April 12th, 2018
Have you ever met someone who gave you the creeps? How did you react? Inevitably, we all will encounter challenging experiences in our insolent world. How should we deal with the darker forces in life?
Would you be surprised to know that Moses, in this week’s Torah portion, was faced with this dilemma?
This week’s column addresses this challenge, as part of the general mystery of existence. Indeed the mystery of life actually divides into three elements: The mystery of creation, the mystery of unity and the mystery of evil.
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“These are the creeping things that creep on land which are [spiritually] impure to you: the weasel, the mouse, the ferret, the hedgehog, the chameleon, the lizard, the snail, and the mole… Do not defile yourselves with them, because it will make you spiritually insensitive… Do not defile your souls through any creeping creature that crawls on the ground. For I am the Lord Who brought you up from Egypt to be your G-d. Therefore, since I am holy, you must [also] remain holy.”
This week’s Torah portion (Leviticus 11:29-30;43-45)
“Moses found three things difficult, until G-d showed them to him with His finger: Menorah, HaChodesh (the new Moon) and Sherotzim (the creeping creatures forbidden to us).”
Talmud Menachot 29a
What disturbed Moses about the creeping creatures? It seems like an obvious commandment: As human beings created in the divine image, you are expected to be holy and not defile yourself by consuming slithery crawlers?
Commentaries explain, that Moses’ difficulty was that he could not recognize the “impure” crawlers. But this answer chalks up Moses’ dilemma to a technicality. One can think of many ways how Moses could have learned to identify these creatures without having to rely on G-d Himself showing them to him. Just at it was with the new moon and the menorah, clearly, Moses was troubled by something deeper – by a dilemma that could only be resolved through Divine intervention.
The Tzemach Tzedek in one short reference answers the question. At the end of his discourse explaining the difficulty Moses found in the new moon, the Tzemach Tzedek (Oh HaTorah Bo p. 2907) refers Moses’ difficulty with the “creepers” to the Talmud in Baba Metzia (61b).
The Talmud there asks why the verse (in this week’s portion) connects the prohibition of eating crawlers with the Egyptian exodus: Do not defile your souls through any creeping creature that crawls on the ground, for I am the Lord Who brought you up from Egypt to be your G-d.
The Talmud answers:
“G-d says: I Who distinguished [during the plague of the first born in Egypt] between the seed of the first born and the seed of those that were not first born, will exact retribution on those that will mix the innards of unclean fish with the innards of clean fish and sell them to an Israelite.”
And why, the Talmud continues, does the verse use an unusual expression “who brought you up [ha’maalah] from Egypt,” instead of the usual expression “who brought you out [ho’tzeiso] of Egypt”? Answer: G-d says:
“If the only reason I brought up Israel from Egypt was that they would not defile themselves with creeping creatures, it would have been sufficient.”
Hence, the expression “Who brought you up” – G-d lifted and exalted you to a higher standing, one in which you feel too dignified to defile yourself and stoop to the level of creeping creatures.
What is the meaning behind this cryptic Talmudic thought? What connection is there between the G-d recognizing the “innards” of fish and G-d distinguishing the first-born?! What is so important about the commandment of not consuming “sherotzim” (creeping creatures) that this would have been reason enough to take them out of Egypt – a statement not made about any other mitzva?! Is no other commandment, even the fundamental ten commandments, as important as this one?!
To understand this issue requires taking a step back and analyzing the different creatures on earth, which all symbolize various dimensions of experience.
“Sherotzim” – creeping creatures – are symbolic of the lowliest forces in life. Those experiences that do not have the ability to lift themselves above the face of the dust, and always remain hugging the ground upon which we tread.
Even when it comes to four legged animals, Ecclesiastics states that the “spirit of the animal descends downward,” animals, who walk on four, always face down to the earth. As one Rebbe once said, “an animal has never seen heaven.”
Whereas man walks upright and his “spirit ascends upwards.” He thus always yearns for more – as you “lift your eyes to heaven…you see who created you.”
Empirical observation demonstrates that animals live in the same habitats as they did 500 and 5000 years ago. They are not motivated to build better homes, develop technologies, and improve their standard of living. Man who looks upward, on the other hand, always aspires to improve his situation.
When the Tzemach Tzedek was a child he explained why he was able to climb to the top of a ladder, while his friends were not able. “As they climbed they kept looking down. When they saw how high they were, they were afraid to climb higher. I kept looking up. Seeing how low I was, it motivated me to climb ever higher.”
Obviously, every creature in existence plays an indispensable role in the balance of life. The creeping creatures help cleanse, plow and fertilize the earth, besides the many other benefits that they provide. Yet, at the same time that these creatures are meant to remain below, man is meant to feel his special dignity as one walks upright and is always looking to the stars.
No wonder we call a chilling feeling “having the creeps.” And we describe certain lowlifes as “creeps” who give us the “creeps.” Not always is this justified, but at times man can fall to a level of behaving like a creep, slithering beneath us, disconcerting and disturbing our peace of mind.
When Moses heard the commandment to refrain from consuming “creeping creatures,” he was disturbed not by the fact that were “creeps” in the world; what troubled him was how are we humans meant to interact with these lowliest of forces and remain intact.
Ostensibly, it would make more sense that we just ignore the “creepers” and focus our efforts on reaching spiritual heights. Allow them to live in their earthy plane, invisible to us as we thrive in our world between – and bridging – heaven and earth. But once Moses heard that the Torah identifies and commands us to identify the “creepers” and refrain from defiling ourselves through them, he was greatly disturbed, because this meant that Torah was creating a relationship – albeit one of refrain, but still a relationship – between us humans with these creepy creatures. Indeed, the commandment itself implies that people may have the temptation to consume the “creepers.” Moses, in his lofty state, perhaps felt that no man would stoop to that level, and now he hears that it is altogether possible. Hence, the need for the commandment.
It was therefore necessary that G-d Himself “point” and show Moses the mystery of the “creepers” – These are the creeping things that creep on land which are [spiritually] impure to you – that even they are part of the Divine plan. And despite their lowly state, or rather precisely in their lowly state, they express the ultimate Divine omnipresence, that “there is nothing devoid of Him” (see Shemos Rabba 10:1).
As the mystics explain:
“The higher the level, the lower it falls.”
The lowly “creepers,” precisely because they descend into the depths and conceal the Divine, are spiritually rooted in the highest of levels; because only those levels could give birth to such lowly creatures. Only G-d can therefore reveal their power to Moses, by showing him how these creatures, by refraining from consuming them, can reveal profound dimensions.
This is also the deeper meaning in the Talmud: Only G-d Himself can discern the power within the “creepers,” as He did with the first-born of Egypt (“the depraved of the land”). Only G-d Himself – “not through an angel, not through a seraph, not through a messenger… I and none other” (as we recited at the Passover Seder) – can free us from the dark abyss called Egypt. So too, only G-d’s essence, can reveal the Divine within the lowly “creepers” and empower us with that ability.
And therefore, this power derived from the Divine essence – to elevate us and “bring us up” from the depravity of Egypt – is expressed more than anywhere else in the commandments of the “sherotzim,” in which human dignity is starkly distinguished from the lowly “creepers” of the earth. (1)
All the commandments in the Torah teach us how to be lofty human beings, to allow spirit to transcend over matter (see Tanya chapter 32). But some mitzvot focus on the lofty and teach us how to cultivate our faith and love. Others educate us how to avoid various temptations of the material universe.
But only the commandment of “sherotzim” teaches us that we can enter the “lowest” of worlds and face the darkest forces and still maintain our dignity and spiritual integrity. We don’t have to ignore the earthy creatures; we engage them, identify them, and actually use them as a study in contrast, to not defile ourselves and lift ourselves to higher places, distinguishing us from the creeping creatures of the earth.
Of all the mitzvoth in the Torah only the commandment to refrain from the “creepers” expresses by contrast the ultimate dignity and exalted state achieved through the exodus from Egypt (For I am the Lord Who (lifted you out of) brought you up from Egypt to be your G-d) – that despite the fact that we live in and interact with the lowly forces of the world (creepers) we choose to live refined lives, with our eyes to heaven, elevating and sanctifying our environments and even the earth itself.
Thus the three things that disturbed Moses cover the spectrum of the mysteries of existence, which divide into three categories: (2)
1) The mystery of creation: How a new birthing takes place (the new moon).
2) The mystery of unity: How the endless multiplicity of the universe can co-exist and be integrated with the indivisibility of the Divine. How the finite mundane can fuse with the infinite spirit. How the material can be a source of light (the Menorah).
3) The mystery of evil: How we can survive – and thrive – amidst the lowest forces that “creep” on the earth.
To address these three quandaries the Divine “finger” (G-d Himself) “pointed” and showed Moses the new moon (the secret of birthing), the Menorah (unity) and the “sherotzim” (darkness).
Once these secrets were revealed to Moses, the doors were opened to benefit us all. Through Moses we too are empowered in these three areas: To experience new birthings (see The New Moon); to reveal unity and illuminate the universe (see Menorah); and – what concerns us this week – how to deal with the creepy experiences in our lives.
Inevitably, we will all have encounter dark moments in our lives. We will meet and be challenged by more difficult people and experiences. It would be nice if we were able to avoid or escape these unpleasant times. But that is not possible in our world. So the only two options are: Will we be overcome by these challenges or will we grow through them?
Know that you were not the first to be troubled by this dilemma. Many years ago a man named Moses confronted the first creeps, and he had a remarkable encounter that changed history forever.
He learned that the lowliest of creatures helps us appreciate the Divine and facilitates our growth by propelling us to rise to unprecedented dignified heights.
We too can use the difficult challenges in our lives as springboards to celebrate and express our own majesty, and in the process elevate our entire universe.
May our creepy creatures feel redeemed.
(1) This perhaps can also explain why the Talmud emphasizes that the episode took place in “Sura of Euphrates” (the city of Sura that sits on the bank of the Euphrates River): The Euphrates, like the “creeping creatures,” embodies paradox; the highest and lowest of levels – see The River Euphrates.
(2) See Gur Aryeh Leviticus 11:2, that these three difficulties all reflect dimensions that are outside of the normal realm of existence.
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Question of the Week: How do you deal with a difficult person in your life who you can’t avoid?
Tags: animals, kosher
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Soul & Mystical, Vayikra, Shemini, Religion, Personal Life, Nature, Spiritual, Torah, Food & Eating | 12 Comments »
April 11th, 2018
Are you aware of your communication skills? Do you know how others hear you? How often do you express an opinion, only to be misunderstood, or to be met with an angry or hurt reaction? Do you find that you often can’t get through to others? Do you offend people more than you think you should? Do people tell you that the way that you speak is arrogant or condescending? Though habits of speech are deeply ingrained, you can change them. The following three approaches can help you infuse the way you speak with sensitivity and humility — with practice, you can reach and influence others.
Transcend Yourself
When you have a strong opinion about a given manner, it’s easy to speak arrogantly. The smarter you are, the more powerful your resolve, the more convinced you are in the righteousness of your position, the greater the care that needs to be taken to communicate with sensitivity and not hurt others in the process. There are ways to communicate, even if you disagree with someone entirely, without offending. What is offensive is the lack of respect of the sacred space of another human being, including their opinions. Every person is entitled to their opinion.
This may be the greatest secret to a healthy relationship or marriage: Your ability to transcend your own strong position and certainty. Look into your passionate heart and learn the art of restraint: That ultimate greatness is measured not by how right you are and by how great is your light, but by how you allowed that greatness to be contained and integrated into other people’s lives — wow well you listened to others and not just spoke to them.
Humility = Effective Communication
Self-actualization, self-expression is an integral part of the life mission that we each have. At the same time, there’s a responsibility in what that mission entails. It’s not just a free-for-all for you to express your voice and ego; self-expression should come with great humility knowing that you were blessed with the power to illuminate a deeper insight into life, into the human condition. When we speak, we create. We extend ourselves beyond the reality of our own existence to recreate ourselves and our vision of reality in the minds, hearts, and deeds of others.
Humility is the key to true and effective communication. Whether one is an artist or a therapist, a spouse or a parent, humility is what allows your words and expressions to reach the heart of another. This is especially true when it comes to people in whom we entrust our confidence, like therapists, mentors and parents. Without humility the communicator can become manipulative and abusive. When vulnerability is exposed, it is absolutely crucial that the person we trust be humble and sensitive.
That doesn’t mean that you must tolerate inappropriate behavior and can’t criticize. It means that the critique will be constructive and saturated with love and humility. And the person being criticized will feel that you really have their welfare in mind. Whereas if the critique is coming from an arrogant place, the communication will come across as angry and judgmental.
Don’t Make It About You
True speaking is listening. It is not about you (the speaker and teacher); it is about the truth, the knowledge, and about the people you are speaking to.
Words from the heart enter the heart. Words that come only from the mouth or even the mind, enter one ear and out the other.
True, there are speakers we listen to for their brilliance, for their advice on medical, financial, or other issues. Though they may be arrogant speakers, we still listen to what they have to say, because we want their information. In exchange for their “goods” we may be willing to tolerate their egos and even obnoxiousness (not for long, and sometimes not even for a moment). But even then, no true communication has taken place; only (at best) a transactional imparting of information.
This may be true regarding cold facts and hard information. But when it comes to communicating truth, emotional and spiritual tools to help people live better lives, then ego, arrogance and the likes, all block the way for healthy communication.
Exercise: Think of a time when the way you spoke received an unpleasant reaction. Look for arrogance in it. How would you use the concepts discussed in this Soul Workout to do it differently? Write about it in your MyMLC journal.
Go deeper into this subject: Crime of Passion | Art, Religion, and Democracy | Eliezer’s Story | The Art of Communication |
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March 28th, 2018
When life becomes messy, how can you take charge of it? The task seems daunting — there are usually multiple factors that all intersect with each other, creating dissonance and a sense of fragmentation. But, as big as the task of taking charge of your life can seem, three basic practices lay the foundation for doing so.
Control Comes from Action
Taking charge of your life comes through action. To be pro-active means to be active — making a move. That move may be getting out of a situation that’s unhealthy, meeting a new friend, going to a new class, reading a new book, whatever it takes — anything you can do that is different. It’s the emotions that trap us in a rut, in unhealthy habits. Breaking habits requires, first and foremost, taking action. Making a change.
If you find yourself in a state of despair where it’s so dark that you think that there’s no way out, you may need to ask a friend or mentor to “kick you in the pants.” Ask for help and advice — doing so is a form of action in itself. A fresh set of eyes and a fresh approach can help — but, of course, only if you take action.
Examine Your Life
Where is your mind? What do you focus your thoughts on? The key, internally, to taking charge of your life is to examine it. Where are you headed? What are your objectives? What is your personal mission statement? Consider practical things that force you to take a look at yourself and not just go through the motions of your life.
Thoreau writes, “Most people live a life of quiet desperation.” Are we ready to just resign ourselves to just being an observer in life? To do damage control? To do the least and play it safe?
If you are having trouble examining your life, look carefully at why: Often it’s the result of fear, which paralyzes us and doesn’t allow us to look at ourselves. Are you afraid to be honest with yourself?
And Celebrate Life
Life is full of variables and ups and downs, tension and resolution. The key is to be able to look at life and embrace it — to celebrate it. Celebrating life means that you wake up in the morning and say, “I’m really excited about this life. I’m not looking over my shoulder all the time wondering who’s going to hit me next, or where the next curve ball will come from.”
Part of taking charge of your life is simply to accept imperfection and to learn to take life as it comes. How do you respond to the natural ebb and flow of life? Are you flexible and adaptable, or do small changes and transitions throw you off? Sometimes control means letting go — not to the extent that you are irresponsible, but by being able to ride the waves of life like a skilled surfer on the ocean.
Exercise: Think of an area of your life that you’d like to take charge of, and plan how you could use the three principle above to clean it up. Write about it in your MyMLC journal.
Go deeper into this subject: Your Seven Emotions | How to Free Yourself from Your Problems | How to Stop Repeating Your Mistakes | What to Do When Things Fall Apart | Joy Amidst Turmoil | Taking Responsibility for the World
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March 21st, 2018
Do your problems define you? Do you find that regardless of the amount of willpower you exert, you can’t shake them? Or, are you so “stuck” that you’ve stopped trying to get rid of your problems and have given up? Have your problems caused you to lose respect for yourself? There is a four-part path to freedom from your problem or problems.
First: Get Out of the Immediate Line of Fire
As long as you remain in a problematic situation, in range of a force that is hurting you, you cannot begin the journey toward freedom. The first step away from the immediate cause of your suffering is only a first step, but it is critical: You must move away from the danger zone and destructive forces. Only by “stopping the bleeding” can healing begin.
This step is often the hardest of them all, because after protracted years of pain you can become resigned and even accustomed to the problem, to the point that it becomes so much part of your life and your being that it is hard to recognize the “enemy,” or even acknowledge that there is an “enemy” (otherwise known as denial).
Second: Break the Psychological Hold
After you are no longer in the actual destructive situation, you must be delivered from the hold of the oppressive force. Even after you’ve distanced yourself from the problem, it may still have a psychological hold on you — after all, it became an ingrained habit of thought, speech, and action. A mental and emotional breakthrough will be necessary, as will be ongoing vigilance against letting the problem back into your life.
Third: Establish Security
Finally you get out of “prison,” but the problem (or a similar one) is still lurking. At this stage you need to create boundaries that will protect you from further involvement with it. Are you good at setting boundaries? What has stopped you from protecting yourself from this problem in the past? Now is the time to learn how to establish boundaries.
You’ll also want to find the support of other people who have overcome a similar problem, or who have never had the problem at all. Spending time with “safe” and inspiring people who bolster your sense of self is crucial to establishing your own security from your problem so that you can truly leave it behind.
Fourth: Discover Who You Are Outside of Your Problems
The first three phases were all about distancing yourself from your problem. But you still are not free until you discover who you are. Freedom is not merely the absence of slavery – getting away from the past and escaping the negative. True freedom is a state of being on its own – the ability to be true to yourself, your true self, and live up to your inner calling and spiritual destiny. You want to build your life in a way that stands for something great (not against something), and a life that will never again allow you to be enslaved, exploited, or constricted in the first place.
Exercise: Consider a problem that dogs you, and envision carrying out the four-step path to freedom from it described above. Write about it in your MyMLC journal.
Go deeper into this subject: Four Steps to Freedom | How to Feel Secure in a Climate of Fear | Four Things to Do When Therapy Isn’t Working | You Can Suffer Without Becoming a Sufferer | How to Relieve Your Emotional Pain | Are You Battle Weary? Transcending Life’s Struggles | Sweetening Severities: How to Deal with Difficulty |
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March 15th, 2018
Does serving God mean that you have to sacrifice your life for God? Is it conforming to be someone you’re not? Obliterating your personality?
If this sounds unappealing, it’s no wonder: it’s not only wrong, it’s anathema to the very fundamentals of Judaism. In the third book of the Bible called Vayikra (Leviticus), we learn the quintessential approach to how each and every one of us can and should serve God. But rather than presenting a serene picture of spiritual reverie the book of Vayikra reflects a subject that is more likely to evoke confusion (even revulsion for some) than sublimity! In this Book, we enter the bloody world of the great altar in the Holy Temple (Beis HaMikdash) where the Jewish people brought animal sacrifices to Jerusalem to atone for their sins. What possible connection could this slaughter of ox and sheep have to do with establishing a fulfilling relationship with God?
The Ramban, a classical Torah commentator, tells us (Leviticus 1:9) that when a person had to bring a korban (animal sacrifice) to be offered in the Beis HaMikdash, “a person had to envision that what was happening to the animal should have been happening to him or her.” Since it is we who need to be cleansed of our wrongdoings—a cleansing of our blood, our flesh, and our fat—God in His great mercy gave us an alternative: we could replace ourselves with an animal, an animal that would endure this process in our stead.
The Torah is not a lesson in ancient history; its every word is eternal and relevant to each one of us in every day and age. In a Temple-less world, we need to look a little deeper into Torah to discover the relationship of these sacrifices to our contemporary lives.
There are two polar forces within each of us: a force that desires material pleasures and a force that yearns for spirituality and Godliness. Simply put, our search for purpose, for meaning, for serving God are at constant odds with “the animal” in us: the part of us that would rather indulge our selfish passions than contribute our time and resources to a higher cause. The centrality of the animal offerings in the Temple reflects the essence of our Divine purpose: To submit the animal within us to God.
Now, when we read how a person brought a sacrifice upon the altar: “Adam ki yakriv mikem…,” we find a curious twist of words. Instead of saying, “When one of you will bring an offering,” the literal translation is, “When a person will bring an offering of you.” The “of you” tells us that by bringing an animal to be sacrificed on the altar, we are actually bringing to the altar the animal in us.
Offering yourself, the animal in you, to God is the cornerstone of all Judaism, but how is this accomplished? Do you crush the animal passion and pleasure in you and live a somber life of deprivation and misery? The answer lies in the derivation of the word korban. While korban is often translated as “sacrifice,” the actual translation of the word comes from the root word kiruv, meaning “to draw close.”
We make ourselves a korban by “bringing close” the pure essence of the animal in us to God. We don’t annihilate it, we don’t squash it, we use it to help us approach Divinity, to transcend our limits and get closer to the quintessential purpose for which we were created. An animal cannot behave in any way other than how G-d created it. Bulls are aggressive, sheep are slothfully self-indulgent, and goats are stubborn. But the animal in us has a choice. We can be an obnoxious “bully,” or we can channel our passions toward an assertive love for God. We can indulge in our sheep like lust for pleasure, or we can get pleasure in helping others and living a meaningful life.
At the heart of every force in our lives, even the ones that manifest negative expression, lies a kernel that can be directed to a constructive and Godly cause. What we do “sacrifice” is the object of our desires, the immature or narrow attitudes we assume, our ignorance and our blind spots—so that our essential natures can emerge, just as you sacrifice the weeds to allow the flowers to surface.
Should we “give up” our lives for God? Certainly not! That’s sacrifice. We shouldn’t give up our God-given talents and behaviors; we should bring them closer to their purer state. When you become a korban, you have the opportunity to transform every aspect of yourself, to become the greatest person you can be; a person who no longer walks among the beasts, but hand and hand with God.
The story of the korban in the book of Vayikra teaches us that serving God is not about self-annihilation but about self-actualization.
Giving Up Your Life for God? No Thanks!
By Simon Jacobson.
Tags: sacrifices and offerings, Ramban, self-discovery, purpose of life
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March 14th, 2018
Some mistakenly think that confidence is something you either have or don’t have. That is not true. Every one of us can build and grow confidence. Even if you feel insecure and lack self-confidence, it is possible to work on yourself to acquire it. You are not damaged goods. In fact, you have unlimited and unknown potential deep inside yourself. Access your inner confidence with these six techniques.
1. Develop Awareness of Your Soul
Your soul is absolutely secure and brimming with self esteem. But life in this insecure world — experiences that hurt us — can conceal and disconnect you from your soul and its inherent confidence, and leave you feeling fearful and threatened in a hostile world. To access your secure soul you need to connect to the soul; to be aware of it. The deeper your awareness, the more profound your confidence will manifest. You must become confident with confidence, so to speak; confident with your own inner soul confidence. To achieve that you need to have a relationship with your soul. By communing with your soul – through study, prayer and good deeds – you can glean energy from the soul’s inherent confidence.
2. Shift Your Routines
Sometimes when we cannot access the inner resources that lay beneath the surface, we need to scrape away the outer crusts that conceal the energy within. Psychologically this is called behavioral change: external change brings internal change. Shift your routines and this will in turn shift your inner moorings. Shift breeds shift. Change your habits.
3. Fake It ‘Til You Make It
One way to create such a shift is to “fake” it — to project and believe in the possibility even when you are not in the mood. To act confident even when you may not feel that way. You’re not being a liar; you are transcending how you feel and transcending your limiting beliefs, which in turn free up your inner strengths.
4. Seek Support
Peer support is also an important factor in gaining confidence. Beginning from early childhood, the support we get from our parents (and also the lack of it) directly affects our level of self-confidence. When a child is acknowledged and encouraged, assured and complimented, the child builds courage and learns to trust him/herself. As a child explores it’s surroundingd, observe how s/he looks for affirmation from parents and adults. Even if your childhood resulted in a lack of confidence, there is always hope. Find supportive friends and mentors who can support you in making your unique contribution to the world.
5. Be Around Confident People
Another powerful way to behaviorally build self-confidence is to be around confident people. Confidence is contagious. Spending time with secure people will always nurture your soul’s inner confidence, just as hanging around insecure people will always feed your insecurities.
6. Make Other People Feel Confident
It’s a mirror image: Confidence breeds confidence; security feeds security. You usually make others feel as you are; you project what you are and you are what you project. Confident and secure people make others feel the same. Insecure people make others feel insecure. Help others feel confident, and it will come back and bring you confidence in return.
Exercise: Identify an area of your life where you lack confidence. Begin to implement the six methods described in this article. Reflect on it in your free MyMLC journal.
Go deeper into this subject: Confidence | The Antidote to Rage: Inner Security | Doubt: The Silent Killer | MyLife: Chassidus Applied Episode 111 | Whatever
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March 8th, 2018
A key element in every relationship is compatibility between the two parties. Beginning from the dating process — and then following in marriage — issues of compatibility can make or break relationships. The word “compatible” gets thrown around a lot in discussions about whether relationships should continue or end. But how do we define compatibility? How many types of compatibility are there? Are all types necessary to sustain a relationship?
Here are four primary types of compatibility, and all of them are necessary for healthy love. However, the first three are subject to change, while the fourth type of compatibility is the one that truly cements relationships for the long haul — it is the eternal element that keeps couples together when their looks and interests change.
Physical Compatibility
Though it may sound superficial, physical compatibility — physical attraction to one another — is necessary for a relationship to take hold and be maintained. You need to be attracted to your partner, and certainly not be repulsed. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and physical compatibility is clearly based on a subjective set of preferences. Nevertheless it is an important component in a relationship.
Emotional Compatibility
You can be attracted to someone physically, but if emotionally there is no connection, the relationship cannot endure. This happens very often: People look beautiful on paper or in real life, but when you meet and talk to them, you don’t feel anything — there is no “click”. Every healthy relationship needs a feeling of trust and commonality, as well as emotional nurturing.
Intellectual Compatibility
Intellectual compatibility is two people who respect each other’s intelligence. They share and are stimulated by each others ideas and/or shared intellectual interests. They value each other’s opinion and thoughts. They find each other’s conversation interesting.
Eternal Compatibility: The Shared Vision
Not to diminish the importance of the first three types of compatibility, there is a fourth element of compatibility which infuses and lifts a relationship to another dimension — and actually turns it into an eternal relationship.
It is called spiritual compatibility: Two people who share a vision and a mission — a vision that transcends each of their needs and the day to day changes of everyday life. They ask themselves: what transcendent vision do we share in how we would like to contribute to the greater good? What mark in the world do we want to make? What kind of home do we want build together? How do we want to raise our children, and how do we want them to shape the world they will grow up in? When people come into your environment, what kind of feeling do you want to give them? What legacy are you leaving?
In contrast to the first three compatibility types, which are all subject to change (due to age, changes in our needs and interests, maturity) this fourth one lasts a lifetime and more. No matter what changes a person goes through in life — physical, emotional, intellectual — a vision does not change. Your vision and mission can take on different shapes and forms. Your fundamental personality — your essence, your personal mission — does not change. You discover new ways of manifesting your mission in life, but your essential calling and your key talents don’t change. When two people find a partnership on that level then their relationship is able to evolve throughout life.
Tags: love, marriage, soul mate, dating, soulmate, Lasting Love
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Love & Marriage | 10 Comments »
March 8th, 2018
This is a continuation of Money and Spirituality Part One, which discussed the paradox of money in light of the Golden Calf. This, the second part of this series, discusses the uses and abuses of wealth in the context of financial contributions made to the Temple.
WHAT IS WEALTH AND MONEY?
A significant insight into the Torah’s attitude toward wealth is illustrated in the incident in which Korach and his cohorts mutiny against Moses and the hierarchy. They challenged the class system and Moses and Aaron’s leadership and authority demanding: “Why did you empower yourselves when the entire nation is holy.” One can say that this was the first documented instance of rebellion against class struggle. [7] The Bible relates that they were duly punished. In all other incidences of wrongdoing, the individual was punished, however, here, since their wealth and status drove their rebellion, they and their belongings were consumed by the earth: “they and their houses, along with all the men who were with Korach and their property,” “they, along with their houses, their tents, and all the substance that was at their feet.”
Torah does not as a result categorically reject the value of wealth and repeal mans’ right to private property. Nor does it revoke the distinctions of classes (as Korach argued), and its inevitable result: class struggle. Torah retains all that, despite the risks involved.
But what is the Torah’s answer to Korach’s contentions that all the people are equal?
For this we need to explore the very nature and root of wealth.
In explaining the abovementioned verse “All the substance (yekum) that was at their feet,” [8] the Talmud states: [9] “this is mans’ wealth, [10] which firmly puts (establishes) him on his feet.” [11]
Clearly, the Talmud sees wealth as a virtue: It establishes a person. [12] However, it seems strange that a verse relating the destruction caused by wealth (how Dathan and Aviram, along with their wealth, are consumed by the earth as a result of their selfish greed) should be the Talmudic source in describing the positive virtue of wealth! If anything, this verse teaches us the vices of wealth and its ill effects!
Perhaps this can be understood by analyzing the precise choice of words used in the sentence: If the verse wants to tell us that their wealth was consumed along with them, why does the verse not just say: “with all their wealth” (as the Bible actually states earlier when this incident is first related [13] ) rather than the cryptic “all that exists that were at their feet”?! Even if we are to understand “kol ha’yekum” as “all their wealth/property,” why add: “that were at their feet”?! And why the word “feet” instead of “in their possession” or the like?
The Talmud is teaching us the dual nature of wealth. In this material world wealth is the foundation upon which all rests. Yet, like a foundation, it rests below, at the feet of the structure, holding it up, like the feet that carry the body. Wealth and money, like feet, are not the mind nor heart, they are the lowest part of the body that touch the ground. Feet are means, not the end. They carry the body, but do not dictate where the body is to be carried. The mind does that, and the feet follow the mind’s instructions. Yet, without feet, a mind alone – indeed, the entire body – cannot move. In this material world, the feet are crucial for transportation- they are the vehicle which carry a person to his desired destination.
Wealth, which establishes man on his feet, is only a means to fulfill a higher goal, to realize a greater purpose. When wealth becomes an end unto itself, it consumes man and becomes a “land that consumes its inhabitants.” [14] This is precisely what happens to Dathan and Aviram: their selfish use of wealth – earthiness – consumed them and all their wealth “that lay at their feet” touching the very ground. When wealth itself becomes more important than the goal, it can cause a person to stand upright in arrogance, [15] where his feet and wealth are more important than the destination, Ultimately such a person will be consumed by the very wealth he worships. [16]
But when wealth is used as a means for a greater good, it becomes the feet and foundation that establish a man and society, lifting and carrying him to great heights. Like the feet that are essential to lift and carry a person, with all his higher faculties, to places he could not have reached to on his own.
The power of wealth as a foundation causes it to have such a powerful impact on man [17] and society. “Odom bohul al momono,” [18] man is excited when his wealth is at stake. Man is consumed by acquiring wealth. Wealth, like feet, is the lowest entity, but can lift one to the greatest heights. It can bring man down to the lowest depths, or it can be a vehicle to extraordinary achievement.
Despite Korach, Dathan and Aviram’s blatant abuse of wealth, the Torah does not fear its inherent risks. When understood in context, and spelling out the dangers and actual destructive consequences of individual wealth, the Torah has confidence in man to use his wealth accordingly. The Korach episode teaches us the risks of self-absorbed materialistic abuse, and its subsequent effect of consuming the very perpetrators; yet, at the same time, this is due to mans’ weakness, not the fault of the wealth per se, which still lies on the ground, waiting to lift man to great heights.
So too regarding the class system. Despite Korach’s strong and persuasive argument against social classes, and his legitimate reason for rebellion (testified by the fact that Moses reckoned with him and needed to prove that Korach was wrong, and the Torah documents for posterity the entire episode, including Korach’s argument, indicating its timeless relevance) due to the inevitable class struggle that would ensue as a result of class distinctions, nevertheless the Torah maintains and validates with even more adamance the class system and hierarchy, as subsequently related in the Bible.
The Torah is sensitive to and respects the inherent diversity in existence and in society, [19] and thus teaches us to align ourselves (rather than battle) with our base diversity, and channel it to a higher goal. [20]
[Here is not the place, but a comprehensive study deserves to be made in the parallels between Korach’s rebellion and that of socialist thought. Much can be derived from Korach’s story teaching us about the nature of class diversity and struggle, the nature of leadership and its relationship with the mass population.]
Wealth, in effect, reflects this inherent diversity, which is the foundation that establishes man on his feet.
This is the Talmud’s inimitable method of defining wealth for us, in brief, succinct terms, when analyzed offer profound meaning, with far-reaching implications. [21]
Continue Reading the Money and Spirituality Series – Part 3.
[6] Numbers 16:3. Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, Likkutei Sichos vol. 8 pp. 102. Vol. 18 p. 191.
[7] Cain’s murder of Abel can also be classified as a challenge of hierarchy, though not as pronounced as Korach’s rebellion (see Shaloh and Tzeidah L’Derech Parshat Korach: Korach reincarnate of Cain). The insurgence of the Tower of Babel generation was against G-d, which also connotes a challenge to hierarchy. Interestingly, that was resolved by creating a fundamental distinction through the confusion of languages, essentially marking the birth of national and cultural diversity.
[9] Pesachim 119a. Sanhedrin 110a. Midrash Rabba, Bamidbar 18:13; Kohelet 6:3; See Bereishit Rabba 32:5, and Maharza”v commentary. Rashi Deuteronomy ibid.
[10] ‘Yekum’ in Hebrew can also be translated “living things” (Radak, Sherashim, as in Genesis 6:23) or “existence” (see Midrash Rabba ibid). This can be reconciled with the Talmud’s ‘wealth,’ according to the explanation below that the spiritual power of wealth encompasses all of existence, all living things.
[11] Because it delights mans’ heart (Rashi Pesachim ibid).
[12] See Tzeidah L’Derech (commentary on Rashi) ibid, explaining the Talmud’s equating poverty with death (Talmud, Baba Batra 116a). A corpse falls to the ground, unable to stand on its feet. Wealth gives life that puts man on his feet.
[15] Panim Yafot (R’ Pinchas Horowitz, the Baal Hafloah) explains (Numbers 16:32. Deuteronomy ibid) that their wealth “placed them on their feet,” it caused them to stand in an upright posture and arrogant defiance toward the G-dly man, Moses.
[16] See Marx’s description of money cited below, as a force that creates “universal confusion and exchange of all things, an inverted world.”
[17] See Talmud, Berochos 57b: Beautiful home, beautiful furnishings…expand mans’ mind (daat).
[18] Talmud Shabbos 117b. Pesachim 10a.
[19] G-d divided the world with boundaries – Rashi Numbers 16:5. See Likkutei Sichos vol. 18 pp. 204.
[20] See Likkutei Sichos vol. 33 p. 243.
[21] Interesting to note, that the beauty of the original Hebrew verse as explained by the Talmud, is entirely lost in the King James translation, “all the substance in their possession.”
Tags: corruption, wealth, tools, honor, work, money
Posted in Weekly Parsha, Good & Evil, Shmot, Beliefs & Concepts, Personal Life, Torah, Business, Work & Money, Vayakhel | 1 Comment »
March 2nd, 2018
The paradox of money.
The Golden Calf. The Holy Temple built of gold.
Greed. Charity.
Wealth – is it a blessing or a curse?
Capitalism has been criticized for its underlying core: Success driven by selfish gain. We have witnessed, especially lately, the consequences of greed turned into mass corporate corruption. But is there a better viable economic system?
These week’s Torah portions address the paradoxical qualities of wealth. Indeed, the contributions to the temple were, according to some, “atonement for your souls” for building the Golden Calf.
We bring you here part one of a comprehensive paper offering and in-depth analysis of money in the context of spiritual aspiration.
ABSTRACT
From the earliest times, wealth and religion have existed in mutually exclusive and seemingly incompatible spheres. Wealth and the process of its acquisition epitomizes ”self” and “self interest,” while religion in its ultimate expression embodies selflessness. The acquisition of wealth draws one down into one’s baser drives while religion channels man’s drives upward toward the sublime and the spiritual.
Yet, however tenuous their relationship, both wealth and religion seem necessary components in ensuring man’s spiritual and physical survival on earth. Reconciling these two forces has challenged man from the beginning of history.
Whether wealth is viewed as virtue or vice depends not just on man’s attitude, nature, and intentions, but on an objectified analysis of the roots and underlying nature of wealth.
In modern times, two major economic models have impacted on the present global economic structure. I will briefly contrast the socialist and capitalist models and finally balance them with a Torah model.
No one in history has influenced social and economic reform more than Karl Marx, whose socialist models and scathing critique of religious and economic systems have worldwide ramifications.Marx defines wealth and religion in negative terms: both are outside forces alienating man from his true self. This paper will use Marx’s philosophical insights as a springboard to demonstrate that wealth and religion are neither external nor alienating to man, but are truly inner forces. When appreciated as such, they assist man to integrate with his inner self.
Marx’s conclusions are accurate in reacting to G-d, religion and wealth as they were perceived and experienced in his times, as well as today. However, when looking at G-d and wealth in its pristine form – as an inner spiritual force – all of Marx’s arguments fall away and we emerge with an elegant model of wealth as an internal force, helping man actualize his true self.
Capitalism, on the other hand, does not argue the alienation factor and the inherent greed in the pursuit of wealth, it simply accepts this as a necessary evil, the only way to motivate labor. Capitalism is in effect a form of resignation, or “rationalization” (in the great sociologist Max Weber’s words), that tries to make the best of life’s presenting conditions. Marx at least recognized the faults in capitalism and demanded a better system, a better world. He opens our eyes to the fact that selfish capitalism is simply inadequate and cannot endure, yet he does not offer a viable alternative.
The stage having thus been set, Torah offers us the working alternative to these two manmade economic models. By demonstrating the “inner” power of wealth and religion described in Torah (and Chassidus, its mystical dimension), we can embrace a new paradigm in the acquisition of wealth, fueled by its spiritual energy, hence creating a system that not only validates the individual drive for wealth, but shows it as a necessary step in its ultimate stage: as a tool for man’s contribution to the common good.
This paper will demonstrate – from a Torah perspective – how wealth reflects the sheer spiritual power behind all that is valuable in this material universe, and thus offers us the greatest opportunity to transform the world. This paper will present the Torah’s revolutionary approach to wealth and offer a blueprint for utilizing wealth in new ways.
INTRODUCTION
Money. Everyone needs it, everyone wants it, and everyone is influenced by it. For good or for bad, no one is oblivious to or unaffected by wealth.
Is wealth virtue or vice? Much has been written on the topic. On one hand, man cannot exist or function without material resources. Great institutions and technologies could not have been built without enormous financial investment. On the other hand, we have seen the noxious, corruptive power of wealth, and its ability to compromise even the purest ideals. The physical and psychological destruction created by the power of wealth has wreaked havoc on families, businesses, and countries. Battles over fortunes have destroyed many lives.
Philosophers, economists and political scientists throughout history have focused on the meaning and significance of money, its effects on a society, the inherent greed in human nature, and how to build a human co-existing community within the context of financial competition.
Socialist economics contends that we must battle the inequality of the classes and create a collective pool, eliminating private ownership and infusing society with a utopian sense of commonness and sharing. Only this, the socialist argument goes, will free man from the exploitation and alienation inherent in the capitalist system.
The free market economy system, in contrast, argues the futility of trying to change man’s inherent greed, individuality and competitive nature. Rather, it maintains, we must harness these forces and channel them into effective and productive growth, within rules, parameters and incentives that offer equal opportunity and charitable endeavors, while fostering healthy competition and rewarding individual contributions and the efforts and investments of the driven wealthy.
Many spiritual schools of thought maintain that wealth is synonymous with the worship of wealth, thus rendering it an inherent evil: the “golden calf” that impedes man’s way to find peace, truth, and happiness. Wealth is diametrically opposed to the spiritual journey. The Mishnah warns “Increasing possessions, increases anxiety.” Hence, spiritual disciplines preach and dictate the need for man to turn away from the pursuit of riches and transcend to another plane of reality; to “rise above” the bourgeois crassness of materialism and embrace the more rarified atmosphere of the sublime. Indeed, in some religious systems, poverty is often seen as a virtue.
Given the many social and religious systems that vilify wealth, the title of this paper may appear to be an oxymoron: With the perception of wealth as evil, the argument could be made that religion is not meant to enhance or form an alliance with wealth, but rather to counterbalance the necessary evil which is wealth and its inevitable negative effects. Is there an essential connection between wealth and religion that not only allows them to coexist but fuses them at their core? Charity, for example, as dictated by religious doctrine, is meant to tame and somewhat redeem our selfish natures through giving. But is this really an effective remedy for the “evils” of wealth, or merely a deterrent?
The power of wealth, when unleashed, can be used for either great achievement or mass destruction, depending on the ethical nature and intentions of the person wielding the wealth. Not surprisingly, there remain varying and even contradicting philosophical approaches toward wealth.
Can we ever hope to create a better system? Can we expect to create a system that synthesizes and harnesses the benefits of both capitalism and socialism? Can we overcome the inherent selfishness of capitalism without undermining the benefits of competition and personal initiative? Can we create a system of equality while maintaining and respecting the power and character of individuality?
That which lies at the heart of the role of wealth in context of religion leads us to fundamental questions regarding the very consciousness of man and the nature and consequences of human individuality and its drives for success and power. How we see wealth and money teaches tells us how we see ourselves, power and our very essential drives. To get a portrait, snapshot of a society we need to study its attitude to wealth and affluence. Money is a metaphor for life. In and of itself, it is simply a means to transfer our neuroses, fears, power and needs.
Any endorsement or even condoning of wealth implies an equal acceptance of inherent individuality. According to Marx, this would imply an acceptance of inherent greed, which is an inevitable result of individuality. Marx clearly and powerfully demonstrated the flaws of capitalism, the abuse of individual empowerment (which explains the seduction of so many intellectuals to his philosophy).
The desire to acquire, to have more than others, creates a sense of security against external forces out of our control.
Ultimately the issue comes down to the origins of wealth, the understanding of inherent human nature and consciousness and man’s aspiration and drive for affluence, wealth and power. What lies at the heart of all these forces?
All existing economic templates and systems are based on certain given attitudes to wealth, certain constants, founded upon pre-existing experiences and the historical use and abuse of wealth. A new economic blueprint can emerge only if we discover a new understanding of wealth and its driving forces. In order to do so, we must identify its essential core, and not just its symptoms.
The ultimate goal of any research should be to: find a new understanding of wealth, that reaches deeper into its core, which would then result in a new approach and attitude to wealth, and in turn allow us to create a new economic model and blueprint. For as long as we continue to look at wealth in context of pre-existing attitudes, we can perhaps come up with new variations, even radically different ones, yet all within the prevailing context. A new perspective, that challenges all previous axioms, allows us the opportunity to develop and cultivate a new approach.
This paper is predicated on the principle that the wisdom of the Torah (Bible) offers us just that opportunity: empowering us with the ability to pierce the surface levels of any given topic and reveal its core root. This provides us with the ability and tools to develop a system and strategy that will enable us to see and use wealth in a new way.
This paper will demonstrate that Torah offers us a revolutionary approach to wealth, and to establishing a ‘new’ economy. By delving into and appreciating the origins of its power, we can transform wealth into a divine (sublime) force that plays an integral role in the unfolding of the human drama and its search for fulfillment. The Torah’s approach gives us a brilliant perspective on wealth, which takes into account and encompasses all the different and opposing elements and approaches to wealth and human nature, while providing us with a working economic model and a practical blueprint for implementation.
Continue Reading the Money and Spirituality Series – Part 2.
Tags: money, corruption, America, wealth, Spirituality
Posted in Good & Evil, Weekly Parsha, Shmot, Beliefs & Concepts, Personal Life, Social, Torah, Business, Work & Money, Government, Ki tissa | 4 Comments »
February 28th, 2018
Can humor be used for spiritual growth? Absolutely! But, it has to be the right and dignified kind of humor. Cynicism, derision, and mocking are forces of negative energy. They hinder one’s personal growth and sense of purpose and meaning in life. However, some types of humor are excellent ways to connect to a higher purpose in life — to transcend your own perceived limits and to open up other people to their true potential. The following three types of humor do just that.
Humor That Opens Hearts
Some jokes have the ability to open hearts. When you use it to open up a heart — to create joy in transcendent things like learning spiritual concepts and doing positive, purposeful deeds in the world — then it becomes a very positive force. When we need to engage others in “serious” activities and they are resistant or emotionally distant, humor helps to break down those walls, and build trust and kinship. A resonating joke puts people at ease and helps them identify with you. Sometimes we need to open up a lesson or activity with something lighter — a release point.
Humor That Reveals the Truth
There is a genre of jokes that reveal a deeper insight into things — a way of showing people the absurdity of life or demonstrating an insightful twist on society — with the intention of teaching, enlightening, and illuminating. Even in situations that are seemingly difficult, insightful humor can give you the inner majesty and internal peace to not be completely demoralized. It’s easier to live with the human condition when you can laugh at it.
Humor That Helps You Grow
Humor can be part of your spiritual growth and development. It comes in the form of jokes that help you lighten up and not take yourself so seriously. Sometimes you have to learn how to smile at yourself and at the difficult or intense situations you deal with in your life — it doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Yet, almost all of us need to be able to step back and sometimes smile at ourselves in order to transform the darker moments in our lives to light.
A Blessing
May we all experience only laughter in our lives, and even when there are times where there’s a dip in our experiences, may that too turn into something that makes us smile.
Go deeper into this subject: Humor (Radio Transcript) | MyLife: Chassidus Applied Episode 122
Tags: humor, personal growth, laughter, self refinement, self-help
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | No Comments »
