May 25th, 2017
The latest brutal murders of young innocent people in Manchester, England by Muslim terrorists bring back to the fore — in case the apathetic needed a reminder — that the ravaging turmoil that defines the Middle East literally from the dawn of history until this very day effects the whole world.
Our hearts and prayers go out to all those lost and wounded, and to their grieving families. But does this outrageous attack on Manchester, happening this week when we honor the 50th anniversary of the Six-Day War, not serve as a rude reminder of the mistakes made when victors of a defensive war empower and enable the losers to raise their heads in aggression?
After all is said and done, all the loss and anguish is clearly rooted in battles that go back millennia. Problems have a number of causes, which need to be remedied both through short-term and long-term interventions. Beyond the immediate necessary response to terror, this essay posits that Islamic terrorism can be traced to a 3,329 year old rejection by Esau and Ishmael at Sinai.
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G-d came from Sinai shone forth to them from Seir [the territory of Esau] and made an appearance from Mount Paran ([Ishmael’s territory]. From the holy myriads, He brought the fire of a religion to them from His right hand. Although there is love for nations, all Your holy ones are in Your hand. They follow Your footsteps and uphold your word – Opening of Moses’ last words and blessings — Deuteronomy 33:2-3
Picture this scenario:
The world’s nations and religions stand in judgment before G-d. G-d is asking them to account for their activities and for what they perpetrated against the Jewish people and against the world. It is a momentous occasion. The destiny of the world hangs in the balance.
Interesting scenario, huh? If only it were true.
Well, this is exactly what transpired 3329 years ago, and is being resolved today.
The Talmud (in the opening of the tractate Avodah Zorah) relates in elaborate detail a fascinating account of a dialogue between G-d and the nations.
I would strongly suggest that each of us read this account during the upcoming holiday of Shavuot – as it addresses the events at Sinai – and I assure you that you will find it surprisingly and uncannily relevant to our times.
Here is a brief summary:
The Talmud tells us that our actions are witnesses that testify on our behalf for posterity.
In this context, the Talmud describes a “trial” that will happen in the “future to be” (referring to the Final Redemption of the entire world, a time of peace and harmony, a world where G-d will be at ‘home’ in our material world). G-d will invite all those who served G-d with Torah to “come and receive their reward.” The nations of the world arrive for their reward. First come the two most prestigious and powerful empires – the Roman Empire followed by the Persian Empire. Each describes its great achievements in commerce, travel, entertainment, etc., explaining how its contributions allowed for Divine service, and facilitated Jews to study Torah. G-d rejects their arguments, stating that their achievements were for their own sake, not for any higher purpose. “Are there among you those that disseminated Torah?” G-d asks them. G-d concludes that there are none, hence the nations are not deserving of any reward.
The same will transpire with every nation. Each will argue that they should merit reward for their temporal achievements which also benefited the spiritual – from which Israel derived benefit – and their claims will be denied.
“Why are the Romans and Persians explicitly mentioned by name as opposed to the other nations that are not mentioned separately?” The Talmud answers: “For these regimes will endure until the arrival of Moshiach.”
The Talmud then continues to relate how the nations will attempt to defend themselves against G-d’s charge that they did not involve themselves in Torah. Briefly, the Talmud suggests three different arguments the nations will proffer.
First, that they were never offered the Torah. This is refuted by the fact that the nations were, indeed, offered the Torah – as it is stated “G-d came from Sinai shone forth to them from Seir [territory of Esau, father of the Romans] and made an appearance from Mount Paran [land of Ishmael, father of the Persians]” – and they did not accept it.
The second claim would be that since the nations never received the Torah, they were not responsible for it. This, too, is an unacceptable defense because in this very contention lies their refutation. For G-d will ask them: “Why, in fact, did you not accept the Torah in the first place?”
Finally, the nations’ defense will be that G-d did not coerce them to receive the Torah as He did the Jews, implying that had G-d coerced them, they too would have received the Torah and followed its precepts. G-d replies: “The first will inform us” – “Your level of commitment to the first set of commitments – the seven universal Noahide Laws of civilization – will inform us whether you, indeed, would have observed the Torah had I coerced you to accept it.” “Since you did not fulfill the seven Noachide precepts, it is evident that you would not observe the Torah’s commandments.”
The nations continue to appeal by asking: What evidence is there that the Jewish people were meticulous in their observance of Torah. After a series of back and forth arguments, the evidence finally comes from the nations themselves who bear witness to the Jews’ commitment. Nimrod bears witness that Abraham was G-d fearing, Laban bears witness that Jacob was ethical, etc.
Finally, the Talmud concludes that the nations request that G-d give them another chance to accept G-d’s commandments. And G-d gives them the chance. And adds that it is only through your effort and preparation today that you can merit reward tomorrow. “If you do not prepare food before Shabbat, what will you have to eat?”
The relevance of this narrative in the modern world is powerfully evident. We are witnessing today the struggle of nations stemming from Esau – the Roman/Christian/Western world, and Ishmael – the Arab/Muslim world. Their confrontations are deeply related to Israel and the Jews – the children of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
This struggle can truly be understood only by retracing its roots. The story of Abraham and his children, and then the story of Sinai seven generations later, tells us how these battles began.
G-d offered the Torah to the great nations/religions of the world. The children of Esau and the children of Ishmael rejected it on grounds that they could not comply with some of Torah’s laws.[1] Instead, these people – who encompass all nations – went on to build powerful empires that made important contributions, but also wreaked great destruction on the world.
Their rejection at Sinai is the root of all our conflicts today. Yet, the solution lies in the very offer that the nations rejected. Why would G-d offer the nations the Torah while surely knowing that they would reject it?[2] The Zohar explains that it was to redeem the Divine ‘sparks’ embedded among the nations. Furthermore, the offer to the nations was actually a way of implanting in them the quality that will ultimately emerge at the end of days when the entire world will serve G-d in unity, “I will turn to the peoples a pure tongue that all shall call upon the name of G-d and serve Him with one consent”[2].
G-d’s dialogue with the nations in the “future to be” comes to bring closure to this unresolved 3329 year old rejection. All the material achievements of nations and regimes must be permeated with a higher, Divine purpose. They must pave the way in order to bring the Divine wisdom and will (Torah) into this world.
How fascinating it is that thousands of years ago Moses, in his final parting words, opens his closing blessing to the people with the vision for the entire world: G-d came from Sinai shone forth to them from Seir and made an appearance from Mount Paran. Moses, 3289 years ago, stated clearly that the Torah would shine forth to all the nations of the world – to the nations of Esau and Ishmael, that encompass all the others.
True, at the time, the nations were not yet ready to embrace the Torah’s values. Yet, the seeds were planted and have worked their way and seeped into the fiber of existence everywhere.
That was then. Now, 3329 years later the time has come for these and all nations to face G-d once again, and this time embrace G-d’s law – to reconnect to the commitment of Abraham, “father of all the nations,” that was consummated at Sinai.
As we enter into the holiday of Shavuot, when we celebrate and commemorate the giving of Torah at Sinai 3329 years ago, what more appropriate message is there for each of us and for the world today? We are called upon to declare: Let us make our peace with Sinai.
The nations of the world must and will embrace their legacy — to integrate G-d into their lives, teach G-d’s laws to their children and infuse spirituality into all systems. Jews must fulfill their calling of being a “light unto nations,” bringing Sinai and its teachings to all.
G-d knocked on the door once over three millennia ago. G-d has been waiting ever since. Religions and faiths have been born in the interim and have been going through their growing pains. Some have brought untold devastation to the world. Each has undergone its own ‘market corrections’ and reality checks.
Today, fifty years after the Six-Day War, as the nations – especially Esau and Ishmael – confront the world and each other, G-d’s 3329 year knock resonates louder than ever.
Are we listening? Are we responding?
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1. See also Zohar III 192b. Mechilta Yitro 20:2. Sifri and Rashi Deuteronomy 33:2.
2. See the Tzemach Tzedek, Ohr HaTorah p. 1840, on the verse in Deuteronomy.
3. Zefaniah 3:9. Maimonides. Mishne Torah, Laws of Kings end of chapter 11.
Posted in Shavuot, Operation Iron Swords, Months & Holidays, Social, Torah, Terrorism, The Inside Story, Sivan, Current Events | 4 Comments »
May 18th, 2017
Fifty years ago, as America was celebrating its “Summer of Love,” another type of summer, “The Summer of Awakening,” was heralded in by the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson.
That summer of ’67 Israel had won a miraculous victory. Despite all odds and dire predictions, in a mere six days, the small Israeli army obliterated six Arab armies. The incredible victory brought on a euphoric surge of hope and faith that affected people of all backgrounds. Believer and atheist, politician and laymen — all were suddenly touched to tears.
Let us take a trip back fifty years ago to the resounding words of the Rebbe that summer of 1967. In a most dramatic and revolutionary fashion, the Rebbe spoke at length about the spiritual awakening that consumed the world at the time. The following is a summary of what he said.
I was reading, the Rebbe began, a discourse from my father-in-law [the Rebbe Yosef Yitzchak (1880-1950)], titled “V’hoyo yitoka b’shofar gadol,” which was written in 1943 and published again in 1945. Studying the discourse, I realized that in it the Rebbe [Yosef Yitzchak] was addressing the events of our times.
At the time that the discourse was delivered its visionary message was not appreciated, as is often the case. But now, in perspective, when we witness current events and look closely at his words, we can see the amazing prescience of the discourse, how it foretells of things to come and sheds light on the deeper meaning and significance of global affairs and shifts.
This is not surprising because Torah is the blueprint of existence and, as such, it contains within it the patterns of events until the end of time. The Bible tells us (Deuteronomy 34:2, in Sifrei and Rashi), that G-d showed Moses all the events that would transpire “until the last day” of time. (1)
In the discourse the Rebbe Yosef Yitzchak explains that preceding the Messianic age there would be two stages that would help prepare the way for a new age of personal and global redemption, a new world of global peace and tranquility.
The first stage is alluded to in the book of Zechariah (9:15): The Lord G-d shall sound the shofar and march forth in a southerly storm-wind.
The “southerly storm-wind” refers to the major upheavals of the two World Wars which wreaked a terrible deluge of destruction upon the world.
Till this day no one can truly understand how events erupted into the explosive World Wars. First, World War I – sparked by the assassination of an individual in Sarajevo – disintegrated the entire world order, bringing on the demise of centuries-old empires, not to mention the death of over 9 million people. The storm of World War II was far worse and far more shocking. Who could have imagined that an incapable and incompetent social misfit would rise to power, bring on a reign of terror to the world never before seen in all of history, kill millions upon millions, to the point of threatening to swallow up the entire world with his demonic drive of global domination?
What conditions allowed for such a horrific storm to destroy hundreds of millions of lives and drive fear and dread into the hearts of nations, leaders and millions of world citizens – something so irrational and unpredictable?
According to the prophet Zechariah, the “storm-winds of the south” are a result of the dissonance between the nations of the world and their Divine calling. G-d created the material universe in order to give us the opportunity to recognize the Cosmic Hand at work and do everything in our power to reveal the spiritual within all matter. Mission: sublimate our wordly existence into a civilized home for the Divine. When a schism develops between existence and its purpose, between matter and spirit, between form and function – an inevitable storm will break out, demanding that the deep rift be repaired. In order to pierce the armor of this dissonance – the divide between a material universe that has lost touch with its higher purpose – the sound of the shofar rang forth and it brought on the “southerly storm-wind” which dove dread into the hearts of nations in the two World Wars.
The shofar is a wake-up call, beckoning us to recognize that something is terribly wrong. Without accountability to a higher purpose, humans can turn into beasts, destroying everything in their path – as the world wars demonstrated with such devastating impact.
Critical disclaimer: This is not to suggest that G-d caused the World Wars and all their destruction. Humans, terrible humans, were responsible and accountable for the devastation that they wreaked. The prophet is addressing the underlying cosmic roots that allow for such devastation and the consequences of such behavior.
The “southerly storm-wind” caused by the shofar’s call is meant to make us aware. By learning the proper lessons of the World Wars and rectifying the causes, the nations of the world can become refined and prepared to create a peaceful world – aligned with the Divine mission statement.
The second stage of preparation for the Redemption will not be a terrifying tempest, but a gentle awakening, like the loving call of a father to his child. This stage is described by Isaiah (27:13) in the verse that the discourse is based upon, V’hoyo yitoka b’shofar gadol: And it shall be on that day, that a great shofar shall be sounded, and those who were lost in the land of Ashur and those who were banished in the land of Mitzrayim shall come and bow down to G-d on the holy mountain in Jerusalem.
One of the most fundamental consequences of spiritual dissonance is called “galut” (exile) – displacement. Gulut is a physical and spiritual sense of not feeling “at home” in this world (“because of our sins we were exiled from our land”).
Therefore, one of the great developments at the end of days will be the “gathering of the exiles.” “G-d will bring back your exiles… He will gather you from all the nations, where He had dispersed you. Even if your exiles are at the end of the heavens, G-d will gather you from there” (Deuteronomy 30:3-4).
This is what the prophet Isaiah is telling us, in the previous verse (27:12), “And you will be gathered up, one by one, O children of Israel.” As Rashi explains, the “gathering of the exiles” will be such a monumental and difficult process, “that it is as though G-d Himself must literally take each individual with His very hands,” taking him out of his place in exile.
Spiritual displacement can occur in two ways: Through prosperity and through poverty. These are the two forms of exile that Isaiah refers to: 1) “Those who were lost in the land of Ashur and 2) those who were banished in the land of Mitzrayim.”
“Ashur” is the Hebrew word for pleasure, referring to all the material pleasures in which people indulge. Prosperity and success are blessings. However, when they lead to self-indulgence, they can cause a person to become “lost in the land of Ashur” – becoming utterly insensitive and complacent, lost in self-interest.
“Mitzrayim” means constraints, embodying all the oppressive forces in life that trap and overwhelm us. Diametrically opposed to the prosperity of “Ashur,” “Mitzrayim” denotes the suffering state to which some people may be “banished.”
Since souls on this earth “were lost in the land of Ashur” and others “banished in the land of Mitzrayim” – the question begs: How is it possible to reach people who are so locked and trapped in their own limited perception? Even if G-d Himself will gather His children up “one by one,” still, this gathering cannot be done through coercion. The process requires the cooperation and receptivity of those being gathered. They must have some interest in discovering their spiritual destinies.
If they are “lost” in their pleasures or “banished” in their oppression, how will they ever be reached?
Answers Isaiah: V’hoyo yitoka b’shofar gadol. “And it shall be on that day, that a great shofar shall be sounded, and those who were lost in the land of Ashur and those who were banished in the land of Mitzrayim shall come and bow down to G-d on the holy mountain in Jerusalem.”
A regular shofar cannot reach the hearts of the “lost” and “banished.” It can wake up those who are drowsy, but not completely asleep. It can also keep people semi-awake. But, they may fall back into sleep. There will be those who are in a deep slumber, utterly unaware of their own souls and inner spirituality, totally consumed with their lives – either in prosperity or in struggle. The only way they can be awakend is through the “great shofar,” an all-powerful call from above that pierces even the hardest armor and deepest levels of “loss” and “banishment.”
This explains why Isaiah says simply “yitoka,” without defining who is blowing the shofar, unlike Zechariah who says “The Lord G-d shall sound the shofar.” The names of G-d imply defined and revealed levels of Divine expression. they have the power to reach. A regular shofar reaches only those who are themselves conscious and sensitive (at least somewhat) to the world of spirit. But to reach the deepest recesses of the souls that are “lost” and “banished,” with no revealed spiritual consciousness and awareness, requires the call of the “great shofar.” The Great Shofar is rooted in the Divine Essence, beyond any name or definition.
The purpose of the “Great Shofar’s” call is to prepare the world for redemption by awakening the innermost levels of spirit embedded in the darkest corners of the world. The souls that are “lost in the land of Ashur” and “banished in the land of Mitzrayim,” after their initial inspiration, “shall come and bow down to G-d on the holy mountain in Jerusalem.”
The call of the “Great Shofar” is the second stage of preparation for personal and global redemption. It follows the first stage, “G-d shall sound the shofar and march forth in a southerly storm-wind,” which refers to the two World Wars.
In my humble opinion, the Rebbe declared, this second stage, the call of the “Great Shofar,” took place several days before Shavuot, in the summer of 1967.
Totally unexpected, the miraculous victory of the Six-Day War evoked an unprecedented spiritual awakening amongst people of all backgrounds. Religious and secular alike, believers and cynics, could not contain their tears when touching the stones of the newly reclaimed Western Wall. Regardless of their previous life choices, regardless of education or lack of education, people from all over the world – even those “lost in the land of Ashur” and “banished in the land of Mitzrayim,” even people who a moment earlier had no idea or interest in Israel – suddenly felt a surge of connection and were drawn to travel from the world over to “the holy mountain in Jerusalem,” ready to “bow down to G-d.”
The amazing thing is this: the powerful awakening did not come as result of any change of status in people’s lives. The challenges of the pleasures of “Ashur” and the oppression of “Mitzrayim” remained intact. The pleasures were not weakened and the difficulties were not alleviated. Still, a soulful awakening stirred the entire world.
What caused this sudden, unprecedented awakening – one far greater than any inspiration following the two World Wars? It would seem far more likely that the horrors of World War II would have brought on powerful spiritual revival and a profound sense of responsibility. The annihilation of six million Jews who died sanctifying G-d’s name in a most dreadful fashion – a Holocaust of unparalleled proportions – should have evoked the deepest awakening of all.
Instead, we find that initially many denied the extent of the tragedy. Then, when it was no longer possible to ignore the enormity of the losses, one would think that Jews all over would have been shaken to the core and that they would have been moved to do everything possible for our brothers and sisters, our own family, in Europe. Simple mentshlechkeit would have dictated as much.
The point is not to be negative, but rather to look honestly into our own hearts. Each person knows deep within what he or she did – or did not do – at the time. Some prayed and said psalms, others contributed money, others sighed. Some spoke out and wrote articles. But everyone, even those not “lost” or “banished,” remained “intact.” Regardless of what was done, people were not shaken to the extent that one might have predicted, given the terrible events taking place in Europe.
By contrast, the victory of the Six-Day war, affected not six million, but two and half million people, and only with fear and threats, not (G-d forbid) actual annihilation. Nevertheless, this victory shook up Jews all over the world.
The only explanation for this is that in 1967 the call came from the “great shofar,” which reaches far deeper and wider than the “plain” shofar that brought on the “storm-winds of the south” during the two World Wars.
Had we merited, we would have been blessed with the sounding of the “great shofar” immediately following the “storm-winds of the south” in World War I. This would have drawn those “lost in the land of Ashur” and “banished in the land of Mitzrayim” to “come and bow down to G-d on the holy mountain in Jerusalem.” In actuality, only a few were awakened by the “regular” shofar call of World War I.
Next, the even stronger “storm-winds of the south” of World War II blew in. This also failed to rouse the world sufficiently.
Now, in 1967, after the raging storms of the past, came the loving call of the “great shofar,” of a father calling to his children – reaching into the core and moving the essence of all his children. This time, even those “lost in the land of Ashur and those who were banished in the land of Mitzrayim were roused.” In G-d’s great mercy, this call came only with initial concerns and fears, not like the storms of both World Wars.
Now, the onus is upon us. The awakening itself is a gift of love that comes from on high. But then, each of us has free will to choose what comes next.
Will we utilize this awakening to its fullest? Will we act upon it and allow it to lead us to “come and bow down to G-d on the holy mountain in Jerusalem”?
Now that the “great” shofar has called to us, G-d implores, beseeches and asks us: Please, please use this great spiritual awakening for what it was intended. Channel it into your day to day activities. Transform your lives into Divine lives. Sanctify your corner of the material world. Recognize and reveal the spiritual energy embedded in all of existence – through living virtuous, moral lives, saturated with Torah and mitzvoth.
And by doing so, we prepare ourselves to be led by the hand, “one by one,” each one of us from our respective states of spiritual displacement, to the point of complete alignment of our bodies and souls, humbly bowing to the Divine presence on the holy mountain in Jerusalem.
These are the unforgettable words uttered by the Rebbe fifty years ago.
We are now in 2017. Fifty years have passed since the ’67 summer of awakening. Now, we can look back, blessed with the wisdom of experience that 50 years bring, and analyze what happened in the interim. Was the inspiration of the summer of 1967 actualized?
What deeper understanding do we have today about the events that transpired 50 years ago? Have we have become smarter or stupider?
Above all, will we learn the appropriate lessons of the past four decades, to chart a new course for the future?
What went wrong? And what can we do about it today?
The first question will answer your second one. By understanding what went wrong we can learn what we must do:
Yitoke b’shofar godol. The conquest and return to Jerusalem created a surge of unprecedented awakening. But now, as it is with every inspiration, the challenge is maintaining the inspiration. As the inspiration dissipates we tend to take our miracles and gifts for granted.
And therein lays the failure to achieve Middle East peace over last 50 years, as well as the key to how to solve the problem from here on.
This will be the theme of next week’s article.
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(1) Interesting to note that during that summer of ’67 the Rebbe himself delivered the same discourse (on the abovementioned verse) not once, but three times (Rosh Hashana, Shabbat Shuva and Simchat Torah), in addition to several other discourses which he delivered during those months that address related themes (Im hoyo nidochacho on Shabbat Parshat Netzovim and Hineni mayvi oisom on Shabbat Parshat Noach).
Tags: war, Six day war, 1967, holocaust, redemption, Israel, pleasure, shofar
Posted in Israel, Beliefs & Concepts, Social, Moshiach & Redemption, Torah, Current Events | 1 Comment »
May 17th, 2017
Are you awake, alert, alive, and enthusiastic? Did you jump out of bed excited to start the day? Or was coffee the only incentive you had to haul yourself out of bed this morning? Did you even get a good night’s sleep? Are your mornings a series of disjointed tasks that seem to offer you no spiritual or emotional return on investment? Good morning, sunshine! We have a solution for you.
You must go to the root of the problem. If you’ve tried everything — keeping technology out of your bedroom, going to sleep earlier, dealing with general physical and mental health issues, and making sure you have a good reason to get out of bed — then the root of your lousy mornings might be the way you went to sleep. It could be time to try a new nightly ritual.
Your New Nightly Ritual
1. A Moment of Silence: Before you go to bed, give yourself two minutes to sit quietly. Do nothing. Breathe. No telephone, no computer, no TV. Just sit there for a minute or two.
2. Take Care of Your Physical Needs: Go to bed feeling dignified. Although you might be exhausted and ready to collapse into bed, give yourself the gift of feeling dignified. When you take five minutes to take a quick shower, brush and floss, and use some kind of nice and pampering beauty or hygiene product (whatever makes you feel good), you’ll get into bed feeling like a human.
3. Think About Your Day: It doesn’t have to be a lengthy journaling session, nor a full psychological evaluation — all you have to do is think about how your day went. If something sticks out — something you could have handled better, briefly acknowledge it and plan to do better tomorrow. This is not meant to cause anxiety, but to allow you to go to bed feeling hopeful that you will grow and improve yourself the next day.
4. Send Good Wishes to Anyone You Resent: Resentment can keep us up at night, and can discourage us from getting out of bed in the morning with enthusiasm. Mentally or out loud, wish everyone you resent a good night’s sleep and a great awakening.
5. Say A Prayer: Regardless of your relationship (or lack thereof) in G-d or a Higher Power, verbally set some kind of intention and give thanks for what you have that is positive, and what sustains you.
6. Do Some Light and Positive Reading: Don’t get engrossed in reading something intense; once you are in bed, turn on a little reading light and read a few pages of something inspiring, positive, and uplifting. A spiritual insight or inspiration is a great option.
7. Doze off to a good night’s sleep.
Go deeper into this subject: The Spiritual Meaning of Day and Night | MyLife: Chassidus Applied Episode 36 | How to Stop Hitting the Snooze Button
Tags: sleeping, time management, introspection
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Daily Life, Life Cycles | No Comments »
May 16th, 2017
The danger of mundane life is that people who love each other can start to grow apart. In the midst of our daily grind, we may take our relationships for granted and not nurture them as we should. If you are feeling distant from your spouse and need to reconnect, here are three suggestions, which have been proven to work.
Write a heartfelt letter to your spouse.
When was the last time you told your spouse how much he or she means to you? Writing a detailed, expressive letter is an effective way to do that. Evoke feelings and speak from your heart. Open up and break the ice; find new words that are different from the way you have become accustomed to speaking to each other. Your words will not be in vain, even if your spouse does not respond immediately, because words from the heart enter the heart.
Take a technology break.
It is very hard to connect with the person sitting across from you when you are both looking at the screens of your devices. To revitalize your relationship, go on a date or set aside some quiet time together during which you turn off your devices and strictly pay attention to each other. Have heartfelt conversations, or reminisce about good times. Use the distraction-free time to revive the values, shared goals, and attraction that brought you together.
Do something to jolt yourself out of your routines.
Do something different to get different results: We minimize the impact of our habits. Motivation and passion comes from breaking out of our comfort zones — sometimes the desire to change is not enough, and we have to actually do something to jolt ourselves out of our habits. Shake up your relationship in a positive way. Come up with a creative idea. Get out of your normal environment. Dare to dare.
Exercise: Envision what it would be like to have a vibrant relationship in your MyMLC journal. What would it be like to transcend your differences with your spouse and experience unity? Use your imagination and be fearless while journaling.
Go deeper into this subject: Reviving Intimacy | MyLife: Chassidus Applied Episode 5 | Love is in the Air
Tags: love, marriage, intimacy, relationships, Habits, healthy relationships, comfort zone
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Love & Marriage | No Comments »
May 12th, 2017
Are you able to think for yourself? Or are your thoughts shaped by others — parents, educators, society, the media?
I.Q. is not an indicator of your ability to think independently, in an original and coherent way — there are people with genius-level I.Q.’s who are not capable of thinking outside the box. Thinking for yourself (“thinking different”) is a skill that must be developed and nurtured. The following three steps are the foundations of learning that skill and enriching it.
Expend Energy
Effort is worth more than brain power. A weaker mind that exerts itself can surpass a more gifted but passive mind. Thinking for yourself is a product of mental and emotional exertion — a concerted effort to think freely, and not just fall back on your comfortable and natural patterns. Picture your good, perceptive, fresh ideas as a spark in a flint stone, or a diamond encased in rock. You must apply pressure to the rock to extract the diamond. In cognitive terms, pressure comes in the form of deep concentration and mental strain — wrestling with ideas in a way that transcends your comfort zone.
Feed Your Mind
While new insights are a product of mental exertion, they are also a product of allowing your perspective to be challenged. Indeed, that is a key ingredient in the acquisition of knowledge. Discovering the ultimate truth requires exposure to many diverse opinions and channels of truth. Feeding your mind with knowledge through reading, discussing, and taking classes — and robust (well intentioned) arguments — broadens your horizons so that you can go beyond your habitual patterns of thought. Nothing allows your mind grow more then inviting constructive critique.
Work on Humility
A biased and subjective mind is limited in its capacity, and narrows your scope; modesty and patience leads to more objective and broader conclusions. When you take yourself — your ego — out of the picture, you are able to open your channels to ideas that your “self” (and your prejudices and blind spots) would otherwise block or reject.
Exercise: Choose a problem that you would like to solve, whether the issue involves navigating a strained family dynamic, evaluating risk models in sports betting, or outlining a career transition. Set aside time to be fully present and mindful while researching and thinking deeply about it. Push yourself beyond your usual limits, exploring the idea in a way that goes beyond your comfort zone. Be humble in the process. Journal about it in MyMLC.
Go deeper into this subject: Think Different Part One | Think Different Part Two | Transcending Limiting Beliefs
Tags: ego, humility, thought, Intellect
Posted in Soul Gym, Social, Education | 2 Comments »
May 10th, 2017
This post is a response to a question from one our Soul Workout readers. Do you have a question you would like addressed? Submit your anonymous question.
Question: ” I have a pattern of leaving relationships instead of working things out. I don’t even know how does one work things out?”
Reply: All of us — yes, even the writers of these Soul Workouts — are imperfect people. And we don’t always know how to work things out. So welcome to the club. However, one thing we do know — and one thing we are absolutely committed to — is to build happy lives. To work on having fulfilling marriages and intact homes and families.
That unwavering and unconditional commitment carries us even when things are not clear, and when we are faced with everyday annoyances, misunderstandings, arguments, and resentments in relationships.
Here then are some tips to building and maintaining healthy relationships. (These tips obviously don’t replace the need to consult friends or professionals that know you, especially when dealing with serious issues of abuse).
Focus on What You Want to Build
Instead of dwelling on yourself and what will make you happy, focus on what you want to create and build. What type of relationship? What type of home and family? Instead of thinking about your needs and what you want in the relationship, think about what give and what you bring to the relationship. Take responsibility for the relationship you build.
Honor Commitment
When you are committed to a relationship, the relationship itself comes before whatever issue you are having with your spouse. You might be right; your spouse might be right; both of you might be wrong; both of you might be right — it doesn’t matter. What matters is the relationship. Sometimes you gotta back down in an argument in the name of the relationship.
Do Not Pursue Perfection
Nothing and no one in the physical world is perfect. Settle for — and appreciate — good enough. When our spouses do things that we find to be imperfect and/or annoying, we remind ourselves that they are good people who are wonderful in most ways. If something our spouses are doing is very disruptive or annoying, we respectfully ask him or her to stop lest we let small irritations build up to a big explosion of suppressed frustrations. But our general motto is, “Live and let live.”
Put In More Than You Withdrew During the Argument
Picture your relationship like a bank account: You don’t want a deficit. When you and your spouse get annoyed at each other, you’re withdrawing from the bank. In order that your relationship doesn’t deteriorate into a series of disagreements and misunderstandings, you’ve got to put healthy, happy experiences in the bank. This means reminding yourselves of your shared mission in life and doing things aligned with that mission. It also means taking the time to enjoy each other’s company — to remember why you are together in the first place.
Go deeper into this subject: Unconditional Love | A Marriage Made on Earth | The Soul of a Conflict | MyLife: Chassidus Applied Episode 58
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
The Middle East: A 4-Step Peace Plan
Wednesday, November 20, 2024 @8:30pm
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Tags: healthy relationships, love, marriage, relationships, conflict resolution, Lasting Love
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May 9th, 2017
Fear is not doubt. While fear can be your friend, doubt stops you in your tracks. Healthy fear — as in being alert and on your toes — can save you. Without fear we could get hurt. We can be out of touch. Fear is triggered when you feel danger or something amiss. Fear is not being oblivious to a situation but being aware of it and acting accordingly. Harnessed fear alerts you. Warns you. Activates adrenaline. Fear keeps you safe through healthy caution, motivates the mind to action, and avails self-defense.
But doubt is no ally. Doubt doesn’t rescue you. It is not discernment. It is not treading carefully. Doubt is the void, one of hesitation. It is paralysis. While healthy fear wakes you up, doubt demoralizes you. Facing a threat, doubt distracts and weakens your resolve. It can bring you to defeat because you do not act. It can be our worst enemy – because it is the one hardest to see. When we least expect it, in times of vulnerability, the enemy of the doubt hidden inside freezes us and stunts our ability to move forward, often ruining our chances to grow.
Self doubt is often bred in our formative years. Either because of the way we were raised or our school experiences, or perhaps some form of trauma (we may have been laughed at, invalidated or dismissed in other ways), many people live in stasis, trapped in the status quo, unable to move forward, because they assume that they will fail or that the world is against them. They may be jaded from past experiences and negative messages. Often, this lack of faith in our abilities is ultimately a lack of faith that we are connected to a greater purpose in life.
How can you beat the silent killer called doubt? By taking action and focusing on the end goal: Your own personal mission statement. The key is to take it one step at a time. One small victory at a time. Doubt will paralyze you if you try to take on too much. But if you take on one thing, then you can begin to feel empowered.
Choose one challenge that you feel you can handle. Just one. And handle it. That one victory will build your confidence (and begin to weaken your doubt). The day after, take on a second challenge. Victory breeds victory. Confidence breeds confidence. Like slowly exercising and conditioning your muscles, these small victories build your confidence. Even when you have a difficult day or face a setback, always remember: forge ahead. Know that you have an eternal flame inside you that can never be extinguished, even by years of doubt. Feed the fire with fuel: In every area of life, focus on one forward act at a time. And always know that you are standing on a secure foundation — the certainty that you are connected to an infinite light. Armed with your small victories and confidence in your secure base, you can and will experience the joy of overcoming doubt.
Go deeper into this subject: Doubt: The Silent Killer | Apathy: The Incurable Disease | Ronald Reagan
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Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
To Be or Not To Be? The Spiritual Art of Making Decisions
Wednesday, February 25, 2026 @8:30pm
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Tags: fear, doubt, Amalek
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Emotions & Psychology | 3 Comments »
May 7th, 2017
Single people from all over complain that they have burned out on dating. Many have, sadly, given up on finding their soul mates. If you are single and burned out on dating, this Soul Workout is dedicated to you.
Dating can be painful. You put your heart out there on the line, get your hopes up, and it doesn’t work out. Or you swipe right, agree to meet for coffee, and the person who you meet is not who you were expecting. Or your coworker sets you up with her friend who turns out to be “nice”, but something feels really off about him or her. Everywhere you go, happy-looking couples are holding hands, making googly eyes, acting the fool, but the last relationship you were in ended when your boyfriend/girlfriend “loved” you “but wasn’t in love” with you. Or everyone you meet seems to be comparing multiple prospects at once, as if dating were shopping for appliances. Often it seems that the climate of our times is such that people simply resist the commitment necessary for building and maintaining a healthy relationship. Whether it’s due to “commitment issues” (real or imagined), doesn’t really matter. The bottom line is — we’re burned out from dating. “I’d be better off single,” you say to yourself, to your friends, to your therapist, and to your mother who desperately wants grandchildren.
Stop. We have an alternative:
- Figure out who you are: You might say, “There is no one in this entire city for me.” Fine, but who are you? Are you sure you know who you are and what you stand for? Maybe your vision of yourself is cloudy; maybe you can’t find your match because you’re not aware of — and not expressing — your inner identity, who you are in the deepest part of your psyche. Ask yourself: are you being honest with yourself, or are you being who you think people want to date? Find your voice. When you are living out your life’s purpose, being the most you that you can be, you’re 100% more likely to attract the right person into your life. After all, can we find our soul mate if we haven’t yet found our own soul?
- Take dating slowly: When you meet someone who you kind of like, why not get to know the person for a while before getting romantic? You don’t need to protect yourself by ceasing to date altogether; you could just change how you are dating. Don’t allow yourself to get pressured to move faster than necessary. Build positive experiences together; talk about your values; see how the person behaves. Taking it slow protects you from getting burned. If you are meant to be a couple, getting to know each other well before introducing the powerful and often unwieldy force of romance will strengthen your relationship. If you’re not meant to be a couple, you haven’t put your heart on the chopping block, and maybe you’ve made a friend.
- Respect yourself : Your heart and soul — as well as the heart and soul of the person you’re dating — are sacred. A relationship is not a frivolous interaction; it is the way two special people connect, and build something together. A relationship ought to filled with fun and spirit; but it is not a game. Respect your own dignity and the dignity of your dating partner — respect the dignity of your relationship; higher the standard of your expectations — and the relationship will take on a new dimension, providing you with the clarity to pursue it or not.
- Set your intentions and communicate them: If you’re looking to get married one day and the person you are dating is “playing the field”, don’t trick yourself into thinking that you are so wonderful that you will slyly win his or her heart and convert him or her to a lifetime of monogamy with you. If you’re commitment-minded, only date other people who are commitment-minded. Set your intentions: You want to meet your soulmate. Communicate them: If you scare the person away by being clear that you are trying to date seriously and are not interested in vying for somebody’s affections, at least you won’t get hurt.
- Define what you are seeking: List the three most important qualities you are looking for in a soul mate.
When you are focused and persistent, you have the ability to ensure that the feeling of being burned out will pass. The best thing that you can do with it is to use it as a springboard for growth. Beyond figuring out that your last boyfriend or girlfriend was a jerk, what did you learn about yourself from the relationship? What did it teach you about who you are really looking for? Did the person have qualities that you do want to find in your soul mate? If you use dating as a learning experience leading you toward your soul mate, each date that doesn’t work out can help clarify who you are, and who you’re looking for.
Go deeper into this subject: Finding Your Transcendent Soulmate | The Secret to Lasting Love | Secrets to Finding Love | Getting Played | In the Friend Zone
Tags: sexuality, love, marriage, dating, Lasting Love
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May 5th, 2017
The people looking to learn how to eat mindfully are specifically the ones that “mindful eating” won’t work for. A normal person, meaning a person who is not regularly compelled to overeat, has no problem eating mindfully. She eats her food, stops when she’s full, and eats again later when she’s hungry. She is capable of eating one square of dark chocolate and savoring it — she needs no “practice” in order to do so. She has her occasional peccadilloes, much like a social drinker who every so often will have one too many, but she isn’t particularly concerned about her eating habits. She isn’t filling an emotional void with food.
If someone is a compulsive overeater, no amount of “eating mindfully” will stop her from eating a bag of candy and a box of cookies at her desk while she works for the afternoon. There is no “mindful” when the compulsive overeater is passing the donut shop and says to herself, “You’ll just get one today.” There is no “mindful eating” when there is a leftover cake in the office kitchen going stale, and it’s a slow day in the cubicle, and all the frosting on the cake needs to be eaten with one’s fingers. There is no “mindful eating” when the pan of brownies is a little burned and nobody else wants to eat them. There is no “mindful eating” when the French fries are getting cold and she’s already full. There is no “mindful eating” when a compulsive overeater has eaten carefully in front of guests, and finally the guests have gone home.
When you are the kind of person who can’t stop overeating and needs to Google “mindful eating”, you’ve got to realize that you’re dealing with an addiction. Compulsive overeating is like alcoholism and drug addiction. Can an alcoholic “mindfully” drink alcohol? “I’ll just drink this one glass of wine mindfully, breathing with awareness every sip,” he says to himself, only to wake up three weeks later in a detox center. Despite his best intentions, he is unable to control his drinking through mindfulness. Perhaps a few times he is able to slowly savor one alcoholic beverage, but inevitably he ends up on a bender. And like every addiction, overeating is a result of a void.
“Mindful eating” — like the rest of the new-age diet industry (macrobiotics! raw foods! colonics! juice fasting!) — is a good way to sell books and retreats, and a horrible way to try to recover from compulsive overeating. (These modalities may be healthy for people who are not compulsive overeaters, but unfortunately are frequently sold as a way to “stop food cravings for good!”.) The reason so much “eating mindfully” literature is consumed (pun intended!) is because compulsive overeaters will try the same ineffective stuff over and over and over — and will pay anything — to try to get control over their eating. But, you can’t pay your way out of an emotional or spiritual deficit. We overeat because something deeper is dying of hunger.
Compulsive overeaters are not able to use tools like eating mindfully until they are already in recovery and abstinent from their destructive behavior. In order to recover, the overeater needs to join a community of recovering compulsive overeaters. Community isn’t enough, though — you need to see your eating disorder for what it is: an emotional and psychological problem with an emotional and psychological solution. What are you really hungry for?
If you are struggling with overeating, instead of trying to fight the urge head-on, begin looking for the underlying causes of your cravings. What are you really seeking when you are full but are still munching on the cookies? We are all longing for love — to be loved for who we are. We are all longing for transcendence — for a connection to the eternal. Don’t allow your mouth to replace your soul. Consuming food will never compensate for a disconnection with your psyche’s deeper aspirations.
Go deeper into this subject: Bread from Heaven | Mystical Meals | The Power of Five Seconds | Having Intention
Tags: weight, weight loss, food, eating
Posted in Soul Gym, Personal Life, Food & Eating | 3 Comments »
May 2nd, 2017
Do you ever feel so stuck and hopeless that you just want to give up? When we are in a state of anticipating failure, the mind can play tricks on us. Here are a few counterproductive thoughts to listen for when all feels futile. With each negative thought to look out for, we offer mind-shifting strategies that can help you emerge from disorienting darkness into daylight.
“I can’t do this.”
Keep going. Don’t get sucked into thinking that you’ll be in this dark place forever. You will reach the proverbial Promised Land (whether it’s that final, beautiful piece of art, or that feeling of breathing easy once again). The secret is to just keep going. Forge ahead. The only way out is through. In fact, if you stay focused and push through, your “low” will likely give way to new creative heights, new insights, and new opportunities.
“This is overwhelming.”
Divide and conquer. Think specific. Think of whatever you’re going through as a particular, isolated issue, not a huge, pervasive one. That will make it feel manageable and make it easier to tackle in a practical way. Untangle one tangle at a time.
“I’m a failure.”
Don’t personalize. The real enemy is not your problem; it’s your ego. Just because you’re confronting this one bad thing doesn’t mean you’re a total mess of a person and your entire life is a failure. Don’t allow your adversary to become your identity. Just because someone didn’t like your voice and your piece of art doesn’t mean that no one ever will. Don’t take failure or rejection personally—it’ll suck the resolve right out of you. Don’t beat yourself up for your failures (yes, self-deprecation is also ego). And if you can’t solve the problem yourself, get out of the way even more and ask others and/or a Higher Power for help.
So what should you do when you’re on the verge of giving up? Don’t. Persist toward your goal. As the old proverb goes, “The darkest hour is just before the dawn.”
Go deeper into this subject: Your Guide to Personal Freedom: Counting the Omer Week 4 | Are You Driven? | The Only Way Out is Through | The Difficult Lamb
SOULGYM I MASTERCLASS
Live with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
The Kabbalah of Action: Do First, Understand Later
March 25, 2025 @8:30pm
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Tags: Netzach, problem solving
Posted in Soul Gym | 24 Comments »
