotyping me. Not with any malicious intentions, but simply based on their experience. I may be reminding some of an overbearing pious grandfather that may have shlepped him to synagogue against his own will. Or an irrelevant Hebrew school teacher that taught him hollow Bar-Mitzvah lessons. Or an angry and abusive religious authority, lashing out with guilt-ridden fire and brimstone. Or a religious fanatic, judgmental and condescending, mindlessly trying to impose dogma upon him and his friends.
Given, I may also be evoking some fond memories of the “old home.” But I was intensely aware of not being in control of how they would react to my image.
So, I tried an experiment. Instead of using any conventional words associated with religion or faith, in place of overtly Jewish and Hebrew words, I created a “new” vocabulary. Instead of the word G-d in my discussion, I used the expression “Higher Reality,” “the Essence.” For more new-age audiences – I added “non-existential states of undefined layers of energy.” I substituted “roadmap” (or “blueprint”) for the word Torah, “connections” for Mitzvot and “destination” for the Final Redemption.
An interesting discussion ensued, with the heated participation of the entire group, about a journey toward the Essence of all existence, following a blueprint and connections, all reaching a destination. We all, everyone at the class, felt the common human denominator of how we all struggle in the material world to discover transcendence in our search to connect to something higher.
After a few weeks of these classes, all masked in the language of kindred spirits, someone approached me and asked: “Are you talking about G-d”? I replied: “Yes. But shhh; don’t spoil it for the others.”
The experiment worked beyond my expectations. By stripping the conversation of “loaded” words, words that carry different meanings for different people, religious references that are fraught with stereotypes and misconceptions, we were able to create a meaningful dialogue. By using non-threatening, neutral, expressions, ones that evoke our commonality instead of our differences, we – people of such different and even dichotomous backgrounds – were able to communicate and bond with one another. We were – and until this very day – all enriched in the process.
Take the word “G-d.” Just my spelling is different than most people’s who use an “o” instead of a hyphen. Are there two people on this planet that can agree as to the definition of the word “G-d”? Try this test: Ask people you know to define G-d. Beyond the prerequisite, text-book, response – the Creator, the First Cause, a Supreme Being – no two people will define G-d the same way. For many, the concept of G-d is defined by nursery school images of a “man with a white long beard in heaven who strikes us with lightning when we misbehave.” This three-letter word is fraught with perhaps more stereotypes than any other word in the dictionary. Everyone has an opinion about G-d. Some are radical believers who die and kill others in the name of their so-called God. Others are agnostics or atheists, some radical who kill in the name of no God. No one is neutral about G-d. Because G-d has far-reaching implications, invoking personal responsibility, addressing the issues of good and evil, morality, government and education. Virtually every aspect of life is affected by our acceptance or rejection of G-d, and our definition of the word.
No wonder Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev said to his self-proclaimed atheist neighbor: “The G-d you don’t believe, I too don’t believe in.”
We conventionally like to think of words as bridges, connecting different, and even conflicting, people. Misunderstandings, often deep ones, can creep in when we remain silent and do not speak with one another. Words, then, are the way to bridge different interests.
In truth, however, words can also be forces that divide us. Use the wrong word and you can close down the person you are attempting to open up. Certain words may seem innocuous enough to us. But those same words can cause another to go ballistic.
You see, words are loaded. In childhood we may have heard a certain expressions used in derogatory fashion. Your mother may have exclaimed a particular phrase – or snickered an insulting nickname of yours – every time she was displeased with you. Those phrases then become etched in your psyche, and whenever they are used you recoil.
Words, which inherently begin as neutral and objective, take on subjective shape as they become associated with particular experiences – some pleasant and some unpleasant.
The secret of communication, thus, is about sensitivity: not only to know what words to use, but also – and perhaps even more importantly – to know what words not to use. An excellent teacher will convey ideas that resonate and engender trust. And trust is not only saying the right things, but also avoiding saying the wrong things.
Real communication is a relationship: A relationship between two people – not one dominant over the other, but a true partnership, with each one sensitive to the other, and exerting effort to ensure that the words used between them are not limited to the terms of the speaker but are measured on the terms of the listener. In effect, one can say that true speaking is listening: Applying yourself, paying attention and absorbing the needs of the one you want to reach, and then speaking in kind.
In effect, one can say that true speaking is listening: Applying yourself, paying attention and absorbing the needs of the one you want to reach, and then speaking in kind.
Moses, the communicator of G-d’s word in the Torah, was the ultimate communicator. As a man of G-d his utter humility allowed him to speak Divine words that resonated in all those that heard him speak. Moses, man of no words, had a relationship with G-d, in which they both listened and spoke to each other. This communication/relationship would take place primarily in “ohel moed,” which means the “meeting tent,” where G-d would and Moses would commune.
The Torah is all about developing a relationship between man and the Divine. “Built Me a Temple and I will rest among you.” All the references to speaking in the Torah are teaching us the method how to communicate – how to listen and how to speak.
Unfortunately, over the passing generations the Divine truths were “lost in translation.” Men imposed there own meanings, with their own words, on the inner truths of reality.
Our challenge today is to revisit the original words in their pristine meaning, before they were hijacked. We must learn to free our language from the man-made word-filled traps that lock away true ideas. This effort requires a Moses-like humility and sensitivity, to be focused not on what YOU, the communicator, want to say and on your choice of words. The focus must be on the listener, and gently finding the right resonating words (while avoiding the stereotype-evoking ones) that will convey the essence of truth.
Be careful with your language. Words can be flowers, but they also can be swords.
Let us declare war against stereotyping; something we all do. Stereotyping is as natural as it is shallow. At every turn in our lives we are faced with the option: To stereotype or not to stereotype. Instead of lazily fitting someone into a pre-defined, and inaccurate, mold, let us look at another as we want them to look at us: As a unique individual, not a clone nor a caricature of our imagination or an image etched on history’s canvas.
All the gadgets in the world cannot teach you sensitivity and, its direct product: true communication and a true relationship.
When we learn this secret we will have ushered in the true communication revolution.
Tags: communication, humility, Stereotype, relationships, Moses, speech
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Biblical, Shmot, Bo, Torah Personalities, Personal Life, Torah, Emotions & Psychology, Moses | 7 Comments »
January 10th, 2018
There is a well known myth that Inuit have one hundred names for the word snow (in fact they have as many names for snow as we do in English). This urban legend is based on the belief that the language of different peoples reflects their unique experiences and cultures. Since Inuit live in a predominantly snowy climate they developed many different words that express different aspects and variations of snow.
What is not a myth however is that the Torah has many names for G-d – seven, ten, even seventy. When we don’t have much interaction with a particular experience, we will not be sensitive or even care about its nuances. Thus, a casual or superficial take on G-d will not yield many names. But people we love and care for will elicit in us many names (and nicknames) as we relate to them in different modes and situations. An intimate relationship with G-d dictates many dimensions of the experience, hence the many names the Torah employs in describing the different manifestations of the Divine experience.
(Indeed, the Zohar explains that the Divine Essence has no name, and cannot be alluded to in any which way. But Divine revelation manifests in multitude of forms.)
The same is true with the word freedom. Cursorily, without giving it much thought, freedom means to be free. But if we want to experience freedom in its true form, if we want to be free in the fullest sense of the word, we will realize that freedom has different names, expressing different manifestations of the experience.
Freedom. The word captures the essential progress of the modern Western world – the free world. But what does freedom actually mean? And are we actually free? Even when we have no enemies without, aren’t we enslaved to our needs and desires, our own fears and inhibitions – our internal, psychological enemies? And what about all the forces and demands imposed upon us by work, material responsibilities, obnoxious bosses and all those that we are dependent upon, the constant inundation of marketers intruding into out psyches – forces of oppression that can debilitate us no less than a opponent wielding a weapon?
Is it possible to achieve true freedom?
To truly experience freedom we must associate with it not in superficial terms. When we move closer to internalize and experience freedom in an intimate way, we come to recognize that freedom actually has more than one name, more than one manifestation.
This week’s Torah portion – the Torah makes the Divine intimate – tells us that there are actually four different expressions for the word freedom.
When G-d tells Moses that He will redeem the Jewish people from their Egyptian bondage, G-d uses four different terms for the word redemption (which correspond to the four cups of wine we drink at the Passover Seder):
“I will take you out from the suffering of Egypt; I will deliver you from their bondage; I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments. I will take you to Myself as a nation, and I will be to you a G-d…” (Exodus 6:6-7).
Practically speaking, these four expressions of freedom reflect four stages of Exodus:
1. First, the end of the long 210 year oppressive bondage – “I will take you out from the suffering of Egypt.”
2. The end of all hard labor, which stopped six months before the Jews actually left Egypt – “I will deliver you from their bondage.”
3. The actual exodus, physically leaving Egypt and the elimination of the Egyptian enemy – “I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments.”
4. The Jewish people become a free nation, driven by a higher mission, servant only to G-d – “I will take you to Myself as a nation, and I will be to you a G-d.”
All events in the Torah, especially the central one of the Egyptian exodus, offer us a psycho-spiritual blueprint to guide us in the challenges of our own lives.
The redemption from Egypt represents transcendence. Mitzrayim (the Hebrew word for Egypt) means boundaries and constraints, referring to every limitation and inhibition that confines us – physical, emotional or spiritual. The redemption from Mitzrayim gives us each the power to achieve personal and collective freedom from all our constraints, whether it is an unhealthy relationship, a state of emotional despair, or anything that is blocking us from achieving our goals.
But to do so requires a close-up look at the different phases of redemption, so that we can acclimate ourselves to the process and align our efforts accordingly.
Four steps are necessary to be free from any given “trap” in our lives, all with the help from above:
1. “I will take you out from the suffering of Egypt.” First you must get out of the immediate line of fire. As long as you remain in an abusive situation, in range of a force that is hurting you, you cannot begin the journey toward freedom.
This first step away from the immediate cause of your suffering is only a first step, but it is critical: If you don’t “stop the bleeding,” healing cannot begin.
This step is often the hardest of them all, because after protracted years of pain you can become resigned and even accustomed to the oppression, to the point that it becomes so much part of your life and your being that it is hard to recognize the “enemy,” or even acknowledge that there is an “enemy” (what we call today: denial, but what was called back then: de (River) Nile), and distinguish friend from foe.
2. “I will deliver you from their bondage.” After you are taken out of the actual destructive situation, you must be delivered from the hold of the oppressive force. Even after their hard labor ended the Jewish people still remained in Egypt, under the effect of extensive exposure to their depraved culture and centuries of genocide. Thus the need to be delivered and break free from the psychological hold of being a “slave” for so long.
3. “I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments.” Finally you get out of “prison,” but the enemy (or a similar one) is still lurking. At this stage you need an “outstretched arm” to embrace you and hold you tight and secure, reassuring you that you will be safe. And “great judgments” that eliminate the enemy, and ensure it does not return. Even after the Exodus, though Egypt remained a superpower and indeed, they pursued the Jews. Until they were utterly defeated at the Red Sea.
4. “I will take you to Myself as a nation, and I will be to you a G-d.” The first three phases were all about freeing yourself from the enemy. But you still are not free until you discover who you are. Freedom is not merely the absence of slavery – getting away from the past and escaping the negative. True freedom is a state of being on its own – the ability to be true to yourself, your true self, and live up to your inner calling and spiritual destiny.
Even after the enemy is vanquished you want a life that is not defined by the negative, even by being opposed to the enemy (like anti-anti-Semitism). You want to build your life in a way that stands for something great (not against something), and a life that will never again allow you to be enslaved, exploited, or constricted in the first place.
All life’s problems begin by allowing ourselves to be subjected and enslaved to man-made conventions. When you worship money, power, connections and social status – you have brought upon yourself an imposing “master” that will subjugate your freedom and ultimately annihilate your inner dignity.
Ultimate freedom is to not be bound to human devices; to discover your Divine calling and serve it with all you faculties and resources.
Only then can you call yourself a free man or woman.
* * *
As usual in Torah thought, after hearing about four stages, there is always a footnote to add:
Some commentators explain that at the Seder Table we pour a fifth cup for Elijah the Prophet, corresponding to the fifth expression in this week’s Portion: “I shall bring you to the land.”
After we finish our hard work in allowing ourselves to be freed from our own personal “mitzrayim” – constraints, corresponding to the four levels of the soul (biological nefesh, emotional ruach, cerebral neshomo and transcendental chaya), the fifth dimension (unified yechida) emerges – the Essential level of the Divine “brings you to the land,” with the coming of the Messiah in the final redemption, announced by Elijah the Prophet.
This fifth level is not accessible directly through our efforts. It only surfaces after we travel through the first four phases.
* * *
Question for the Week: How would you define freedom?
Tags: freedom, exile, Exodus from Egypt, Moshiach, change
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Months & Holidays, Passover, Shmot, Va'eira, Beliefs & Concepts, Exile, Moshiach & Redemption, Torah, Nisan | 9 Comments »
January 10th, 2018
Love — like faith, responsibility, and inspiration — is an enigma that’s necessary for living a happy, meaningful life. It is the single most necessary component of human life, and the foundation of healthy human interaction. Everyone needs it for well-being, but it remains elusive to many. If you’ve experienced heartbreak after heartbreak and you feel like you are a failure at love, now is the time to discover what love is and what love is not, since it bears little resemblance to the love we see in film and television, or hear about in songs. There is no guaranteed way to find love, but approaching your relationships with a realistic, holistic understanding of healthy love will certainly improve your odds of success. The following is a breakdown of the spiritual DNA of love.
What Love Is
- Love is soulful; it is a spiritual (not a physical) experience.
- Love = transcendence: the dominance of spirit over matter, the sublime over the corporeal.
- Love is the language of the soul.
- Love is a way of experiencing a Higher Power.
- True love is unconditional and selfless — it allows you to rise above your selfish desires.
- Love goes beyond treating others with compassion or warmth.
- Love is how you experience the essence of another person, and how you let that person experience the real you.
- It is more than not doing unto others what you would do unto yourself; and it is the root of civility and morality.
- It is the purest way to feed another’s soul, as well as your own.
- Love is one soul greeting another — the fusion of two souls.
- Love is about giving, not taking.
What Love Is Not
- Love is not a material need.
- Love is not just the fulfillment of one’s need to be cared for.
- It’s also not just the fulfillment of one’s desire for intimacy.
- Love is not one of our bodily needs, like food and water.
- It’s also not just something we need to feel good about ourselves.
- Love is not about control, but about yielding and humility.
- Love is not conditional — it doesn’t end when one’s needs cease to be met.
- It is not the obliteration or subjection of one individual; there is no dominant person consuming another in true love.
- Love is not something you can compartmentalize or dole out in small pieces.
- It’s not something that can be separated from the soul, from the essence of a person.
- True, unconditional love is not temporary.
Exercise: Examine your attitude toward love. Do you love only on your own terms? Do something to express selfless love, meaning take a small risk and be a bit vulnerable. Write about it in your free MyMLC Journal.
Go deeper into this subject: Toward a Meaningful Life | Love is Not Judgment | All Essays on Love & Marriage | Do You Know How to Love and How to Channel? | Your Guide to Personal Freedom
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
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7 Steps to C.O.M.F.O.R.T. Part 4: Reassure and Transform
September 10, 2025 @8:30pm
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Tags: relationships, healthy relationships, love
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Love & Marriage | No Comments »
January 3rd, 2018
Have you ever awakened, looked at your alarm clock, and said to yourself, “I don’t want to get out of bed today. I want to sleep in.” Or even thinking, “I do not want to be an adult today. I want to be a child with no responsibilities”? We all go through sluggish times — accepting responsibility can seem draining, and the reality is that sometimes the tasks we have to be doing are indeed exhausting. But, there is another way to look at responsibility such that it becomes a means of nurturing yourself rather than depleting your emotional and physical energy reserves: Responsibility is a basic human need, just like food or oxygen; we cannot fulfill or justify our existence without it. It is one of the greatest gifts we’ve been endowed with — the gift of being active participants in the unfolding of our destinies. And responsibility is not just about helping others — it can save your life, as well.
What Happens When You Don’t Accept Responsibility
- You might experience a state of aimlessness.
- You might also be anxious.
- Your conscience could pester you.
- You and other people might suffer.
- You’ll miss opportunities.
- Feelings of dependency and indignity could plague you.
- You won’t make your full impact on the world.
The Magic That Happens When You Do
- You’ll feel like an active participant in life, rather than a victim of circumstances.
- You’ll feel connected to the world around you.
- You’ll enjoy dignity and independence.
- The joy of using your distinct talents and abilities will be yours.
- Feelings of frustration and helplessness will give way to satisfaction.
- You’ll go from being reactive to being proactive.
- The positive effects of your actions will reach far beyond your scope of vision.
Exercise: Look at your attitude toward responsibility. Then, look for an opportunity to help, to inspire, or to lend support. Act on it. Write about it in your MyMLC Journal.
Go deeper into this subject: Toward a Meaningful Life | What If You Were Adam or Eve? Taking Responsibility for the World | Our Responsibility Is to Shine | In the Beginning | Critique | Common Wealth |
Tags: responsibility, inspiration, motivation, potential, purpose in life
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 2 Comments »
December 27th, 2017
Do You See the Big Picture?
What distinguishes the very wise from the wise? Their ability to never get distracted by the moment and always look at the big picture.
The view from the ground level allows you to perceive only that which is within your reach and range — the immediate here and now, and the space in your proximity and scope. What your eye can see, your ear can hear, your nose can smell, your mouth can taste and your hand can touch.
But the birds’ eye view from above can see this present moment in context of the past and the future. This broader perspective perceives current events like a dot in a larger image — a point in a long procession whose choreography can only be appreciated in retrospect or from standing above the fray.
In one word this is called: transcendence.
Transcendence doesn’t mean an escape to the heights, ignoring and compromising the events on the ground. Quite the contrary: The trascendent view of the big picture informs — and completely transforms — the small picture into a piece of a larger unfolding drama.
The Jewish people have mastered this art by turning to the Torah for an aerial — heavenly and spiritual — view of events on earth. A view that allows us to reenter the atmosphere with far greater tools and perspective.
Here is a small taste of that panorama.
Another year ends as another book ends. As this year comes to a close, we conclude the book of Genesis.
To read today’s news buy yourself a newspaper. To read the news of history – the eternal story of the human struggle – read Genesis.
Many events dominated the headlines this year. But then there is the bigger story — the story of your life.
Yes, two parallel narratives play themselves out in our lives at all times: The story of our outer lives and the story of our inner lives. Many of us are quite aware about the events happening around us. But what about the story of what is happening within us?
The biggest story of all is your story – the story of your life. It is the story of our mission – our raison d’etre.
And this story is told in the Torah chapters, particularly those read this time of the year.
The sages explain that the book of Genesis is as its name implies: A seed that contains all the fruit that will one day grow from it. The story of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob with all its details is like a blueprint that encapsulates in microcosm all the events that would take place in history, both personally and globally.
As discussed in our Mission Statement series – the Torah chapters from the beginning of Genesis outline the story of our life’s mission:
The mission begins (Bereishit). The mission is revitalized, with the cleansing of the world following mans’ great fall (Noach). The mission is embraced and begins to be realized by Abraham, with the first step being the need to transcend our own subjectivity (Lech Lecho). To embrace the mission we need self-sacrifice (Vayeira).
In the next chapter (Chayei Sarah) stage one of the mission concludes with the passing of Sarah and then Abraham – the first pioneers who discovered the mission of the human race. This is then followed by stage two, the life of Isaac and Rebecca (Toldot). Followed by stage three – the story of Jacob and his journey and his battles with Laban and Esau (Vayeitzei, and Vayishlach). The selling of Joseph by his brothers captures the struggle of faith and reason (Vayeishev, Miketz, Vayigash).
And now we come to the conclusion of the book of Genesis (Vayechi), which relates in detail the end of Jacob’s life on earth, as well as of his children, the twelve tribes.
The mystics teach us that the characters in Torah are archetypes of different traits that we all carry within ourselves. Abraham embodies Chesed, loving-kindness. His life is one of enduring generosity. Isaac personifies Gevurah, awe and discipline. Jacob incarnates Tiferet, beauty and compassion.
Chesed, Gevurah and Tiferet are the three central forces and building blocks of all existence. Every aspect of life is comprised of a right, left and center. The entire body is structured in three columns: The right side (right arm and leg), the left side (left arm and leg) and the center – the spine, which creates balance.
First we learn of Abraham’s journey – which reflects the journey of the Abraham within each of us. Next, comes the discretion of Gevurah. Once love and discipline are in place, we can then complete the structure, with Jacob’s Tiferet – the critical balancing spine that carries the entire infrastructure.
As the book of Genesis ends we have in sum the essential building blocks and tools to discover our mission in life and face all our life challenges.
You can say that Genesis is the formative stage of life, when we are educated, trained and equipped with the tools we will need to face the real world.
Once we are armed with this powerful arsenal, we then enter the next stage in the book of Exodus. We enter a harsh world that initially enslaves us by the inherent constraints (Mitzrayim) of material existence. We have to struggle to find our way and to maintain our equilibrium.
But we don’t come defenseless. We are given all the resources we need to “make it.” And not merely to survive or manage, but to thrive – to flourish and blossom, and achieve greatness.
Yes, greatness.
To do so however requires us to become familiar with our inner story.
Perhaps we need to give equal time to our souls as we do to our bodies. Of course we learn many things from the news around us, including things about our inner lives. Sports and entertainment are a big part of people’s lives today. But we also can often get caught up in the superficiality of events around us. Sometimes we also begin to project our lives through the lives of others – Hollywood and rock stars, other celebrities and even comic book heroes.
So next time you have an inclination to read the daily paper, watch the news or see a movie about other people’s lives, perhaps try opening up the story of your own life and its purpose.
The book of Genesis ends as the year ends. But our book just begins. What will your story be? It’s up to you.
Tags: transcendence, materialism, personal growth, your mission
Posted in 10 Tevet, Bereishit, Weekly Parsha, Months & Holidays, Soul & Mystical, Beliefs & Concepts, Tevet, Personal Life, Free Choice, Spiritual, Torah, Emotions & Psychology, Vayechi | 2 Comments »
December 25th, 2017
Faith, like many fundamental principles, is often misunderstood and suffers from many stereotypes. Many dismiss faith as childish or primitive; not fitting for a sophisticated mind and scientific method driven by reason and free inquiry. Those that reject faith are not only wrong; they are actually doing themselves a disservice. Because, in truth, faith is one of our most valuable and powerful resources. Faith is innate in all of us — it is our natural state of being. Faith is the power to go beyond our limited parameters and believe — and hope — in greater possibilities. Faith is the ability to dare. The challenge is to access our inner faith, to cultivate and harness its extraordinary energy. If you feel distanced from the idea of faith, here is an opportunity to reacquaint yourself with the basics of what faith is and is not.
What Faith Is
- It is a powerful, positive force in our lives.
- It is a faculty that recognizes truths that transcend the physical, sensory world.
- Faith is the pure experience of connecting to a power greater than yourself.
- Faith is the entity that prevents life from being a series of logical and illogical events, providing a sense of continuity and seamlessness in a fragmented world.
- Faith is plain, humble truth.
- Reason may tell us how to live, but faith tells us why to live.
- Faith begins where reason and logic end.
What Faith Is Not
- Faith is not a creation of our imagination meant to deal with issues that we can’t comprehend.
- Faith is not an absence of reason.
- It’s not a sign of weakness.
- It’s not what you resort to when all else fails.
- Faith is not childish naivete, gullibility, or laziness.
- It is not less integral than the faculty to think or feel.
- Faith is not a crutch.
Exercise: Examine your attitude toward faith. Then, do something that converts a good intention into action in order to strengthen your faith. Write about it in your free MyMLC Journal.
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Part 1: How Consciousness is Born: 6 Steps from the Quantum Supra-Conscious to the Conscious
Wednesday, February 1, 2023 @8:30pm
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Tags: faith vs. reason, Soul Gym: Gender Differences In Stress Response
Posted in Faith, Soul Gym, Beliefs & Concepts, Personal Life, Torah | No Comments »
December 13th, 2017
The best intentions fall short when you can’t implement them — especially when it comes to keeping a schedule. To turn motivation into action, try the following four tactics for sticking to a schedule. They counter the internal blocks that cause many people to fail at being organized.
Understand the Value of a Schedule
Being human is being productive. And being productive is being efficient and following a schedule and plan. Humans were designed to derive gratification from fruitfulness — people are born to be busy. Have you ever seen an idle toddler? A toddler who is a couch potato? What a sad, abnormal sight that would be! Schedules allow us to realize our natural and innate productivity — to live up to and actualize our greatest potential; to express the powerful energy we contain within in a focused manner.
Go Outside Your Comfort Zone
Though we are naturally active and energetic, as evidenced by every exploring toddler, the routines we develop and the negativity we absorb as we age cause us to slow down and even become inclined to vegetate. Inactivity can become the new norm. This lethargy can also cause us to become uncomfortable with schedules and deadlines. And it is this comfort zone that is keeping you from achieving your goals. So, the solution to organizing your schedule is to go beyond your comfort zone. It is worth being uncomfortable to get the satisfaction of being productive.
Taking just one action beyond your comfort zone can propel you into keeping a schedule. Any change you make to your daily activities will make a difference — it simply breaks your habit of inactivity. Try doing just one item on your schedule. Action breeds action. One leads to two, and so on.
Know the Difference Between Rest and Laziness
There is room for rest, but not laziness. Learn the difference between recharging your energy reserves and shirking responsibility. One way to evaluate how much time you spend on excessive resting is to write down everything you do for a whole day, and look back at the ways you’ve spent your time. This, of course, requires honesty with yourself and motivation to do something new that is outside your comfort zone. Keeping a log of how you spend your time is a perfect “one action” that can jolt you out of inactivity.
Create Continuity and Purpose In Your Schedule
How can you stick to a schedule if you think that the activities on it are unimportant and disjointed? Your daily schedule should reflect your raison d’etre — it’s a key to going from survival mode to living consciously. Find (or create) a thread of continuity throughout your day — a common theme and purpose which unites your activities.
Do you know what your purpose in life is? Do you have a personal mission statement? The fundamental work you must do to create continuity and purpose in your schedule is to know who you are, what you stand for, and what impact you want to have in the world. It sounds like a tall order, but having a personal mission statement and connecting all of the items on your schedule to it will dramatically change the way that you manage time and approach your responsibilities.
Go deeper into this subject: How to Focus and Manage Time | Mindful Multitasking | MyLife: Chassidus Applied Episode 127 | Vice Advice Series Part 7: Laziness | Your Guide to Personal Freedom: Discipline
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Tags: your mission, productivity, time management, purpose in life
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December 13th, 2017
Small Jars; Big Results
When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the overseer of his household, ‘Bring these men to the palace. Slaughter an animal and prepare it. These men will be eating lunch with me’ – this week’s Torah portion (Genesis 43:16)
Why does the Torah make such a fuss about the meal that Joseph served his brothers?
It all goes back to Jacob’s dislocated hip.
The Midrash explains that when Esau’s angel (the “stranger”) touched Jacob’s hip socket, he struck at all of Jacob’s descendants, referring to all the suffering and persecutions that the children of Jacob would endure at the hands of the children of Esau. But despite their horrible suffering, and deep wounds, they would prevail.
One of the consequences of Jacob’s wound was the selling of Joseph into slavery by his own brothers. How was it possible that such great men, the tribes and children of Jacob, forbearers of the entire Jewish nation, should stoop to petty jealousy driving them to first want to kill their own brother and then settle on selling him as slave?
Jacob’s eleven sons saw Joseph as a formidable threat to fulfilling the Divine purpose of life. Judah was designated to be the leader. His descendants – the House of David – were given kingship. When the brothers heard that Joseph dreamt that he would be their leader they saw this as mutiny against the Divinely ordained leadership of Judah. They foresaw the split that the children of Joseph would create in their mutiny against the house of David, the Kingdom of Israel that would break away from the Kingdom of Judah. To preempt this tragedy they felt that Joseph’s mutiny deserved death.
Why is Judah the appropriate leader and not Joseph? Judah (from the word ‘hodaah,’ “acknowledgment”) embodies faith and humility: the single most important ingredient in a true leader. He does not see himself as great, only as transparent channel of a Higher Will completely dedicated to serving his people. His ego and personality do not stand in the way between the people and G-d. Without absolute faith, humility and selflessness, leadership and the power that it wields is just plain dangerous.
Chassidic thought applies this to our personal lives: Judah is action and implementation (maaseh), Joseph is scholarship and knowledge (Talmud). Joseph’s great virtue, as his name implies, is the power of growth through wisdom and scholarship. But for all its strengths, scholarship without humility, knowledge without action, reason without faith, leads to arrogance and ultimately can become destructive. An absolute commitment to truth is built upon the unwavering foundation of faith.
Thus, Jacob’s children saw Joseph’s dreams of grandeur as a threat to the Divine plan.
However, they were mistaken. Joseph’s leadership was a necessary prerequisite to Judah’s kingship. Joseph, representing scholarship, is necessary before we can merit the humility of Judah. In a perfect world Judah is the leader (Moshiach son of David), but while we still live in an imperfect world, where there is a dichotomy between matter and spirit (Esau and Jacob), ignorant faith can be even more dangerous. The passion of absolute faith without knowledge, humility without the direction of wisdom, action without first studying, can become misguided and misdirected, to the point of harming others in the name of ignorant faith. Thus, the need for Joseph’s leadership, to temper and balance the passion of Judah: Wisdom to direct and guide one’s actions, knowledge to channel the power of faith. Joseph’s leadership (Moshiach son of Joseph) prepares and refines the world for the ultimate leadership of Judah (as related in the haftorah of the Vayigash portion). (see The Selling of Joseph)
This dichotomy between knowledge (Joseph) and implementation (Judah), between scholarship and faith, is reflected in Esau’s guardian angel displacing Jacob’s hip socket. The hip connects the higher part of the body with the lower part. When the angel displaced Jacob’s hip he severed the connection between mind and action.
The entire encounter of Joseph and his brothers is all about reconnecting the two forces of Joseph and Judah. So, when Joseph saw his brothers return with Benjamin he immediately ordered lunch to be served. Slaughter an animal and prepare it. These men will be eating lunch with me. The Talmud explains (Chulin 91a) that Joseph’s instruction “prepare it” meant to “remove the displaced (sciatic) nerve (gid hanasaha) in front of them [his brothers].” Joseph was making a point that his brothers see how the meat was being prepared for them in way that they could eat it, fulfilling the mitzvah of gid hanasha, not to eat “the displaced nerve on the hip joint to this very day because he [the angel] touched Jacob’s thigh on the displaced nerve” (Genesis 32:33).
Joseph was reminding them about the schism caused by Esau’s angel, which was also the root of Joseph and his brother’s battle.
When the brothers realized what was happening they became frightened. They began to understand their grave error (as they later acknowledge “G-d has uncovered our old sin” – 44:16) in selling Joseph; how it was another terrible expression of the split between faith and reason (Judah and Joseph).
Yet another manifestation of the displaced hip is when the Greeks defiled the Holy temple and the pure olive oil used to kindle the menorah (as mentioned above: Esau’s angel affected Jacob’s descendants in all generations). The Arizal teaches that Chanukah came to repair the wound in Jacob’s hip caused by Esau’s angel (the level of hod) (Siddur HaArizal, Kol Yaakov. See Pri Etz Chaim, Shaar Chanukah ch. 4).
The 16th century sage and mystic, the Shaloh (Drush Tzon Yosef), explains that this is alluded to in the words “kaf yereicho” (the upper joint of Jacob’s hip): The word “Yereicho” is also used to describe the base of the menorah (Exodus 25:31). “Kaf” (chof, peh) reversed is the word “pach” (cruse), referring to the cruse of pure oil discovered on Chanukah. Chanukah helps repair Jacob’s wound. The cruse of pure oil (“pach”), which represents the pure essence of the soul, transforms the dislocated hip (“kaf”); kindling the menorah with pure oil, reconnects the “base” of our beings – our actions (Judah) – with our branches and higher faculties (Joseph).
The plot thickens: Jacob’s battle with Esau’s angel came after Jacob returned across the river (after crossing his family and all his belongings) and “remained alone” to retrieve some “small jars” that were left behind (Chulin ibid. Cited in Rashi).
The Midrash explains the significance of these “small jars”: “From where did Jacob get this jar? When he picked up the stones from under his head and returned them in the morning, he found a stone that had a jar of oil in it, and he used it to pour on the top stone. When it refilled itself, Jacob knew it was set aside for G-d. He thus said, ‘It’s not right to leave this jar here’” (Yalkut Reuveni. See Sifsei Kohen al HaTorah. Birchat Shmuel Parshat Miketz 39d).
Twenty years before Jacob returned to face Esau, on his way to Charan, Jacob fell asleep after sunset on Mount Moriah with a stone under his head. There he had his famous dream of a ladder reaching into heaven. G-d shows Jacob the rise and fall of nations to come, the persecutions and redemptions of his children. G-d blesses and promises him “I am with you. I will protect you wherever you go and bring you back to this soil. I will not turn aside from you until I have fully kept this promise to you.”
Jacob awoke and realized that this must be the place of “G-d’s Temple,” the “gate to heaven.” In thanksgiving to G-d’s promise Jacob took the stone he had slept on and built a monument to commemorate his prophetic vision: “Jacob got up early in the morning and took the stone that he had placed under his head. He stood it up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it” (Genesis 28:11-18).
Now, twenty years later, when Jacob realizes that “small jars” with miraculous oil remain on the other side of the river, he returns to retrieve them – “It’s not right to leave this jar here.”
Another Midrash takes this a step further: G-d said to Jacob, “In the merit of endangering yourself for a small jar, I will repay your children with a small jar to the Hasmoneans [the miracle of Chanukah]” (Tzeidah LaDerech).
Because Jacob returned for the “small jars” of pure oil , and in doing so battles Esau’s angel all night long, Jacob’s children are repaid 1431 hundred years later with finding pure oil in exactly the same holy place where Jacob found oil the morning following his dream!
And though Jacob was wounded in the process – reflecting the fractured world in which we live – he prevailed over the angel, and ultimately was healed. So too, through the discovery of the “jar” (“pach”) of pure oil on Chanukah and kindling the flame after sunset, we conquer the darkness and repair the dislocated hip (“kaf”).
Everything that happened to Jacob happened to [his son] Joseph. Joseph was “sent” to Egypt in order to redeem the “jars” – to begin the refinement process of the nations, including Esau (see Joseph’s Treasures). Joseph, as a good son of his father Jacob, recognized the wound that had ruptured his relationship with his brothers. He therefore prepared a meal with his brothers to remind them of the work that needs to be done to heal the injured hip, connecting the higher with the lower.
Indeed, the Mordechai (cited in Matah Moshe sec. 996) says that the lunch meal Joseph shared with his brothers alludes to the Chanukah meal (see Shaar Yissachar, Chanukah). Perhaps it can also said that with this meal (which was initiated by Joseph when he first saw his brother Benjamin) Joseph imbued Benjamin (and his descendants, King Saul and later Mordechai) with the power to repair Jacob’s wound, as explained in the Zohar how the prophet Samuel (who anointed King Saul) repaired the wound (Zohar I 21b. II 111b-112b. Explained in the Ramak’s Pardes, Shaar Yerech Yaakov. Arizal – Likkutei Torah and Sefer HaLikkutim Samuel I 10. Kanfei Yonah 53. Kol Bochim Eicha 4:18, cited in Shaloh Mesechta Megilah). Benjamin was also the cataylst and bridge that reunited Joseph with Judah and his brothers.
We thus see how seemingly unrelated events in the lives of Jacob, Joseph and his brothers, transpiring in different times and places, all come together in a fascinating mosaic telling us one story: How we can transcend our wounds and reintegrate our lives.
Everything that happened to the patriarchs is an indication for their children. All the events come to teach us about the future…they were shown what would happen to their descendants.
Jacob’s wrestling with Esau’s angel through the night represents the battles through all forms of darkness in our own lives, until the dawn of redemption. Throughout the night of exile – in all its shapes and forms, external and internal, physical and psychological – we have fought and continue to fight many battles against those that would try to extinguish spiritual light.
Often, very often, we “remain alone” and have to fight a lonely battle. At times we may feel resigned and demoralized: Is anybody watching over us? Does anybody care? Or are we trapped in our own existential solitude, left to struggle all alone? And if so, why should we bother? Why make the effort to retrieve “small jars,” why search out a seemingly trivial detail?
Our forefather Jacob battle teaches us that life’s challenges are often experienced “alone.” But that is precisely the ultimate purpose of our lives – to cross the river and redeem the pure oil of the soul that is concealed in the “small jars.”
We may like to score great achievements; we may prefer to gravitate to major events and dramatic experiences. But often we will encounter “small jars” – nothing very substantial or glamorous. We may meet a lonely soul in need of help. Perhaps a little child who can use a smile, or an older person lying in a hospital bed.
Always remember that the “small jars” contain potent energy, pure oil, perhaps the most potent energy of them all. And it may well be that the entire purpose of your existence is to uncover the “small jars” that will come your way.
By returning for the “small jars” of undiminished oil, Jacob battled the angel all night long and prevailed. He thus imbued us with the power to fight and win our battles, until we reveal the ultimate light of personal and global redemption.
So, next time a “small jars” situation comes your way that may not seem very significant, remember: The jar contains powerful fuel. Go redeem it. “It’s not right to leave this jar here.”
* * *
Question for the week: What suggestions do you have to deal with loneliness?
Tags: Chanukah, Joseph, purpose of life, divine sparks, Divine knowledge, ignorant faith, leadership, Joseph's dream, implementation, humility, selflessness, Jacob's ladder, faith, Jacob
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Bereishit, Biblical, Months & Holidays, Chanukah, Kislev, Torah Personalities, Torah, Joseph, Mikeitz, The Twelve Tribes | 7 Comments »
December 7th, 2017
Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, known as the Alter Rebbe (1745-1812), was a giant. As an unprecedented master who fused all aspects of the Torah, both the revealed and the esoteric, the Alter Rebbe developed the most eloquent and comprehensive blueprint to date in bridging the schism between the material and the spiritual – offering a dynamic blueprint for life today, one that makes the spiritual journey personally relevant to contemporary times.
This system, called Chabad Chassidus, can be summed up this way: If Kabbalah manifests the Divine in the human then Chabad Chassidism transforms the human into the Divine. This interface between G-d and Man allows us to enter the modern world without compromising timeless values. On the contrary: it begets the opportunity to integrate both freedoms, material and spiritual, by refining and spiritualizing material secularism, turning the world into an intimate home for the Divine. .
To honor the 19th of Kislev (the day Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi was released from imprisonment in Czarist Russia — a seminal moment in Chassidic history and scholarship) we offer you an essay that describes some of Rabbi Schneur Zalman’s unique and groundbreaking insights into the human psyche. For more material, please view Rabbi Jacobson’s powerful class on this topic.
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Modern-day science believes that we humans are evolved beasts, driven by primal, narcissistic needs and feelings. What can we truly expect of creatures obsessed with survival of the fittest? What can we really look forward to for the future of the human race?
In this fascinating essay, we dissect our current view of the human psyche, and offer the Alter Rebbe’s fresh psychological model that will revolutionize the way you think about yourself and the world.
It is commonly accepted that the age of modern psychology began at the end of the 19th century. The way we understand ourselves today is very much defined by the thinking of William James, then Sigmund Freud, who some call the Father of Psychology, followed by Carl Jung, BF Skinner and other great psychologists of the 20th century.
I would like to submit that the Father of Psychology is actually a man who lived a century earlier, and has yet to be recognized as the true pioneer of modern psychology.
That man was Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812), and he offered the most sophisticated and comprehensive view to date on the nature of the human psyche and its struggles.
Rabbi Schneur Zalman’s immense contribution can be appreciated by contrasting it with the prevalent view on the psyche.
The big issue facing psychology is of course the human struggle between our conflicting drives. On the lowest end of the spectrum is our selfish need to survive and experience pleasure. On the next rung, our practical need to co-exist, to love and be loved and live productive lives. Then we have our ethical values and our conscience. And finally, our higher, spiritual and transcendental dimensions.
Human anxiety is a result of our conflicting voices. How we treat and mistreat others is determined by which force controls our behavior. Vulnerable and impressionable children, of course, are the first to suffer the consequences and are hurt the deepest by our clashing drives colliding with each other. And we all begin our lives as children. Then, these children grow up and have to pick up the pieces, try to heal from their wounds and rebuild their lives.
The rest is history – your history and mine, the history of every person alive today struggling with the disparate forces that shape our personalities and define our life choices. A vicious cycle indeed.
Plaguing thinkers from the beginning of time is the million-dollar question: Who is the real you? Or more precisely: Which of our drives is the most powerful one? Which is most dominant?
The prevalent theory – which can be coined the Darwinian-Freudian model – argues that the most powerful and most basic human drive is selfish survival.
Humans are fundamentally no different than other creatures, and indeed have evolved from the same ancestors. According to Darwin’s theory of Natural Selection, variation within species occurs randomly and the survival or extinction of each organism is determined by that organism’s ability to adapt to its environment. Another name Darwin (1809-1882) gave Natural Selection was “the preservation of favoured races in the struggle for life.”
Darwin did not speak in psychological terms. Indeed, he avoided applying his theory to the social and religious arena. It was apparently British philosopher Herbert Spencer (1820-1903) who first used the term “survival of the fittest” as a central tenet of what became known as “Social Darwinism.” He applied (or some say misapplied) Darwin’s idea of natural selection to justify European domination and colonization of much of the rest of the world. Social Darwinism was also widely used to defend the unequal distribution of wealth and power in Europe and North America at the time. Poor and politically powerless people were thought to have been failures in the natural competition for survival. Subsequently, helping them was seen as a waste of time and counter to nature. Rich and powerful people did not need to feel ashamed of their advantages because their success was proof that they were the most fit in this competition.
In the psychological realm, Freud (1856-1939) posited that the most basic of all human instincts is the “Id,” the primal, unconscious source for satisfying all mans’ basic needs and feelings. It has only one rule: The “pleasure principle:” “I want it and I want it all now.” The id wants whatever feels good at the time, with no consideration for the reality of the situation or the good of others.
Then there is the “Ego,” the rational part of the mind that relates to the real world and operates via the “reality principle,” recognizing that you can’t always get what you want. The Ego realizes the need for compromise and negotiates between the Id and the Superego, which might be called the moral part of the mind. The Superego is an embodiment of parental and societal values. It stores and enforces rules. The Ego’s job is to get the Id’s pleasures but to be reasonable and bear the long-term consequences in mind. The Ego denies both instant gratification and pious delaying of gratification.
Freud described the human personality as being: “…basically a battlefield. He is a dark-cellar in which a well-bred spinster lady (the superego) and a sex-crazed monkey (the id) are forever engaged in mortal combat, the struggle being refereed by a rather nervous bank clerk (the ego).”
Thus an individual’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are the result of the interaction of the id, the superego, and the ego. This creates conflict, which leads to anxiety, which in turn generates all types of defense mechanisms.
Though Freud may not have directly correlated his theories to Darwin’s, it’s irresistible to avoid the parallels, and how each complements the other. If humans are merely “billion year old bacteria” and essentially no different than any other animal fighting for survival, then it would make absolute sense that our most dominant drive is fixation on our own needs and pleasure, even at the expense of others. “Survival of the fittest.”
Obviously, there are many variations of this theory. There are also many opinions that fundamentally disagree with Freud. Still, despite the differences, the prevailing view tends to lean toward the Darwinian-Freudian model.
One of the sad consequences of this viewpoint is the lack of expectation we can have of each other. If our most natural self is the need to survive and the narcissistic pursuit of pleasure, then what can we really expect of people?! Can we really be disappointed if someone ends up hurting others in his/her own driving need for pleasure? Can we even blame the person? After all, we are sophisticated “bacteria” just trying to survive in a hostile environment… Yes, we can expect of humans to create superimposed rules, like “red lights” and “green lights” so that we can coexist and not destroy each other. But that is superimposed, not our natural state.
It’s interesting to note, that the original German for Freud’s Ego is “ich,” yet another manifestation of the “self.” So even as the Ego negotiates between the Id and the Superego, it still is fundamentally self motivated. [Superego, Uber-ich, can be translated as a dimension that is above – that transcends – the ego. But it can also mean a superman, ultra ego].
If you take it to the anarchist extreme, one can even question our entire justice system. Are we really expecting people to be better, or are we just trying to keep the “store” intact so that we don’t self-destruct. In other words, if the “cat were let out of the bag,” anarchy would prevail. So we need subjective, arbitrary rules to maintain order.
No wonder fear is the most commonly used tool in education, and punishment is the most popular deterrent to crime. Since people are essentially animals, with an ominous Id lurking within, never knowing when it will strike, we can’t depend or trust that people will just do the “right thing” and “rise to the occasion.”
That sure sounds harsh, doesn’t it?! And indeed, I amplified certain points in order to crystallize the issues, but I have not distorted any of them, and the description above more or less describes contemporary psychological theory.
No doubt that many of us are surely repulsed by this dark perspective on human nature. You may wonder: What about the soul? What about the beautiful acts of nobility and heroism we witness time and again? What about all those people who paid heavy, selfless prices for their beliefs and for protecting others?
How does all human virtue and dignity fit into the Darwinian-Freudian model?
And what about the inner voice that resonates so deeply in most people that good must prevail? And the disturbing feelings we feel when innocent people are hurt? Is all that yet another evolutionary aberration — a quirk — that is inconsistent with the cardinal law of “survival of the fittest”?! Or is it the other way around: Perhaps the good in humans is the most dominant force, and the current “low-end” model may be flawed.
These are excellent questions. Indeed, these and other vital questions are catalysts that compel us to recognize that there is a serious gaping hole in the Darwinian-Freudian model.
After all, no one has ever seen the human psyche. By definition the unconscious defies conscious human observation. Let alone the soul. So, basically all theories about the psyche are as subjective and arbitrary as the people positing these theories and their own life experiences.
No one is blaming Freud or other psychologists. But all they really could offer us is based on their personal psychological experiences. Perhaps some of them were surrounded predominantly by Id-like experiences, which informed their observations and conclusions? Had they truly experienced the selflessness of the soul, they may have incorporated other theories into their models.
All that is speculation. Let’s get back to history.
Preceding all these thinkers, was Rabbi Schneur Zalman’s psychological model, which is defined by three revolutionary principles:
- Human self-control is inherent, not acquired.
- The essence of a human is good and Divine; the Yid, not the Id.
- Even mans’ intrinsic self and selfishness (“itness”) is rooted in the Essence of the Divine Self.
Here’s a brief overview of Rabbi Schneur Zalman’s model:
A person carries two voices, two souls: The animal soul and the Divine one. In the words of Ecclesiastes, “The human spirit ascends on high; the spirit of the beast descends down into the earth.” They are in constant struggle, with the animal soul seeking instant gratification and pleasure (like the Id), and the Divine soul seeking transcendence and unity. The animal spirit wants to be “more animal,” hence more self-ego. The Divine spirit wants to be “more Divine,” more selfless.
The domain of the animal manifests in the impulsive emotions, while the domain of the Divine spirit rests in the reflective mind, which can control and temper impulsive reactions. A young child for instance, is controlled entirely by emotion, and yells out “I want it and I want it all now.” Similarly the animal within us selfishly barks “give, give.” As our minds develop we gain the ability to reflect, repress, temper or channel our impulses.
The question of course is, as mentioned earlier, which is our most dominant force?
The answer is the Divine soul. The inner good in man is the most dominant force in our lives. Yet, this force is locked in battle with the animal soul. We have the freedom and the ability to overcome any temptation if we so wish through self control (“moach shalit al halev,” the mind’s dominance over the emotions).
Self Control
An argument can be made that self-control is an acquired skill that comes later in life, and is superimposed over the inherent impulses of the heart. And as a rule, an acquired skill will never be as powerful as an inherent one. It can dominate for a while, but when “push comes to shove,” and survival is at stake, we will gravitate to the inherent.
Rabbi Schneur Zalman categorically rejects that argument, and unequivocally states that the power of self-control is natural and inherent to the human being. We are born with that quality. But like other talents, kit takes time for it to emerge in our lives. As our mind develops, it brings out our inherent self-control.
Rabbi Schneur Zalman actually supports this with a verse in Ecclesiastes, which equates the dominance of the mind over folly [of the impulsive heart] to the natural dominance of light over darkness. Unlike fire and water, two equal adversaries, which have the power to extinguish each other, light naturally dispels darkness.
— Incidentally, this is the essential theme of Chanukah, when we light the flames at sundown and facing the street, to demonstrate the victory of spirit over matter, quality over quantity, and the few over the many.
The Essence is Good
True, we have an impulsive animal spirit. But even more powerful than the animal is the Divine Image in which each human being was created.
Yes, we have an inherent primal, unconscious force that shapes all our behavior. But the deepest force within us is not the Id, but the Yid, the “pintele yud,” the Divine spark (like the Hebrew letter Yud, which looks like a dot).
Fueled by our (inherent) self-control, behavioral discipline helps us access our inner good and bring it to the surface.
So, in Rabbi Schneur Zalman’s model, behavioral change goes hand in hand with internal work.
The Human Self Below is Rooted in the Divine Self Above
One can argue that all vice (greed, selfishness, corruption etc.) is rooted in the inherent “itness” of our ego, the sense of self-containment that feels as if it has no source and is utterly independent of anything except itself. The self is driven to survive and distinguishes us from others. If we felt, for instance, that we were integrally connected to a higher unity and to other people, like limbs of one body, we would never hurt each other, just as one limb doesn’t hurt another in a healthy body.
This would lead us to conclude, that ethical and spiritual goals must include some form of “self” sacrifice. As long as the self-contained self is intact, the basic drives of self-survival will continue to impede spiritual growth.
According to this way of thinking, the ego is the root of all evil, and the independent “self” is an illusion and a distortion that must be eliminated.
Hence, all spiritual disciplines include measure to tame and even nullify the ego.
Enters Rabbi Schneur Zalman with a radically different approach — which may be his greatest contribution of all. He explains, in perhaps one of the most powerful philosophical declarations ever made, that our sense of “self,” the feeling that we are “self-created,” with no source preceding us, is rooted in the Divine “Self” whose existence is Self-generated, with no other source preceding Him.
True, we must do everything to sublimate our egos, but the ultimate goal is not nullification of the ego but transforming it into recognizing that it is a manifestation of the Divine Self. The “yesh hanivra” becomes united with the “Yesh haAmiti,” the human ego unites with the Divine Ego; the created “it” (self) below is rooted in the true “It” (self) Above.
So in addition to our inherent self-control and goodness, even our Id (“it” in English, “es” in German) is ultimately rooted in the true “It.”
All of the basic ideas in contemporary psychology about the struggle and battle between different forces within us are included in Rabbi Schneur Zalman’s model. Yet, with a critical additional dimension of the inherent Divine spirit, that accounts for mans’ sublime nature, and thus radically alters the way we look at a human being and his/her potential.
Rabbi Schneur Zalman also recognizes human inherent selfishness (the Id). Yet he doesn’t stop there, and sees deeper dimensions even beyond that. Rabbi Schneur Zalman’s picture is simply a bigger and more encompassing one.
Perhaps Divine choreography arranged that Rabbi Schneur Zalman’s model be introduced at the end of the 18th century (1796 to be exact), as a type of “cure preceding the illness” phenomenon. His model served as a pre-emptive prelude to the psychological and scientific revolution that would rock the world and our notion of human nature.
All systems of knowledge, if I may, evolve. As new discoveries are made, arguments and counterarguments serve the role of crystallizing ideas. Through trial and error, and the sincere search for truth, every theory undergoes refinement, “reality checks” and “market corrections.” Certain details may be discarded in the process, as the idea matures into fruition.
Freud and the other thinkers of the 19th-20th century opened may new doors of inquiry and deserve the credit for recognizing deeper truths about the human condition. Rejecting any of their conclusions in no way rejects their contributions.
It’s ironic that the Enlightenment and the psychological – and all other scientific – advances in the last few centuries were followed by the most blood-shedding century in history: The Two World Wars.
The turmoil of the last hundred years — and the upheaval today, both personally and globally — provides us with a unique opportunity to revisit our psychological models. With all our so-called psychological insights, and with a thriving therapeutic industry — as well as unprecedented dysfunctionality in family life and in religious life — we can learn much about how to define, or not to define, the very nature of what it means to be human.
Over two centuries ago Rabbi Schneur Zalman presented us with an invaluable model of life that can be appreciated now more than ever.
It would be wise to explore his teachings, which provide us with a most comprehensive blueprint for modern life, uniting faith and reason, spirit and matter in our struggle with physical life.
Freud and his colleagues may be the fathers of psychology today. But the Alter Rebbe is the true father of the psychology of tomorrow.
Tags: ego, Tanya, Freud, psychology
Posted in Yud-Tes Kislev, Soul & Mystical, Months & Holidays, Alter Rebbe, Personal Life, Torah Personalities, Modern, Spiritual, Torah, Emotions & Psychology | No Comments »
December 5th, 2017
Sleep strengthens and refreshes you. But what can you do if you suffer from insomnia or don’t have restful nights? The following three sleeping tips are based on the timeless wisdom of Kabbalah. They encompass the physical, spiritual, and emotional aspects of sleep.
Darkness
Humans were designed to sleep at night. What makes night conducive for the regenerative powers of sleep? Night is a time of darkness — a time of concealment, and a time of processing. At night our conscious faculties shut or slow down and are concealed, like dimmed lights. They are not in their full-functional mode: Instead of exuding energy, and aggressively initiating and creating, our faculties are more in an absorbing and processing mode. If day is sound, night is silence. At night your soul returns to its spiritual energy source where it gets reinvigorated by the nourishing “waters” of the source, which renew the soul’s “batteries.”
Healthy, refreshing sleep happens when it parallels “night” energy, by entering a calm zone which reflects the lower volume of nighttime. If you bring your aggressive “day” energy into your sleep, you will have a restless night. Night and sleep is a time when you don’t have the crystal clarity and illumination of daylight. Fully embrace the quiet darkness of night if you want to sleep better. Practically, that means create a sleep environment for yourself that dims and silences the loudness of daytime “rush hour” — no cell phone, no TV, no newspaper on your nose — a back-to-basics silence, in a nurturing bed that feels cocoon-like. It also means getting into bed earlier to take advantage of as many of nighttime’s quiet hours as possible — a quietude that physically and spiritually supports the state of sleep.
Establish a New Nightly Ritual
The activities you do before bed set the stage for a better night’s sleep. That’s why sleeping tip number two is to establish a new nightly ritual that nurtures your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs: reading something meaningful and soulful. Reciting a heartfelt prayer. Thinking about the people you love. Contemplating on returning your soul to its Source. Here is a Soul Workout that details the steps of an effective nightly ritual: Your New Nightly Ritual.
Seek Guidance
“Good health is a sound soul in a sound body.” When you have a problem like insomnia, your body and soul are crying out that at least one of them has a problem. Your responsibility to yourself is to care for your body and nurture your soul. So, the third sleeping tip is to seek guidance. Speak to a spiritual mentor and to a doctor who can help identify emotional, psychological or physical factors that may be preventing you from getting the restful sleep you need.
Go deeper into this subject: What do You Dream About? | Health: Body and Soul | A Refreshing Death | One Day: The Spiritual Meaning of Day and Night
Tags: sleeping, insomnia, self-help, night, day, light and darkness, darkness, health
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Daily Life, Life Cycles | 4 Comments »
