March 8th, 2017
It might seem counterintuitive, but the the cure for apathy is preventing it. Even if you are already in a state of complacency and indifference, the best defense is a good offense. If you are feeling empty, useless, and like you can’t accomplish anything, use the following seven steps to jolt yourself back into action.
Step One: Identify a hobby, talent, or skill that you have. It should be something you’re good at and enjoy. Then connect your hobby, talent, or skill with something soulful. For example, use music to convey a message of hope. Use your talents as a spiritual way of helping others, creating enthusiasm and inspiration. Apathy is countered by triggering activity that your “heart desires.”
Step Two: Find kindred spirits. Connect with others who have similar interests and have similar challenges. There is a certain power and synergy in collaborating with different people. Brainstorm, communicate, even just show friendship. Cross-pollination will invigorate you.
Step Three: Use technology. Without leaving home, you can post something online. You can upload a video. You can collaborate with someone else in spreading a positive message. You can use emails and social media to share messages of hope and warmth. Share ideas and strategies to help address the challenges that we all face.
Step Four: Create an online group. Invite people with similar interest to join together as a community. Create an empowering space for networking and collaborations.
Step Five: Train the next generation (this step is for those who have children or are in nurturing contact with children). Every day, speak with your child or student about their unique, indispensable mission in life. Encourage the child to look for interests they gravitate to — a hobby, a skill, a talent. Encourage children to use their fertile imagination. To dream. Cultivate and direct these talents and imaginations — not just for their own artistic expression, but to help other people. Reward them for it. Let them talk about purpose and what it means to connect with a power higher than they are. On a daily basis, inculcate them with the message that they have something unique to contribute to the world. Encourage them to pursue anything that infuses them with that attitude.
Step Six: Become a leader. Generate something. Be proactive, not reactive. Influence, instead of being influenced. Initiate. Organize a class. Start teaching a small group or one on one. Host a discussion or book club. It can be in person or online — what matters is that is uplifting and forward-thinking. Seek out way to inspire others. Every time you initiate a good activity – it’s like giving birth, empowering us and infusing us with the feeling: “I am creating something.”
Step Seven: Every day ask yourself: Have I used the unique skills that I was blessed with? What have I done today to make my corner of the world a better place. A day should not pass where you have not used your particular strengths or skills in one way or another to inspire your sphere of influence, whatever size it is. This can be simply sending an email to a needy person, or visiting someone who needs support. Your contribution does not need to look monumental; it just needs to exist. Even the smallest positive action can have the most far-reaching effect. Know that every positive thing you do sends ripples across the material and spiritual realms.
Exercise: Use your imagination to find an eighth way to transcend apathy. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Sign up now for your FREE MyMLC account and get access to a variety of resources, including a daily journal, to record the growth and progress of your daily soul workouts and meaningful journey.
Go deeper into this subject: Dealing With Apathy Towards Judaism, Addendum to Apathy Talk, The Inferno, Heat and Cold, Doubt: The Silent Killer, An Exercise to Find Out Who You Are, Finding Purpose in the Pursuit of a Hobby
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Empathy vs. Apathy: The Battle for Humanity
January 15, 2025 @8:30pm
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Tags: doubt, Amalek, Divine purpose, apathy, purpose in life, inspiration, your mission
Posted in Your Mission, Your Purpose, Soul Gym | No Comments »
March 7th, 2017
There are two types of miracles in our lives: revealed miracles, and miracles that are dressed up in the garments of nature.
- A revealed miracle is an open miracle. It is a suspension of nature in which the seemingly impossible happened. They are infrequent and obvious.
- A concealed miracle plays itself out through natural means. While a concealed miracle occurs, everything in life seems conventional. You won’t notice it until after it happens. And even then, you need to connect the dots to see the emerging pattern of the miracle.
Concealed miracles, which manifest through the occurrences of our daily lives, happen far more frequently than revealed miracles. If you want to see miracles in your life, look for concealed miracles.
Why We Don’t See Concealed Miracles
We don’t see miracles hidden in nature because without a concerted effort we tend to look at events superficially, on the surface level, without looking deeper. The routines of nature hide the forces that lie beneath. We are living through the here and now, frame by frame, while miracles happen all around us. It is easier to see concealed miracles in retrospect. For example, you could see why losing a job a few years ago became a great blessing. Not seeing concealed miracles is a result of not seeing the forest for the trees; of not having a bird’s eye view of our own lives. When you take a deeper look at the routine events in your life, you can begin to discern the patterns, and see how even a seemingly trivial event becomes the beginning of a miracle. It’s up to us whether the concealment will remain concealed.
Humility Is The Key to Seeing Miracles
How can you see what you cannot see? Humility. If you want to see miracles, you cannot think you have it all figured out. You have to acknowledge that there is a power greater than yourself, as well as a realm of activity in the spiritual world that you are not aware of and are not in control of. You have to acknowledge that there is a story behind the story of your ostensible life; that the script of your life is unfolding all the time, and that you are co-creating it with a power greater than yourself.
Too much ego leaves no room for the unknown and unexpected. In order to be open to seeing how divine providence works in your life, you have to leave a few lines open for your higher power to fill in. You have to know that there are things you do not know. The greatest things can happen when you get out of your own way.
Another Key to Seeing Miracles Is Awareness
When we are aware that there is something unfolding that we do not see, we start seeing concealed miracles emerge. As we recognize the extraordinary in the ordinary, we start seeing the larger picture. In all situations in daily life, we look for something to learn. We look for messages from above. We welcome the variables that we didn’t count on. Our answers are there but we mostly miss them because we’re busy with our own ideas and plans. We must pursue awareness of the possibilities that are being sent our way, lest we miss them.
Go deeper into this subject: The Hidden Script of Your Life, What You See Is Not What You Get: The Story Behind the Story, An Open Letter to a Concealed G-d, Do You Believe in Magic?, Are You Waiting for a Miracle?
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Tears and Joy in the Holy Land: Diary from Israel
Wednesday, May 22, 2024 @8:30pm
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Tags: spiritual vessels, humility, miracles, self awareness
Posted in Soul Gym, Miracles, Beliefs & Concepts, Torah | 2 Comments »
March 3rd, 2017
It always has been a challenge to distinguish between healthy outrage (over serious crimes, for example) and unhealthy outrage (resulting from someone having a short fuse, or someone exaggerating a problem for subjective motives). But with the advent of technology, this challenge has been amplified to new proportions. Outrage is the name of the game on the Internet. On Facebook, have you ever “heard” anyone say, “This guy is everything that is wrong with society!” Have you seen someone virtually scream at an acquaintance with words like, “You’re part of the problem!” Have you read comments on articles suggesting that someone be killed, or put in jail for life, or at least publicly shamed because of something he or she did wrong?
We’ve all seen these kind of vicious reactions, since people seem to get outraged as soon as some new scandal breaks. Is the outrage warranted? Why do people get suddenly sensitive to particular issues, to the extent that they rage at friends and strangers alike? We don’t deny that there are major problems in the world, and that the depravity and violence that exists out there deserves critique. You have to wonder, though, if folks’ general judgmentalism and reactiveness are being cloaked in concern for the well-being of humanity.
Before we rage in general, including on the Internet, we should ask this question: Why specifically this? Even if our critique is perfectly legitimate, why have we attached ourselves to this particular issue? Is there an issue that might be more important to address? Who appointed us to police every problem and scandal that pops up in our newsfeeds? Maybe our outrage is disproportionate.
Over-emphasis — and exaggerated reactions — may be something that turns people off to our perspectives, rather than bringing them closer. When we’re screaming at each other, why are people not listening to us? If we care so much, how come we’re not able to influence anyone? Clearly, if we speak to someone and you’re not effecting them, it means there is something wrong in the way we are communicating. “Words from the heart go enter the heart,” say the sages.
We can’t bring someone closer to truth through telling him how wrong and stupid he is. We have to focus on the positive approach. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Our attitude has to be one to improve, not to criticize.
Outrage is a sign of intolerance. Today it’s reacting to something online; tomorrow it will be reacting to something in our personal lives. The issue is our attitudes far more than it is the most recent crimes being reported on the Internet. Is there anyone who can stand up and say, “I am perfect. I have it all worked out.”? Most critique is a smoke screen for other problems. Maybe the way that we express our attitude toward hot-button issues is a symptom of our own private misdeeds. If we want to look for faults, there’s a lot to look at within ourselves.
Go deeper into this subject: The Art of Communication, MyLife: Chassidus Applied Episode 18
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Uncertainty Everywhere: Are We at a Turning Point in History? Wednesday, July 24, 2024 @8:30pm
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Tags: Soul Gym: Role of Government
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March 1st, 2017
It’s true that selfishness is part of human nature — just like selflessness and goodness are also part of human nature. The challenge we face is not overcoming human nature, but choosing which attributes of our nature we want to cultivate within ourselves. Selfishness seems to come easier to us than selflessness because:
- It doesn’t take much effort to take care of your own needs, and ignore others.
- “The world” is selfish. You see selfishness all around you. Why then should you be different?
- “Survival of the fittest” demands putting yourself first.
- You’d have to separate yourself from the world in order not to be selfish — or you’ll be taken advantage of.
- Selfishness is commonly understood as being synonymous with “human nature.” Why fight our very nature?
The fact that arrogance and greed feel “natural” is a reflection of the narcissistic culture we live in. And yet, all self-growth is predicated on transcending what we’re used to — getting out of our comfort zones — and growing into what and who we want to be. If you are frustrated with your own selfishness and you want to develop selflessness instead, the following four tactics, based on Kabbalistic principles, should help you nurture the better aspects of your nature.
Pursue Knowledge
Our reflective and objective minds allows us to transcend the subjective interests of our impulsive emotions. This is the essence of healthy knowledge: being able to see things from a perspective that is not driven by self-interest, and the exploitation of others. Learning about things that refine life counteracts selfishness. In order to go outside of yourself and your own interests, you need to know what options are outside yourself, and how you can access them. What does the world look like beyond the sphere of your prejudices? How have other people transcended their own setbacks? Expanding your knowledge base — in a humble way — will allow you to shift your focus from yourself to others, and to the greater good and infinite world around you.
Give Charity
Giving money to charity is a sure way to free you from the tentacles of your self-interest. Money epitomizes self-absorption. When you give money to charity, you are giving of your efforts, your abilities, and your time. When you give to charity, you receive something important: You fulfill the fundamental human need to share what has been given to us. Fulfilling that need — within yourself — brings you into contact with, and closer to, your attributes of selflessness.
Practice Faith
The ego is a voice that covers up the free and pure voice that we were born with, also known as the “still small voice”, the “inner child”, and “the soul”. True faith, not blind faith, is not the absence of reason, but a transcendent force that is beyond reason. It allows you to travel within yourself, to a place that is beyond the conventional personality you project, to a place where your still small voice is doing the talking. When your still small voice speaks, you experience no ego and only connection to the infinite world around you. When you focus on the now, you take your selfishness out of the equation.
Love Unconditionally
True love is unconditional love. With superficial love, you love the other in order to have your own needs met. With true love, you love the other unconditionally, whether they meet your needs or not. When you practice unconditional love in your personal relationships, you are exercising your “selflessness muscle”. You are simultaneously overcoming your own selfishness, and making selflessness your default mode of operation.
Go deeper into this subject: Storming Heaven, Two Floods, Money: A Blessing or a Curse, Predetermined Choice, Unconditional Love, Fear Is Really About Loneliness, Chanukah: An American Holiday
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Decoding the Psyche: Heart, Mind, and Soul Aligned
Wednesday, December 10, @8:30pm
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Tags: Soul Gym: Servant Leadership
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 5 Comments »
February 28th, 2017
“He has fear of commitment.”
“She’s afraid to commit.”
What if you are the one with the fear of commitment? What if fear of commitment is stopping you from leading a fulfilling life and having the kind of close relationships that you (deep down) truly want?
The following seven steps are the spiritual steps you need to take in order to get over your fear of commitment. They will require time, perseverance, and introspection to take, but your work will be worth it.
Step One: Work On Lovingkindness
A neutral or indifferent attitude = a marginal commitment.
You can’t commit to someone or something you don’t love. If you have trouble making commitments, examine how much you love the person you mean to commit to. If you cannot commit to a relationship, you need to work on bringing love into that relationship. And perhaps if you cannot commit, you are not truly in a loving relationship. Express kindness and love to your beloved in order to create the love necessary for commitment.
Step Two: Focus Your Commitment
Focus your commitment by focusing on commitment. Commitment must be directed toward a goal. How could you be tenacious without a goal? If you want to be in a committed relationship, the relationship must have a goal beyond itself, a Divine goal. Focus on that goal. Also, have you been tenaciousness in avoiding commitment? Examine the ways in which you have manifested your focus on avoiding commitment. Rectify them.
Step Three: Cultivate Your Empathy
Commitment means helping another grow. Commitment is an act of empathy. Commitment means being gracious when things get difficult. In order to overcome a fear of commitment, you must work on your emotional attribute of empathy. A committed relationship is one in which both partners are patient with each other, as well as patient with the relationship. If you are afraid of commitment, work on cultivating patience and empathy within yourself.
Step Four: Stop Enduring Your Fear Of Commitment
If you have fear of commitment, you need to stop enduring it.
You don’t have to endure fear of commitment. If you have an emotional problem, you can change it. You have holiness, Divinity, and power within you. Use that power to change. You are not stuck with fear of commitment. You must transcend your fear of being trapped and instead focus on adding the dimension of purpose to your relationship.
Step Five: Work On Flexibility
Commitment takes flexibility and it takes humility. Do you know when to yield? Perhaps you are afraid of commitment because you know that yielding is a fundamental part of maintaining a long-term relationship. What if yielding weren’t so hard for you? What if yielding came naturally to you? What if you saw humility as a source of strength and connection instead of an assault on your ego?
Step Six: Bond With The Person You Want To Commit To
In order to commit, you must bond. Bonding is an expression of commitment as much as it is a component of it. Bonding is necessary for a commitment to endure. Bonding establishes trust, confidence, and devotion. Commitment is attachment. Become better at attaching yourself to others and you will become better at committing.
Step Seven: Fight For Commitment
Express the majesty of human spirit through commitment.
Commitment is holy. Commitment is majestic. Commitment is dignified. Commitment brings Heaven down to Earth. If you want it, you have to fight for it. Your relationships matter. You matter. In a committed relationship, both you and your partner should feel like royalty. Improve your sense of dignity and majesty and you are well on your way to overcoming fear of commitment.
Go deeper into this subject: Your Guide to Personal Freedom, Justice & Discipline & Restraint & Awe, Compassion, Lovingkindness, Humility, Bonding, Nobility & Sovereignty & Leadership
Tags: relationships, emotions, personal growth, commitment, Netzach
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Love & Marriage, Emotions & Psychology | No Comments »
February 25th, 2017
There are so many “what ifs” that we contend with every day. What if I have Coronavirus? What if a bus hits me? What if I get in a car accident? What if the plane I am on crashes? What if I get ZIKA virus? What if I get bitten by a tick and get Lyme disease? What if somebody breaks into my house? What if my neighbors are looking into my windows? What if someone doesn’t like me? What if I offend someone? What if the wrong candidate wins the presidential race? What if the wrong country takes over all international trade? What if the polar ice caps melt? What if strip mining destroys all the forests? What if I have bad breath and underarm odor? WHAT IF???!!!
We live in a culture of fear. Fear is used as a tool to get page views, TV program viewers, advertiser dollars, and most of all to get you to buy things.
“If you use body lotion on your face, the skin of your face will become…” What will it become? Skin?
“If you do not buy this home security system, burglars will choose your house instead of your neighbor’s house…” According to whose statistics? And you think thieves are really afraid of a cardboard sign and some rent-a-cops?
“If you eat a conventional apple instead of an organic apple, you will get cancer and die!” Nope. No you won’t.
“If I let my child go anywhere or do anything by himself, he will get abducted and/or ruin his own prospects for his future…” If you never let your child learn independence, and street smarts, and how to manage himself, you might end up with an adult child depending on you.
“If I wear the wrong shoes to this wedding, everyone will think I am a dork and that I don’t have any money to buy shoes…” So what? So what if they think you’re a dork with no money? If that’s all they have to think about, you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd.
The culture of fear is not reality. Reality is much higher, bigger, and more interesting than the culture of fear. If you’re tired of living in the shadows of all the what ifs, the only sustainable and effective option you have is to distance yourself from the what ifs and explore reality. Get to know yourself, get to know your soul and its Creator, and illuminate your corner of the world. Self-defense and activism certainly can help you to feel more secure — I’m not telling you to stick your head in the sand and become a defenseless victim — but you have to see them as part of a bigger picture. Do your part, and recognize what you do and do not have control over.
Exercise: Choose one “what if” that’s dogging you right now. Spend five minutes writing about why it scares you. Then spend another five minutes writing about why it is something you do not have control over. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Sign up now for your FREE MyMLC account and get access to a variety of resources, including a daily journal, to record the growth and progress of your daily soul workouts and meaningful journey.
Go deeper into this subject: Overcoming Fear, Strength In the Face of Fear, What Are You Afraid Of?, Fear Is Really About Loneliness
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Coronavirus: How Should We React?
Wednesday, March 18, 2020 @8:30pm
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Tags: fear, reality, control
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 1 Comment »
February 23rd, 2017
Whenever we go through a slump — whether it is from boredom, failure, or depression — we’re forgetting how to live a meaningful life. A trap we fall into is thinking that someone or something outside of ourselves can give our lives meaning.
We think things like this:
- If I had enough money to do the things that I find meaningful, then I could lead a meaningful life. Since I don’t have enough money to do those things, my life has no meaning.
- I’m single and I won’t have a meaningful life until I am in a long-term relationship. I have to find love before I can be happy.
- My job is stopping me from leading a meaningful life because it is boring. I want a more glamorous job. It seems like I live to work.
- I am stuck with my habits. I can’t change. I have to continue leading an unfulfilling life because I can’t change my ways.
- I’m fat. I won’t have a meaningful life until I lose weight.
Those are limiting beliefs, aren’t they? Who would want to live with those kind of beliefs?
We each have our “if only” scenario. Look at your limiting beliefs now. If you’re not sure what they are, think of the goals you have that you are not reaching. Nobody can ever achieve all of their goals — if someone could, he would be aiming too low. Goals are neverending. What matters is the present, and the talents and gifts that we bring to it. What matters is where we can contribute and influence now. Focusing on our contributions and the use of our innate talents is how to live a meaningful life. It is how we can transcend all limits.
How can we transcend our “if only” beliefs?
Your essence and your strength come from a power greater than yourself. At any moment a rich man can lose his material wealth; a beautiful woman can lose her physical beauty. However, the soul is connected to a transcendent and infinite power.
Your external limitations fade when you get busy fulfilling your purpose in life. Listen to the “still small voice” that speaks inside you when you remove external distractions from yourself. Tune in to your passions: What brings you wholesome joy? Where do you feel “at home” and useful? What gives you a lasting sense of satisfaction? Take the call of your soul and pursue it — it will sublimate your limiting beliefs. That is the foundation of how to live a meaningful life.
Exercise: List a few of your limiting beliefs. Journal about how you can use your true self to transcend them. Record your answer in MyMLC.
Sign up now for your FREE MyMLC account and get access to a variety of resources, including a daily journal, to record the growth and progress of your daily soul workouts and meaningful journey.
Go deeper into this subject: An Exercise to Find Out Who You Are, What It Means to Be Honest With Yourself, Beyond Virtue
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Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
No Class
Wednesday, April 1, 2026 @8:30pm
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Tags: marriage, work, money, soul, purpose of life, spiritual and material, transcendence, meaningful life, purpose in life, love
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 1 Comment »
February 23rd, 2017
When someone has insulted you or gossiped about you, it is human nature to hold a grudge against that person. Friends may borrow money from you and not pay it back; coworkers may “throw you under the bus” so that they can look better to the boss. Who among us has not been embarrassed in public by someone, and fantasized about humiliating that person in front of a crowd at the next available opportunity?
If you are holding a grudge, know that you don’t have to. It’s not easy to let go of the resentment, but it’s within the boundaries of what humans are spiritually and emotionally capable of. You’ll have to train your mind not to hold grudges, and with enough practice it will become second-nature. Like a practiced tennis player standing at the base line, you’ll be ready to automatically dismiss negative thoughts about other people as soon as they come up.
Important qualification: The grudges we are referring to here are against people who have committed non-violent interpersonal insults and slights. We’re not addressing grievances related to serious abuse, such as child abuse, sexual abuse, and spousal abuse. In those cases, please protect yourself and stay safe. Call the appropriate professionals and authorities. Do whatever you must do to ensure that this person does not abuse you — or anyone else — again. Please see our extensive content about healing from abuse.
A few things to keep in mind:
Your mind is powerful: The reflective mind can control the impulsive spirit of the heart. Allow your thoughts to precede and guide your feelings. Although you cannot control which thoughts pop into your mind, you certainly can decide which ones to hold on to. When an angry or otherwise negative thought about someone pops up in your mind, you don’t have to receive it willingly. When the “negative thought committee” bangs on your mind’s door voicing a grievance, the Kabbalists suggest saying to it: “I’m listening to what you say. But I don’t have time for you now. I have other things to do.”
Do something counterintuitive: Do the exact opposite of what you feel like doing to your offending friend or acquaintance. Behave toward him or her with increasing affection. Tolerate him or her to the farthest extreme. Even though he did wrong and is responsible for his actions, which would naturally merit a negative reaction, you can transform your own negative feelings by behaving counterintuitively. When we do the unexpected, and go against our natural inclination to reciprocate against someone who has hurt us, we shake things up and generate a new type of transformative energy.
The worst thing you can do is to pay someone back in kind: Letting go of a grudge is hard because naturally we want to get even. But are you going to become a petty person who retaliates for everything that happens to you? Do you really need someone to blame for your unhappiness? If you pay someone back in kind, your anger will grow. If you transcend it, you’ll transform yourself into a better person.
Anger has a natural antidote: The natural antidote to anger is believing in a power greater than yourself. How big is your world? If you are connected to transcendent energy, then your world is much bigger than what happens to you. Nor is your identity defined by what happens to you. Recognize that the incident that you’re angry about has a higher purpose.
Divide and conquer: The “negative committee” in your head will say to you, “If you can’t get rid of the whole grudge, don’t bother.” They are wrong. Divide and conquer your grudge. It is like untangling something. Step by step. Untangle that which is within your power, and then later untangle what’s left.
You decide who you rent space in your mind to: The name of the game is: Focus on yourself, not on the other person. Don’t let the offending person live for free in your mind! Your mind is valuable real estate! When you carry a grudge against someone and think about that person, you are in effect letting him or her continue to haunt and victimize you. When you focus on your own life — your purpose in life — then you won’t be consumed by grudges. Your dignity should kick in — you should want to maintain the power to direct your thoughts, not to let your thoughts be directed by someone who wronged you.
Always remember: you are not a victim. Even when you are boiling mad, you have the power to determine your destiny, and to be the better person.
Go deeper into this subject: Forgiveness Starts With Yourself, A Sincere Apology, Episode 7 MyLife: Chassidus Applied
Tags: anger, forgiveness
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | No Comments »
February 22nd, 2017
While loneliness manifests differently for each one of us, it is a universal experience. We all go through periods of loneliness. Even “successful,” “popular” and “active” people have bouts of loneliness. Why? Existential loneliness is part of being human. It is the general sense of feeling isolated and disconnected in a large universe. It’s the feeling that asks: “does anyone care about me?” Even the most extroverted among us go home alone at the end of the day. And just because loneliness is a universal experience doesn’t make it any less daunting. Feeling all alone is one of the most difficult experiences a person can have.
We are “social animals” and need others. There is no such thing as being so self-actualized that you only need food and air to sustain you. Alone, people can become fearful. Perhaps the worst part of pain and suffering is the feeling that we are alone in our suffering. As long as we feel that we are together with others, we can overcome anything. Yet, when we are in the midst of loneliness, it is hard to see both the universality of the experience and a way out. It is a conundrum — sometimes you need others to find the strength inside yourself. When loneliness has already got you down, here is how to muster up the strength to transcend it.
Help Other People
One way to repair an issue is to help someone else who has that issue. When you are lonely, find other lonely people and help them. You can’t necessarily tell that someone is lonely, but when you reach out to help him or her, he or she might open up to you. Whether you are offering support and advice, or you are lending a helping hand, just reach out to other people. Talk to your neighbors. Say hello to someone for no reason. We repair the world through baseless kindness.
Find Activities That Give You Satisfaction
When feeling lonely find activities that give you some measure of satisfaction. These activities serve like anchors of support. When you find joy in one thing, such as your children, a project you are doing, a hobby, a volunteer effort, your work, that joy will effect the other parts of your life. Like muscles strengthened in one part of your body, they strengthen the rest of the body, helping you muster up positive energy to cope with the difficulties in your life. The best defense is a good offense. Fill your life up with positive activities. Don’t allow a void or vacuum to develop in your life. The positive energy that those activities will produce will spill over into other areas of your life. Build something in your life that you feel proud of every day. That will help you develop confidence.
Never Give Up
Do not give up. Do not bury yourself in your own misery and wallow in your own loneliness. If people ignore or reject you, keep trying. If your usual contacts feed your misery, seek out new friends. Find individuals who are gems. They are all around us; sometimes we only have to crack the hard rock that surrounds them. Connecting with upbeat people strengthens us.
Exercise: Reach out to one new person today. Journal about how it felt to do that. What did you discover through the experience? Record your answer in MyMLC.
Sign up now for your FREE MyMLC account and get access to a variety of resources, including a daily journal, to record the growth and progress of your daily soul workouts and meaningful journey.
Go deeper into this subject: Loneliness, Episode 28 Mylife: Chassidus Applied
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Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
The Kabbalah of Existential Loneliness
Wednesday, April 10, 2024 @8:30pm
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Tags: loneliness, love your neighbor, ahavat yisrael, Life's Challenges
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Pain & Suffering | 11 Comments »
February 16th, 2017
We live in a world of intense distraction, where multitasking is de riguer. And the results have been predictable: We have trouble focusing and managing time. People who are the best time managers know how to focus, do what they do, and move on to the next task. When you do too many things at once, nothing gets done.
When we are unable to focus, we are lacking intention. What is “intention”? Intention is mentally giving direction to something — like determining the preferred outcome of a goal. Intention is knowing what you want from an activity; it is where the drive to focus and execute the activity stems from. You can’t focus without directing your attention to one thing intensely — one thing that you approach with purpose.
Having Small-Scale Intention
In order to have intention on a small scale, such as approaching a single task or project with direction and a goal in mind, you must define what you do accept in your process, and what you do not. Avoiding what is unnecessary is a key part of having intention. For example: If your intention is to ask your boss for a raise, you would go into the meeting with your boss prepared to sell your accomplishments to him or her. You would avoid bringing up conflicts with coworkers and your shortcomings as an employee. Another example of small-scale intention: Your intention is to send your child off to school in a peaceful way. You would approach your morning childcare routine with a clear picture of what a peaceful morning looks like. You would protect your morning routine from negativity and distractions.
Having Macro-Scale Intention
The principles discussed above are applicable to the scale of your entire life. Intention is the first link between knowing what you want your life to be like and actually living that life. (The second link, which follows intention, is action.) What is your vision for what you want in you life? What don’t you want? For example: If your intention is to have a happy, healthy marriage, you would set your mind on being loving, communicating well, being respectful, and having a shared life purpose. You would exclude any kind of abuse in your relationship. Another example: You want to be a good person. You would direct your thoughts on what it means to be a good person, and you would exclude negative activities that distract you from bringing out your fundamental goodness.
A hurdle that people encounter with “good” or “pure” intentions is that the desire to do something positive is there, but the results are thwarted by negative events. That’s why it is so vital to exclude what you don’t want when you’re trying to set and act on a positive intention. If you protect your intentions like you’d protect a small child from harm, you’ll be more likely to succeed at actualizing them.
Exercise: Choose an intention to set for today — either small-scale or macro-scale. Be conscious of protecting it. At the end of the day, reflect on your experience. Record your answer in MyMLC.
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Go deeper into this subject: How to Focus and Manage Time, Vayeira: To See the Divine, Nosso: When No Is Greater Than Yes
Tags: time management, intention, kavanah
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 1 Comment »
